author: Lucinda
rating: pg/pg 13
pairing: Faith/Bill Weasley
story 8 in 'Take a Chance' series
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to any characters from Buffy/Angel or to any characters from the Harry Potter books.
distribution: TNL, Twisting the Hellmouth, Paula, anyone else just ask.
notes: probably AU-ish for Faith, set roughly season 3 A:tS/s7 BtVS, post book 4 HP, OoTP did not happen.
Faith found herself smiling as she prepared to go out. Granted, things would probably be pretty quiet, but she wanted to do a quick patrol anyhow, just to be sure. Bill's parents were great, and so was his little sister. She wasn't quite sure about the twins, but they were definitely interesting. His whole family just seemed so... real, so well, not quite normal, but pretty grounded in things.
Her favorite stake wasn't quite where she'd left it, but maybe it had just been bumped by one of the many people in and out of the place all the time? Did it feel a bit smoother than it should? No, she must just still have some of that lotion on her hands. It was a magical lotion that changed it's scent for each person.
She was smiling as she made her way out. The countryside was pretty, the air smelled good, even if it was cooler than California. It reminded her of Boston, actually.
It was definitely quieter than Sunnydale. A pair of scurrying pests, not worth killing, and a big swooping bat-like thing were the only things for the first half. She was slowly making her way back to the Burrow when she felt the vampires. Two of them, not too old. Probably minions. With a smile, she closed in on them.
The shorter one was more alert, and spun around as she was bringing her stake down on his torso. With a slight twanging noise, the stake transformed itself into a rubber chicken, which sort of squashed against the vampire's chest, causing both of them to blink for a moment in bafflement. The vampire recovered, sending his fist towards her face with an angry growl. Swearing, Faith blocked, part of her mind trying to figure out why her stake had turned into a rubber chicken. Most of her attention was on this fight, which was suddenly a lot more difficult with the absence of a stake.
In the end, she kicked one of them against this nasty looking tree with thorns everywhere. Even the thorns had thorns. With a scream, the vampire crumbled to dust. That left the shorter one, who was also a bit more agile. She ended up clubbing him with the chicken, rendering him unconscious long enough to find a knife and decapitate him.
By that point, the dots had connected in her mind. It had to be Fred and George. She had no idea how, but it sounded just like the sort of thing they'd do.
She was going to kill them. Slowly.
The rest of the trip back was uneventful, allowing her to fume about the indignity of the stake-chicken thing. It could only be explained by magic. And it had nearly gotten her killed. A dozen painful deaths for George and Fred flashed through her mind. She could do it, and maybe easily. Just break the wands, and they wouldn't be able to work the magic...
Well, maybe she shouldn't really kill Bill's brothers. It might... would probably upset him, and his parents. But that didn't mean she couldn't threaten them a little, put a little fear of Faith into them...
There was the Burrow, all baffling architecture, and cheerful smoke, and the smell of something cooking that would taste delicious. It felt like home. And she was just certain that Fred and George would be inside. She slipped into the house quietly, knowing that no matter how satisfying it could be to kick down a door, not only would they be alerted and have the chance to get away, Molly would be very unhappy.
Stalking across the house, she spotted one of the twins. She wasn't certain which one, but it didn't really matter right now. She grabbed him by the front of his hand knit sweater, lifting him from the floor to slam into the wall. Lifting the former stake turned chicken, she practically growled at him. "What's the meaning of this?"
He made a few noises that might have made a bit more sense if he wasn't being half choked by the sweater, gesturing frantically to please put him down. "I.... but... jkkkk..."
Faith glared at him, every bruise and scrape from those vampires aching, including the extremely painful feeling bruise blooming over her cheekbone. She wasn't certain, but thought the skin had been broken there as well. "How in hell am I supposed to kill a vampire with a rubber chicken?!? There was a reason I had a wooden stake."
"Vampires?" The voice had a nervous edge to it. "Why were you hunting vampires with a defective wand?"
Faith turned slightly, glaring at the other twin. "It isn't a magic wand. It's a wooden stake, much more solid than a wand."
"Why would you go looking for vampires?" The words emerged from the twin that she was holding, who had wiggled and squirmed enough that he could once again breathe.
"Because I'm the Slayer, that's why." She glared at him, before turning her head slightly to glare at the other one. "And I think you two ought to have to try to kill a vampire with a rubber chicken."
"Oh my God..." The one she was holding turned a rather odd pale shade, his eyes getting very big. The last word came out with a high pitched squeak. "Sorry?"
"Faith, sweetie.... are you... no, scratch that. Drop Fred and we can get those bruises fixed up" Bill looked worried, his finger hovering near but not quite touching her cheek.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George." The still dangling twin mumbled.
Faith shrugged slightly, dropping him. "Going to kiss it and make it all better?"
"Mum, when did Bill get a girlfriend?" An unfamiliar voice spoke up, sounding about fourteen and caught between awe and worry.
