CHRISTMAS PAST:
Heartbreak
(Christmas Eve. . . )
"Merry Christmas, boss!"
"Go home, Jaken!"
"Sorry, boss!"
"Whatever!"
InuYasha couldn't stand it. The green and the red, the stupid little decorations Miyouga insisted on putting up. Christmas. Feh. Who needed it? After tomorrow they'll just take everything down, anyway. All of the rushing around, wasting money on gifts, children becoming ungrateful, spoiled little brats. All of it for one day out of each year.
InuYasha straightened his desk and grabbed his briefcase. He locked his office up nice and tight, and walked out into the main office. The last person in the room, his brother Sesshoumaru sat at his desk, finishing up some last minute work.
"Are you done, yet?" InuYasha growled.
"Almost. . . "
"Well, hurry up. It's late. I want some sleep."
Sesshoumaru finished and quickly shut his computer down, then cleaned up his work space. When he finished, he joined InuYasha at the door. Work hours were over, so he addressed his brother informally. "InuYasha."
"What?"
"You know. . . you are still invited to dinner tomorrow. Kagome insists on your being there. And Kikyou-"
InuYasha held up a hand for silence. "Whatever. Don't expect me to be there. I have more important things to worry about."
Sesshoumaru said nothing, but nodded slightly.
InuYasha walked out the door and closed it after Sesshoumaru. He locked it and for his parting words, he said, "Thursday, brother. I expect you to be here."
"Yes, sir."
Sesshoumaru began to walk home, but then he stopped and yelled after his brother. "InuYasha."
InuYasha stopped and turned around, his face barely showing any interest in his brother.
"Merry Christmas."
"Feh. Whatever." InuYasha, turned back around and began walking again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snow fell on everything. It fell on the rooftops, the dimly lit street lamps, the mailboxes, and the sidewalks. And it was as cold as InuYasha's heart.
But he didn't seem to notice. He was at the height of his career, and things couldn't be better. He was making all the money a banker could, and that made him happy.
Then that annoying little kid, Shippou was his name, stopped him.
"InuYasha, sir?"
"Whaddya want, kid? I ain't got time for shrimp like you."
Shippou held out a jar filled with crumpled fives and ones, and some change at the bottom. A printed label glued around the jar showed the words "Kaede's Orphanage: Christmas Dinner." The kid spoke confidently. "Would you be willing to donate some money to the orphanage for Christmas dinner?"
"Hell, no, kid. Get out of my way."
"Not even a dime?"
"No."
"Please, sir?"
"I said get out of my way, kid!"
And with that, little Shippou did. InuYasha walked on without a backward glance.
He pushed his free gloved hand deeper into his woolen coat pocket and shivered a little, unconsciously. 'There are wreaths hanging on the fuckin' street lamps.' He thought to himself. 'Christmas wreaths.' "Feh."
He reached his three story, narrow house that sat between a bakery and an upscale apartment building. He stepped into the warm inside and removed his coat, and locked his briefcase in his office upstairs. He showered and changed into some warmer pajamas, and began to read his book.
The clock was nearing 9:30 when InuYasha decided to go to bed.
As he drifted off to sleep, he could hear sleigh bells jingling merrily on passing rental horse carriages. "Christmas. Feh." he grumbled as unconsciousness slowly took over.
Then, the sleigh bells' sound began to warp into something larger and heavier-sounding. Like something me tal being dragged on the floor, something very heavy. To InuYasha's sleepy mind, it sounded like chains a prisoner would've worn many years ago, but his rationality quickly dismissed the thought. The sound continued, soft at first, then it grew louder, pulling InuYasha back out of sleep with every 'clunk-chink. clunk- chink.'
"What the hell?" InuYasha growled to the darkness. By that time the sound was in the room, and it stopped just feet away from his own bed. The hair on InuYasha's arms and neck stood on end at the sudden cold feeling in the room. 'How could someone be in here?!' his mind thought wildly. 'I locked the place up! Well, whoever it is, they sure as hell are gonna get it!'
