Final fantasy viii and its characters are property of SquareSoft and I own nothing. I'm only borrowing them. J

Prologue

            Rinoa looked up finally from her work. She directed her aching eyelids to the window- the blind she had forgotten to close swaying in the cold night.

            How had things gone so far? One minute she had been with Squall and their friends planning the present future for them both. She was going to stay in Garden and be with Squall. In her heart somehow she had thought it would last and they were perfect for each other.

            What had changed? Squall for one thing. More work, more responsibility and the novelty of being with someone wore off for both of them far sooner than they had thought it would.

            She slammed the window shut. The phone would ring soon, it always did. Selphie would ring every Friday to see that she was okay. Leaving as abruptly as she had done it was amazing that she had kept in touch with any of them at all.

It rang.

            Rinoa seized the phone eagerly, any break from studying was welcome and she settled herself comfortably on the bed as Selphie's chirpy voice began the usual greetings.

            "Hi Rinoa! How are you?" Before Rinoa could reply she carried on. "I've been pretty busy lately. Garden festival again- you won't believe how many people've volunteered this year. Must because we're famous now," she laughed on the other end of the line.

            Rinoa let her continue. She needed someone to take her mind off all the horrible things that were happening in her life at the present.

            "… and Zell's going out with that Library girl, I can't remember her name and the Trepies are planning to sing to Quistis tomorrow when she eats lunch! I can't wait to see her face! And-"

            "Selphie stop!" Rinoa cut in desperately, she had to ask a question before she died with curiosity, "What's Squall doing? I don't want him to know I've been asking but how's he been?"

            Silence. Rinoa knew why, she had avoided asking for a long time. It was merely due to the fact that it had been four weeks they had broken up that day that reminded Rinoa of him.

 Then a much more sober Selphie began speaking again. "He's alright. He's been working a lot lately. We haven't really seen him." She paused in thought, "Are you okay Rinoa? I mean since you left it's been hard to know how you are."

            "Who wants to know?" Rinoa prayed that she had not been forgotten by the rest of the orphanage gang. Please, please, please.

            "We all do Rinoa. We're worried about you."

            Rinoa smiled. The courses she was taking were long and boring and she was paid very little while she was on the job training. It also meant she had a lot of studying to do in the evenings. No time for socialising.

            "Are you going to come back Rinoa?"

            That left her surprised. Rinoa could not possibly consider what she would do at Garden if she did come back. The only reason she had stayed there in the first place was because Squall had been there. It would be wrong to stay amongst SeeDs who were trained or training to kill her- the sorceress- especially when her relationship with the commander had collapsed.

            It still hurt she realised. She had broken up with him because of stupid little arguments. Squall and Rinoa both were fairly new to relationships and it was a shock to realise how much work it had been.

            "Selphie, I can't come back. You know why."

            "You could. Squall's just being stupid. We'll vouch for you. We all want you back."

            "Thanks Selphie, that means a lot but I can't, I really can't."

            "If you ever-"

            "I won't."

            "-If you ever come back, we'll support you. You're our friend as well as Squall and he can't do anything."

            "The Trepies are gonna sing to Quistis tomorrow?"

            Selphie laughed. "Yeah. I wish you could be there, hey wait! I'll video it for you- that way you can see the look on her face when they start!"

            Good old Selphie. It couldn't entirely dispel the feeling that the rest of the gang found it awkward to speak to her. So far it had only been Selphie who had phoned her.

            After the phone call was over and they had said their goodbyes Rinoa turned back to her pile of work she had to study. I can't believe what he's done to me! Suddenly frustrated she slammed the first book shut and realised she had not marked the page she had been working from. And it was a thick volume. She had to find it all over again.

            She almost felt like screaming.

This is all your fault Squall!

***********************

            Squall was up late again. He was sitting in the chair in the office accepting and rejecting candidates for SeeD training. It was alarming how many people had signed up as SeeD cadets since the defeat of Ultimecia. Maybe it was in the hope another sorceress would show up and they would gain glory and honour in defeating her.

            What was worse was the amount of cadets who had signed up for the missions that the orphanage gang went on. Squall was commander but he was allowed on ordinary missions like the rest of the SeeDs. He had been on several and grown sick of them very quickly. Many SeeDs had signed up; in the hope they could make friends of the five SeeDs and have some elevated status.

            They aren't my friends and they never will be, Squall thought irritably. All those people who wouldn't leave him alone, it was infuriating.

            "Squall?" He spun around, the voice not immediately recognisable. He became less alert when he saw who it was.

            "What is it Xu?"

            "Have you read through those papers I sent up to you?"

            "Yeah." Squall tried not to rub sleep out of his eyes, "There they are."

            Xu picked up the un-orderly pile of papers on the desk. Squall was tired. It had been several weeks since he had had more than two hours of sleep per night. It was catching up on him.

            Xu took a look at a couple of papers and examined them all. A frown crossed her face. "Squall?"

            "Yes?" He didn't bother to turn around.

            "You've filled in the wrong box." Squall turned round and looked at the box she was indicating. For the life of him he couldn't see what it was. "What?" he asked puzzled.

            "I said you've filled in the wrong box. You must have, this cadet will never make SeeD this year, he isn't ready. We can't stop them trying though." She was prevented from continuing when Squall snatched it out of her hands. He stared at it, the confusion becoming more defined on his face.

            Xu watched him calmly sit down and begin to correct the piles of forms he had filled. He was tired she could see; overwork had produced this effect. Sighing she attempted to take the forms away from him.

            Exhausted as he was he held the forms on the desk with a gloved hand. "What are you doing?"

            "Taking these," She managed to extract a few files from under his fingers. "You'll just fill these out incorrectly again and we need them as soon as possible."

            "What makes you think I'll fill them out wrongly again?" He stood up, "I made a mistake this night, I won't again."

            Xu snorted. A very un Xu-like sound. "Yes commander, you'll correct these without making any mistakes when you've not slept properly for at least a week."

            He frowned. Who is she to tell me I'm tired? "That's none of your concern."

            "Yes it is. I told you we need these soon." With Squall now out of the way she could pick up the remaining files. "Goodnight Squall,"

            "But-"

            "If you don't sleep properly for the next week I'll get Doctor Kadowaki to make sure you don't work for much longer." She saluted with her free hand and left the room.

            Squall was too bemused to salute back. He had been told to get some sleep. By Xu of all people.

            If she thinks she'll make friends with me as well she'll be disappointed. He had had enough of people trying to find glory for themselves. Xu never spoke to him on a personal level. The way he had wanted.

            Sighing he headed out of the office to the elevator. He made his way around the large centre of Garden to the dorms. He had insisted on keeping the same room as he had prior to his promotion.

            In his room he tried to sleep but he had become accustomed to the prospect of Rinoa sneaking in when they had been together. The room reminded him of her.

            Maybe I should have had the new room they offered. He rolled on what felt like a bed impossible to sleep on.

            She was like every woman I've ever become close to. Leaves when a few troubles come along. He thought of the argument. What had it been about now? It wasn't my fault.

            He sifted through his drawer. A few things he intended to dispose of. He saw a few notes she had written. He almost throw them away in the bin. At the same time he was compelled to keep them. He couldn't let her go entirely.

            This is all your fault Rinoa.

Another fic. Not planned, but lets see how it goes but lets explore the trials of a relationship. Nothing is ever simple and I don't intend this will be. I always wanted to write a squinoa! Here begins my attempt…