Author's Note: Well, I started this because every single time I see episode
19 I think I'm going to cry at the end. Van's pout, so cute...*sob* poor
Van. Anyway so I wrote this as an Alternate Universe to change what happens
after the bridge scene, just for my own personal pleasure, and possibly
yours :D. Hope you enjoy!!! REVIEW! JUST so I know who has read it!!!!!!
-Ashes
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne, or Van *drool* or any other characters I use. Though I wish *blah blah* anyway, don't sue me and such. Crazy dog eating chalk boards.
Through the Rainy Haze
Chapter# 1: Pains of a Young King
Van collapsed beneath a tree. He had no idea where he was, or how he would get back, but he didn't care. His breath was ragged and his wet ebony locks fell into his face. He could feel the moisture from the grass sinking into his knees and the rest of his body as he crumpled to a heap under the large canopy of leaves. But that didn't matter. He was already soaked. Nothing mattered now anyway. He wanted to scream. He wanted to rip out his hair. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs. He wanted to beat Allen Schezar into the ground. Yes, that's what he most wanted to do. He wanted to beat Allen to a pulp, wring out his neck, and break that horribly beautiful face.
Van sighed. What he really wanted was Hitomi. He wanted to scoop her up into his arms and hold her to him. To kiss her, to-
'Hitomi'.
Even the name hurt him to say. He loved her. His love for her was so amazing and so confusing and thrilling and scary it made him want to burst inside. But he could never share it with her. For she loved another. She didn't love him.
He had watched them on the bridge. Watched their lips meet. Watched as another man held his beloved. Watched as she was kissed by another man. All because he was such a coward. Van cringed at the remembrance. He had found her looking sad and forlorn by the fountain. How he had wanted to hold her then. Make her feel all right. His own pain was forgotten. How could he think about that when she, the one who brought him happiness, was in despair?
Van had decided then that he would tell her. He would finally tell her that he loved her. He drew up every last ounce of courage he had. It was amazing how he felt no fear in battle as Zaibach attacked him mercilessly, but when it came to her, he was terrified. Everything at that time had been going so well. She was relaxed. It was now or never. And he messed everything up. He just couldn't say it. The words got so jumbled up in his mouth. In his mind he was screaming 'I love you!' But it all came out so horribly wrong. He wanted her love. Not her power! But he had backed away at the last minute. He had tried to cover up what he had said. He wanted her to stay with him, away from Allen. But it was for a different reason then merely wanting her power. He could still hear the piscus hitting the ground and the sound of it echoing off through the mill. The impact of Hitomi's hand slapping against his face. The birds fleeing from outside. He touched his cheek. He had deserved it.
He had basically pushed her into the other man's arms for being so cowardly, awkward and inexperienced. All the things Allen Schezar, Knight of Caeli, was not. He was brave, and smooth, full of charisma. Never awkward in any way. And as for experience, who could count the number of women Allen had bedded! That thought made all of his rage return.
Allen was handsome, well-built, older, chivalrous, daring, courageous, intelligent, a talented swordsman, and well, perfect! And himself? Nothing compared to that. How would Hitomi ever even consider him when she had Allen?
'Hitomi'. Gods, how he loved her. His heart split in two remembering seeing her on the bridge with Allen. How worried he had been when he couldn't find her in the rain. In desperation he kept searching. And there he had found her. Already found. Van had felt it necessary to leave after stumbling on them in their intimate embrace. He didn't belong there. It was meant to be just them. That realization hit him hard. He didn't belong with Hitomi. Allen did. As this sunk in, Van felt himself pushing more into the wet ground. The wind was blowing, and leaves from the tree were being strewn across his body. Flower petals brushed by him in a daze, swirling around his form, then moving away, as if sensing he was not part of the same world as of that moment. He could see the sun setting on the horizon, how beautiful it was mixed with the wonderful scents of Asturia and its sea. But he did not feel the beauty.
Van had gone numb from the pain of everything that had happened recently. Losing Fanelia, his only home, Balgus, his only father figure, Folken reappearing after so many years of sadness to be his enemy. His only love not loving him. But nothing really mattered. All the pain, anger, confusion, and hurt melted into nothingness. A no-feeling. An emptiness. He felt like he could die right there. Gaea could swallow him whole and he wouldn't care, not really. All he cared about was-
"Van!" She cried running up the hill to the tree. And then there she was. In all her brilliance. Soaked from head to toe and panting, her eyes full of concern.
-"Hitomi".
A/N: yes I realize nothing has actually happened, considering the shortness of the chapter, but things will start to. Next chapter will just be insight into Hitomi's thoughts and emotions the same as this was for Van's. I feel they both need to be explained in full, according to how I imagine they might have been feeling. I'll probably post after a couple of reviews or something. UPDATING AFTER A COUPLE OF REVIEWS, just for those people who kind of skip over this and might have missed that. Anyway! Yay! r+r! (though you've probably already read...O.o) Oh, and yay! my beta! Cat a.k.a. SilverPrincess! Thanks bunches!
