TITLE: Relapse - Consequences (Part 1)
AUTHOR: Jacinta and Willow
SUMMARY: Leo has to deal with the consequences of a mistake
SPOILERS: Anything up to S4
CHARACTERS: Ensemble
RATING: PG
DISCLAIMER: Definitely not mine
THURSDAY, 9.30PM, WHITE HOUSE
"Josh," Leo calls down the corridor, Josh turns and reluctantly waits. "You going home?" Leo asks.
"Yeh. It's 9.30, I've finished all my work."
"You dealt with Hunter?" Leo asks as they continue walking.
"The report's on your desk."
"And the road people?"
"We going to do this everyday from now on?" Josh asks. "'Cos if you're going to check on everything I do, you may as well do it yourself." He opens the door to the lobby. "If that's all, I'm going home."
As Leo watches Josh walk through the lobby he feels a range of emotions. One being anger at Josh for his insolent attitude, but he's also worried that Josh really isn't handling the situation all that well.
"He knows he messed up."
Leo turns to face Toby. "He really messed up, Toby. This isn't something that's fixable and it isn't the first time."
"He's human, he is allowed to make mistakes."
"Yes. But we have to live with the consequences."
Toby knows that, he's been dealing with the fallout for almost two weeks now. He feels he should point out something that's been bothering him for a few days. "We don't really know what happened, Leo."
"If there's more, he should tell us. You off home?"
"Yeh. You want to check I've done all my work before I go?" Toby asks.
Leo's a little taken a back by Toby's comment, and "No," is all he manages in reply.
"Just Josh then? I'll see you tomorrow."
Leo watches Toby walk away. "Toby," he calls. "Is he alright?"
Toby looks at Leo like he's lost his mind. "I wouldn't have thought so, no."
An hour later Leo's reading Josh's report on Hunter. It's very well written, all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. A perfect report, not the sort he usually receives from Josh, Leo can almost feel Josh's anger and resentment seeping out of the paper. He sighs and puts it in his Out tray.
He really was angry with Josh, he still is. He can't believe he could have been so stupid as to piss Congressman Phillips off to the extent that he changed parties. They've been trying to spin the mess for almost two weeks now. Toby and CJ both think it's time to leave it alone. There's no way Phillips is coming back to them, unless he gets Josh's head. And while Leo has been sorely tempted, he isn't willing to be blackmailed in that way. Toby was angry with Josh at first, but now he seems sympathetic, he even commented that Josh isn't Mandy, they can't just keep him out of the loop as a punishment.
"Still here then?" Jed asks from the doorway.
"Mr President. Just finishing reading some reports."
"From Josh?" Jed asks.
"Yeh."
"You could try talking to him. It'd save a fortune in paper," Jed comments. "How long are you going punish him?"
"I'm not punishing him, Sir. He screwed up, majorly screwed up. He's been taking too much on and going off on his own missions too often."
"So you thought you'd rein him in."
"Mr President, all due respect, I thought staff was my department?"
"It is," Jed agrees. He wonders though if Leo realizes quite how much he's hurt Josh. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Night, Mr President."
THURSDAY 11PM, GEORGETOWN
"Are you going to let me in or do I sit here all night?" Toby asks Josh's answer phone.
Josh sighs. Toby's been outside for an hour now. He followed him through the parking lot. He followed him out of the parking lot and then he followed him back to the apartment. Josh walks to the intercom and presses the button. A minute later Toby's stood at his front door. "What?" Josh asks.
Toby holds out a six pack of beer, which has two missing. "I started without you."
Josh hold the door open, "Come in then."
Toby walks into the lounge and sits on the sofa. The apartment's too quiet, there are empty beer bottles on the coffee table and, unusually, the TV's not on. Even when Josh was at his lowest after Rosslyn, he still insisted on watching the news. "What's going on?" Toby asks.
"If you mean work, then I'm hardly likely to know the answer to that, am I."
"So you thought you'd sit here and brood?"
"Actually no. I've made a decision."
"That's what I was afraid of."
