Title: Genesis Chapter 6/9

Author: CSIphile/H

AN: Wow, you guys are the best. I never in a million years thought I would get THIS many reviews for this fic. I thought I would post my little fic, get a few reviews and have the warm fuzzies all over. Instead I am drowning in the warm fuzzies, its such a great feeling. Thank you SO much to everyone who has reviewed. Just for that I'll probably post two chapters today, one this morning and one this afternoon, you guys so deserve it!

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SVU Squadroom

One Week Later

"Elliot!" Fin's boisterous voice announces through the bullpen.

Elliot wasn't expecting such a loud reception and smiles at his old squad mate. "Fin! Man, how's it going?" he says, shaking the other man's hand.

"Good, good. How you enjoying those Narc boys?"

"I thought I was thickheaded until I met them. You try getting five boroughs to cooperate with each other and share information."

Fin laughs lightly. "Yeah, Narc doesn't like to share."

"Not much. How's everyone?"

"Good. Munch is in court right now. I think Cragen is in his office."

Elliot looks around quickly, searching for the face of the person he came for. Not seeing her, he turns his attention back to the other man. "Ok, I'll catch him in a bit. Where's Olivia?"

Elliot watches as something dark crosses Fin's face while he considers his answer. Concerned, he repeats the question. "Where is she?"

"Home."

Elliot scrunches his face as he considers this. "Home? Why?"

"Cragen sent her home. She hasn't left the precinct in 4 days; she was a zombie. When she stopped arguing with Mike for more than 2 minutes we knew she needed to go."

"But why…" Suddenly something dawns on him. "Is she on the Repeat Rapist case?"

"Yeah, she is." Something in his tone tells Elliot that Olivia isn't handling it as well as she usually does. "She insisted…as did her partner."

"Of course she did." He sighs loudly and shakes his head. "Thanks Fin. Tell Cragen I'll be by again."

"No problem man."

Without another word Elliot walks out of his old station house, making one call to his desk sergeant to let him know he would be gone longer than he thought, and another to Kathy.

Olivia Benson's Apartment

He knocks on the door, and then waits before knocking again. Elliot repeats this process two or three times before starting to get worried. Frowning he pulls out his trump card: her key.

Elliot has never had occasion to use the key; she had given it to him a long time ago, and it has rested on his key chain, unused- until now. He hadn't even used it after the Plummer incident, knowing it was better to leave her alone than to try and force her to talk; but this is a different set of circumstances. 'Repeat, Jesus,' he thinks, and turns the key in the door, pushing it open slowly while calling her name.

"Olivia?" He closes the door.

"Liv, you here?" He shrugs out of his coat and walks into her living room.

"Livvie!" he calls out in a taunting tone, knowing she hates that nickname.

Moving to the back of the apartment, he finds her…sleeping. "No wonder I couldn't find you -- you're doing what you were told," he mutters and steps into the room.

Finally something dawns on him: he'd been yelling her name and she hadn't woken up. Every cop Elliot knows would wake up at the sound of a pin drop; it's just a learned behavior. This realization increases his concern, and he approaches the bed with trepidation.

Sweeping his eyes over her, he notices nothing wrong; she is sleeping on her stomach, her back rising and falling in a methodical rhythm. Something on her night table catches his eye, though: a prescription bottle. 'Damn Liv,' he thinks and picks it up, already knowing the contents.

Sleeping pills. Olivia only ever took them if she was desperate for a dreamless sleep. He should have checked on her earlier. Should have figured she would be working the worst serial rapist case to hit New York in years.

Carefully he sits on the edge of her bed, pushing hair off her face and tucking it neatly behind her ear. She shifts slightly, moving her body closer to his, as if sensing his presence, and murmurs in her sleep. Sighing, Elliot tosses his shoes onto the floor and swings his feet up onto the bed, resting his head against the headboard, sitting on top of the covers.

She awakens to warmth. Not the regular warmth of her apartment, a different kind of warmth. A comforting warmth. As her senses slowly return through the drug-induced fog, Olivia realizes she is lying next to a person. Immediately the fog is gone, replaced by an awareness that she did not fall asleep with another person in her bed. Sitting up and moving away from the body, she is relieved to see the face of her former partner staring at her.

"Nice to see you awake."

"Damn, Elliot, you scared me. Wait…what are you doing here and how did you get in?"

"Key, remember?" At her nod, he takes a minute to look at her. Dark circles rim her eyes, her skin has lost some of its healthy glow, but the most dramatic difference is in her eyes…they seem to have lost something, but he's not sure what. Reaching out, he pushes hair off her cheek. "You ok?"

"Fine," she states shortly and gets out of bed, obviously without regard for the fact that Elliot is there, as she is only wearing a tank top and underwear.

"Yeah, 'cause you always use pills to sleep." That earns him a glare from her as she pulls on a pair of track pants and walks out of the room.

Quickly, he gets up and follows her; he can hear her bare feet slapping against the linoleum in her kitchen. Turning the corner, he finds her putting coffee in the machine and yawning. He is about to speak when her voice stops him.

