Foreword: right, this is supposed to be Faramir singing about Éowyn, and
how she's preoccupied with Aragorn. Please don't kill me; I just took a
notion this morning.

Okay, this is to the tune of "Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by Bowling for
Soup. Enjoy and don't flame please.

----------------------

Nearly noon, Monday morn and I'm waiting
to finally talk to a girl a little nobler than me.
Her name is Éowyn; she's a warrior with blonde hair;
She wears no corset, but I'm not quite sure what that means.

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing,
But she doesn't notice me,
Cause she's watching the East,
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to war songs,
Flash of swords in her eyes

It's like a bad movie
She is looking through me
If you were me then you'd be
Screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
As I fail miserably,
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
She's the girl that wants the King.

She likes the battlefield and I like tales of lore,
Her minstrel's mind is full of singers that are mad at the world
She says she'd like to score some valour and a queenship
She'll never know that I'm the best that she'll never have.

And when she walks,
All the wind blows and the angels sing,
But she doesn't notice me,
Cause she's watching the East,
Creaming over tough guys
Listening to war songs,
Flash of swords in her eyes

She likes 'em with a bright sword
Sceptre of Annúminas
Waiting for a kingdom
Does stewardship make a man?

It's like a bad movie
She is looking through me
If you were me then you'd be
Screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
As I fail miserably,
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
She's the girl that wants the King.
She's the girl that wants the King.

There she goes again
With chain mail on, a war helm on her hair
She breaks my heart, I wanna be sedated
All I wanted was to see her naked!

Now I am watching the east
Trying to be a tough guy
Listening to war songs
Flash of swords in my eyes
I can't find a bright sword
And I ain't got no Sceptre of Annúminas
All I got's a steward's rod...

It's like a bad movie
She is looking through me
If you were me then you'd be
Screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
As I fail miserably,
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
(There she goes again)
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
(There she goes again)
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.
Trying to get the girl that wants the King.