The
final month of Hermione's seventh year passed in a blur. After she finished her
final NEWT, she sat near the lake, deep in thought. The weeks had been filled
with studying and preparation for her final step into adult life. Always on her
mind was the decision about her future, and intertwined into that was Severus.
The dying sun shone golden across the water, sparkling and rippling with life. Hermione wished her heart could dance like that. She knew that it should be. There was no doubt in her mind that the testing had gone well. Even though her last private contact with the Potions Master had been a sort of healing for them, things were far from being settled. The unrest in her heart kept her awake at night, as she knew it did Severus. Many early morning hours found her sitting at the dormitory window with a book in her lap. Her eyes didn't follow the words on her page. They followed the dark, lone figure tracing its way along the lakeshore. Pride kept her inside the tower. She was certain that had she visited him in the dark depths of the night that she would not be turned away. She wanted more though; more than what could be found hidden in the darkness. She wanted the days and the light, too. She wanted his life, his love, and his future. She wanted it all and until he was willing to give it, she would not bend.
Hermione was surprised she didn't hear his approach. She jumped slightly when
the dark fabric came into her peripheral view. Looking up at him, she could only
see darkness eclipsing the warm light. When he lowered himself to her level, she
saw the same warmth in his eyes. "Your Potions Newts were the highest this
year. Actually, you scores are the highest in many years." Hermione
frowned slightly, shrugged her shoulders, and returned her gaze to the water.
"I've forwarded them along to the Dean and I imagine you'll be receiving
your owl from the school soon."
"Are you still trying to map
out my life?"
"I'm just trying to assure that you have a life. Why do you insist on
fighting me in this? You know that I care about you and that I only want what is
best for you."
Hermione's eyes blazed as she turned on him. "Why do you insist I am
fighting against you? I'm fighting for you, you bloody stubborn, bat. What life
do you have? You spend your days hiding away in the dungeons and your nights
roaming the grounds. You spend your life alone. It doesn't have to be that way,
Severus. Why won't you let me in?" She refused the burning in her sinuses,
willed the tears not to reach her eyes. She had shed enough and she would not
show him anymore.
Severus' temper flared at her, met hers with the same strength. "I have let
you in. I let you in and you've made my life hell." He ignored the hurt on
her face. "I was perfectly happy spending my evenings alone. I was
perfectly happy not feeling. But, you changed all that. Every waking moment of
my life is now one giant ball of pain. I ache for you every second, Hermione. I
want to snatch you away and drag you down into my world and hold you there
forever."
"I would go, willingly. Take me there, Severus." Hermione moved closer
to him, her body unconsciously straining to close the distance. Her voice was
softer now, more pliable; filling his senses and turning them to muck. "It
doesn't have to be dark. I can show you life, as it should be; with a family,
and love, and happiness."
Severus groaned at this. His body had responded to her words and the invitation
that they carried. The fury was changing and Severus was hard pressed to resist
the mutation. Anger turned to lust and fists that were clenched in anger
unraveled and itched to reach for her. When he spoke, it was a struggle and the
sound was raspy. "Don't do this to me Hermione. I can't do this. Not
now." Even as he spoke the words, he was reaching for her, pulling her to
him. Inside, the basest man that he was screamed at him. Telling him the testing
was over and she was a student no more. He listened to the voice, as his hands
traced slow paths up and down Hermione's sides.
From windows far above them several sets of eyes were watching. Blue eyes
twinkled and a soft smile graced an old wizard's face.
In another area, noncorporal eyes watched as a haunting chuckle was heard.
"Finally, Snape. Got for it man! Don't blow it now. Oh, if only I had my
body back. I could show that chit a thing or too about Slytherin prowess."
In the grass, one body found another and Severus felt her pulse in her neck,
beating strongly beneath his questing lips. He could feel the heat of her, even
through their robes. Her hips were grinding upward, seeking out his, and
searching for some sort of friction. Finding none, she cried out in desperation.
One elegant hand snaked out, lifted the hem of her student robe and found the
velvety skin of her thighs.
The final set of eyes burned with hatred as they watched their Potions Master
giving in to his instincts. "Filthy, disgusting, Mudblood whore."
Hermione whimpered beneath him and her breathy gasps only fueled his fire.
Severus' head rose to look at the flushed face of the woman beneath him. The
hand on the back of his head brought his face to hers and she closed her eyes,
anticipating their first, sweet and needy, kiss.
Suddenly, the warmth of his body was torn from hers. Confused and dazed,
Hermione struggled to sit up. Severus' hands had moved from their exploration to
grasp her shoulders brutally. "Gods, Hermione! What are you doing to
me?" He struggled, fighting his lust and slowly regaining the part of him
that was honorable. "I can't do this. Not now, not here." The hurt on
her face caused his grip to soften. "Someday, but not now, the time isn't
right."
