Author's Notes:
Hi there!!!! I usually write in Spanish but today I decided to try to write
in English too. So I am new here and I am very nervous...English is not my
mother language so be gentle with me and give me a chance reading this
crazy story. And please don't forget to leave a review... It would help me
a lot and of course it'll make a very happy
Shiomei ^-^
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and the rights of this terrific anime. The genius who created this story is Watsuki-sama and the lucky people are the ones who are associated with him and I do not belong to that group... I don't even know Japan... T-T
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I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD
Prologue
She was kneeling in the middle of her room with her hands on the floor and her eyes were full of salty tears which were making a puddle in the floor.
All the recent events were printed in her mind and she couldn't do anything about it. She knew very well that all the tears would one day disappear but her heart will always ache for him. She needed to do something about it, but she couldn't do anything right now. She found out how weak she really was. Of course, she had always been proud of being the shihondai of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, but does it help in moments like this? No.
She knew that Kenshin is the love of her life. She lives for him and she needs him to be with her to be really happy. Without him, she cannot think properly and there will be something missing in her life. Without him she feels empty; however, that is her problem and maybe her biggest mistake. Why did she have to give him her love? Why did she have to love a man who still loved a dead woman?. Why? Because she is an idiot that's why. Her mistake is loving a man who can't correspond her love and even worst, a man who belonged to another. Did she really need a slap to wake up from her dream and bring her back to reality? Did she really need to be humiliated by the most important person in her life to realize that she wasn't the one for him? Was it really difficult to understand that? Yes it is, and it's painful.
She smiled at that. Yes it was the most difficult thing in the world. Assimilate the defeat maybe was distressing but not so difficult. Nobody can be blind for too much time when the truth is like an atmosphere around you; when it is in front of your eyes. Getting over it is another reality. It's not easy to hear the same words in your mind repeating like a demoniac voice: "You know what ? All the things you have in the world doesn't mean anything because without love you are nothing." And for her, love was Kenshin. The equation was easy. She was absolutely nothing and she was aware of that. Fast, easy and deeply painful... right?
She stood up and walked towards the door. She opened it and in a few seconds she was in her parents' room. It was like a habit. She was always terribly sad when she entered this room. Embracing the clothes of her father and the diary of her mother she found a good palliative for her sadness. Her heart finds peace and clarity to think properly. She felt loved here because this is the place wherein the two people who could only understand her stayed. Too bad they were dead, but it doesn't matter to her. Maybe being around their things could give her at least the sensation of having them around her. Now was time to make decisions and there is nothing better than having the people who truly loved her close to her .
She wasn't crying this time. Maybe because she didn't have any more tears or because she understood that they weren't necessary. She didn't have to mull over her situation and about idea that was in her mind since she entered the room. Anyway, it was the best for both of them. Their relationship was always so complicated and with this situation, she was sure that it was going to be worst. Maybe she was afraid. She didn't know if she could face him anymore without her heart breaking in smaller pieces each time she looks at his beautiful eyes. She knew she would not stand look at him and see in those beautiful amethyst pools a shadow of guilty and pain because of her. She could have been an stupid but she wasn´t mean, even if he didn´t love her the way she wanted she really did love him with all her heart and soul, and she was going to put her life aside to prevent a worst end.
He wasn't guilty of her pain. The only one who fell in love was her, right? The only one who wanted him to feel something more other than being friends was her; the only one who decided to live this hell was her. So, who was she to make him feel guilty? Megumi had once told her that she was no replacement for Tomoe. She was a swan, a lady; someone unattainable, so far away from her, so different and even better than her. She was just a simple tomboy who plays to be the strong girl but she is the exactly the opposite. A stupid idiot who suffers because of the rejection of a man who is in love with a ghost. It's ridiculous to fight against an idealized memory and even more, to fight against a real love that lasted a long time beyond the boundaries of death.
Now, the most important thing was leaving without any traces. It was going to be easy for Kenshin to find her if she followed the same route they always go through so she had to go to a place where he never could find her; a place where she could be isolated from the memories and from the pain. At least she had to try to do it before she chickens out, but first she had to think about the letter and the explanation about her leaving. It's not that she really cares about it but the one who is running away was her and it wasn't fair to have her family worried ( and a guilty Kenshin ) ... family... it sounds really beautiful... but it wasn't the time to be nostalgic...
She decided to leave and she was going to do it without any hesitations in her decision. She was going to leave her own home, she was going to leave the only thing she could claim hers. She was going to live everything for his peace of mind...
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A.N: Hey!!!! How was it ??? A lot of mistakes ??? I know my writing skills are not good enough but please at least let me know if I shall continue this fic... I have some ideas but I don't know if I must carry on writing in English... If it's so bad tell me and I am going to remove it... Please, could someone leave me a review checking my mistakes??? I'd be wonderful because I am studying this language and I need to know what part of my book I must study more!!!!
Thank you for reading my story!!!!!!!!! ^-^
Shiomei.
