Recovery
Part 36
Jing-Mei continues her phone conversation with Mr. Santini.
Mr. Santini: Well, what would I have to do for Erik?
Jing-Mei: Just talk with Dr. Legaspi. She has some questions about Erik's past that only you can answer.
Mr. Santini: Why doesn't she just ask Erik?
Jing-Mei: Erik isn't exactly talking right now. That's why we need your help.
Mr. Santini: I don't feel comfortable about saying anymore about Erik's past.
Jing-Mei: Please Mr. Santini...I'm begging you. Erik has shut himself inside this shell and nothing we do will bring him out. If we don't do something quick, we are going to lose him forever. The boys will never know their daddy and Erik won't ever realize what he's missing out on not being a part of his boys' lives.
Mr. Santini thinks it over. He hesitates and then gives Jing-Mei an answer.
Mr. Santini: Alright. I'll see what I can do. I do want to help the boy. I miss him and his old ways... you know, watching hockey games on tv, hanging out, hearing about his love life, having my own personal doctor. I want that back.
Jing-Mei: So do I. Unfortunately, Erik probably will never be a doctor again but if he can go back to doing normal, boring, routine things than I will be eternally grateful. He needs to be a role model to the children. They need someone to look up to. There's only so many things I can do for them. Now, if I had a little girl, it would be different. Anyway, you will go to the hospital then and meet with Erik's shrink?
Mr. Santini: When do you want me to go?
Jing-Mei: I have to get back to work in a couple of hours. I could meet you there in Dr. Legaspi's office at about 5pm.
Mr. Santini: I'll be there. (pause) Do you think I will get a chance to see Erik?
Jing-Mei: I don't see why not. I think the more visitors Erik has, the more he will realize that people do care and that, although we don't show it alot of the times, he's our friend and we do love him.
Mr. Santini: I love that boy like a son. Actually, he's the son I never had. I only wish I had a chance to raise him. I would have...uh, you said 5pm.
Jing-Mei: Yes, 5pm it is. Goodbye.
Mr. Santini: Ciao.
Jing-Mei hangs up and heads into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. She picks up her groceries and carries them into the kitchen. As she starts to put the groceries away, she hears a whimper. She turns to find Rascal in his bed, looking up at her. She walks over to him.
Jing-Mei: Hey, there pal. What's wrong? Rusty and Antonio will be home soon. You won't be lonely for long and you still have me. I'll play with you. Not the way Rusty plays with you, you should be grateful about that. I know he's a little rough at times but he means well. Believe me Rascal, you won't ever meet another little boy in the world that has a bigger heart or loves you more than he does. With Rusty around, you are having your first lesson in child-rearing. That will come in handy in a few weeks when you have your own little ones running around. Well, I know this is a conversation your papa Erik should be having with you, but he can't right now.....or can he?
Jing-Mei falls into deep thought until Rascal lifts his head up, barks and wags his tail.
Jing-Mei: Feeling better, buddy.
Jing-Mei starts scratching Rascal's ears.
Jing-Mei: Hey! I have something here for my hero.
Jing-Mei reaches into her grocery bag and pulls out a large rawhide bone. Instantly, Rascal jumps to his feet and grabs it off Jing-Mei almost taking her hand with it. He holds it in his mouth and looks up at Jing-Mei.
Jing-Mei: Go ahead. Enjoy. You certainly deserve it.
Jing-Mei continues to put the groceries away.
Jing-Mei arrives for her shift at the ER. Before she gets as far as the admit desk she is approached by Kerry.
Kerry: Jing-Mei, can I talk to you?
Jing-Mei: Sure. Let me just sign in.
Kerry: I'll meet you in the lounge.
A couple of minutes later and Jing-Mei enters the lounge. The lounge is unusually empty except Kerry.
Kerry: Please sit down.
Jing-Mei: Alright, why do I think this isn't good news.
Kerry: It isn't. There's no easy way to tell you this.
Jing-Mei: Just say it.
Kerry: I went up to the hospital employee benefit coordinator and explained to them about your problem.
Jing-Mei(nervously): You didn't tell them about Erik?
Kerry: Oh no. I didn't release any names or pertinent information. I sort of phrased it in a hypothetical situation and...
Jing-Mei: And they said, "tough luck", right.
Kerry: Not in those words but they said because the patient's condition is pre-existing that there was no insurance that would cover it. Not at least as far as they knew. Sorry.
