Disclaimer::: I only own the parachutes. Actually, I don't even know what a
parachute looks like. Oh nevermind, the point is LOTR belongs to me! *crazy
old man runs at me with a gun* okay, now it all belongs to tolkien *crazy
old man with gun turns around and runs back to his study and continues to
write really coolio books!* *I kno Tolkiens dead but oh well*
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Everyone landed safely, even RW 4's ladybug friends.
The 6 ringwraiths gathered themselves together and straggled to Rivendell's main gate. The only one still in good spirits was the Witchking.
"Don't worry boys, I hear that Elrond's visitors are always pampered. Down mattresses, all the food and wine you can eat/drink, and lots of hott elf babes" said the Witchking in attempt to raise their spirits. Everyone perked up amazingly, and soon they were all chatting over potatoes or steak, blondes or brunettes, blue sheets or green.
After about 15 minutes, they arrived at the main gate, and the Witchking banged sharply on the door.
Suudenly, the gates flew open and a short, wrinkly, spunky old man burst out.
"I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD COME A DAY WHEN I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO WELCOME SUCH PATHETIC....UMMMMMM.....RINGWRAITHS INTO MY CITY!!!!!!!!!!! 7 HOURS LATE, MY FELLOWSHIP IS SICK OF WAITING FOR YOU! AND I ONLY COUNT 6! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 9!!!! DON'T TELL ME SOME OF YOU WANTED TO STAY HOME AND NAP!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the old man at the top of his lungs. He had surprisingly large lungs, capable of a surprisingly loud scream, and everyone stared in shocked silence.
"So much for elven babes" mumbled RW 2 to RW 1
"That nap isn't sounding so bad now" replied RW 1
"DON'T WHISPER!!! I HAVE GOOD HEARING, AND NO, THERE WON'T BE ANY ELVEN 'BABES', AS YOU CALL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now shut up, all of you, and come in. By the way, my name is Elrond"
The Ringwraiths, considerably humbled, followed Elrond into the fair city of Rivendell.
A/N::: my Elrond looks nothing like in the movie. My Elrond is short and wiry, like Ghandi, and is very wrinkled, but is seemingly ageless. He has never ceasing energy, and he is extremely energetic. Back to the story!!!!!!!!!
The ringwraiths, bewildered by the wrath of Elrond, followed him meekly. They wandered through a maze of a city, and all the elves on the streets stopped and stared at them as they walked by.
Now, you may think that ringwraiths are very strong, and good travelers. Actually, they were. But when Sauron provided them with flying steeds, they became increasingly lazy. The only one in good physical was RW 3, thanks to many hours spent surfing on weekends.
And like I said, Elrond is extremely energetic, and he walked very quickly. The further they went, the faster he walked. Soon all of the ringwraiths were panting and sweaty.
"For God's sake, you creatures are a horrible mess. No stamina, no motivation. Ah well, we are almost there. When we arrive there will be a supper prepared. No great feast, that won't come until after the matches have been made. You will have to get acquainted with my Fellowship, and Sauron will want a word will you. Off we go!" announced Elrond shrilly, as he turned a corner and hurried off again.
"I can't go on much longer, and neither can Miss Patty, or Miss Pam, or Miss Laila, or Miss Rita, or Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily" panted RW 4.
"Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily? Lesbian ladybugs? That's a new one" said RW 1 sarcastically.
"Hey! Just because they made a different choice than you doesn't mean that you can make fun of them!" RW 4 shot back angrily.
"How do you know that I made a different choice!" cried RW 1, as he blushed.
Everyone else gasped, even Elrond.
"Oh great, that screws things up. We can't have a gay ringwraith mentor a member of the Fellowship, especially since they're all male" said Elrond, "Oh well, no time now, get going boys" announced Elrond as he popped his head back around the corner.
Breathing heavily(except for RW 3) everyone got up and followed after Elrond. After about 5 minutes, Elrond stopped in front of a large house, and opened the gate for the ringwraiths.
