Title: "Fate's Forgiving"
Author: ayrinEmail: mkg_sg@web.de
Rating: PG
Spoilers: None, I'm from Germany, so I don't know all episodes
Summary: An old friend of Lex' visits him and finds something different about the billionaire. Something she never saw in him before. Love. (Lex/Lana)
Disclaimer: The whole "It's not mine. I don't earn money with it" stuff.
Any other notes: First of all I thank the Academy…oh, damn…wrong. I thank Vona for her good Beta work and for her nice words. Oh…and it's the first FF I wrote in English! Send Feedback, please. Be nice! ;-)
PS: I had to re-post it. Sorry!
She was sprawled on the cool floor in her bathroom when she heard the steps coming closer, the waves of pain becoming stronger.
She clasped her hands on her head in agony, pulling on her wet hair to block another less intruding pain. Emotions floated through her. Strong emotions that were not her own. She was scared that they were too strong.
"Go away!" she screamed, shutting her eyes tight. Her breathing became harder with every echoing step.
The door slowly opened with a squeak.
A bald man stood in the doorway, his hands tucked into his jacket pockets and looking down at the naked form in front of him.
"Go away!" she repeated like a silent mantra over and over again, not to the man, not to anyone in particular though it seemed she was, only to herself.
His black coat contrasted to the white and bright bathroom he now walked into.
He opened the cupboard behind the mirror and took a little, blue glass bottle out of it.
"You know that I hate to see you like this, Cat!" he said in an indifferent voice but she felt it, she heard it screaming in her head that there was more to it.
Her whole body was shaking though she tried desperately to stop it.
He reached for one of the large, white towels while he bent down to her.
"Why weren't you taking your medicine?" His voice betrayed him this time, filled with quiet concern.
Carefully he laid the towel around her wet cold body and lifted her easily. Her hands still on her head, she rested it on his shoulder.
Her eyeliner ran down her face with silent tears that she tried so hard to suppress and failed.
He walked down the long and dark corridor he knew that would lead him to her bedroom. The corridor was only lit by the sunlight coming through her bedroom window.
'How symbolic!' he thought while carrying the lifeless, limp body into the light at the end of a dark tunnel.
When he reached her bed, he laid her on it. He took the sheet and laid it over her.
She was able to form a 'thank you' with her mouth. Her voice wasn't strong enough to speak it out loud.
He watched her for some time. He watched her trembling, whispering something as if in delusion, crying because of the pain he knew he was causing her.
He knew that he would find her like that after he had received a call from Cat's butler. He had told him that she wasn't taking her medicine. It's been time again.
Memories flashed back into his mind.
Images of her burnt back.
Pictures of her screaming at him, holding a knife to cut herself.
Pictures of her bleeding body.
He closed his eyes to block out those images, though no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.
"You know what happened the last time!" a weak voice said as if reading his mind, and doing it, in a way.
He nodded. He knew it all too well. "But, nonetheless, you have to take it! You know it helps you."
He brushed her cheek softly, wiping away some of the sweaty strands of hair.
"Please!" he asked her. She hesitated and wasn't able to think straight, but she felt that he wanted her to get better for whatever reasons he might have.
Slowly she nodded.
He released the small blue bottle, opened it and shook one of the pills out.
"Thank you!"
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-Four years earlier-
3:37 AM
A hot shower was all she wanted, was all her weak bones and her tired mind were screaming for.
The conference ended after a short period of ten hours. It had been a long day and an even longer night.
Her head hurt like hell. The effect of the funny, green pills was starting to wear off.
She opened the medicine cabinet behind the mirror and took four of them. Their effect hit her instantly. The headache disappeared and she felt better. To be correct, she didn't feel anything at all. She was numb again. Nothing seemed to reach her and that was just what she needed right now. She had helped Lionel Luthor to overtake a huge firm and she knew exactly where this was going to end. Many people were going to lose their jobs; many families were going to get destroyed.