And again... REVIEW PLEASE!!!! and help my self-confidence !!!
-----------------------------
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin and the rights of this terrific anime. The genius who created this story is Watsuki-sama and the lucky people are the ones who are associated with him and I do not belong to that group... I don't even know Japan... T-T
----------------------------------------------------
I FINALLY UNDERSTOOD
Prologue
She was kneeling in the middle of her room with her hands on the floor and her eyes were full of salty tears which were making a puddle in the floor.
All the recent events were printed in her mind and she couldn't do anything about it. She knew very well that all the tears would one day disappear but her heart will always ache for him. She needed to do something about it, but she couldn't do anything right now. She found out how weak she really was. Of course, she had always been proud of being the shihondai of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu, but does it help in moments like this? No.
She knew that Kenshin is the love of her life. She lives for him and she needs him to be with her to be really happy. Without him, she cannot think properly and there will be something missing in her life. Without him she feels empty; however, that is her problem and maybe her biggest mistake. Why did she have to give him her love? Why did she have to love a man who still loved a dead woman?. Why? Because she is an idiot that's why. Her mistake is loving a man who can't correspond her love and even worst, a man who belonged to another. Did she really need a slap to wake up from her dream and bring her back to reality? Did she really need to be humiliated by the most important person in her life to realize that she wasn't the one for him? Was it really difficult to understand that? Yes it is, and it's painful.
She smiled at that. Yes it was the most difficult thing in the world. Assimilate the defeat maybe was distressing but not so difficult. Nobody can be blind for too much time when the truth is like an atmosphere around you; when it is in front of your eyes. Getting over it is another reality. It's not easy to hear the same words in your mind repeating like a demoniac voice: "You know what ? All the things you have in the world doesn't mean anything because without love you are nothing." And for her, love was Kenshin. The equation was easy. She was absolutely nothing and she was aware of that. Fast, easy and deeply painful... right?
She stood up and walked towards the door. She opened it and in a few seconds she was in her parents' room. It was like a habit. She was always terribly sad when she entered this room. Embracing the clothes of her father and the diary of her mother she found a good palliative for her sadness. Her heart finds peace and clarity to think properly. She felt loved here because this is the place wherein the two people who could only understand her stayed. Too bad they were dead, but it doesn't matter to her. Maybe being around their things could give her at least the sensation of having them around her. Now was time to make decisions and there is nothing better than having the people who truly loved her close to her .
She wasn't crying this time. Maybe because she didn't have any more tears or because she understood that they weren't necessary. She didn't have to mull over her situation and about idea that was in her mind since she entered the room. Anyway, it was the best for both of them. Their relationship was always so complicated and with this situation, she was sure that it was going to be worst. Maybe she was afraid. She didn't know if she could face him anymore without her heart breaking in smaller pieces each time she looks at his beautiful eyes. She knew she would not stand look at him and see in those beautiful amethyst pools a shadow of guilty and pain because of her. She could have been an stupid but she wasn´t mean, even if he didn´t love her the way she wanted she really did love him with all her heart and soul, and she was going to put her life aside to prevent a worst end.
He wasn't guilty of her pain. The only one who fell in love was her, right? The only one who wanted him to feel something more other than being friends was her; the only one who decided to live this hell was her. So, who was she to make him feel guilty? Megumi had once told her that she was no replacement for Tomoe. She was a swan, a lady; someone unattainable, so far away from her, so different and even better than her. She was just a simple tomboy who plays to be the strong girl but she is the exactly the opposite. A stupid idiot who suffers because of the rejection of a man who is in love with a ghost. It's ridiculous to fight against an idealized memory and even more, to fight against a real love that lasted a long time beyond the boundaries of death.
Now, the most important thing was leaving without any traces. It was going to be easy for Kenshin to find her if she followed the same route they always go through so she had to go to a place where he never could find her; a place where she could be isolated from the memories and from the pain. At least she had to try to do it before she chickens out, but first she had to think about the letter and the explanation about her leaving. It's not that she really cares about it but the one who is running away was her and it wasn't fair to have her family worried ( and a guilty Kenshin ) ... family... it sounds really beautiful... but it wasn't the time to be nostalgic...
She decided to leave and she was going to do it without any hesitations in her decision. She was going to leave her own home, she was going to leave the only thing she could claim hers. She was going to live everything for his peace of mind...
-----------------------------------------------------------
A.N: Hey!!!! How was it ??? A lot of mistakes ??? I know my writing skills are not good enough but please at least let me know if I shall continue this fic... I have some ideas but I don't know if I must carry on writing in English... If it's so bad tell me and I am going to remove it... Please, could someone leave me a review checking my mistakes??? I'd be wonderful because I am studying this language and I need to know what part of my book I must study more!!!!
Thank you for reading my story!!!!!!!!! ^-^
Shiomei.
And again... REVIEW PLEASE!!!! and help my self-confidence !!!
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