InuYasha slowly reached over, blindly finding the switch on his lamp. He was ready. The light switched on, and InuYasha blinked courageously b at the figure before him.
Then fear took him. His former - dead - colleague stood before him. He was clad in grey from head to toe. Even his skin looked grey. And the chains. . . the heavy chains on his wrists and ankles were unmistakable, verifying the noise he'd heard moments before. InuYasha couldn't keep the fear out of his voice when he spoke. "M - Miroku? What the fuhh. . . but - but you're-"
"Dead? Yes, I know. It's a pity. But, you! You look well, InuYasha."
"What the hell is going on?" InuYasha's eyes stared in wide shock at the figure before him. "Am I dreaming?"
"No, you're not. Because if you were, you wouldn't be asking me that."
"Well. . . well what do you want?"
"Do you see these chains, InuYasha? I'm in purgatory. Isn't that nice? I'm carrying my 'mistakes' with me. My sins. The heavens cannot decide if they should let me in. They are testing me. I have come here to ask a favor of you, my dear friend, InuYasha."
"Well - what is it, Miroku?"
"My test is to help you change your ways. You've grown greedy and hateful, InuYasha. I'm also here to warn you. If you die, you'll die as I did. You'll carry your mistakes with you into your next life. I don't want that to happen to you, Friend. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. . . for now, anyway. If you can change, InuYasha, I will be freed of my chains and allowed into Heaven."
"Heaven? You mean. . . God is. . ."
"Real? Yes. He is very much real. And He sees you every day, InuYasha. And He wants me to remember you something that may make you change your hateful ways and make you realize the Spirit of Christmas."
"Christmas? Feh."
"You see?! There, you just did it!" Miroku exclaimed suddenly, pointing a grey finger at his former colleague.
"Did what?"
"'Feh.' They hate it when you say that!'
"They who?"
Miroku then pointed the finger skywards. "*They,* InuYasha! Him, He, and His Angels! They want you to change! There is so much you are shutting out! You were once so kind, InuYasha. What happened to you?"
InuYasha shifted uncomfortably under his sheets, trying to adjust to the fact that his dead best friend was standing just two feet away from his bed. "I - Nothing was the same. . . after you died."
"You've turned so cold. . . " Miroku reached out and touched his friend's warm face with cold fingers. "That is not you. That is not who you truly are, InuYasha."
"Hey!" InuYasha jerked away from the coldness on his face.
Miroku sighed, and looked at his fingers. "I know. . . they are so cold. I am always so cold. But so are you. I will be freed of all of this if you can change." Miroku said again.
InuYasha said nothing, but instead stared at the air between them.
After a stretch of silence, Miroku spoke. "Come here, InuYasha." He walked to the window and looked out. InuYasha cautiously got up and walked over, joining his deceased companion at the window. He looked out on the snowy street and asked, "So?"
Miroku just "shhhh'd" him and continued to stare out the window. Or rather, InuYasha realized, *at* the window.
What was he doing?
InuYasha peeled his eyes away from Miroku and settled a stare onto the frosty glass. Then the glass. . . *moved*. It was the only way he could describe it. It just *moved*, and then, it * lurched*. InuYasha yelped. "What the-!!"
The window began to morph and grow larger, and the air around him grew colder. His bedroom walls melted away, all except for the window, and he found himself standing outside of the old bar he and Miroku used to spend their time in during their college days, only five years ago.
In front of him was the newly formed window, now very large, and looking in, he could see, to his surprise, himself, five years ago, dancing to a fast Christmas song with. . . with. . .
"Kikyou." InuYasha just stared.
"Yes," Miroku said, finally turning his gaze from the window to InuYasha. "It is the year 1998. Our Senior year of college, Christmas Eve. Surly you remember this party? My Big Holiday Bash? There I am in the back there, harassing some poor girl. . ."