Jing-Mei: That's okay. I know you did everything you could. Thanks anyway.
Kerry: If there's anything else I can do, let me know.
Jing-Mei: I will. (pause) I had better go see some patients.
Kerry and Jing-Mei leave the lounge and as Jing-Mei goes to check out the board, she runs into Carter.
Carter: Hi Deb. Do you have a minute?
Jing-Mei: Sure. Uh, Jerry what's free?
Jerry: Curtain three.
Carter and Deb walk into Curtain three and pull the curtain over for privacy.
Jing-Mei: What's this all about, John?
Carter: Have you had a chance to talk to Kerry about, you know...
Jing-Mei: Yes. I just came from speaking with her. She didn't have any luck with the benefits coordinator. I guess I'll have to go to an outside insurance although she's probably right. No insurance company is going to want to cover someone with a pre-existing condition and even if they do then there's the matter of filling them in on our private details.
Carter: You may not have to. I spoke with Gamma last night about your dilemma.
Jing-Mei: You told her about Erik.
Carter: I had to. She's not going to let anyone know. She can be as sneaky along with the rest of us. Anyway, she decided to start a trust fund for Erik.
Jing-Mei: Trust fund?
Carter: Yeah, when his insurance stops paying then I'll arrange for the hospital to send the bills to the trust fund which will be set up to pay them.
Jing-Mei: That is very generous of you and your grandmother, but we can't accept it.
Carter: It's done and there's nothing you can do about it. Gamma has her mind set on it and I learned a long time ago to never argue with her if you value your personal parts.
Jing-Mei: Erik isn't related to her, why would she want to do this for a perfect stranger.
Carter: Maybe because she feels the same way that I do. That we are totally indebted to Mal...Erik for what he did.
Jing-Mei: Tell her I said thank you and we will pay every cent back. I would have paid Erik's bills myself, but I don't have access to our family's money without my parents permission and they will never agree to help Erik out.
Carter: They don't like Erik?
Jing-Mei: They've never even met him or his sons. They won't have anything to do with those---pardon my language---wops. They won't even acknowledge Antonio as their grandson because he's half Italian. Racist bastards.
Carter: Those are your parents, after all.
Jing-Mei: I don't mean any disrespect but I grew up with people hating me because I was Chinese and I decided a long time ago that when I brought children into this world that they would learn to hate a person because of something they did, not because of the color of their skin, the sound of their voice, the money in their pockets, what they can or can't do or where they come from. If my parents don't want to be part of my children or husband's lives then it's their loss. They are the ones missing out on it. Besides, I don't want them near two little boys and pushing their prejudices on them.
Carter: I always knew you were better than to act that way---like your parents.
Jing-Mei: Can't blame me for growing up with some ethics and values.
Hearing Kerry start to crutch up the hall, the two doctors quickly slip out from behind Curtain three and go back to work.
At about quarter after four, Jing-Mei stopped by the admit desk to drop off a chart when she spotted Mr. Santini sitting in chairs. She told Jerry that she was taking her dinner break and then went over and met with Mr. Santini. The two went up to Dr. Legaspi's office. She asked them in, Jing-Mei made the introductions and they took their seats.
Dr. Legaspi: Did Dr. Chen have a chance to fill you in on Erik's condition?
Mr. Santini: I know that he refuses to speak so that's why you need to talk to me.
Dr. Legaspi: Right. I need you to fill in some of the missing gaps of Erik's past.
Mr. Santini: As I told Dr. Chen, I would help Erik in anyway but I'm really not sure how much help I will be.
Dr. Legaspi: We'll see. Mr. Santini, I know that Erik has a history of abuse at the hands of his father. What else can you tell me about his relationship with his father?
Mr. Santini: They didn't have a relationship. Erik wasn't his father's son---he was his property. According to my niece, when Erik was born he had heroine in his system.
Jing-Mei: That would account for Erik's low birth weight.
Dr. Legaspi: And the numerous medical problems he had in his childhood, that I read about in his medical files.
Mr. Santini: You've seen his medical records when he was a boy.
Jing-Mei: When Erik was first attacked, Sophie sent over his records from Italy--fully translated into English. Dr. Legaspi looked them over before she decided to take Erik on as a patient.
Dr. Legaspi: Needed to know what I was getting myself into. Please continue, Mr. Santini.
