Fanatic: Vincent Valentine

By: Tifa Gainsborough

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Casey Crystal: HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! waves like a mad woman

Tifa Gainsborough: That is not how we begin the show. We have to the let the camera do it's nifty thing, then we can begin the show!

Casey: Fine, fine.

The scene fades out and opens up to reveal two woman in President Shinra's office. Casey is running around the office, chasing flies. Tifa G is sitting on President Shinra's desk keeping a watchful eye out for Sephiroth and Rufus.

Tifa G: Welcome to Fanatic, I'm your host, Tifa Gainsborough. Today we have a very special guest host. My good friend, Casey Crystal.

Casey: I'm here to protect her points to Tifa G from my beloved Rufus.

Tifa G: Now do you job body guard and protect me.

Casey pulls out a familiar pair of shades and puts them on. Crossing her arms she gives off creepy Rude vibes.

Tifa G: Uh….. Good body guarding. On today's show Queen Vegeta will be interviewing everybody's favorite mystery man Vincent Valentine.

Casey: He's not my favorite.

Tifa G: Look! I think I see Rufus!

Casey: RUFUS! runs off

Tifa G: Works every time. Lets go get Queen Vegeta.

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Tifa G and Casey walk through that town that is called Icicle Inn. Which is odd, it deserves a proper name. We shall call it Shwah Village.

Village person: Welcome to Icicle Inn.

Tifa G: NO! climbs up on soap box You are forever to be known as Shwah Village. I have decreed it so!

The people of the "Shwah Village" give Tifa G a few strange glances and then return to what they were doing. Climbing off her soap box Casey comes over with a smirk.

Casey: Smooth move.

Tifa G: Thank you.

Tifa G walks towards to slopes and Casey does a nice face fault into the snow. A random person walks by and tosses a few bills on Casey's back.

Casey: Thanks! Wait up!

The two come to the top of the slopes, then man that warns you of the hill is lying in a heap next to a tree.

Casey: Did you really have to beat him like that?

Tifa G: No, but it was fun. yells QUEEN VEGETA!

Somebody decked out in snowboarding clothes comes running over, knocking people out of the way in the process.

Queen Vegeta: She called my name! I'm the next fanatic! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME! ME!

Tifa G: Casey, will you please take care of this.

Casey: Yeah sure…. NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME! NOT YOU, ME!

Tifa G: Why do I even bother. Do your nifty fade to black please.

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First Impression

Queen Vegeta: I get to meet Vincent. I am so freakin happy! This is the coolest thing in the entire world, I can't believe I finally get to meet him. I hope he likes me, what am I say! Of course he will like me, I just happen to be one of his biggest fans!

The scene shifts to the room with the coffins. Tifa G is calmly knocking on the center coffin. Casey is trying out a couple of coffins, trying to figure with which one Pyro would fit in best.

Tifa G: Vincent, we need your first impression.

Vincent: Go away, I am atoning for my sins.

Tifa G: Come on, be a sport!

Vincent: I don't want to be a 'sport'. Leave me be!

Casey: Hey! Did you hear Hojo was back and so was Lucrecia and Hojo was going to be doing horrible experiments on her!

The coffin lid goes flying off, striking Tifa G in the head

Tifa G: But Rufus, I didn't steal your white outfit, I swear! passes out

Vincent climbs out of his coffin, looking royally pissed off. Casey points and laughs at Tifa G.

Casey: First impression!

Vincent: Where is Hojo?

Casey: It was a trick.

Vincent: ……

Scene fades to black and Casey screams

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Tifa G: So, do you have questions your all?

Queen Vegeta: What?

Casey: She hit her head, she's not having a good day. Do you have all your questions.

Queen Vegeta: YES! Let me at the sexy man.

Tifa G with a stupid grin: Go interview do good.

Queen Vegeta walks out to the sit next to Vincent. Somewhere in the Shinra Mansion there were two perfectly good chairs. It's amazing, something Hojo didn't destroy.

Queen Vegeta: VINNY-CHAN! Hi!