"Welcome, my friends, to the main court of Rivendell"
The ringwraiths looked around in amazement, as they had heard a lot about the main stronghold of the elves.
The gate opened to a courtyard, with many trees. Some were shimmering green, yet many looked to be of gold or silver in the fading light. Except for the gate, the courtyard was surrounded by a large house, and lined by many doors. Rivendell was a place of peace and happiness, and locks and keys were not necessary.
Elves as darting and silent as shadows stepped out from behind trees to take the coats and packs of the ringwraiths. This luggage they handed to other elves that came out from one of the doors.
"Now I will permit you to enter the Last Homely House, and you should feel honored. This group of 6 is second only to their Master Sauron, to be let openly in the door, though you are from the realm of Mordor" spoke Elrond ceremoniously, and his voice cut through the dark and the silence like a knife.
With that, the Ringwraiths headed towards one of the larger doors, which was held open by an elf.
"MUA-HA-HA-HA!!! Now you shall feel the wrath of Elrond!!!!!" screamed Elrond rather unexpectedly. Everyone stared, just a little bit disturbed.
As the ringwraiths entered the Last Homely House, the sound of a fiddle came to them. They walked down a long hallway, the music and other bustling noises growing steadily louder. Suddenly, they came into a large hallway, full, yet not too crowded, with countless elves, men, and one dwarf.
The ringwraiths could only stare in shock at the merriment surrounding them. Behind them, Elrond gaped. Apparently, this was not welcome he had expected. He bustled away hurriedly.
"Hallo there. My names Pippin, and this here is my friend Merry. Tis a pleasure to meet you" said a short, childish looking man jovially.
"Pleasure...I'm charmed to acquaint with you...." muttered another of the short men.
"Don't let Merry bother you, he's bloody drunk. I was just about to drag him off to the bathroom and splash a bit of water over his noggin. You see, he has discovered a wonderful thing. A pint!" said Pippin, as he raised a big glass full of ale, and with that he dragged his 'bloody drunk' friend off to the sink.
"Well, we may as well enjoy ourselves, as there isn't much else to do" said the Witchking, eyeing a bar at the far end of the hall, "I think I'll go investigate that pint the little man with the English accent was talking about"
Soon, the ringwraiths were dancing to fiddle, drinking, or talking to the large company that had gathered. Elvish babes were plentiful, contrary to Elrond's words. At about 10 o'clock, everything seemed to quiet down a bit, and those not residents of the Last Homely House dispersed to their homes elsewhere in the city. The time for singing and storytelling began.
So this is how the ringwraiths spent the beginning of their time in Rivendell. And already, they had somehow changed.
After a few hours of quieter, sleepier merriment, everyone headed off to their own rooms. Elrond was nowhere to be found. RW 2 called his name loudly, but still no Elrond. But seemingly responding to the call, 6 elves stepped once more from the shadows, and led each ringwraith to his room.
But, each RW found a note in calligraphy so perfect you would be infuriated taped to their door. The note said:
Listen up, boys. I meant to show you the cold shoulder, so you could see that Rivendell isn't all fun & games, and so that maybe you would understand the importance of punctuality, and impressions. It is not a good first impression for me to see the RW's, supposedly "hard core" and reliable showing up 7 hours late, and parachuting from a pink fluffy cloud. Plus, three of you aren't even here!!!!!!!! You will pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, I cannot hurt you until after you have mentored the Fellowship. So, if you guys do a good job, and make a better impression on them than on me, then you will not be punished.
Sincerely,
Elrond
It was a deep sleep that they had that night, and the beginning of a time in their lives that they would remember forever. Hmmm....how will they remember this time of their lives? And was the sleep deep due to contentment, or too many swigs of tequila???
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I'm sorry that wasn't very humorful, but I had to have at least one mushy chapter full of peace, happiness, and ale!!!
