Title: Genesis 3/9
Author: CSIphile/Hipinapple
Disclaimers/Rating: All on the first chapter.
Summary: The beginning of the end.
AN: Thank you to everyone who let me know they are enjoying the fic! I must apologize for my lateness, RL has been a real pain and I haven't had much time to get it all pretty for y'all!
Sniffle, Elliot's leaving…..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
2 Weeks Later, Squad Room
Olivia tries hard not to look at the clock on the wall; she's been avoiding time all day today. In her line of work time is always the enemy, counting down a victim's life, the time to catch a predator, or when a statute expires. Today is no different; time is still her enemy, but for an entirely different reason. Today it counts down to Elliot's last day with the squad, with her. At 6 PM, he will no longer be her partner and starting on Monday, she gets a new one. Sighing loudly she takes a sip of her coffee and almost spits it right back out; it has obviously been sitting there a while. Cringing, she glances at the clock -- yup the coffee has been there five hours to be exact. It's now five o'clock: one hour…60 minutes left. `Ok Liv, stop it, you're making yourself crazy,' she thinks and goes back to checking on her suspect's alibi.
She hangs up the phone with a satisfied smile and is surprised by a familiar baritone voice; she thought she was alone in the crib. She had come up here to make her calls because the noise downstairs was starting to get on her nerves, mostly because various detectives and cops kept coming in to congratulate Elliot and wish him well, and every time she heard someone tell him good luck her heart sinks a little more. Somewhere inside she berates herself for being so emotional.
"Did you nail him?" he asks, as he sits across from her at the table.
"You bet your ass I did. His alibi is no trip to Europe." She smiles at him and he returns it in kind, the inside joke not lost on him.
"Good, guess that means you'll be joining us later then?"
It is less a question than a statement. "Of course, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"What are you doing up here anyway?"
"Just trying to blow holes in our guy's…" She pauses and looks at him. "…alibi. I guess it's my guy now."
"And you can't do that downstairs."
"Too loud."
He nods and gives her a look of understanding. "Seven ok?"
"Yeah. See you there."
"Good, wouldn't be much of a going away party if the one person I care about isn't there."
Olivia stares at him, somehow surprised by his statement. Infrequently they do discuss their feelings about each other, and his statement is as close to feelings as Elliot and Olivia seem to get. It always was an unspoken agreement that this is ground they simply do not cover. It's just understood that their relationship is grounded in a depth of caring that went beyond what you typically have in a personal relationship.
"Y..yeah I'll be there. Seven," she stutters a bit, the reality of the situation finally hitting home for her.
"Good." He touches her shoulder lightly, giving it a small reassuring squeeze. She doesn't look up at him, she can't. Olivia is afraid that if she looks into his eyes she'll break down, something Olivia Benson simply does not do. Instead she places her hand on his and allows it to linger for a moment before pulling away.
He doesn't say another word, just allows his hand to fall and walks away, giving her a small smile before disappearing down the stairs. She watches him go and sighs loudly, putting her head back and closing her eyes briefly. This is turning out to be much harder then she was anticipating, much harder.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Chauncys Bar & Grille
10pm
The place is packed with cops- detectives, some brass, beat cops. Elliot had made a lot of friends in his tenor at SVU. Even those who had hated him came to congratulate him; it's just what you did as a fellow cop.
She watches him out of the corner of her eye; she's actually been doing it for the last three hours, all the while keeping up a steady stream of conversation with Fin and Munch and whoever happened to wander by and talk to her. Don't let anyone say Olivia can't multi- task, as she briefly watches him enjoy the attention, as various people congratulate him and offer to by him yet another drink.
On the outside she seems the happy former partner; glad to see her friend move on to something bigger and better. Smiling at people who come up to talk to her, laughing even while inside she feels horrible. Distressed at the loss of a good partner, friend, and confidant. But at the same time, disturbed by her overly emotional reaction; he isn't divorcing her; this isn't a marriage, though on some level that's what it feels like. Looking over again at him, she catches his eye and he winks at her. Tilting her head slightly, she smiles back at him.
Two hours later the place is still jammed with people -- new ones replacing the ones that left, most of those drinking themselves into oblivion. Olivia had stopped an hour ago. She knew her limit and was conscious of when she hit it; with an alcoholic mother she had to be.
She had been carrying on a conversation with a former squad member from the two-two, but when he departs, she decides that air is in order and quietly slips out the back door. Sighing loudly she sits on a small bench. The back of the bar has the fortune of having a small picnic area behind it.
She hasn't been there but ten minutes when she hears the back door creak open. She knows who it is, but turns anyway to acknowledge his arrival.
"Hey," he says quietly and moves to stand next to her.
"Hey," she replies in an equally low voice, hoping the sadness she feels isn't as obvious as she thinks it is.
"Hiding?"
"Thinking."
"Hmmmm," he responds and steps around the bench, sitting down next to her. "About what?"
She turns to him and tilts her head again with an `As if you don't know' expression.
He nods slightly and they sit in silence for a bit. Finally she leans forward, putting her knees on her thighs, her head in her hands.
