Fanatic: Aerith Gainsborough
By Tifa Gainsborough
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The scene opens to reveal Rufus Shinra and Sephiroth. They are leaning over a table, pointing at maps and pictures.
Sephiroth: If you distract her from the front I can sneak up with the tacks from the back.
Rufus: You have a six foot sword, why the hell do you need tacks?
Sephiroth: They are cool! pulls out a couple of tacks and sticks them in Rufus arm
Rufus: I do not find that amusing! You stupid megalomaniac!
Sephiroth: That's it pretty boy! Bring it on!
Rufus: I'll kick your ass from here to eternity mama's boy!
The scene slowly fades to black as Rufus and Sephiroth proceed to try and kick the living crap out of each other. It opens again to reveal a short haired redhead eyeing the golden wire that Barett thought was cool or something.
Tifa Gainsborough: I refuse to climb this!
Director: The location is up there and due to budget cuts we can't get train tickets!
Tifa G: This is an outrage! There must be something in my contract that keeps me from climbing golden wires! And where did my bodyguard go?
Director: Last we saw her she was trying to get a fork and plug in to get along. So we got you a new bodyguard.
A new person comes sliding down the golden wire thingy. Kinneas drops to the ground and pulls on a trademark pair of sunglasses.
Tifa G: Where do you people keep getting those sunglasses! I want a pair too!
Kinneas: The Turks sell them via their web page.
Tifa G: The Turks have a web page? glances at camera Oh hi! Welcome to Fanatic, I'm your host as always Tifa Gainsborough. On today's show Shinji Masaki will be interviewing Aerith Gainsborough.
Kinneas: It's AERIS!
Tifa G: It's my show and I'll call her whatever I want to call her! Lets go get Shinji Masaki now!
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The scene is a persons bedroom. The walls are covered with posters of assorted anime. Kinneas is tactfully trying to remove a Gundam Wing poster from the wall. The poster refuses to come down and Kinneas shots it with a gun she stole. Tifa G is standing behind somebody who is glued to the TV.
Tifa G: Hello, Shinji Masaki, you have been chosen to interview Aerith on Fanatic!
Shinji: That's great! But… I could use a little help.
Kinneas: What seems to be the problem.
Shinji: I'm glued to my TV!
Tifa G: You mean that wasn't just figuratively speaking, you are actually glued to the TV?
Shinji: Yes and don't laugh!
Kinneas: TOO LATE! Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha passes out from lack of oxygen
Tifa G: That seems to happen a lot on this show.
Tifa G drags Kinneas out of the room. She returns and drags Shinji out, TV included.
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First Impression
Shinji: I am so happy to have that TV off my face! I can't believe I get to interview Aerith, this is like a dream come true. She is one of the greatest characters that ever was! She is just so very cool!
Aerith: I get to be on Fanatic! I have so many wonderful fans! I mean, people may dislike me, but I am still very well liked by others. I hope my fan is very nice! Wait a sec… turns to Tifa G and Kinneas who are standing in the background. They have their Final Fantasy X dolls engaged in battle
Tifa G: Prepare to die Tidus! moves Seymour doll in for the kill
Kinneas: NEVER! kicks Seymour doll out of Tifa G's hand
Aerith: HEY!
Tifa G: What?
Aerith: Aren't I suppose to be dead.
Tifa G: Well, nobody is really sure. There are so many resurrection fics and the big controversy about the ending. Your dead one minute, alive the next.
Aerith: I'm confused.
Kinneas: Our feelings exactly.
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A big gust of wind blows across the rooftop of a building in Midgar.
Tifa G: People have the oddest locations for interviews. Do you have all your questions?
Shinji: Yes and your bodyguard just got blown off the roof.
Tifa G: Damn it! Well go ahead, I have to go check on Kinneas.
Kinneas: HELP ME!
Shinji walks out to the rooftop center where Aerith is standing staring at the skyline. The dark, gloomy, depressing skyline…It's just so sad looking all dark and lonely.