InuYasha was just barely listening to Miroku, for his gaze was on Kikyou. He hadn't seen her since this night. And she still looked so beautiful to him. . . obviously, his feelings for her had not faded. He watched her, his present self and his past self, as she sang along with the music, dancing, her arms around his past self's neck.
"'Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, You gave it away. This year, To save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special,'" she was singing with the music.
InuYasha could only sigh as he watched the image from the past, an empty ache growing in his chest.
"So, you are still in love with her."
InuYasha started, and looked at Miroku. "What?"
"You are still in love with Kikyou. Oh, don't give me that dumb look, InuYasha. I knew you were in love with her. I am not stupid."
"So, I am - *was*. Your point?"
"Watch this." was all Miroku said.
InuYasha turned back to the window just in time to see Kikyou pull his past self out of the door and onto the front steps that led into the club.
He and Miroku rounded the corner of the building so they could see. InuYasha watched Kikyou as she shivered, and his past self wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "What is it, Kikyou?"
"I wanted to tell you that. . . well. . . it's something pretty important. And it's hard. For me to say it. InuYasha, I -"
"OH!" the past InuYasha suddenly exclaimed. He looked around to his waist and pulled a beeper off of his belt loop. "Had it on vibrate," he said sheepishly.
Kikyou sighed, annoyed at the interruption. The past InuYasha looked at the small screen on the beeper and said, "Damn! They need me at the bank. Can this wait?"
"No, InuYasha. It can't." Kikyou's voice sounded deeper, and it broke with every other word.
And the present InuYasha was beginning to recognize this.
But his past self looked at her and inquired, "Well, what is it? Hurry, they really need me."
"I'm trying to tell you I love you!" Kikyou yelled abruptly.
InuYasha watched his own jaw drop. "You. . . what?"
"I love you, InuYasha. Please don't leave tonight. This is important to me. . . It's Christmas Eve."
"Yeah. . . but," his former self held up the beeper, "*this* is important to *me*."
Kikyou's eyes narrowed. "So you are telling me that your work is more important than me?"
"Well. . . I. . . they really need me right know. " He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and started to walk away.
"InuYasha." Kikyou tried to stop him. "If you walk away now, if you leave, you can consider us over. Finished."
And with that, his former self stopped. He turned around to face her. "What?"
"You heard me."
"You're being ridiculous."
"I'm not. You always do this. Whenever work calls you, you leave me. I can't take it anymore. I love you so much, but you always leave me alone. Is my heart not enough for you?" The former InuYasha's eyes narrowed into a glare. "Your heart cannot pay the bills."
Kikyou's jaw dropped, and she stared at him with an expression that was so hurt, even the coldest man would've softened. But the former InuYasha wasn't cold; he was stupid. "Fine." he said, and he walked away. "We're over, then. Tell Miroku I left early," he yelled over his shoulder.
Now, Kikyou just stood there by herself, frozen to the spot. She stared after him, then put a hand over her mouth, and began to cry.
Today's InuYasha watched her cry with a twinge in his chest he had not felt in a long time. It was. . . sorrow.
The ground began to shift suddenly, and Kikyou's form swirled into the background, and the background swirled back into his bedroom walls. He turned to look at the window, and it was back to normal, as well. The temperature was warm once again.
"You were an idiot." Miroku said, turning to him.
"Yeah. . . " InuYasha's eyebrows were drawn together. "I don't see what the point of showing me that was. It just brought up a painful memory."
"What I wanted to show you is how quickly you can lose something that is important to you. In this case, it was Kikyou. You will keep losing these things if you do not change, InuYasha."
"That didn't work, Miroku," a female voice suddenly said from somewhere in the room. InuYasha and Miroku both turned to the bed, and there sat a very pretty woman with long, black hair swept up into a ponytail. Her eyes were lined with red makeup, and she wore a tight, silky red, Japanese kimono.
"Well!" Miroku exclaimed. "It's you!"
"Who are you?" InuYasha asked.
"I am Sango." the woman replied. "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."