Once again, passions changed. Hermione was once again furious. She wrenched herself from his grasp and leapt to her feet. "Why do you insist on making my decisions for me?"
Severus' eyes closed and his hair fell like a curtain around his down turned
face. "No, Hermione, not for you. I'm making the decision for me."
All that met him was a sigh of disgust and the sound of her feet walking swiftly
back to the castle. From Gryffindor Tower a pair of green eyes watched with
shock.
It didn't take Harry long to find her. The library was empty. The
student's use of it for the year was now over. She sat in a corner, hidden by
the rows of books. He was surprised to see her eyes were dry. Harry wasn't sure
what all had been said by the lake, but the scene that had played out spoke
volumes. He had never seen his friend in that light. The thought of her being a
desirable woman was new to him and he found himself uncomfortable with the idea.
Hermione looked up as he approached and Harry didn't imagine the brief flash of
disappointment when she saw it was he. "Mmm, Hermione. I wasn't spying or
anything, but… well…
IsawyouandSnapeatthelake."
Hermione scoffed at him. "What of it, Harry?"
"Well, it just looked like you might need someone to talk to right now. You
know we've hardly talked at all this spring. I guess I know why now. I don't
understand though."
Hermione sighed and gestured to the seat beside her. "There's nothing to
understand. I can't explain it to you and I'm not even going to try. Yes, I love
him and yes, I think he loves me. Still, he pushes me away and insists on my
leaving him."
Harry took one of her hands in his. "Are you leaving him?"
Finally, the burning overtook her and the tears began to fall. Harry did the
only thing he could think of. He held his best friend until her sobs subsided.
Nothing felt different, she was still Hermione to him and he couldn't imagine
the appeal to the Potions Master. The thoughts were pushed away as Hermione
spoke; voice muffled a bit in his robes. "I don't know. I have until
tomorrow night to decide. I can stay here and teach or go on to University. The
scholarship is in place. I want to stay, but I can't be here and see him and not
be with him. Gods, I don't know. I can't even think any more."
Harry pushed her back gently and swept the hair from her face. With the sleeve
of his robe, he gently wiped the tears from her face. "Don't think about it
for a while, then. Go take a bath or something and clear your head. I still
can't say I understand any of this, but I know you need to relax."
Hermione nodded and smiled shyly. "See you at dinner?"
"See you at dinner."
Harry sat alone in the library for quite a while and tried to understand what he
had seen and heard that afternoon. He wasn't surprised when the Headmaster
joined him. "How is Miss Granger?"
Harry glared at the old wizard. "How do you think she is? A member of the
staff takes advantage of her? She's bloody well confused. So am I for that
matter. How could you let this happen?"
Albus smiled gently. "I let nothing happen. Things such as these happen on
their own. They have a life of their own. It's not up to you or me to understand
them or to approve of them. For the record, your friend has not been taken
advantage of. Professor Snape has acted honorably, despite the volatile emotions
that are surrounding both of them. All Hermione needs from you right now is
support. The fates will see their way no matter how hard the two of them fight.
The road for them may be short, or long and rocky. But, it's their road to
travel, together and apart."
Harry rolled his eyes. "Well, thank you Headmaster. That cleared everything
up for me."
"Sarcasm has never been your strong suit, Mr. Potter"
Later that evening, the Great Hall filled with happy students. The term was
almost complete. Graduation ceremonies were to be the next day, followed by the
Leaving feast.
Severus would have chosen to remain in his quarters that evening, but he knew
his presence was expected and had no desire to be summoned by the Headmaster
like an errant child. He chose to slip quietly into the Hall from the back door.
As he took his seat, his eyes scanned the throng of students. As the meal began,
he watched as Harry Potter left the Hall, a concerned look on his face. Hermione
wasn't present at the meal and Severus could only assume that the Potter boy was
going to seek her out. He returned a short time later and moved directly to the
Head Table and the seat of the Headmaster. Still, Hermione had not arrived.
Severus responded quickly when Albus motioned for him to join them. Harry was
highly agitated and spoke quickly. "Have you seen Hermione since this
afternoon at the lake?"
Severus' mouth gaped open but no words emerged. "Come off it, Snape. I saw
you, yes. But there are more important things at this second. I can't find
her."
"What do you mean you can't find her?" Severus' mind and mouth were
quickly engaged.
"I mean she's gone. Not in the common room, not in the library, not in the
dorm, not at the lake. She's gone and no one's seen her."
Severus quickly scanned the room, making mental notes as to what students were
present and what students were not. He felt his heart clench and his blood run
cold as his eyes settled on the Slytherin table.
Draco Malfoy and several other Slytherin students were missing.