"I know I screwed up. I'm the first to admit that it was a stupid thing to say in front of reporters. I know Leo's pissed as hell at me, and he's every right to be, as do you and CJ. But if he doesn't trust me to do the job anymore....."
"Who says he doesn't trust you?"
"He's checking everything I do. I'm virtually banned from meetings and from using my initiative. He's taken half my work away from me. Christ, Toby, he's got you and Will staffing the President."
"He's angry."
"It's more than that. He doesn't trust my judgment anymore. To be honest, and I may have too many of these," he adds an empty beer bottle to the ones already on the table, "I'm not sure I trust my judgment anymore. So in that case there's no point in my being there. Phillips wants my head, House Democrats want my head. I say give it to them."
"You want to be a martyr?"
"No. A martyr dies for his beliefs not his screw ups."
Toby's thought Josh looked tired since before his run in with Congressman Phillips. Now though, as he studies Josh's face, looks at his eyes, he sees it's more than that. "Are you alright?"
"Am I alright?"
"I mean... is everything alight, besides... work and Phillips." Toby watches Josh for a response, hoping he'll understand what he means without him having to say it. Although if he has to ask outright, he will. Hard as he finds it.
"Well my mom had her car stolen and my microwave broke, other than that......"
Toby glares at Josh. "Have you, are you sleeping?"
Josh looks down for a second and then back up at Toby. "You mean have I had any episodes?" he asks.
"Yeh."
"You think that could be an excuse for my behavior. 'Hey, it's OK he screwed up 'cos he's got PTSD.' You really think that'll make Leo trust me."
"I don't care about Leo," Toby snaps. "Forget work. I want to know.... yeh, I want to know if you've had any episodes. And don't lie to me......."
"I'm fine."
"Don't_lie_to_me," Toby shouts. "I thought we'd agreed. I thought you promised not to keep this stuff to yourself. When you can't deal with it alone, you..... you said you'd tell me."
Josh knows that. He knows that he'd made that promise to Toby after he was diagnosed. Toby is the one person he can talk to who doesn't fuss round him and check on him every five minutes. Normally Donna notices when he's having problems and he does talk to her, but he sometimes thinks that's more for Donna than himself, to stop her worrying. "The anniversary was hard this year."
"I know, I was there, but that was over a month ago."
"It started up again."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I couldn't."
"Why?"
"No one's been too keen to talk to me recently, Toby. You included," Josh snaps.
"That was work, this is.... Does Donna know?"
"I think so. She keeps bringing me coffee." A fleeting smile crosses Josh's face, "Although she does that when she thinks I'm about to be fired."
"You're not going to be fired. Josh, you have to talk to someone."
"I've talked to Stanley."
"And?"
"He wants me to go and see my therapist."
"Why haven't you?"
"I'd have to tell Leo where I was going."
"You think he wouldn't let you?"
Josh looks angry again. "I think his faith in me is possibly at the lowest ever and a trip to a psychiatrist may just destroy what little's left."
THURSDAY 11.45, WHITE HOUSE
"Leo."
"Mr President, I thought you'd left?"
"I came back. I want to talk to you, as a friend not your President."
"About what?"
"Josh." Jed sits down.
"Sir, I thought we'd covered this?"
Jed ignores Leo and carries on. "Do you remember just after Christmas last year, the remote prayer thing?"
"Yeh."
"You remember how strongly Josh argued for it?"
"Yeh, he didn't want to loose the vote."
"Nah, that wasn't it."
"I seem to remember you saying that to him. Something about babies and bubbles."
"No. That wasn't what I was going to say to him. After you'd all left I told him he'd toss it all overboard to avoid disappointing you. I told him that he wanted to be the guy the guy counted on."
"I think you're wrong."
"He didn't argue with me., which is pretty rare for Josh." Jed studies Leo. "Come on, Leo, we both know the reason he works so damn hard for this administration isn't just me, in fact it's mainly you. And he does work hard, too hard at times. Maybe you're right to reduce his work load. But I think you're wrong to shut him out."
"Sir, due respect...."
Jed looses his temper, "Screw your respect, Leo. Do you know how much you've hurt him. Have you looked at him lately?"
"So I'm suppose to let him say what he wants so as not to upset him, to massage his ego?" Leo asks.