Mr. Santini: I don't know for sure, only speculation, but I believe his father not only supplied Erik's drug addiction but encouraged it.
Dr. Legaspi: How do you mean "encouraged it"?
Mr. Santini: When I came up an checked in on him, I noticed numerous needle marks all over his body. I did ask his father about them and he handed me this half-ass story about them being from the IV'S that were put in him when he was in the hospital and then he told me mind my own business if I knew what was good for me. So, I backed away as did everyone at the hospital when Erik was routinely brought in.
Dr. Legaspi: So, you're saying that Erik was a heroine baby and his father would continue to administer the drugs to him even after he was born.
Mr. Santini: Something like that.
Jing-Mei: If Erik was that badly addicted to the heroine, he obviously needed a daily fix in order to get through a day. If that was the case, instead of getting Erik medical help for his addiction, he kept him going by giving him what is body was craving. Did Erik's father think he was helping his son?
Mr. Santini: Vincenzio Malucci never did one damn thing in his life to help that boy. Believe me, Vincenzio wasn't giving Erik a fix to keep him alive---he was doing it to keep himself and his clientele alive.
Jing-Mei: You lost me now.
Mr. Santini: Let me tell you a little about Vincenzio. He never helped anyone but himself. That being said, Vincenzio had one goal in his mind---to please his customers.
Dr. Legaspi: His drug customers, I assume you mean.
Mr. Santini: Right. I don't know how much Erik told you about his father and "the family business" before he got sick, Dr. Chen.
Jing-Mei: Erik said that his father had mob connections and from the power and influence he had over that whole city, I would imagine he was pretty high in the food chain, so to speak.
Mr. Santini: Not high---he was top dog. And, it wasn't mob connections it was the actual Sicilian Mafia. The one thing that Vincenzio stressed that all his customers---new and regulars---were kept happy. If they got the proper product for the money they spent, then they would be back for more. If they didn't than they wouldn't come back, not on their own, anyway. As a rule, he kept them satisfied by giving the best product he could get his hands on. Nowadays, junkies have a way of making sure that their product was just right. Back in the day, Vincenzio had his own personal method to make sure the drugs were perfect before he or his clientele put them in his system---that's where Erik came in.
Jing-Mei(in shock): Oh god!! He tested the drugs out on Erik!
Mr. Santini(nodding): Exactly. Vincenzio's only purpose for keeping Erik alive was to test his drugs out on. Once he administered them to Erik---either orally or through a syringe and they worked their way in his system, which didn't take very long--a minute or so, and if Erik didn't convulse, throw them back up or die than Vincenzio knew that the product was pure and safe for him and his customers to take.
Dr. Legaspi: That sick bastard.
Jing-Mei: Jesus!! Erik wasn't his son---he was his lab rat.
Mr. Santini: And when he wasn't being used as a lab rat, he became Vincenzio's living, breathing, walking or in Erik's case crawling, talking punching bag.
Dr. Legaspi: What did you mean in Erik's case crawling? Erik had this done to him since he was a baby. Babies crawl---but I think you meant it in another way.
Mr. Santini: As I said, Erik was very undersized and underweight for a child his age. He was very fragile. He didn't get out of his crib very often, so he didn't exercise his legs much. What I'm trying to say is, Erik didn't started walking until he was a little over 18 months old.
Jing-Mei: That's late. Antonio isn't even a year yet and he's already taken some steps.
Mr. Santini: The few times I did see Erik outside his crib in the apartment, he would crawl around the floor, dragging his weakened legs behind him. He couldn't even stand on his feet because they would shake from underneath him and they were so thin that if he fell they would snap in two. Even his speech came later. He didn't start making real words until right before he was four years old.
Dr. Legaspi: He was mute?
Mr. Santini: Not mute, exactly. He made sounds but nothing audible. My wife and I and the people at the hospital thought that he was retarded but as it turned out he was just develop-mentally slower.
Jing-Mei: Is there really a difference between the two?
Mr. Santini: I didn't think so, but my niece said that Erik had the potential to learn and be taught, as with a retarded child they only can learn so much and go so far. In his pre-teen years, things came slower to him than they would another child his age. Erik could learn anything just not as fast as a healthy child. We learned later that he had some brain damage--postbirth--but he was smart--very smart.
Jing-Mei: He had to be to make it through medical school.
Dr. Legaspi: Was Nicholas develop-mentally slower, too?