She turned the hot water on and after some moments she stepped under the hopefully relaxing warmth of the water. When the water hit her skin, she almost jumped. It was not warm enough so she turned the hot water higher. But when it wasn't still warm enough, she turned the water hotter and hotter. 'Too cold!' she thought. She didn't watch the temperature after some seconds, didn't even notice that the whole bathroom was filled with hot steam.
Suddenly, her feet gave away and she fell against the shower walls hitting her head hard on it, breaking the fragile walls made of glass. She felt consciousness slipping away, her eyes shutting against her will.
Instantly Lex came rushing in with two of the apartment's staff.
"Oh my God!" he heard himself whisper.
In a mass of broken glass lay a bleeding Cat, her back burnt by the still steaming water.
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A barely audible knock rang through the suddenly silent study.
"Come in!" Lex said.
He sat on his leather couch, holding a glass of whiskey and wearing a grin on his face when Lana opened the door and came in.
"Hi!"
Lex turned and stood up. As usual he tucked his hands into his pockets after putting the glass on a nearby table. "Lana, what can I do for you?"
"We were going to go over the monthly bills today, as usual. But you didn't show up at the Talon, so I thought that I could find you here!" She held up a folder right under his nose.
For some reason she wasn't that nervous around him anymore. She knew when it was time to tease him, to make fun with him and when better to not. She still was nervous, but, on the other hand, who wasn't a little anxious around the billionaire?
'Maybe the girlfriend on the couch?' a small voice inside her head asked her. Surprised that only her subconscious had seen her, she turned to the young woman who was looking at her in fascination.
"Lana, this is Cathrine Carpenter." Lex had followed Lana's sudden stare and had to suppress a little Luthor like laugh.
"Please, just call me Cat!", she said, with a grim face directing at Lex.
"Hi!" Lana said in a friendly and very Lanaish way but deep down she screamed: 'Who the hell is that?' But she remained her friendly self and walked over to Cat and shook her hand.
"So, Lana, how come that a nice girl like you is into business with our Lex here?" Cat asked smiling, looking from Lana to Lex and back again.
"Uhm…I wanted to revive the Talon, the theatre my parents dated in. And I asked Lex to put some of his money in it. And here we are. The Talon's running pretty well and it's our third year." Lana finished her little summary, hoping that this girl, or woman or what ever this Cat wanted to be, was impressed. But all Lana got was a mocking smile of her.
Lana frowned: 'What's so funny about it?' Not wanting to think about it, Lana turned to Lex who was already studying the papers Lana had given him.
Cat watched Lana closely and from her feeling, which never had betrayed her so far, she could tell that there was more to this business relationship and now she was able to understand what Lex had brought her here for.
"That's quite okay, but you have to check the last numbers of the beans we bought!" Lex said in his best business voice.
Cat had to grin at this. "You know, Lana," Cat turned to the beautiful girl again when Lana seemed unsure after Lex's comment. Questioningly, Lana looked at Cat. "Our Lex is not that surly all the time!" Cat's grin turned into a broad smile. "If you really want to know him and go out with him, get him slightly drunk. He is a real teddy bear."
Both women faced him. Lana had to suppress a giggle at the thought of Lex being a teddy bear.
They kept talking for a while and Lana began to like the girl, despite the fact Lana didn't want to like her.
Cat felt a sudden wave of confusing emotions filling her. Jealousy and warmth at the same time, and she continued to watch Lana curiously.
Cat closed her eyes and tried to get a better image of what Lana was all about.
Lex and Lana were talking; about the Talon, Clark, their training and even less important things, the whole time not letting their eyes off each other. They almost forgot about Cat, who still was listening to whatever wanted to be heard.
Need me…so scared…want you…don't touch me…I'm lost…touch me…let me go…with you…hold me…dream you…so long…far away…fear…longing…for you…for me…hate me…not allowed…care…hope…scattered…broken…free in you…love you…
Cat's eyes snapped open and looked at Lex unbelieving. Was it possible? She had never felt something like this coming from him. Lex, who had promised himself silently never to love a person again to never again get hurt. But before she was able to say or do something the telephone rang and made the two talking people shut up.