"Of course not. And it's not ego massaging. He knows he's screwed up and he knows how pissed everyone is at him. None of you are as angry with him as he is with himself. God, Leo, I thought you cared about Josh."
"I do care about him. But this isn't personal. He didn't scratch my new car for God sake. This is work....."
"Yes and that's more important to you at times than people isn't it?" Jed asks angrily. "Jenny certainly realized that. Does Jordan know?"
"We really aren't President and Chief Of Staff at the moment are we?" Leo reply is equally angry. "You think I should go easy on Josh 'cos he needs my approval. He's not ten."
"I think you're being a lot harder on Josh than you would have been on Toby or CJ or Will. I think he's disappointed you and you're angry and I think you're making this personal even if you think you're not." Jed calms down and looks at his friend. "Josh can take being reprimanded as well as anyone, but you've hurt him, Leo. You've shut him out. You've got Toby and Will, Will who'd been here nine months, going to meetings with him. You've taken work off him. You're making him write reports on everything he does and get your approval before he takes any action. You're treating him like an intern."
"How I choose to use the staff is my decision. If you want me...."
"I'm not going to tell you to involve him in things again. That's your decision." Jed voice hardens, "But I want him staffing for me again. Toby and Will are fine, but I need Josh in there. No one can analyze the information and tell me how it affects everything else as quickly, accurately or honestly as Josh."
"I'll tell him tomorrow."
"Fine." Jed stands, he knows he's annoyed Leo and he's about to do it some more. "Assuming he's still here tomorrow."
"Meaning?"
"You think he's going to stay here if he thinks no one trusts him anymore, if he believes you've lost faith in him. If you're not careful, Leo, you, we, are going to loose him. I'll see you tomorrow."
FRIDAY MORNING, 6.00am, CoS OFFICE
When Toby walks into Leo's office he isn't surprised to find his boss is already working. "Do you have a minute?"
"You're in early."
"Yeh. I need to talk to you about Josh."
"Not you as well," Leo sighs. "Go on."
"I went to see him last night. He's pretty down, Leo." Toby had spent most of the night awake trying to decide what to do about Josh. He'd not wanted to leave him last night and he'd phone Donna and asked her to call round this morning. He knows he shouldn't be betraying Josh's confidence. He knows that Josh is right and Leo's faith in him has taken a battering. But he doesn't care. He's not willing to let the situation deteriorate to how it was at Christmas 2000.
"He's brooding," Leo tells him.
"No he isn't. I think.... He isn't sleeping. He's..... You knew he wasn't well around the anniversary."
"Yeh. He spoke to Stanley, he saw his therapist. He said he was okay."
"Yeh." Toby decides to leave that one for now and changes tactics. "He thinks you don't trust him anymore. I seriously think he's going to quit."
"Did he tell you that?"
"He told me you don't trust his judgment. Is he right?"
"No. I do trust him."
"Then what's going on? Because if you're just trying to punish him, you're doing a damn good job."
"You know I've already had this conversation with the President," Leo complains. "You really think he's going to quit?"
"What would you do if you thought you weren't trusted anymore? " Toby looses his temper and lets out what he's been bothering him all night. "You know he's told no one he's in trouble, that he's not sleeping, that he's..... he's told none of us because he figured we were pissed enough and PTSD on top of that would, to quote him, destroy what little faith we have left in him."
Leo's stunned by Toby's words and by his outburst. "I'll talk to him."
"It may be too late. You know Sam's thinking of running for the mayor's office?"
"Yeh. You think Josh would quit and go and work there?"
"I think it's a distinct possibility. I think Josh has reached the end of his tether, Leo. I think with everything that's happened over the last three years, this is maybe one thing too many."
"I'll talk to him."
8.00am CoS OFFICE
Josh doesn't say a word during senior staff. He sits in the corner of Leo's couch and, although he's half listening, he isn't interested. What's the point? None of it's going to involve him anyway. Donna knows what he's thinking of doing. She's told him to think about it some more, to give it more time. He agreed, to please her, but he doubts he's going to change his mind.
