It was a Saturday in early January when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station in Hogsmeade. Hermione and Harry stepped off the train and started toward the waiting carriages. They were both happy to be returning to Hogwarts and the world in which they felt at home.

The last two weeks had been very tense for Hermione at home. Several times her parents had tried to dissuade her from her decision to attend a magical university. Several times her parents had failed. When Hermione kissed her parents goodbye at King's Cross, it was with a heavy heart. Crossing the barrier onto Platform 9 and ¾ was like stepping into her adulthood. She just wasn't quite sure what being an adult entailed.

She had been thrilled to see Harry sitting in their "usual" compartment. Students would be traveling back to the castle all weekend, and she had been afraid he would be returning the next day. Hermione spent the time on the train pouring out her heart to her best friend. While Harry didn't have the financial concerns that Hermione did, he was even more alone in the world. He had no family that he wanted to be associated with. His Godfather, whom had taken quite an interest in Harry when he was younger, was seldom seen since Voldemort was destroyed. Sirius had played a key part in the battle and was off reaping the rewards of his new-found celebrity status.

"C'mon now, Hermione, it's time to pull yourself together, Love. I can see the castle." Harry conjured up a wet cloth and handed it to his friend. "Wipe your tears. We're home now. Things will work out, for both of us. You'll see."

Hermione gave Harry a small smile as she tried, in vain, to wipe away the signs of her tears. They felt the train pull to a stop and made their way through the throng of students to the wooden platform. The carriages were first come, first serve and they quickly claimed one for themselves. No sooner were they seated than someone else threw wide the carriage door.

Draco Malfoy's eyes settled on Hermione and with his trademark sneer plastered on his face, he made to enter the small compartment. Harry was too quick, and with a shove Malfoy was sitting outside in the snow. "Bugger off Malfoy, you should have been faster."

The door was slammed and Harry took the seat across from Hermione. Again, the door was opened. Harry was instantly on his feet, clearly annoyed. "Damn it, I said sod….." He was met with a single raised eyebrow.

"You said what, Mr. Potter?" Hermione's heart gave a little jump as Severus' smooth voice floated into the compartment.

"Oh, ummm, nothing Professor Snape." Harry sat back down quickly. He couldn't hide the look of shock on his face as the Potions Master swung up and in, taking the seat next to Hermione.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Potter?"

"No, I'm sorry sir. I just thought you might be more comfortable with the Slytherins. Malfoy's coming in today."

Severus gave Harry a smug little half smile. "Yes, and after he cleaned the snow off his pants, he was forced into a carriage with 2 Hufflepuff third years. I'd rather sit here, thank you."

Harry found himself brushed off as the Professor turned his attention to Hermione. "I trust you had an enjoyable holiday, Miss Granger."

Hermione gave a little shrug. "It could have been better, Professor. But, thank you for asking. I'm surprised to see you at the station. I thought you were too busy to travel down from the castle."

Severus took note of her reddened eyes and slightly swollen nose with a heavy heart. He wanted to hear about her parent's reaction to her news, but it had to wait until they were alone. "I assure you, Miss Granger, I would not be in town, was it not necessary. I had to procure some supplies for Monday's start of term."

Harry was scowling at the two seated across from him. "So, will you be needing a hand getting your purchases into the castle?"

Severus turned cool eyes on the young wizard across from him. "I've had my packages delivered directly to the dungeons, Mr. Potter."

The rest of the ride was silent and tense. Harry got the feeling he was missing something, but for the life of him couldn't figure out what. In the days leading up to the final battle, Harry had learned a lot about Severus' life both as a Deatheater and as a Spy. His view of the Potions Master had changed drastically and he now had great respect for him. Because of this, Harry explained away the crackling air as his imagination.

When they arrived at the castle, Severus was the first one out of the carriage. With a nod in Hermione's direction, "Miss Granger," and a glance at Harry, "Potter," he was gone in a whirl of black.

Harry grimaced and in a low voice said to Hermione, "I know he's a great hero and all now, but, honestly, he's still a little odd."

Hermione was silent for a moment, looking at the floor. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she stepped out of the carriage. She turned around briefly, and looked up at her confidant of six and a half years, and smiled sadly. "I suppose, if the roles were reversed, we'd act a little odd, too." Hermione turned and started into the castle, leaving Harry to wonder whether it was just the cold air, or actual tears had been glittering in his friend's eyes.

It was shortly before the dinner hour when Hermione knocked on Severus' door. She blushed slightly at the look of surprise on Severus' face. Still, he stepped aside and motioned Hermione in.