Heartbreak
(Christmas Eve. . . )
"Merry Christmas, boss!"
"Go home, Jaken!"
"Sorry, boss!"
"Whatever!"
InuYasha couldn't stand it. The green and the red, the stupid little decorations Miyouga insisted on putting up. Christmas. Feh. Who needed it? After tomorrow they'll just take everything down, anyway. All of the rushing around, wasting money on gifts, children becoming ungrateful, spoiled little brats. All of it for one day out of each year.
InuYasha straightened his desk and grabbed his briefcase. He locked his office up nice and tight, and walked out into the main office. The last person in the room, his brother Sesshoumaru sat at his desk, finishing up some last minute work.
"Are you done, yet?" InuYasha growled.
"Almost. . . "
"Well, hurry up. It's late. I want some sleep."
Sesshoumaru finished and quickly shut his computer down, then cleaned up his work space. When he finished, he joined InuYasha at the door. Work hours were over, so he addressed his brother informally. "InuYasha."
"What?"
"You know. . . you are still invited to dinner tomorrow. Kagome insists on your being there. And Kikyou-"
InuYasha held up a hand for silence. "Whatever. Don't expect me to be there. I have more important things to worry about."
Sesshoumaru said nothing, but nodded slightly.
InuYasha walked out the door and closed it after Sesshoumaru. He locked it and for his parting words, he said, "Thursday, brother. I expect you to be here."
"Yes, sir."
Sesshoumaru began to walk home, but then he stopped and yelled after his brother. "InuYasha."
InuYasha stopped and turned around, his face barely showing any interest in his brother.
"Merry Christmas."
"Feh. Whatever." InuYasha, turned back around and began walking again.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Snow fell on everything. It fell on the rooftops, the dimly lit street lamps, the mailboxes, and the sidewalks. And it was as cold as InuYasha's heart.
But he didn't seem to notice. He was at the height of his career, and things couldn't be better. He was making all the money a banker could, and that made him happy.
Then that annoying little kid, Shippou was his name, stopped him.
"InuYasha, sir?"
"Whaddya want, kid? I ain't got time for shrimp like you."
Shippou held out a jar filled with crumpled fives and ones, and some change at the bottom. A printed label glued around the jar showed the words "Kaede's Orphanage: Christmas Dinner." The kid spoke confidently. "Would you be willing to donate some money to the orphanage for Christmas dinner?"
"Hell, no, kid. Get out of my way."
"Not even a dime?"
"No."
"Please, sir?"
"I said get out of my way, kid!"
And with that, little Shippou did. InuYasha walked on without a backward glance.
He pushed his free gloved hand deeper into his woolen coat pocket and shivered a little, unconsciously. 'There are wreaths hanging on the fuckin' street lamps.' He thought to himself. 'Christmas wreaths.' "Feh."
He reached his three story, narrow house that sat between a bakery and an upscale apartment building. He stepped into the warm inside and removed his coat, and locked his briefcase in his office upstairs. He showered and changed into some warmer pajamas, and began to read his book.
The clock was nearing 9:30 when InuYasha decided to go to bed.
As he drifted off to sleep, he could hear sleigh bells jingling merrily on passing rental horse carriages. "Christmas. Feh." he grumbled as unconsciousness slowly took over.
Then, the sleigh bells' sound began to warp into something larger and heavier-sounding. Like something me tal being dragged on the floor, something very heavy. To InuYasha's sleepy mind, it sounded like chains a prisoner would've worn many years ago, but his rationality quickly dismissed the thought. The sound continued, soft at first, then it grew louder, pulling InuYasha back out of sleep with every 'clunk-chink. clunk- chink.'
"What the hell?" InuYasha growled to the darkness. By that time the sound was in the room, and it stopped just feet away from his own bed. The hair on InuYasha's arms and neck stood on end at the sudden cold feeling in the room. 'How could someone be in here?!' his mind thought wildly. 'I locked the place up! Well, whoever it is, they sure as hell are gonna get it!'