Faith glanced over, seeing a boy of fourteen or fifteen that could only be another Weasley, another boy of the same age with wild black hair and a pair of glasses, dressed in the most hideously unappealing baggy clothing she'd ever seen, and a girl of the same age with a mane of brown curls. All three of them were staring at the scene with wide eyes. Faith could feel herself growing warm, terribly embarrassed about the unexpected audience. "umm... Bill? Who...?"
"My youngest brother Ron, and his friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter." Bill gave her a gentle one armed hug, trying not to hurt any bruises. "This is my girlfriend Faith."
Hermione spoke first. "I've read a bit about Slayers - aren't they supposed to remain a bit isolated?"
Faith leaned against Bill, feeling a bit worried. "Well... I'm a non-traditionalist. The Watcher's Council hasn't done very well by me, so I basically ignore them and their rules."
"Whoa. That's sort of impressive. And did you realize that his feet weren't even touching the floor?" Ron looked impressed now, eyes gleaming with questions and concern.
"I was sort of upset that my stake turned into a chicken right as it hit the vamp's chest. For future reference, slapping a vampire in the chest with a rubber chicken does not kill them. It just confuses them for a moment before they get mad as hell." Faith sighed.
"Faith, dear, come over here and we can get you fixed up. Arthur, you can have a few words with the boys again about those joke wands of theirs."
Molly's maternal domination worked wonders, and Faith soon found herself on a chair, having some strange pale yellow ointment dabbed over her scrapes, while something a sort of opaque light green was rubbed over her bruises by Bill.
"Don't worry, they're very impressed." Bill leaned over, whispering the words into Faith's ear. "And I really don't think Fred and George with try anything against you again. You have them both terrified."
Faith just gave a small smile. "Goody. Rubber chickens are not intended as a weapon. Remind me to take a good sharp dagger with me next time."
Bill just smiled, giving her a quick kiss, cutting things shorter due to the many watchful eyes on them. "Maybe I should just go with you?"
"Only if you want to, sugar." Faith smiled, her eyes slowly moving over him. She could deal with having her boyfriend with her after slaying.
"Maybe I'd like that." He smiled back, ignoring the worried noises from his mother.
"Just try not to let either of you get killed, hmmm?" Molly looked at them, and then sighed. "Just… go rest, you two."
Bill took Faith's hand, winking at her before saying in a reasonable voice. "Of course, mother."
End Jokers Wild.
rating: pg/pg 13
pairing: Faith/Bill Weasley
story 8 in 'Take a Chance' series
disclaimer: I hold no legal rights to any characters from Buffy/Angel or to any characters from the Harry Potter books.
distribution: TNL, Twisting the Hellmouth, Paula, anyone else just ask.
notes: probably AU-ish for Faith, set roughly season 3 A:tS/s7 BtVS, post book 4 HP, OoTP did not happen.
Faith found herself smiling as she prepared to go out. Granted, things would probably be pretty quiet, but she wanted to do a quick patrol anyhow, just to be sure. Bill's parents were great, and so was his little sister. She wasn't quite sure about the twins, but they were definitely interesting. His whole family just seemed so... real, so well, not quite normal, but pretty grounded in things.
Her favorite stake wasn't quite where she'd left it, but maybe it had just been bumped by one of the many people in and out of the place all the time? Did it feel a bit smoother than it should? No, she must just still have some of that lotion on her hands. It was a magical lotion that changed it's scent for each person.
She was smiling as she made her way out. The countryside was pretty, the air smelled good, even if it was cooler than California. It reminded her of Boston, actually.
It was definitely quieter than Sunnydale. A pair of scurrying pests, not worth killing, and a big swooping bat-like thing were the only things for the first half. She was slowly making her way back to the Burrow when she felt the vampires. Two of them, not too old. Probably minions. With a smile, she closed in on them.
The shorter one was more alert, and spun around as she was bringing her stake down on his torso. With a slight twanging noise, the stake transformed itself into a rubber chicken, which sort of squashed against the vampire's chest, causing both of them to blink for a moment in bafflement. The vampire recovered, sending his fist towards her face with an angry growl. Swearing, Faith blocked, part of her mind trying to figure out why her stake had turned into a rubber chicken. Most of her attention was on this fight, which was suddenly a lot more difficult with the absence of a stake.
In the end, she kicked one of them against this nasty looking tree with thorns everywhere. Even the thorns had thorns. With a scream, the vampire crumbled to dust. That left the shorter one, who was also a bit more agile. She ended up clubbing him with the chicken, rendering him unconscious long enough to find a knife and decapitate him.
By that point, the dots had connected in her mind. It had to be Fred and George. She had no idea how, but it sounded just like the sort of thing they'd do.
She was going to kill them. Slowly.
