Fanatic: Jenova

By Tifa Gainsborough

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Tifa Gainsborough is looking left and right, keeping a watchful eye out for Rufus and Sephiroth. Kinneas and Casey Crystal are also keeping an eye open for them, although they don't look as enthusiastic as Tifa G.

Tifa G: Welcome to another episode of Fanatic! I'm your host, Tifa G.

Kinneas: And I'm bodyguard number 1, Kinneas!

Casey: Hey! I thought I was bodyguard number 1!

Tifa G: Uh… watches her two bodyguards begins to get into a fight with their respected weapons Well, on today's episode Daze Riot will be interviewing Jenova.

Cloud: from somewhere off screen JENOVA!!!!! gives a girly scream running onto the set I must protest this episode!

Tifa G: Why?

Cloud: Because of…. I can't say it!

Tifa G: Jenova?

Cloud: AHHHHHH!!!!! pulls at his hair

Tifa G: JENOVA! JENOVA! JENOVA! chasses Cloud off the set still screaming Jenova Face it Cloud! You just love Jenova!

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Kinneas and Casey walk in, exchanging glares, occasionally hitting the other with their weapons. Tifa G stumbled in a few minutes later, sporting some nifty purple bruises.

Tifa G: Damn… who knew Cloud could be so strong.

Casey: You deserved it.

Kinneas: Oh, go stick a fork in a light socket.

Casey: Hey, I haven't tried that yet!


Tifa G: Casey… don't. We have to get today's fanatic, Daze.

Tifa G walks up to a big door and pounds on it for a few minutes. Finally somebody appears at the door.

Daze: Hey! Teef, how is it going?

Tifa G: You have been chosen to interview Jenova!

Daze: Excellent! Do I get to take a helicopter?

Tifa G: Uh… hmm…

Kinneas and Casey: YEAH! Can we?!?!

Director: Budget cuts! No way!

Tifa G: Oh bleh… we are taking the Highwind!

All: YEAH!


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The Highwind drops down in the same place it landed in the Northern Cave when everybody went to fight Sephiroth. It's like great memories or something. Tifa G, Casey, Kinneas, and Daze are all kicked out of the Highwind and as it pulls off ,Cid's loud curses can be heard from inside.

Tifa G: Same to you! Same to you!

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First Impressions

Daze: I can't wait to interview Jenova, I am I'm probably the only person that doesn't really like the person they are interviewing! But I just have so many questions that I must as her, or is it he, or is it just an it? So many decisions!

Jenova: I have fans? I don't believe it.

Tifa G: I wouldn't either, cause I don't think you have many fans.

Jenova: PUPPET!

Red lights swirl around Tifa G and she begins to do a funny jig. Jenova laughs evilly.

Tifa G: I hate this job.

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Jenova floats in the center of the Northern Cave. Kinneas and Casey are whapping each other on the arms with a clarienet and flute respectfully. Daze is tapping his clipboard with his questions on his open palm. Tifa G is doing a jig into a wall.

Tifa G: Go ask your questions!

Daze: Is there a reason you are doing a jig into a wall?

Tifa G: GRRRR! Just go talk to her!

Daze walks out and takes a seat near Jenova

Jenova: Hello.

Daze: Greetings! Lets being. Why did you kill the Cetra? I mean, Aerith was one of them!

Jenova: I did not destroy the Cetra. I came and killed off a few of them. But eventually they died off on their own, things tend to do that. Aerith was working against my plan, so I was rid of her.

Daze: That's mean! How come there are so many different types of you? I mean life and death and all those others.

Jenova: That bastard Hojo did it to me!

Daze: Hojo seems to be responsible for a lot of things. Was it fun controlling Sephiroth? Personally, I would have made him dance and make himself look like an idiot.

Jenova: Who said I didn't! I mean, look at that poor hostess.

Tifa G: MAKE runs into a wall IT runs into another wall STOP!

Daze: So… where did you actually come from?

Jenova: I fell from the sky. How I got into the sky is a mystery even to me.

Daze: Did it hurt when you landed on the Planet?

Jenova: It wasn't pleasant, that's for sure.

Daze: What do you have against the Planet?

Jenova: I have no one main problem. I was frozen in ice for so many years. My cells where used to create super humans, many would have a problem after that.

Daze: You know everybody hates you, right?

Jenova: You shall suffer for that outrage!

Daze: Uh… Yikes! Are you really crazy?

Jenova: What do you think?

Kinneas: TIFA G! Get off the ceiling!

Tifa G: I CAN'T HELP IT!

Jenova: I like to make my puppets dance!

Daze: I will take that as a yes. How old are you? Really?!

Jenova: A woman never reveals her age.

Daze: What do you do when you're not controlling people and being a total bitch?

Jenova: DANCE PUPPET!

Daze beings to dance across the Northern Cave. Jenova… Jenova is insane!

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Second Impression

Daze: I still don't like Jenova, but those were some interesting answers. If only I could stop dancing.

Jenova is watching Tifa G and Daze dance across the Northern Cave. Cloud wanders in, spots Jenova, and runs screaming. Jenova glances over, spotting Cloud.

Jenova: My little Cloudy-boy! floats after Cloud and Tifa G and Daze stop dancing

Tifa G: Oh thank you that episode is finished!

Sephiroth: You insulted mother!

Rufus: Yeah, whatever he said!

Tifa G: Where are my bodyguards!

Kinneas and Casey are absorbed in hitting each other with their musical weapons, completely ignoring what is going on.

Tifa G: HEY! Remember, you can't kill me! We are on TV.

Director: We went off air three minutes ago.

Tifa G: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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Authors Note: Hope you enjoyed. This episode is dedicated to all my livejournal friends! You are all the greatest! If you have an lj, feel free to add me to your friends list. I'm TifaG. Next chapter will be out one of these days.