Mr. Santini froze in his seat. He really didn't expect that question to be thrown at him. He didn't know how to answer it. Mr. Santini started nervously fidgeting with his fingers and sweating.
Mr. Santini: Nicholas? I thought we were talking about Erik?
Dr. Legaspi: We are but I think that his twin's death has a lot to do with Erik's present state of mind.
Mr. Santini: Why would you think that?
Dr. Legaspi: Because Erik has never acted out during one of our sessions---until I mentioned the name Nicholas to him.
Mr. Santini darted his eyes at Jing-Mei, who felt extremely uncomfortable at the moment.
Mr. Santini: I warned you, Dr. Chen, that that was a forbidden topic. You should have just left it buried in the past. Talk about Nicholas can't do any good, just bad.
Jing-Mei: I know what you said when you first told us about Nicholas, but I just got this feeling that Erik is hiding behind his dead twin and he needs to come out from there to get on with his life.
Dr. Legaspi: I agree with Dr. Chen. Nicholas is the final brick in the wall that Erik has built around himself. Once we connect with that brick and break away at it, then Erik's entire wall will collapse and crumple and then we can get into the essence of Erik and his behavior.
Jing-Mei: I want to know why Erik acted the way he did. I mean, I know a little about why but I need to know everything if I'm going to be part of his life forever. If he develops problems later, I need to know what I'm dealing with and how I can help him.
Mr. Santini starts rubbing the back of his neck and shaking his head.
Mr. Santini: Dr. Chen, I know I said I would help Erik in anyway that I can, but I just can't talk about Nicholas. I'm sorry---very sorry.
Both doctors sigh in disappointment, until Dr. Legaspi gets an idea.
Dr. Legaspi: Mr. Santini, come with me.
Jing-Mei and Mr. Santini got up and followed Dr. Legaspi into Erik's room. She pointed to Erik in his bed. The trio walked over to him. Mr. Santini looked down on the motionless, staring Erik. Mr. Santini bent down to speak with Erik.
Mr. Santini: Hey buddy. How are you feeling? It's been a long time. (pause) You look better than you did the last time I saw you.
Mr. Santini nervously looked at the two female doctors than back at Erik.
Mr. Santini: So, what's this I hear about you giving these two pretty doctors so much trouble. As I recall, you use to treat women as sex objects but you still had respect for them. How could you treat them bad? It's not in your nature. What's going on with you?
Mr. Santini walks to the other side of the room with the doctors.
Mr. Santini: What is going on with him? Why won't he talk to me, or even look at me. Why is he tied down?
Dr. Legaspi: That's the result of what happened after I mentioned Nicholas to him. He shut the world out around him and enclosed himself into a world all his own. He won't let anyone in. As far as being restrained, we had to after he attacked me and our chief of staff.
Jing-Mei: Please Mr. Santini. Erik needs our help and you are the only one who can help him at this time. We need to get him back and soon. The longer he's like this the less chance he has of coming back to reality and getting well. I don't mean to use my children but to make my point and to show you how desperate I am, I will. What do think it's going to be like for those boys when they get older and come to visit Erik and he doesn't acknowledge them. How am I going to convince them that it's not because Erik hates them, it's because he has psychological problems that were never worked out?
Mr. Santini looks back at Erik still totally unresponsive, then he turns to face the doctors with tears in his eyes.
Mr. Santini: Okay, I'll tell what I know.
Jing-Mei: Thank you, Mr. Santini.
The threesome walk back into Dr. Legaspi's office and take their seats.
Mr. Santini: I don't really know what I can say to enlighten the subject. To be truthful, I hardly knew Nicholas. I guess I was closer to Erik than I was to him. In fact, I rarely ever saw the twins together. When I went up into their apartment and cared for the twins, like changing their diapers, feeding and bathing them--it always appeared to me that Erik was the one who really needed my attention. He was shaken in his crib, crying to the top of his lungs, and malnourished. Most of the time when I was in the apartment, Nicholas would be in the living room in a corner quietly playing with old toys I gave the twins that my daughter didn't play with anymore. Erik was no where in sight. I'd find him in his crib--high or drunk from the liquor that his parents filled his bottle with to pacify his screams and crying.
Dr. Legaspi: How did you know it was Nicholas that you saw playing and not Erik.