"Josh, Josh," Leo's saying. CJ nudges Josh who looks at Leo. "Wait behind," Leo tells him.
As CJ, Will and Toby walk back to their offices CJ asks, "Is Josh alright?"
"He doesn't look it," Will comments.
"My office," Toby tells them. Once the door's closed, Toby sits down and wonders what to say.
"Toby?" Will asks.
"He's thinking of quitting," Toby tells them.
"You're not serious?" CJ asks. "I know Leo's pissed at him, hell we're all pissed at him, but he wouldn't quit. Josh loves this job."
"Not recently he doesn't." Will says, "Anyway, I agree with him."
"You what?" CJ asks angrily, "You think he should quit?"
"No, of course I don't. But if I was being treated like he is, I'd quit," Will tells her.
"And so would you," Toby adds. "In fact you almost did."
"Yeh," CJ reluctantly agrees. "I know we've been hard on him, but he normally bounces right back."
"I don't think it's us," Toby says.
" Leo," CJ guesses.
"He thinks Leo doesn't trust him."
"Does Leo know that?" Will asks. "Because if he doesn't I think someone should tell him, before it's too late."
"You volunteering?" CJ asks.
"I already did," Toby tells them. "And so did the President, apparently."
"Then he'd better fix it, 'cos I don't think we can do this without Josh."
Once the other staff have left his office, Leo turns his attention to Josh. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine. What do you want?" Josh knows he's bordering on insolence, but he's past caring.
Leo stands and closes the office doors, before sitting in the chair across from Josh. "Tell me what's going on."
"Nothing," Josh says. "I'm not allowed to do anything without your permission, so until you tell me what to do, then nothing."
Leo ignores the sarcasm. "I didn't mean work."
"Then it's none of your business. Can I go now?" Josh goes to stand.
"No. Sit down. You think I'm being hard on you?" Leo asks.
"I screwed up, I know that. And you've made your position very clear."
As Leo looks at Josh he realizes that Jed was right. Josh is hurting. Leo didn't realize he had that sort of power over Josh, it's quite frightening and it worries him. If they're going to carry on working together he has to be able to reprimand Josh without Josh falling apart. But then Jed's right there as well, Josh can take criticism as well as anyone, so maybe there's more to this than he first though. He also realizes that Toby was right. "You don't look well, Josh."
Although he'd been seriously considering handing in his resignation there's a voice in the back of his mind, actually it's Donna's voice, telling him that he should think some more about it first. "I was going to ask for some leave next week."
"That's pretty sort notice."
"You think you'd miss me?" Josh asks quietly before his temper breaks free. "I could sit in my office all day and doing nothing and it'd make no difference. Some days I don't know why the hell I bother getting out of bed. If you don't trust me anymore, Leo, if the president doesn't trust me, then you should just tell me. I think you owe me that."
"Of course I trust you," Leo argues.
"Well you've got a damn funny way of showing it."
Leo had wanted to talk to Josh, to explain his actions, but Josh's attitude makes him angry. "You seem to be forgetting that while you work for me, you do as I tell you. This is your job. I don't owe you anything." Leo's well aware that he's gone too far. This is Josh for God's sake.
"Then it's a good job I serve at the pleasure of the president," Josh replies in a voice that's far too hard for Leo's liking. "Can I go?"
"The president wants you staffing for him today."
Josh looks at Leo and wonders who's idea that was, but decides he doesn't want to know.
An hour later and Leo's not been able to concentrate on anything. He goes to see Josh, to resolve this one way or another. He walks into his deputy's office and closes the door. "I think we need to talk."
"Go on."
Leo sighs and sits in the visitor's chair. "If I didn't trust you anymore, you wouldn't still be here." When Josh doesn't reply, Leo continues. "I've spent the last twelve days defending you, although it seems no one here's noticed," he can't help but comment. "I've kept you away from meetings, from the Oval Office, from the press, but not because I don't trust you. They wanted your head on a platter, Josh, I could have given it to them."
"Except that you won't give in to blackmail. Don't try and kid yourself you've been protecting me, rather than the administration. If that was the case you'd have told me." Josh reaches into his backpack and pulls an envelope out. "I told Donna I wouldn't do this until I'd thought about it some more. But there's nothing left to think about."