"Excuse me!" he said and got up to silence the noisy machine.
"Lex Luthor…Dad!" Lex began in his casual voice but became bitter with the last word.
Suddenly emotions, strong emotions were forcing themselves into Cat's mind. They were screaming in her head, shouting at her.
Shut up…LEAVE ME ALONE…Bastard…HATE YOU…I know…don't tell me…FUCK YOU!…Not good enough…I for you…you for me…DO NOT…NOCat shut her eyes tight. Pain intruded her again. She pressed one hand against her head. She felt Lana's concern and worry, about how she might seem to the girl. "Cat, what…?" she began, but Cat cut her off and shook her head. Tried to assure her that everything was okay.
YOUR FAULT…CHEATER…FEAR…ENEMY…FATHER…MINE…GET AWAYThe ache became stronger with every passing moment. The emotions were still shouting at her. Even stronger than before and Cat was so close at screaming in pain but she held it inside.
"Lex!" Lana rushed at his side and pointed at Cat, who almost fell off the seat. Her face showed the torture she went through.
"Dad, I need to hang up!" was all Lex said as he lay down the phone.
"Lana, could you please get a glass of water? There must be some in the fridge!"
She nodded and headed for the little cupboard where the water was while Lex got a blue bottle out of his drawer in his desk.
Lana came back holding a bottle of water and handed it to Lex.
"Take two!"
Cat shook her head when Lex offered her two of the green pills.
"Don't argue with me!" he commanded and she opened her mouth slightly, taking the medicine she was so terrified of. A gulp of water helped them down and in the blink of an eye the pain was gone.
"What's wrong with her?" Lana asked after some time.
Cat was slowly falling asleep. Just one of the side effects of the pills. Lex watched Cat for a few more moments losing her consciousness, something he was grateful for.
"She can sense emotions. It's a gift…or curse. Depends on whom you ask. She has been able to do it since her childhood though it wasn't as strong and penetrating as it is now.
"My father found her when he opened a new paediatrics wing in a hospital where she was at that time. Soon he found out about her…let's say talent. He began to use her for his own good. And soon I did too. She knows when someone is lying. This ability is very useful when it comes to important contracts. But it became stronger. So strong that she wasn't able to block other's emotions any longer. Since that time, she takes her medication…specially developed for her. It helped her to focus again…but…" Lex trailed off, remembering a night he would never be able to forget.
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"Lex, I can't do this anymore!" she screamed against the storm.
They stood on the roof of the Luthor Corp. building. "Let's get inside and talk about it!" He tried to convince her to do some more steps away from the dangerously high ledge.
"No, Lex…no more
talking…I don't care what happens. That's the problem. I'm not able to feel
anything."
"I know this business is hard…sometimes you have the feeling…"
"No…you do not understand. I'm not feeling anything. For the first time in my life it's quiet in my head! I can't even feel myself…I can't even feel the rain on my skin. NOTHING, LEX!" She shouted. "And I can't stand this anymore…I don't care anymore!" She took out a knife and rammed it into her chest. "You see!" She said while falling down on her knees.
Lex ran to her catching her when she was about to fall onto the knife that was still sticking in her chest.
"I'm numb, Lex."
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"Another side effect of the pills when she took too much of them, she became addicted to it. And the consequence of that: It made her feel nothing at all!"
He took a deep breath. "She almost killed herself because of it!" His voice was quiet, calm and sad still seeing Cat's bleeding body in his arms.
Lana didn't know what to say or what to do so she simply laid one hand onto Lex's shoulder. And for a brief moment, Lana had the impression that Lex leaned into that soft and careful touch. He rested his head slightly on her arm; he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
Her heart was racing for two reasons.
One: Lex's bare skin on her own was electrifying. She could barely feel the touch, but it felt as if she was connected to a high voltage battery.