InuYasha slowly reached over, blindly finding the switch on his lamp. He was ready. The light switched on, and InuYasha blinked courageously b at the figure before him.
Then fear took him. His former - dead - colleague stood before him. He was clad in grey from head to toe. Even his skin looked grey. And the chains. . . the heavy chains on his wrists and ankles were unmistakable, verifying the noise he'd heard moments before. InuYasha couldn't keep the fear out of his voice when he spoke. "M - Miroku? What the fuhh. . . but - but you're-"
"Dead? Yes, I know. It's a pity. But, you! You look well, InuYasha."
"What the hell is going on?" InuYasha's eyes stared in wide shock at the figure before him. "Am I dreaming?"
"No, you're not. Because if you were, you wouldn't be asking me that."
"Well. . . well what do you want?"
"Do you see these chains, InuYasha? I'm in purgatory. Isn't that nice? I'm carrying my 'mistakes' with me. My sins. The heavens cannot decide if they should let me in. They are testing me. I have come here to ask a favor of you, my dear friend, InuYasha."
"Well - what is it, Miroku?"
"My test is to help you change your ways. You've grown greedy and hateful, InuYasha. I'm also here to warn you. If you die, you'll die as I did. You'll carry your mistakes with you into your next life. I don't want that to happen to you, Friend. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past. . . for now, anyway. If you can change, InuYasha, I will be freed of my chains and allowed into Heaven."
"Heaven? You mean. . . God is. . ."
"Real? Yes. He is very much real. And He sees you every day, InuYasha. And He wants me to remember you something that may make you change your hateful ways and make you realize the Spirit of Christmas."
"Christmas? Feh."
"You see?! There, you just did it!" Miroku exclaimed suddenly, pointing a grey finger at his former colleague.
"Did what?"
"'Feh.' They hate it when you say that!'
"They who?"
Miroku then pointed the finger skywards. "*They,* InuYasha! Him, He, and His Angels! They want you to change! There is so much you are shutting out! You were once so kind, InuYasha. What happened to you?"
InuYasha shifted uncomfortably under his sheets, trying to adjust to the fact that his dead best friend was standing just two feet away from his bed. "I - Nothing was the same. . . after you died."
"You've turned so cold. . . " Miroku reached out and touched his friend's warm face with cold fingers. "That is not you. That is not who you truly are, InuYasha."
"Hey!" InuYasha jerked away from the coldness on his face.
Miroku sighed, and looked at his fingers. "I know. . . they are so cold. I am always so cold. But so are you. I will be freed of all of this if you can change." Miroku said again.
InuYasha said nothing, but instead stared at the air between them.
After a stretch of silence, Miroku spoke. "Come here, InuYasha." He walked to the window and looked out. InuYasha cautiously got up and walked over, joining his deceased companion at the window. He looked out on the snowy street and asked, "So?"
Miroku just "shhhh'd" him and continued to stare out the window. Or rather, InuYasha realized, *at* the window.
What was he doing?
InuYasha peeled his eyes away from Miroku and settled a stare onto the frosty glass. Then the glass. . . *moved*. It was the only way he could describe it. It just *moved*, and then, it * lurched*. InuYasha yelped. "What the-!!"
The window began to morph and grow larger, and the air around him grew colder. His bedroom walls melted away, all except for the window, and he found himself standing outside of the old bar he and Miroku used to spend their time in during their college days, only five years ago.
In front of him was the newly formed window, now very large, and looking in, he could see, to his surprise, himself, five years ago, dancing to a fast Christmas song with. . . with. . .
"Kikyou." InuYasha just stared.
"Yes," Miroku said, finally turning his gaze from the window to InuYasha. "It is the year 1998. Our Senior year of college, Christmas Eve. Surly you remember this party? My Big Holiday Bash? There I am in the back there, harassing some poor girl. . ."