"You've heard about the new guy?" she asks into the dark.
"Yeah, I checked him out. Good record, couple commendations, justified shoot a while back -- he was cleared of liability."
Shocked, she sits up and looks at him. "Mother's maiden name? Blood type? Astrological sign?"
He ignores her sarcasm and takes on a serious tone. "Don't want to leave my partner in the wrong hands."
"I'm not your partner anymore El. I haven't been for…" she stops and looks at her watch. "Six hours."
"You'll always be my partner Olivia, and I'm always going to look out for you."
"Elliot…" she starts, but struggles with the words. Plus, something in his tender tone has really gotten to her. She has to concentrate to hold back the tears that threaten and looks away from him into the dark night.
She can feel him looking at her though, staring at her. She sniffles slightly and feels a warm hand on her back, lightly running up and down in a comforting gesture.
"Liv…I don't know what to say," he practically whispers. "I'm going to miss you more than you know. I'm going to miss watching you break a suspect down, miss that look you get when we nail someone, miss having you around every day."
Slowly she turns to look over her shoulder at him, hoping that the dark hides the tears that had managed to slip through while he was talking. She knew that it didn't when the hand that had been resting on her back slides up and pulls her into him, so she is resting her head on his shoulder.
Initially Olivia is stiff in his arms, unfamiliar with this side of Elliot. She's always known him to be gentle with victims, but Olivia has never been on the receiving end of his comfort. But for a little while she decides to give into it, relaxing into his shoulder and staring at the cloudless sky.
For a long while they sit in comfortable silence, each enjoying the other's company. She is acutely aware of the heat coming off his body, and of his hand absently fingering the sleeve of her light blue shirt, his fingers occasionally brushing against her skin lightly.
I'm sorry," she finally says quietly.
"For what?" he asks, and stops his movements on her arm.
"For…for getting all emotional. I didn't want to, and honestly I don't know why I am."
"Damn, Liv, don't apologize. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't emotional too. It's hard to leave something so familiar, something so good. We've been together so long; we've forgotten what it's like to be apart."
"Yeah, well, I don't see you almost crying outside a bar," she retorts.
"No, but that's cause I'm a man and I'm not allowed to cry."
Lifting her head, she looks at him to gauge the seriousness of his words. He looks serious, she decides, and returns her head to its position on his shoulder.
"It's just you and me out here, you know."
"Yeah, I know." His tone holds a quality she's never heard from Elliot before. Defeat laced with regret. At the same time his hand starts slowly sliding up and down her arm. "I'm just a phone call away, Liv, and just a few blocks. So if that partner of yours starts giving you grief, you let me know."
This time she can hear the mirth in his voice. "I handled you, Stabler, I think I can handle some newbie."
She can feel the laugh in his chest, rumbling slightly against her. "Of that I have NO doubt, Benson."
Again silence reigns and they both look up into the sky, admiring the stars twinkling on them, both having feelings of déjà vu. Finally Elliot breaks the silence.
"Seriously, Liv -- if you need me, call me."
She is silent for a minute before pulling away from him and sitting up, her back instantly feeling the cold against it. "I'm going to miss your stoop."
Grinning, he sits up next to her, his shoulders just brushing against hers as they talk. "How many hours have we spent there?"
"Too many to count. We've had our best arguments there."
In unison they speak. "Plummer."
A somber silence overcomes them and she breaks it first. "That was… unpleasant. Did I ever apologize for that?"
"I can't remember," he says, confusion evident in his tone.
"Well I am. Regardless of your behavior, I should have listened to what you and Cragen were telling me."
"Glad to know you see it my way… Even if it is three years later." He looks at her and smiles.
"Better late than never."
He snorts slightly. "Sure."
Absently, she bumps his shoulder with hers and gives him a sly look. "You better get back to your party."
Leaning in, he whispers in her ear. "They haven't missed me yet. Besides, I'd rather be out here."
She shivers slightly, not sure if it's from the September air or his breath on her ear. No, she knows which it is and she feels like a line has been crossed, intentionally or not. But at the same time, she liked him invading her personal space. It felt...right to her, on some level. Shuddering, Olivia stands and steps away from the bench. Elliot quickly follows suit, coming to a stop right in front of her; something in his eyes tells her that he felt it too. The tiniest spark of something when he leaned into her, when he whispered into her ear, a spark of something neither of them is willing to acknowledge.
"I guess I ought to go back," he says quietly while looking at his feet.
"Yeah…yeah," she replies, equally fascinated with the ground.
Without warning, he pulls her into another hug, this one fiercer and more emotional than before. He grabs onto her like he will never see her again, despite their protests to the contrary. Easily she sinks into him. Burying her face into his shoulder, she can hear his heart beating a mile a minute, feel his arms tighten slightly around her waist. She feels him shift slightly to bring his lips closer to her ear, speaking in a hushed, yet distressed tone.
"Bye, Livia."
With that, he kisses the top of her head and releases her, swiftly moving to the door. Without looking back at her, he opens it and steps inside. She knows why; if he turns to look at her, he might not be able to leave.
tbc…………………