Vincent: Vin… what?

Queen Vegeta: What was it like being a Turk?

Vincent: It was a job that I was good at. I didn't like killing people, but it let me have a lot of new experiences. If I could go back I wouldn't change anything.

Queen Vegeta: And you met Lucrecia. Have you ever tried any other weapons, besides your gun? If not, if you could try another weapon, what would it be?

Vincent: I have used a gun ever since my days with the Turks. I am satisfied with it. Yet if I could try a different weapon I would like to try Cid's spear.

Queen Vegeta: That's cool. Is it true that you can't feel anything in your left arm?

Vincent: Simply phantom feelings on an old limb. Another of the sins Hojo bestowed upon me.

Queen Vegeta: Poor Vincent. Why, in your opinion, did Hojo experiment on you?

Vincent: Because the man is an insane freak that likes to toy with things he has no control over. Is any other reason really needed?

Queen Vegeta: I guess not. Do you really have a lot of trouble controlling Chaos, or is it just a fan fiction rumor?

Vincent: Chaos is apart of me that I can never be rid of. I have complete control. But Chaos is made of anger and violence. When I get angered Chaos will take control. It's like the part of me that is forever angry.

Queen Vegeta: That must suck.

Vincent: To put it simply, yes.

Queen Vegeta: Do you like you hair long or short?

Vincent: Short was fine, but I don't mind it long. Hair is simply not that important to me at the moment.

Queen Vegeta: Okay, okay, can't break the wonderful tradition. Boxers or brief's Vincent?

Vincent: Why is this such a wonderful tradition?

Queen Vegeta: Because Tifa G said so. Yet nobody knows where it started.

Tifa G: Know I! It started Sephiroth with fanatic!

Everybody gives Tifa G an odd look and with a calm smile Casey knocks the girl unconscious again.

Casey: Much better. Please continue.

Vincent: I wear boxers.

Queen Vegeta: Excellent. I know this is very personal, but how did Lucrecia die?

Vincent: Lucrecia never really did die. She is like me, an animated being. But different, I believe it is the result of the Jenova cells and mako that Hojo injected into her to affect Sephiroth before he was born. They overwhelmed her body and she fell into an animated state. Not dead, but not exactly alive.

Queen Vegeta: Whoa, you put a lot of thought into that.

Vincent: I have had many years to think about it. Next question.

Queen Vegeta: Since Lucrecia, have you ever felt like you loved anyone else?

Vincent: I have not been romantically linked to anybody since Lucrecia.

Queen Vegeta: Do you like me Vincent? Bates her eyelashes and give him the puppy dog look

Vincent: Please…. Don't make me call security.

Casey: Somebody call security!

Vincent: I suddenly feel very unsafe.

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Second Impression

Queen Vegeta: Vincent rocks my world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is all I have to say on the subject! faints

Vincent: That wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I was expecting a very insane fan, but her questions were very good.

Sephiroth and Rufus wander in, both looking very upset.

Sephiroth: Have you seen this woman. holds up a picture of Tifa G striking a pose

Vincent: She's passed out and Casey drug her down to Hojo's lab.

Rufus: Perfect

The super villain and sexy semi villain head down to Hojo's lab. Casey is dancing around the lab, destroying everything she gets her hands on.

Rufus kicking the door open: We have…. CASEY!

Casey: RUFUS! I knew you would come!

Rufus: Sephiroth… uh… you take care of everything.

Rufus makes a mad break for the stairs and Casey chases after him. Sephiroth enters the lab with a wicked grin.

Sephiroth: Now you shall pay!

Tifa G: But Sephiroth, I thought you were free. sits bolt up right, holding Rufus' shotgun, where she got it…. don't ask Tune in next time for our next episodes…. Somebody will surely be interviewing somebody.

The scene fades to black

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Authors Note: Please people, if you want to interview somebody send me an e-mail, I would greatly appreciate it. If you would like to interview somebody, ask me and I will present you with a list of who has been interview and who hasn't. Queen Vegeta, sorry for the long delay. You know where ownership lies ^_^