Severus was unable to entirely restrain his smile, but he confined it to a quirk at the corners of his mouth. "Miss Granger, I thought our games would begin after the evening meal."

Hermione suddenly studied the pattern of the rug below her. "I thought perhaps we could share the meal here. I told Harry I was tired and going to lie down. I'm the only Gryffindor girl to return so far, so….." She looked to her Professor with hopeful eyes. There was a myriad of emotions playing through Severus' mind. Happiness, fear, and regret. Finally, he was resolved. He crossed the room in three long strides. Before he could change his mind, he threw a pinch of floo powder into the fireplace. The flames roared a bright green. "The Headmaster's office."

There was a moment's pause and the Headmaster answered, "Yes, Severus?"

"Albus, I've gotten tied up down here with a potion. I'm afraid I'll be missing dinner."

An amused laugh drifted out of the fireplace. "Don't worry, Severus. Only half the staff is here anyway. No one will give your absence a second thought. Enjoy your evening."

"Thank you, Albus." He turned back to Hermione as the flames returned to their normal, dancing colors, and smiled.

A short time later, they were seated on opposite ends of the long sofa, sharing a roast-beef sandwich. Hermione was oddly silent and Severus noted several times that she started to say something, only to clamp down and look elsewhere.

He set his plate on the table beside him. "Miss Granger, as enjoyable as your mere presence is, your silence is becoming somewhat disconcerting. Whatever it is you have to say, say it." He thought he was prepared for anything. But, he wasn't…

"Why did you follow Voldemort?"

Severus found he couldn't speak for several long moments. When finally he did discover his voice, it was scratchy and raw sounding. "You know, no one ever asked me that. At least no one was ever that forthright. Five points to Gryffindor for your bravery, Miss Granger."

Hermione smiled, but was silent. Severus chuckled grimly then nodded his head and continued. "Voldemort. He offered me freedom. I was a young child when the rumors started of a new Dark Lord rising. There were random acts of violence and murder. Witches, Wizards, even children. Everyone seemed a target. No one was quite sure whether it was the work of a psychopath or indeed, the darkness arising."

"The Snape family can trace its roots back more than 500 years. We have always been a powerful family in the wizarding world. I was the sole heir. Unfortunately, there are things that neither power, nor magic can fix. My mother went through hell and back to bring me into this world. And I ruined her for any other children." There was a pained bitterness in his voice and he stopped for a moment to compose himself.

Hermione scooted a bit closer to Severus and reached out to touch his arm. "I'm sorry, I had no right to ask.."

Severus stood up abruptly and moved to the fireplace. His posture stiffened and he turned on her, furious. "No, you didn't." Severus regretted his words before the shock of them had even registered on Hermione's face. Something inside him told him this was important. That he needed to tell her about his past. He forced himself to relax. "But since I've begun my tale, it's only fair that I finish it."

Soon, he was seated again at her side, a little closer to her than they had started out the evening. "My parents did everything to protect me. They went to extremes and my childhood was lonely. I very rarely saw anything of the world outside of the manor grounds. There were wards erected over the entire property. The wards refused admittance to anyone who was not 'approved.' These wards prohibited my leaving the property, unless my mother or father accompanied me. When the time came for me to begin my education here at Hogwarts, I was backward, awkward. I had spent my childhood buried in books, dreaming of far-away lands, learning of things I was sure I would never experience. But, I had no social skills and was uncomfortable in this new environment."

"My first friend was Lucius Malfoy. He was surprisingly kind and I soon became a protégé of sorts. He introduced me to his friends and showed me the 'ways of the world.' At least the ways of our small part of it."

Hermione had a hard time imagining that Lucius Malfoy had ever been kind, but kept her opinions to herself.

"I was never permitted to go into Hogsmeade like the other students. I had to sneak out, much like Potter in his third year. I could never visit with Lucius or any of the other students at their homes. On breaks and during the summer, I was, once again, restricted to the manor grounds. During our seventh year, Lucius returned from the winter holidays bursting with pride. He had met someone who promised him wonderous things. He wouldn't elaborate on these things, just said he would tell me later. He did tell me he could arrange a meeting of my own. Lucius had returned with several portkeys. We used the passageways under the castle to go into Hogsmeade and portkeyed out from there. That was the night I met Voldemort. He promised me freedom. I would have the freedom to come and go as I pleased. I would be able to live my life without my parents dictating where I went and what I did."