Sorry its taken me soooooooo long to write this but oh well cuz its here now!!!
R&R, PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REIVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everyone landed safely, even RW 4's ladybug friends.
The 6 ringwraiths gathered themselves together and straggled to Rivendell's main gate. The only one still in good spirits was the Witchking.
"Don't worry boys, I hear that Elrond's visitors are always pampered. Down mattresses, all the food and wine you can eat/drink, and lots of hott elf babes" said the Witchking in attempt to raise their spirits. Everyone perked up amazingly, and soon they were all chatting over potatoes or steak, blondes or brunettes, blue sheets or green.
After about 15 minutes, they arrived at the main gate, and the Witchking banged sharply on the door.
Suudenly, the gates flew open and a short, wrinkly, spunky old man burst out.
"I NEVER THOUGHT THERE WOULD COME A DAY WHEN I WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE TO WELCOME SUCH PATHETIC....UMMMMMM.....RINGWRAITHS INTO MY CITY!!!!!!!!!!! 7 HOURS LATE, MY FELLOWSHIP IS SICK OF WAITING FOR YOU! AND I ONLY COUNT 6! THERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE 9!!!! DON'T TELL ME SOME OF YOU WANTED TO STAY HOME AND NAP!!!!!!!!!!" screamed the old man at the top of his lungs. He had surprisingly large lungs, capable of a surprisingly loud scream, and everyone stared in shocked silence.
"So much for elven babes" mumbled RW 2 to RW 1
"That nap isn't sounding so bad now" replied RW 1
"DON'T WHISPER!!! I HAVE GOOD HEARING, AND NO, THERE WON'T BE ANY ELVEN 'BABES', AS YOU CALL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now shut up, all of you, and come in. By the way, my name is Elrond"
The Ringwraiths, considerably humbled, followed Elrond into the fair city of Rivendell.
A/N::: my Elrond looks nothing like in the movie. My Elrond is short and wiry, like Ghandi, and is very wrinkled, but is seemingly ageless. He has never ceasing energy, and he is extremely energetic. Back to the story!!!!!!!!!
The ringwraiths, bewildered by the wrath of Elrond, followed him meekly. They wandered through a maze of a city, and all the elves on the streets stopped and stared at them as they walked by.
Now, you may think that ringwraiths are very strong, and good travelers. Actually, they were. But when Sauron provided them with flying steeds, they became increasingly lazy. The only one in good physical was RW 3, thanks to many hours spent surfing on weekends.
And like I said, Elrond is extremely energetic, and he walked very quickly. The further they went, the faster he walked. Soon all of the ringwraiths were panting and sweaty.
"For God's sake, you creatures are a horrible mess. No stamina, no motivation. Ah well, we are almost there. When we arrive there will be a supper prepared. No great feast, that won't come until after the matches have been made. You will have to get acquainted with my Fellowship, and Sauron will want a word will you. Off we go!" announced Elrond shrilly, as he turned a corner and hurried off again.
"I can't go on much longer, and neither can Miss Patty, or Miss Pam, or Miss Laila, or Miss Rita, or Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily" panted RW 4.
"Mr. and Mrs. Kelly and Emily? Lesbian ladybugs? That's a new one" said RW 1 sarcastically.
"Hey! Just because they made a different choice than you doesn't mean that you can make fun of them!" RW 4 shot back angrily.
"How do you know that I made a different choice!" cried RW 1, as he blushed.
Everyone else gasped, even Elrond.
"Oh great, that screws things up. We can't have a gay ringwraith mentor a member of the Fellowship, especially since they're all male" said Elrond, "Oh well, no time now, get going boys" announced Elrond as he popped his head back around the corner.
Breathing heavily(except for RW 3) everyone got up and followed after Elrond. After about 5 minutes, Elrond stopped in front of a large house, and opened the gate for the ringwraiths.