InuYasha was just barely listening to Miroku, for his gaze was on Kikyou. He hadn't seen her since this night. And she still looked so beautiful to him. . . obviously, his feelings for her had not faded. He watched her, his present self and his past self, as she sang along with the music, dancing, her arms around his past self's neck.
"'Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, You gave it away. This year, To save me from tears, I'll give it to someone special,'" she was singing with the music.
InuYasha could only sigh as he watched the image from the past, an empty ache growing in his chest.
"So, you are still in love with her."
InuYasha started, and looked at Miroku. "What?"
"You are still in love with Kikyou. Oh, don't give me that dumb look, InuYasha. I knew you were in love with her. I am not stupid."
"So, I am - *was*. Your point?"
"Watch this." was all Miroku said.
InuYasha turned back to the window just in time to see Kikyou pull his past self out of the door and onto the front steps that led into the club.
He and Miroku rounded the corner of the building so they could see. InuYasha watched Kikyou as she shivered, and his past self wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "What is it, Kikyou?"
"I wanted to tell you that. . . well. . . it's something pretty important. And it's hard. For me to say it. InuYasha, I -"
"OH!" the past InuYasha suddenly exclaimed. He looked around to his waist and pulled a beeper off of his belt loop. "Had it on vibrate," he said sheepishly.
Kikyou sighed, annoyed at the interruption. The past InuYasha looked at the small screen on the beeper and said, "Damn! They need me at the bank. Can this wait?"
"No, InuYasha. It can't." Kikyou's voice sounded deeper, and it broke with every other word.
And the present InuYasha was beginning to recognize this.
But his past self looked at her and inquired, "Well, what is it? Hurry, they really need me."
"I'm trying to tell you I love you!" Kikyou yelled abruptly.
InuYasha watched his own jaw drop. "You. . . what?"
"I love you, InuYasha. Please don't leave tonight. This is important to me. . . It's Christmas Eve."
"Yeah. . . but," his former self held up the beeper, "*this* is important to *me*."
Kikyou's eyes narrowed. "So you are telling me that your work is more important than me?"
"Well. . . I. . . they really need me right know. " He placed a quick kiss on her cheek and started to walk away.
"InuYasha." Kikyou tried to stop him. "If you walk away now, if you leave, you can consider us over. Finished."
And with that, his former self stopped. He turned around to face her. "What?"
"You heard me."
"You're being ridiculous."
"I'm not. You always do this. Whenever work calls you, you leave me. I can't take it anymore. I love you so much, but you always leave me alone. Is my heart not enough for you?" The former InuYasha's eyes narrowed into a glare. "Your heart cannot pay the bills."
Kikyou's jaw dropped, and she stared at him with an expression that was so hurt, even the coldest man would've softened. But the former InuYasha wasn't cold; he was stupid. "Fine." he said, and he walked away. "We're over, then. Tell Miroku I left early," he yelled over his shoulder.
Now, Kikyou just stood there by herself, frozen to the spot. She stared after him, then put a hand over her mouth, and began to cry.
Today's InuYasha watched her cry with a twinge in his chest he had not felt in a long time. It was. . . sorrow.
The ground began to shift suddenly, and Kikyou's form swirled into the background, and the background swirled back into his bedroom walls. He turned to look at the window, and it was back to normal, as well. The temperature was warm once again.
"You were an idiot." Miroku said, turning to him.
"Yeah. . . " InuYasha's eyebrows were drawn together. "I don't see what the point of showing me that was. It just brought up a painful memory."
"What I wanted to show you is how quickly you can lose something that is important to you. In this case, it was Kikyou. You will keep losing these things if you do not change, InuYasha."
"That didn't work, Miroku," a female voice suddenly said from somewhere in the room. InuYasha and Miroku both turned to the bed, and there sat a very pretty woman with long, black hair swept up into a ponytail. Her eyes were lined with red makeup, and she wore a tight, silky red, Japanese kimono.
"Well!" Miroku exclaimed. "It's you!"
"Who are you?" InuYasha asked.
"I am Sango." the woman replied. "I am the Ghost of Christmas Present."