Two: She was sorry and furious because of the girl at the same time. On the one hand, she had to endure this kind of pain. And on the other hand, it hurt her that Lex was so worried about her. Seeing Lex like this because of another woman made Lana's stomach cramp. It hurt like hell. She wasn't able to explain why. She had realized some time ago that she had feelings for Smallville's billionaire, but she hadn't admitted it to herself yet. Everyone saw her and Clark together, even she did. But seeing Lex in this state, watching the woman he obvious really liked or even loved, hit her hard. Harder than she thought it would.
"Will she be fine again?" Lana asked ignoring the ache from her suppressed tears, breaking the silence. He raised his head, leaving Lana wanting another touch.
"Yes. She needs some rest and everything will be fine!" Lana wasn't able to read him because his voice sounded strangely ironic.
Her hand left his shoulder, putting some distance between them. Lana felt a little hurt at his tone. "You seem to really care about her!" The sentence simply left her without her allowance.
He turned to Cat and said over his shoulder: "Yes, we've known each other for a long time. We are good friends, sort of. It's a rather complex relationship."
"Sort of?" A sleepy voice asked. Both turned to Cat whose eyes were fixed at the silent pair.
Lex grinned but Lana wasn't.
Why her…not me…
Cat got up very slowly testing her state and discovering that her head wasn't hurting anymore and that the world wasn't spinning any longer brought her great relief.
"Sorry, Lana, that you had to see me like that."
"No, it's okay. No need to be sorry. Uhm…I'll leave now. You surely need some rest and I still have some work to do. So nice to meet you. I hope that you get better. See you soon."
Lana stuttered while heading for the door. Never looking Lex or Cat in the eyes.
Before Lana slipped through the door out of the room leaving the, as Lana thought them to be, Love Birds alone, Cat rushed to her taking her hand to stop her.
"Lana, Lex and I are only friends. Trust me!"
Unsure of what to think, Lana simply nodded and took one last glace over to Lex, who stood some feet away and at looked her, too.
Stay
Cat turned to Lex, surprised by his sudden but intense emotion. She was sure now. Lana could be the one to save him.
Ever since they began to meet, ever since she began to read him she knew that there was something rather unusual about Lex. He had kind of two personalities, but better described as two possibilities. He had this deep hate inside of him. He had suffered from the loss of his mother so strong and for so long, that left him with scars, which would never really heal. And his father had deepened this loss, marking him with even more scars by never truly loving him. He became sort of cold, manipulating and calculating just like his father though he had sworn himself never to be the person he most hated and feared. His whole life Lex had tried to impress his father or to get any kind of response. Cat was afraid that if Lex didn't find something or someone to hold onto that he might lose the rest of the good person that was left in him. Not that he was the devil himself, but he had the potential to be. She knew that Lex would become either the world's saviour by seeing that he would never be able to be the son his father had always wished and hoped for and going his own way. He could find the strength in him; see that he was worth being loved. Or he would become the world's worst nightmare. Becoming worse than his father. Becoming bitter, cold and heartless without respect for life. Never being able to love, therefore, he had never been loved.
But now a new component appeared in this whole game of fate. Lana. She had never thought that a girl from Smallville, Kansas could be Lex's salvation.
Of course, their relationship was only beginning. There was no true basis, no guarantee that they were even going to start a romantically relationship. But Cat knew their feelings; she knew that Lex would never fall for any girl. And Lana would never fall head over heels for the best friend of someone she really like and risking a deep friendship if she didn't see that there was something different, something special in her feelings for Lex.
But what if they fall in love? What if he loves Lana like no one before? What if he loses her? Cat's thoughts were racing. She had to suppress a laugh. We're at the beginning. If Lana died or something happened to her, he would fall into a deep agony and eventually punishing the world for his new loss. And if nothing happened to her, they would live happily ever after and Lex would become a good man. 'So, no matter what' Cat thought. 'Either he becomes good or he doesn't. No matter if I help them get together or not. Two ways, two paths to choose, two fates and no solution.'