Leo takes the envelope off him, but doesn't open it. "I'm not accepting this. You're not resigning because Phillips won't come back to us."
"No I'm not. Phillips is an idiot who has his own agenda. Everything I said was right and you know it. I understand you couldn't defend me publicly, I didn't expect you to. But you shut me out. You treated me like, I don't know. I know you're angry with me. I'm angry with me. But I meant every word I said to Phillips. He's a bigot, he's hated me since I worked for Earl Brennan. You heard what I said to him, but you never thought to ask why, to ask what he'd said to me. You just assumed I'd gone off on one. So no matter how much you say you trust me, you don't. The administration is your priority, and that's fine. I don't care anymore. I'm not sure I've cared for sometime now. If you don't accept my resignation that's your prerogative, but you can't force me into work."
Leo stares at Josh and suddenly feels like he's loosing a part of himself. "What did he say to you?"
"It doesn't matter now, it's too late."
Leo leaves Josh's office and knows that this is almost beyond repairing. He can only think of one, maybe two people who can fix it. As much as he wishes he was on that list, he knows he has no chance. He walks to Toby's office. "I'm sorry, Will, can you give us a minute?"
"Sure." Will glances at Toby and leaves the office.
Leo sits down. "I know it's probably a little late to ask, but do you know what did Phillips said to Josh?"
"He wouldn't tell me," Toby admits. He'd asked Josh a couple of days ago, but Josh had told him that it wasn't important anymore. "Why?"
"Because... he must have baited him. Who else was there?"
"It was at the end of the meeting, I think they were alone but I can find out. Leo, what's happened?"
Leo stands and walks to the door. "He resigned."
"You haven't accepted?"
"Of course I haven't. But, as he quite rightly pointed out, I can hardly force him to come into work."
"I'll find out." After Leo's left, Toby goes to see Josh.
"He's in with the President," Donna tells him.
"Doing what?" Toby asks nervously.
"Staffing."
"Okay. Do you know who else was at the meeting with Phillips?"
"Not this again. I thought maybe we were moving on."
Toby glances around the bullpen, but no one's within earshot. "He resigned."
"What? He told me he'd wait." She leads Toby into Josh's office. "Do you know how hurt he feels. He waited for one of you to ask what happened, but no one did. The only ones who asked why he said that to Phillips were Charlie and Sam."
"Did he tell them?"
"I don't know."
"Did he tell you?"
"Yes, but he made me promise to say nothing."
"What did he say?"
"Him and Josh have a history going back years, you know that?"
"Yeh."
The final meeting in the Oval Office is over and Josh gathers his papers. Jed walks behind his desk and smiles at Josh. "Don't tell Toby or Will, but that was better."
Josh smiles a little sadly, "Thank you, Sir."
"Josh, you're not thinking of doing anything stupid are you?"
"More stupid than normal, Sir?" Josh asks.
"I'm serious, Josh. This administration needs you, I need you."
"This was your idea then?"
"What did he say to you?"
"Who?"
"Congressman Phillips, what did he say to you? I know he baited you."
"It's not important, I shouldn't have reacted like I did."
"I can order you to tell me," Jed smiles.
"It doesn't matter now, I've already given Leo my resignation."
Jed smile fades and he stares at Josh. "You can't be serious." Jed glances at Leo office. "He hasn't accepted, surely?"
"No."
"Good. I know we were all angry...."
"Sir, I don't care whether you're all angry with me for the rest of the term. I can't work were I'm not trusted."
"This should have been handled differently. It can't be too late surely?"
Josh watches Jed. He can't quite believe that the President is virtually pleading with him not to quit. "Sir, you once told me that the staff have to trust Leo more than you. Well that applies the other way. He automatically assumed that I said that to Phillips for no reason, that I was just sounding off. He never once considered.... It doesn't matter anymore."
"Yes it does, Josh. Even if you're intent on leaving, it still matters. You can't leave things like this with Leo."
"You think the ball's in my court?"
"No it's in his," Jed admits. "But you have to be prepared to listen to him."