"Welcome, my friends, to the main court of Rivendell"
The ringwraiths looked around in amazement, as they had heard a lot about the main stronghold of the elves.
The gate opened to a courtyard, with many trees. Some were shimmering green, yet many looked to be of gold or silver in the fading light. Except for the gate, the courtyard was surrounded by a large house, and lined by many doors. Rivendell was a place of peace and happiness, and locks and keys were not necessary.
Elves as darting and silent as shadows stepped out from behind trees to take the coats and packs of the ringwraiths. This luggage they handed to other elves that came out from one of the doors.
"Now I will permit you to enter the Last Homely House, and you should feel honored. This group of 6 is second only to their Master Sauron, to be let openly in the door, though you are from the realm of Mordor" spoke Elrond ceremoniously, and his voice cut through the dark and the silence like a knife.
With that, the Ringwraiths headed towards one of the larger doors, which was held open by an elf.
"MUA-HA-HA-HA!!! Now you shall feel the wrath of Elrond!!!!!" screamed Elrond rather unexpectedly. Everyone stared, just a little bit disturbed.
As the ringwraiths entered the Last Homely House, the sound of a fiddle came to them. They walked down a long hallway, the music and other bustling noises growing steadily louder. Suddenly, they came into a large hallway, full, yet not too crowded, with countless elves, men, and one dwarf.
The ringwraiths could only stare in shock at the merriment surrounding them. Behind them, Elrond gaped. Apparently, this was not welcome he had expected. He bustled away hurriedly.
"Hallo there. My names Pippin, and this here is my friend Merry. Tis a pleasure to meet you" said a short, childish looking man jovially.
"Pleasure...I'm charmed to acquaint with you...." muttered another of the short men.
"Don't let Merry bother you, he's bloody drunk. I was just about to drag him off to the bathroom and splash a bit of water over his noggin. You see, he has discovered a wonderful thing. A pint!" said Pippin, as he raised a big glass full of ale, and with that he dragged his 'bloody drunk' friend off to the sink.
"Well, we may as well enjoy ourselves, as there isn't much else to do" said the Witchking, eyeing a bar at the far end of the hall, "I think I'll go investigate that pint the little man with the English accent was talking about"
Soon, the ringwraiths were dancing to fiddle, drinking, or talking to the large company that had gathered. Elvish babes were plentiful, contrary to Elrond's words. At about 10 o'clock, everything seemed to quiet down a bit, and those not residents of the Last Homely House dispersed to their homes elsewhere in the city. The time for singing and storytelling began.
So this is how the ringwraiths spent the beginning of their time in Rivendell. And already, they had somehow changed.
After a few hours of quieter, sleepier merriment, everyone headed off to their own rooms. Elrond was nowhere to be found. RW 2 called his name loudly, but still no Elrond. But seemingly responding to the call, 6 elves stepped once more from the shadows, and led each ringwraith to his room.
But, each RW found a note in calligraphy so perfect you would be infuriated taped to their door. The note said:
Listen up, boys. I meant to show you the cold shoulder, so you could see that Rivendell isn't all fun & games, and so that maybe you would understand the importance of punctuality, and impressions. It is not a good first impression for me to see the RW's, supposedly "hard core" and reliable showing up 7 hours late, and parachuting from a pink fluffy cloud. Plus, three of you aren't even here!!!!!!!! You will pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course, I cannot hurt you until after you have mentored the Fellowship. So, if you guys do a good job, and make a better impression on them than on me, then you will not be punished.
Sincerely,
Elrond
It was a deep sleep that they had that night, and the beginning of a time in their lives that they would remember forever. Hmmm....how will they remember this time of their lives? And was the sleep deep due to contentment, or too many swigs of tequila???
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I'm sorry that wasn't very humorful, but I had to have at least one mushy chapter full of peace, happiness, and ale!!!
Sorry its taken me soooooooo long to write this but oh well cuz its here now!!!
R&R, PLEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
REIVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!