The door shut with a loud, echoing noise forcing Cat to snap back into reality. Lex took seat at his desk.
"Okay, what was that?" Cat asked, turning to Lex who was sitting in his chair still looking at the door Lana had just left through. His hands were folded into a tepee, concentrating on something she couldn't see.
After a split second, he drew his attention back to his old friend. "What do you mean?" he said in a cold, almost bored voice.
"That look!" she stated smiling. "These thoughts!"
He stood up, walked to his small desk with all the "funny bottles", his friends in situations like these.
"I don't know what you mean!" He poured whiskey in a glass and gulped the whole glass in one fast sip.
"Lex, I have known you for way too long to buy that line. Don't try to fool me. I would take that as an offence."
He took his seat again not daring to look at her.
"I know you as well as you know me. And I know the feelings you had for me but you never, ever looked at me like that!"
"What are you talking about?"
Though a little voice inside of him knew exactly what she was talking about.
"Come on, Lex! The way you were watching her. The way you grinned every time you made her laugh. It's so obvious that I can't imagine you don't know what I'm trying to tell you! I don't even need to read your mind to know what's going on." Her voice became more and more sincere with every word she said.
Lex turned his back to her, not wanting her to look at him like that. It made him feel less in control.
"Don't turn your back on me, Lex!" she screamed as she grabbed the back of Lex's chair and turned it to force him to look at her.
"According to your reaction, you know what I mean."
He still refused to look at her.
"Okay…if that's the game you want to play. Fine. I didn't want it come this far, but you don't leave me any choice."
Cat rested her hands on her hip.
"You're so full of hate for your father and that makes you blind, Lex. You're not able to see anything but the anger and the hate you feel. You are trying so hard not to be like Lionel that you forget about what is important for not becoming him."
His breathing became heavy and she felt that she had gone very far. 'Not far enough!' she thought.
"You know why I collapsed? Because of your emotions you have for your father. They were shouting at me. I was always afraid that your hate would become stronger and I always hoped it wouldn't, but it did." She saw his cool look and knew that she had hit him deep down.
"Have you ever really watched her while you were with her?" she said in a now calm voice.
Now she got his full attention.
"She is smiling. And I don't mean this 'I-have-to-smile-at-my-boss' smile. Oh, no, it's that 'love-fool-crushed' smile."
"I'm not the one she wants.", he whispered, now watching anything in that room but Cat. He had never admitted that to anyone. Not even himself. It was the first time he spoke about it aloud.
"She is in love with Clark and…" He stopped in mid-sentence.
"What?" Cat asked.
"…I'm not good enough for her!"
At this point, Cat wanted to bubble into laughter, but stopped it when she saw the look on Lex's face. He really believed what he had said.
"You are kidding me?"
"I joke about a lot things, but not that!" he said bitterly.
"You won't even try it?" Cat said unbelieving.
"I can't do this." Lex got up, hid his hands in his pockets and went around to Cat. He leaned against his heavy table, watching Cat, who was very confused.
"Okay, from the beginning. What do you mean by 'you are not the one she wants'? 'Cause believe me, I know the looks she gave you. She has feelings for you! If she hasn't already fallen for you!"
"What do you know about falling for someone?"
Hurt, she looked at him. "I don't have to do this, Lex!"
Confused, he frowned.
"You didn't even know, huh?" She shook her head.
"You don't know why I left to France for so long after…us?"
His eyes widened.
"Yes, honey, because of you. It was not as easy to let you go, to get you out of my head as I planned, but that's not the point here!"
"You were in love with me?"
"Yes!" she admitted.
He lowered his head. "I had no idea. I thought we were having fun."
"It's okay, Lex. That's past. I'm over it and you should be, too. We're talking about here and now!"
He nodded slightly, lost in his thoughts, thinking about what she had just revealed to him.
She took two steps to stand right opposite of him.