Somewhere in a University on the west coast Zack smacks the author across the head! Look at that! Aerith's dress just blew around her head! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Shinji: Hello Aerith.
Aerith: Hi! It's so very nice to meet you.
Shinji: Nice to meet you as well. I believe I shall begin with the questions. Everybody wants to know, is there anything between you and Cloud?
Aerith: Cloud is a really good friend of mine. Sometimes I'm not sure on my feelings for him. I know the time that we were together, stopping Sephiroth was very important to him. We had two different destinies, a romance probably would have never worked out.
Shinji: Really?
Aerith: Most likely.
Shinji: Interesting. What's it like having a 5-foot blade shoved through your mid-section?
Aerith: It's defiantly not a pleasant feeling. But I was willing to accept whatever I was presented with. That was the fate that the Planet chose for me.
Shinji: You sound like you have no regrets. What's resurrection like?
Aerith: laughs Its rather interesting. One minute I'm in the Promised Land the next I'm alive. Which isn't pleasant since Cloud lay my body to rest in water!
Shinji: That could pose a problem.
Aerith: Yes, usually people fail to take that into consideration when they resurrect me.
Shinji: Which name do you prefer, Aeris or Aerith?
Aerith: Both work fine with me. I really have no preference, both sound nice.
Shinji: Which if your favorite sequel to Final Fantasy 7, 8 or 9?
Aerith: Well, technically they aren't sequels. But I am rather fond of Final Fantasy 9. I really like the characters and Zidane is very cute.
Shinji: Why a flower girl?
Aerith: It was just a way of life. I had such a bad life I wanted to bring joy to others. I had little joy in my life, not knowing my father and only having my real mother around for a few years. Flowers make me happy, I wanted to try to make others happy as well.
Shinji: That is really nice of you.
Aerith: Thank you.
Shinji: Why do you appear in Final Fantasy Tactics?
Aerith: I guess it would be considered another resurrection. laughs
Shinji: You could look at it that way. If you're a Cetra, can you fly and stuff?
Aerith: Nope, I can't fly.
Shinji: Why not?
Aerith: A lot of people believe that because Sephiroth could fly and he claimed to be a Cetra I could fly as well. I can't fly, although it would be fun. Sephiroth wasn't a really a Cetra.
Shinji: Will you go out with me?
Aerith: I appear to have a very long list of those that want to date me. I guess you could say I am popular.
Shinji: Well, thank you for answering all the questions.
Aerith: My pleasure.
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Second Impressions
Shinji: It's really amazing how intelligent Aerith is. I guess all those stories of her being a ditz aren't as true as I thought. She answered everything very politely. Now I know why she is one of my favorites.
Aerith: I hope my fan liked me. They were very nice. I guess those stories I had heard about the interviewer being rather crazy just weren't true.
Tifa G comes running in, followed closely by Rufus and Sephiroth. Aerith watched them run by and laughs. A few minutes later Kinneas and Casey appear.
Casey: Hiya Aerith! Did you see where they went?
Aerith: That way!
Kinneas: waves around her Clarinet of Doom™ CHARGE!
Kinneas and Casey run off and finally find Tifa G and the rest.
Tifa G: I apologize! Really, I'm very sorry.
Sephiroth: It is too late!
Casey: We have arrived!
Rufus spots Casey and makes a mad dash for it! He is such a wimp, always running from Casey. Sephiroth spots Kinneas and what she is holding in her hand.
Sephiroth: No! Not the wall again! Anything but the wall! runs screaming from the room like a little baby! Gosh, villains sure are wimps!
Tifa G: Thank you! Next time tune in for our next episode!
Casey: Will you two just get along! pokes plug in with a fork
Tifa G and Kinneas: NO!
The scene sparks out.
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Authors Note: Another chapter… so fast you may say! I know, I'm like a machine! I do hope you enjoyed. Casey, bebe, you are in my thoughts! Hope everything goes well. Take care bebe!