The rest of the trip back was uneventful, allowing her to fume about the indignity of the stake-chicken thing. It could only be explained by magic. And it had nearly gotten her killed. A dozen painful deaths for George and Fred flashed through her mind. She could do it, and maybe easily. Just break the wands, and they wouldn't be able to work the magic...
Well, maybe she shouldn't really kill Bill's brothers. It might... would probably upset him, and his parents. But that didn't mean she couldn't threaten them a little, put a little fear of Faith into them...
There was the Burrow, all baffling architecture, and cheerful smoke, and the smell of something cooking that would taste delicious. It felt like home. And she was just certain that Fred and George would be inside. She slipped into the house quietly, knowing that no matter how satisfying it could be to kick down a door, not only would they be alerted and have the chance to get away, Molly would be very unhappy.
Stalking across the house, she spotted one of the twins. She wasn't certain which one, but it didn't really matter right now. She grabbed him by the front of his hand knit sweater, lifting him from the floor to slam into the wall. Lifting the former stake turned chicken, she practically growled at him. "What's the meaning of this?"
He made a few noises that might have made a bit more sense if he wasn't being half choked by the sweater, gesturing frantically to please put him down. "I.... but... jkkkk..."
Faith glared at him, every bruise and scrape from those vampires aching, including the extremely painful feeling bruise blooming over her cheekbone. She wasn't certain, but thought the skin had been broken there as well. "How in hell am I supposed to kill a vampire with a rubber chicken?!? There was a reason I had a wooden stake."
"Vampires?" The voice had a nervous edge to it. "Why were you hunting vampires with a defective wand?"
Faith turned slightly, glaring at the other twin. "It isn't a magic wand. It's a wooden stake, much more solid than a wand."
"Why would you go looking for vampires?" The words emerged from the twin that she was holding, who had wiggled and squirmed enough that he could once again breathe.
"Because I'm the Slayer, that's why." She glared at him, before turning her head slightly to glare at the other one. "And I think you two ought to have to try to kill a vampire with a rubber chicken."
"Oh my God..." The one she was holding turned a rather odd pale shade, his eyes getting very big. The last word came out with a high pitched squeak. "Sorry?"
"Faith, sweetie.... are you... no, scratch that. Drop Fred and we can get those bruises fixed up" Bill looked worried, his finger hovering near but not quite touching her cheek.
"I'm not Fred, I'm George." The still dangling twin mumbled.
Faith shrugged slightly, dropping him. "Going to kiss it and make it all better?"
"Mum, when did Bill get a girlfriend?" An unfamiliar voice spoke up, sounding about fourteen and caught between awe and worry.
Faith glanced over, seeing a boy of fourteen or fifteen that could only be another Weasley, another boy of the same age with wild black hair and a pair of glasses, dressed in the most hideously unappealing baggy clothing she'd ever seen, and a girl of the same age with a mane of brown curls. All three of them were staring at the scene with wide eyes. Faith could feel herself growing warm, terribly embarrassed about the unexpected audience. "umm... Bill? Who...?"
"My youngest brother Ron, and his friends Hermione Granger and Harry Potter." Bill gave her a gentle one armed hug, trying not to hurt any bruises. "This is my girlfriend Faith."
Hermione spoke first. "I've read a bit about Slayers - aren't they supposed to remain a bit isolated?"
Faith leaned against Bill, feeling a bit worried. "Well... I'm a non-traditionalist. The Watcher's Council hasn't done very well by me, so I basically ignore them and their rules."
"Whoa. That's sort of impressive. And did you realize that his feet weren't even touching the floor?" Ron looked impressed now, eyes gleaming with questions and concern.
"I was sort of upset that my stake turned into a chicken right as it hit the vamp's chest. For future reference, slapping a vampire in the chest with a rubber chicken does not kill them. It just confuses them for a moment before they get mad as hell." Faith sighed.
"Faith, dear, come over here and we can get you fixed up. Arthur, you can have a few words with the boys again about those joke wands of theirs."
Molly's maternal domination worked wonders, and Faith soon found herself on a chair, having some strange pale yellow ointment dabbed over her scrapes, while something a sort of opaque light green was rubbed over her bruises by Bill.
"Don't worry, they're very impressed." Bill leaned over, whispering the words into Faith's ear. "And I really don't think Fred and George with try anything against you again. You have them both terrified."
Faith just gave a small smile. "Goody. Rubber chickens are not intended as a weapon. Remind me to take a good sharp dagger with me next time."
Bill just smiled, giving her a quick kiss, cutting things shorter due to the many watchful eyes on them. "Maybe I should just go with you?"
"Only if you want to, sugar." Faith smiled, her eyes slowly moving over him. She could deal with having her boyfriend with her after slaying.
"Maybe I'd like that." He smiled back, ignoring the worried noises from his mother.
"Just try not to let either of you get killed, hmmm?" Molly looked at them, and then sighed. "Just… go rest, you two."
Bill took Faith's hand, winking at her before saying in a reasonable voice. "Of course, mother."
End Jokers Wild.