"He convinced me that they were not thinking of my safety, only of the safety of their fortune, of their bloodline. He pointed out to me, and rightly so, that I would be married off upon my graduation to an available witch with the proper social standing and expected to sire an heir. I would be studded out like a dog. I left that night with a more warped view of my family, of my world. I took the mark on my second meeting with him. At graduation I informed my parents I would not be returning with them to the manor. I also told them I had no intention of taking a bride of their choosing. That I was a man and could make my own decisions about my life. I also told them I was quite aware that upon my majority, which had been a month before, I now had access to a sizable portion of the family fortune. When my father, furiously backed me up against the wall, I shoved him to the ground. I pulled my sleeve up and showed my mark. I told him that I had a new family. My parents have never spoken to me since. "

Hermione was curious. "What did Voldemort promise Lucius?"

Snape smirked at this. "I discovered that soon. The movement quickly grew. The meetings became violent. Muggle torture, rape, unforgivables, I'm sure you know the things that went on. I participated when I had to. I had seen others refuse, and I had seen them die. During these meetings I realized there was a side to Lucius that I had never seen. He gloried in the violence, reveled in the blood and torture. He got off on the screams of the men and women as he raped them." He closed his eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. "It was during the autumn after graduation that I discovered what Lucius had been promised. He had been promised…. Me. Voldemort had promised me to Lucius, to be his alone. By this time I knew to disobey Voldemort meant death. I submitted that night. The fact that I was to be owned by Lucius didn't change his demeanor though, didn't make me anymore valuable to him. That night I experienced the same treatment the muggles did. I can still remember those icy eyes, boring into me as he…." Severus stopped here and raised terrified eyes to Hermione. He was ashamed at the words he had spoken. This was a part of his life he had never shared with anyone but Albus. "I didn't want that. I never wanted that."

Hermione nodded and reached out to grasp a cold hand. Severus took another deep breath and continued his tale.

"The only thing that made me different than the muggles was that I was to live. Lucius wanted me and he assured me that the night's events would be repeated over and over again. Neither Voldemort nor Lucius saw any reason to bind me or imprison me. They were sure that I would never seek to flee from them. They were wrong. I returned that night to Albus, broken and bleeding. He took me in and gave me a position here, a life. He protected me with his own magic until Voldemort was seemingly destroyed by Potter. He saw me through the hard times and stood beside me when others sought to destroy me. When it became clear that Voldemort had returned and was attempting to pull the Deatheaters back together, Albus approached me about becoming a spy for the order. I agreed and at Voldemort's call apparated to the feet of the Dark Lord. Only now, I was valuable to Voldemort, even more so than Lucius. I was close to the two biggest threats to The Dark Lord's reign, Albus and Potter. I returned to the fold, not as Lucius' pet, but as a key player in the war to come. I believe you know the rest of the story."

Severus noticed when the room grew warmer. He assumed it had something to do with the weight that seemed lifted from his soul.

Upstairs, though, Salazar Slytherin burst through the wall into the Headmaster's office. "Albus, he told her."

"What are you going on about, Salazar? Who told who what?"

The ghost flitted around the room excitedly. "The Granger girl. She asked him straight out, 'Why did you become a Deatheater,' or something like that. She has a lot of nerve, that one does. He told her everything. My Gods, Albus, he told her things I didn't even know. I had no idea…"

The spirit finally flopped down into a chair and sat stunned. "I realize I know very little about him."

The Headmaster nodded thoughtfully, "Most people know very little about our Potions Master. This is a good thing, him telling her. He's taken a big step, whether he realizes it or not."

In the dungeons, the conversation continued. Severus looked the young witch in the face, "That is my story. I offer no excuses for what I did. I only have regrets. Now, Miss Granger, what's your story? Did you speak with your parents over break?"

Hermione could see how frayed Severus' nerves had become and allowed the conversation to turn to her. "Yes, I spoke with them. It went exactly as I knew it would. They love me, they always will, but they can't support me in this 'foolish lifestyle.' My tuition is paid up until the end of the year. I have enough put aside to last until graduation. But, unless I can find a grant, or loan, or something, I will not be attending University in the fall. Perhaps I can work for a few years and save up. I'm going to speak with the Headmaster tomorrow and ask him to make some employment inquiries for me." Hermione tried to sound hopeful, but there was no light in her eyes.

Severus rose and crossed the room to the bookshelves. He removed the backgammon board and sat at the table. As he set the game up, he smiled. "I told you, Miss Granger. Things have a way of working out. After all, magic is all around us."

Hermione smiled and joined him at the table. "Three Point match, Professor?"

"No doubling."