Disclaimer: I do not own Escaflowne, or Van *drool* or any other characters I use. Though I wish *blah blah* anyway, don't sue me and such. Crazy dog eating chalk boards.
Through the Rainy Haze
Chapter# 1: Pains of a Young King
Van collapsed beneath a tree. He had no idea where he was, or how he would get back, but he didn't care. His breath was ragged and his wet ebony locks fell into his face. He could feel the moisture from the grass sinking into his knees and the rest of his body as he crumpled to a heap under the large canopy of leaves. But that didn't matter. He was already soaked. Nothing mattered now anyway. He wanted to scream. He wanted to rip out his hair. He wanted to yell at the top of his lungs. He wanted to beat Allen Schezar into the ground. Yes, that's what he most wanted to do. He wanted to beat Allen to a pulp, wring out his neck, and break that horribly beautiful face.
Van sighed. What he really wanted was Hitomi. He wanted to scoop her up into his arms and hold her to him. To kiss her, to-
'Hitomi'.
Even the name hurt him to say. He loved her. His love for her was so amazing and so confusing and thrilling and scary it made him want to burst inside. But he could never share it with her. For she loved another. She didn't love him.
He had watched them on the bridge. Watched their lips meet. Watched as another man held his beloved. Watched as she was kissed by another man. All because he was such a coward. Van cringed at the remembrance. He had found her looking sad and forlorn by the fountain. How he had wanted to hold her then. Make her feel all right. His own pain was forgotten. How could he think about that when she, the one who brought him happiness, was in despair?
Van had decided then that he would tell her. He would finally tell her that he loved her. He drew up every last ounce of courage he had. It was amazing how he felt no fear in battle as Zaibach attacked him mercilessly, but when it came to her, he was terrified. Everything at that time had been going so well. She was relaxed. It was now or never. And he messed everything up. He just couldn't say it. The words got so jumbled up in his mouth. In his mind he was screaming 'I love you!' But it all came out so horribly wrong. He wanted her love. Not her power! But he had backed away at the last minute. He had tried to cover up what he had said. He wanted her to stay with him, away from Allen. But it was for a different reason then merely wanting her power. He could still hear the piscus hitting the ground and the sound of it echoing off through the mill. The impact of Hitomi's hand slapping against his face. The birds fleeing from outside. He touched his cheek. He had deserved it.
He had basically pushed her into the other man's arms for being so cowardly, awkward and inexperienced. All the things Allen Schezar, Knight of Caeli, was not. He was brave, and smooth, full of charisma. Never awkward in any way. And as for experience, who could count the number of women Allen had bedded! That thought made all of his rage return.
Allen was handsome, well-built, older, chivalrous, daring, courageous, intelligent, a talented swordsman, and well, perfect! And himself? Nothing compared to that. How would Hitomi ever even consider him when she had Allen?
'Hitomi'. Gods, how he loved her. His heart split in two remembering seeing her on the bridge with Allen. How worried he had been when he couldn't find her in the rain. In desperation he kept searching. And there he had found her. Already found. Van had felt it necessary to leave after stumbling on them in their intimate embrace. He didn't belong there. It was meant to be just them. That realization hit him hard. He didn't belong with Hitomi. Allen did. As this sunk in, Van felt himself pushing more into the wet ground. The wind was blowing, and leaves from the tree were being strewn across his body. Flower petals brushed by him in a daze, swirling around his form, then moving away, as if sensing he was not part of the same world as of that moment. He could see the sun setting on the horizon, how beautiful it was mixed with the wonderful scents of Asturia and its sea. But he did not feel the beauty.
Van had gone numb from the pain of everything that had happened recently. Losing Fanelia, his only home, Balgus, his only father figure, Folken reappearing after so many years of sadness to be his enemy. His only love not loving him. But nothing really mattered. All the pain, anger, confusion, and hurt melted into nothingness. A no-feeling. An emptiness. He felt like he could die right there. Gaea could swallow him whole and he wouldn't care, not really. All he cared about was-
"Van!" She cried running up the hill to the tree. And then there she was. In all her brilliance. Soaked from head to toe and panting, her eyes full of concern.
-"Hitomi".
A/N: yes I realize nothing has actually happened, considering the shortness of the chapter, but things will start to. Next chapter will just be insight into Hitomi's thoughts and emotions the same as this was for Van's. I feel they both need to be explained in full, according to how I imagine they might have been feeling. I'll probably post after a couple of reviews or something. UPDATING AFTER A COUPLE OF REVIEWS, just for those people who kind of skip over this and might have missed that. Anyway! Yay! r+r! (though you've probably already read...O.o) Oh, and yay! my beta! Cat a.k.a. SilverPrincess! Thanks bunches!