Mr. Santini: The same way I knew that was Nicholas that Vincenzio carried out the day of the boy's death. Nicholas was of normal size for a two year old. Erik look like he was ten months at the most. Anyway, when the twins were together--it appeared that Nicholas respected his older-albeit weaker brother.
Dr. Legaspi: How do you mean respected him?
Mr. Santini: I don't know if that is the right word for it---maybe listened to Erik would be better. For example, when the twins were allowed to wander out on the floor, Erik would reach for the toys but he couldn't get to them fast enough because he wasn't able to walk like his brother. He would point to them and Nicholas would bring them. Also, when Erik would cry--Nicholas would come to him and comfort him. When Erik would get beaten or drugged, Nicholas would scream loudly as if he were trying to get help for his brother. Usually, when I witnessed Nicholas getting punished, which didn't happened very often--most of the time it was Erik getting punished, his father didn't know I was looking but I was, Erik would scream and throw a tantrum to get his father away from his younger brother and Vincenzio would beat Erik up to keep him quiet. Once he finished hitting Erik, than he would forget about going after Nicholas.
Jing-Mei: Erik would deliberately take Nicholas' beating.
Mr. Santini(nodding his head and wiping away his tears): Exactly. (pause) Sorry, I can't help you anymore. That's really all I know. I wish I could have been more of a help to you.
Dr. Legaspi: You did great. Thank you so much for talking with me.
Mr. Santini: Your welcome. Dr. Legaspi, you help that boy now?
Dr. Legaspi: I'll do what I can.
Mr. Santini and Jing-Mei leave Dr. Legaspi's office. Jing-Mei walks Mr. Santini to the entrance of the hospital thanking him the entire time.
At some point during the remainder of her shift, she is told that Antonio is being discharged later that night. After her shift is over, she heads home. There's a message on her answering machine. She listens to it. It's from Mrs. Peterson saying that she'll call back later. Jing-Mei grabs some clothes and a blanket for Antonio and then gets Rascal on his leash.
Jing-Mei(to Rascal): Okay boy. You and I are going to pick up our little guy and visit our big guy. You would like that, wouldn't you?
Rascal barks and wags his tail. Jing-Mei gets the enthusiastic dog in the car and drives to the hospital. She goes by the pediatrics ward and picks up Antonio and puts him in his stroller. She takes Rascal's leash and pushes the stroller to Erik's room. Once in she sets the brake on the stroller and takes Rascal over to see Erik.
Jing-Mei: Erik, look who I bought to visit you.
Unable to lift Rascal anymore, she pats Erik's bed indicating for Rascal to jump up. He puts his two front paws on the bed and starts panting. Although, Rascal starts licking his face, Erik remains unresponsive---to Jing-Mei's surprise.
Jing-Mei: Alright Rascal, get down and sit.
Rascal obeys and Jing-Mei sits by her husband. She holds his hand.
Jing-Mei: Erik, what is wrong with you? You usually respond to Rascal. I don't get it. You don't give anyone else a second glance but Rascal---Erik look, we all want you back, baby. (she starts stroking his forehead) Whatever you are keeping inside of yourself--whatever is so horrible that did this to you---we can't help unless we know what it is. I promise you baby, that no one is going to hurt you out here but you have to trust me. I'm going to take all that pain that you are in, away from you. You'll be safe, I guarantee it. Rascal wants you back. He misses being held, cuddled and stroked by you.
Jing-Mei waits for several minutes and when Erik still doesn't respond she gives up. She kisses his head and goes to pick up Rascal's leash when Antonio starts to cry. She puts the leash down and picks the baby up. She holds him in her arms and bounces him to calm him down. Then she hears a groan coming from Erik's direction. She nervously walks over to her shaking husband. His machines beep loudly and out of control. Dr. Legaspi pops into his room and approaches him.
Dr. Legaspi: I came back to look in on him and heard the monitors going off. Is he having another seizure?
Jing-Mei: I'm not sure. Shhh! Antonio, please be quiet. It'll be alright. Erik, what's wrong? What's happening to you?
Erik's right hand comes up to the limit of his restraint and with great effort makes a fist and then pulls one finger out of the fist and points at the screaming baby.
Jing-Mei: Antonio? What's wrong Erik? Is his crying hurting your ears?
Erik squeezes his eyes together very tightly and with his face covered in sweat and tears, he opens his mouth.
Erik: Nnnnicholas.
To be continued. Please read and review.