"Why are you here?" She looks honestly confused.

"I was worried. I went to the station house to see you, but Fin said you went home. He told me you were on that case."

"And what? You automatically assumed that I couldn't handle it?" He watches the regret flash over her face as she says it.

"No. I was worried because he said you hadn't slept in four days and were walking around like a zombie. And I know you, you get…so distracted in a case, you forget everything else."

"I wasn't distracted by the case."

"Bullshit. Don't try to pull that crap with me, Liv. The reason I went to the station was because I hadn't heard from you since…that night. That's just not like you."

Heavily, she sits in one of the kitchen chairs, pulling one knee up to her chest. She looks more like a teenager than a seasoned detective. "Look, it's a rough case, yeah, I got…distracted, ok? I got some sleep and I'm fine."

He follows suit and sits in the chair next to her, sliding as close as he can get without invading her space. "Talk to me."

"You know about it. Five days this week a guy has followed women home from rape crisis meetings, raped, and killed them. There's no pattern we can see to which meetings he goes to and we don't even know HOW he knows where they are. All the women have been raped-the first time- in the last year. Four out of five rapes were investigated by our unit. That's about it." She shrugs and gets up to get coffee, getting a strange feeling of déjà vu as she remembers the last time he was in her apartment.

"That's not it, Liv. If I wanted to know about the case, I would have called Cragen."

Returning, she places a cup in front of him and returns to her original position. "What do you want from me?"

"This case is killing you -- I can see it. Does your partner even know how much this is getting to you?"

Sighing, she looks down into the cup, watching the brown liquid settle in its container. "No. Besides, it's not that bad. I just had a really rough night last night."

"Why?" he prods. He can tell she is holding something back.

"The last victim…was Carrie Hewitt." He sees tears spring into her eyes and gets off his chair, kneeling next to her and pulling her into a tight hug.

"Oh God, Olivia." He can feel her shaking in his arms as he holds her. "I'm so sorry, Liv…"

At that, she pulls back and wipes her tears away. "Nothing to be sorry for; I'm not dead, she is."

"No, but I know you're hurting too," he whispers, and touches her cheek lightly.

"I…" she starts but stops and bites a trembling lower lip. "She was finally through the worst of it, you know? When they can see that life will go on, when they accept they are changed, but learn to at least like who they are now. God, Elliot…"

With that, Olivia stands and walks to the other side of the kitchen, turning to face him after a few seconds. "She…" Again she stops and looks down, trying to say what she needs without breaking down. Looking back up, she finds Elliot now standing in front of her, looking worried.

"Liv, it's not your fault. No one saw this coming."

"I told her everything would be fine, Elliot. I told her life would get better and she would get better. I lied to her." Swallowing, she tightens her lips in an attempt to keep the tears at bay. Again she speaks, this time in a whisper. "I lied to her."

He takes a step forward and pulls her into him, resting his chin on her head. "You didn't know, you couldn't," he says as he strokes her back with one hand.

"I could have warned her, told her to be careful. He was targeting brunettes specifically," she mumbles into his chest, not wanting to move. She needs someone to lean on, and he was right -- this case is quickly killing her emotionally. Never before has something hit her to the core so hard and so quickly.

"Liv…wait. Wasn't Carrie blonde?"

She lifts her head slightly. "Yeah, she…she went back to brown because every time she looked in the mirror, she saw someone who was raped. She thought that wouldn't happen if she let her hair return to its natural color. It didn't help….and it probably killed her."

Gently, he pulls her away from him. "Olivia, you couldn't have done anything. It's not your fault. You couldn't have warned every brunette in counseling. Besides, who's to say if you had warned her, it would have been different? You can't kill yourself over if's."

"I try not to, Elliot. But there are so damn many! What if I HAD warned her? Maybe if we tried harder, we would have caught him by now." She backs out his grasp and walks away from him, picking up the coffee mugs and putting them in her sink. She can feel him approach her, but doesn't move, allowing him to enter her personal space.

"Liv…I KNOW you. And I know that you did your best, you cannot expect more from yourself. I know you want this guy so bad, you can feel it pulling at you. But you need to be careful, because I also know that you will neglect yourself, and you're not helping anyone doing that." Again he reaches out and touches her cheek, and she leans into his hand slightly, needing the physical contact.

"Have you eaten today?" he asks and drops his hand. It's near six already.

"Ummm…no, I don't think so."

"Ok, let's order from that Chinese place you like so much," he says and starts looking around for the menu he knows she has hidden somewhere.

"Elliot, you need to get home. I'm fine."

He gives her an incredulous look and starts opening drawers in random order, looking for his prize. "I called Kathy earlier -- it's fine. Besides, I could really stand some…AH HA!"

Olivia watches as he waves around the takeout menu and shakes her head. "Fine. Somehow I don't think you will leave until I've eaten anyway."

"Nope," he comments and quickly places the order.

tbc……………………………..