Fanatic: Shera
By: Tifa Gainsborough
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Casey Crystal and Kinneas are sitting in a lounge, playing a game of cards. The camera swoops in and the two ignore it. Slowly, the camera begins to move closer to an open door behind them. Pulling a little camera magic, the camera zooms in on Tifa Gainsborough.
Tifa Gainsborough: Come on now!
Kinneas and Casey, intrigued by the noise come to investigate. Casey shrieks at the sight of Tifa G trying to flog a Chocobo into submission.
Kinneas: TEEF! What the hell are you doing!?!
Tifa G: I think somebody mentioned this fic was like beating a dead cow. And there are no freakin cows on this stupid Planet, trust me I looked, so I picked a Chocobo.
Casey: Well that's just great. But can you answer me two questions?
Tifa G: momentarily pauses from whipping the Chocobo Shoot.
Casey: One, why are you using a licorice whip? Two, that Chocobo is a stuffed toy!
Tifa G: I see your point. takes a bite out of the rope.
Kinneas: You are too weird for words. Oh and points to the camera
Tifa G sees the camera and beings to prance around the room, swinging her rope happily. Plowing into the camera man brings her prancing to a halt.
Casey: Glad to see things are getting back to normal.
Tifa G: Welcome back to Fanatic everybody! I love you all! pulls the camera to her huggling it happily And am so happy you all came back! Those that didn't… Well those that didn't we may not hear from anytime in the near future.
Kinneas: I refuse to bury anymore bodies!
Tifa G: You actually bury them? Anyways! On today's episode of Fanatic does a little dance Raven will be interviewing Shera. Do you think she will make us a cup of tea?
Kinneas: I'm sure she will.
Casey: But I don't want to wrestle Cid for it. I don't think he is very happy with us. I mean, that whole Highwind incident.
Tifa G: That was just an accident. I'm sure he didn't mean to do his Highwind limit break on us! Well…. Let's go get Raven!
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The scene changes, Tifa G, Kinneas and Casey are huddled together, staring wide eyed around them. There are strange girls with interesting hair colors running around. A girl with bubblegum pink hair in pigtails skips by. Another with raven midnight black hair down to her knee's races by, chasing after another raven midnight black haired girl. Many are huddled around a life sized statue of Sephiroth holding a bouquet of flowers.
Casey: I'm scared!
Kinneas: So much pink! Where the hell are we!?! beats off a green haired cat girl who is trying to get too friendly.
Tifa G: Sueland. eyes the Sephiroth statue wearily I know Cas, I'm scared too.
Casey: They have their own land?!?
Kinneas: There are so many of them, they probably have their own planet! Now where is Raven, that cat girl is coming back again.
Near the back, a regular looking girl is standing on a soapbox with a microphone.
Raven: Now my Sue's! With my help you can have whichever bish you want! And in turn, you will help me control the planet! insert evil laughter here.
Tifa G: Raven! We have come to take you to interview Shera!
Raven: Yes! leaps off the soapbox among cheers I am so ha-urk!
Tifa G, Casey and Kinneas both grab Raven and run off, fighting their way out of the Sue's. Kinneas gets grabbed by the cat girl.
Kinneas: NO!!! Really, I'm not your type!
Cat Girl: I will love you and hug you and call you Sylver. begins to drag Kinneas off.
Kinneas: HELP ME!!! RAPE! FIRE! RAPE! ANYTHING!
Casey latches on to one of Kinneas' legs and hold on for dear life.
Tifa G: LOOK! A Bishounen and a Bishojo over there! points in a random direction. The sue's all look over there. Kinneas wrestles her way free and the four run off screaming.
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First Impressions
Raven: Wow, this is really great that I get to interview Shera! I mean, she make's the greatest tea and well she is just plain cool!
Shera: Oh my… sips some tea I never realized that I have fans. sips more tea The Captain will be very happy I believe.
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Tifa G and Raven are standing near the Midgar Zolom's swamp. Kinneas is crying to Casey about getting violated by the cat girl sue thing. Shera is sitting in a chair near the swamp, eyeing the giant snake. Cid has the Highwind hovering nearby, just incase.
Tifa G: Are you ready?
Raven: Yes I am.
Tifa G: That's great! I'm not going any further in fears that Cid will find it a threat upon his precious Highwind and try to barrel roll it over me.
Raven walks out and sits across from Shera, who happily hands her a cup of tea.
Raven: Thank you so much! I'm Raven. First question. I know you are basically the reason for the launch failure but all the same… why do you put up with Cid? Don't get me wrong, I think he's kewl but seriously. He can be an ass!
Shera: Well, Cid puts on a very strong front. In fact he is very caring and sweet. He has been nothing but to nice to me. I think showing his affections in front of other people scares him.
Raven: A can't agree more! As I honestly believe Cid has a thing for you. If he were to admit it and ask you to marry him, would you?
Shera: Although that is a big step, I would marry him. I love him deeply with all my heart.
Raven: How exactly did you meet Cid?
Shera: We met when we both worked for Shinra. I was assigned by Shinra to work with him. So our relationship started out as a working one. But after awhile it became much more.
Raven: brushes away tears I can't tell you how sweet that is! Do you have any deep dark secrets? What am I saying, of course you do! Everybody does. What are they?
Shera: Well… Occasionally I slip a little something special into Cid's tea and that really lightens him up. The man can break dance like no other!
Raven: Wow… too much information. Can I have your lab coat?
In the distance, Tifa G shudders remembering the whole Hojo lab coat incident. Shera stands up, pulls her lab coat off and helps Raven put it on.
Raven: You rock so hard!!! Okay, if you could have, would you have joined AVALANCHE crew in their journey? I think you would have been an excellent asset to the team.
Shera: Thank you very much. That really means a lot to me. Unfortunately, I do think Cid wouldn't have let me join them. He really is very protective of me.
In response to that, the Highwind lets off a couple of flares. The flares land dangerously close to Tifa G who runs screaming.
Raven: Not to be rude or anything, but exactly how old are you? Say you look pretty young to me.
Shera: I have never received so many compliments before. Thank you very much. I am 29 actually.
Raven: Very nice snuggles into her new lab coat SPAM everybody jumps is the root of all EEEEEEEVIL. And jello is in league with it. How do you propose we put and end to it?
Shera: Uh? World domination?
Raven: YES! I couldn't agree more! All right, if you could have one super power, what would it be and why?
Shera: I would love to heal. I know Aerith was able to do that to an extent. To help humanity by healing their wounds. That would be a gift I would most cherish.
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Second Impressions
Raven: I really liked Shera even more! Her answers were simply wonderful and she gave me her lab coat! Can't get much better then that!
Shera: Raven was so very nice. I do hope that she enjoys my lab coat. I just washed it for the interview so it is nice and clean.
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Tifa G and Casey are huddled around Kinneas, who is still sobbing about the cat girl incident.
Kinneas: You didn't see the look in her eyes! She was crazy! And wanted to call me Sylver! She was trying to turn me into a Sue! I just know it! A SUE!!!
Tifa G: There, there. You know we wouldn't have let that happen to you. And if it did we would have become Sue's with you. Can't leave anybody behind.
Casey: Of course not! We three stick together. Except when Rufus and Sephiroth attack, then it's every girl for herself!
Tifa G: Don't worry, I made them happy so they won't be around anytime soon. And don't ask what it was, I don't want to talk about it. Well folks, that's all for Fanatic. Thanks for joining us. Return again soon.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fatansy VII or anything related to it. I just own myself. Thanks all for waiting so long for the newest chapter. Been rather slow, sorry sorry.