"Listen, if you don't try for her, you'll regret it. You know as well as I do that you haven't felt something like this for a long time." Cat grinned and caressed his cheek softly with her hand. She laid her hand under his chin and made him look at her.
"She is your only chance to become a real human being, I hope you realize that!"
He grinned.
He closed his eyes, his arms around her waist and rested his head against her head.
"Thank you!" he whispered and nestled deeper into her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and caressed his bald head softly.
He straightened again, looked Cat in the eyes and they gave each other a little kiss before hugging again.
"Oh, I'm…I'm sorry!" A panicked voice suddenly said from the other end of the room.
Both of the pair looked up and found a stunned Lana at the door.
"Lana?!" Lex said but with that she turned as fast as she could. The only thing they heard of her were the fast steps of a running Lana.
"Damn!"
"Run after her!" Cat spit at him.
"Nope, it's better that way!" His stony face was back. He stared again at the door, but this time with a shattered and icy look on his face.
"No…Lex. Don't. Remember what we talked about! Please!" she begged.
"I'll leave in one hour for the charity performance in Metropolis. I hope to see you there. I'd like you to leave now, I still have some things to arrange." Without looking at her, he sat down behind his desk again.
"You're making a mistake, I hope you know that!"
Head shaking in disappointment, she left him. She knew now what to do!
After she had left the room, he closed his eyes.
For one moment, he had believed her. For one moment, he found himself able to give into his feelings.
Lana ran as fast as her legs would carry her to her car and drove back home. What had she been thinking? Lex and her? What the hell had she been thinking?
She ran up into her room, not answering her aunt's cheerful greeting and slammed the door shut.
She left the room dark and threw herself on her bed. Breathing heavily, she simply stared at the ceiling.
The two…they matched perfectly. Same world. Same past. Same God damn everything!
She never would have guessed that seeing Lex with another woman would hurt so much.
"Isn't sitting and musing in the dark too much of a teenage cliché for you?" An almost familiar voice said.
Lana jumped.
The little pink lamp in the corner of her room got switched on.
"Cat? How…?"
But Cat only shook her head and lifted one hand.
"No time for questions. We have to get you to Metropolis before Lex."
Lana became more and more confused.
"I hope that's your size. I guessed! I thought you were about my size." Cat said in a hurried voice, though it still sounded calm. Just like Lex.
Cat opened Lana's closet. It revealed the most beautiful dress Lana had ever seen.
It was light blue and looked like as if it has been made of the sky itself. It became darker blue at the end and glittering stones were on it. It looked as if stars had been stitched on it.
"This is beautiful!" Lana stated, almost unable to speak.
"Now…put it on!"
"Wait, why do we have to be there before Lex?"
"Because we want to surprise him, right?" Cat said, with an almost smile.
"But why are you not with him?"
"If I tell you, will you then finally get into that dress?"
Lana nodded.
"Okay…Lex and I are friends as we told you before. We're good friends, we've been through hell and back. Sure we have been together, but it has been more physical than emotional. And that was ages ago. We're still close. But not that close. For some time, we still met for…private meetings. But that stopped since…since he started to want someone else."
Lana was slightly puzzled, shocked by her honesty. She looked at Cat.
"You, sweetie! And what you saw later that day… it was nothing, we had a little talk about someone," Cat blinked with one eye at Lana, "and he thanked me for listening and giving him unsolicited advice!"
"I don't know what to think about all this. It's too weird." Lana said while she sat down on her bed again.
"Lana, I can read you like an open book." Lana lowered her head. "I'm sure he told you about me and my ability."
"You want to be with him. I saw how you looked at him. I know what you are feeling. And the way you reacted when you saw us standing there…it was definite."
"And think about, if Lex isn't feeling the same for you, do you think I would be here wasting my time to get you to Metropolis? I don't think so! So, move! Get into that dress and make yourself up. Let's go!"
"Hello Mr. Hopkins. It's nice to meet you again. Especially under circumstances like these." Lex said in his best, well-trained, business voice. Mr. Hopkins bowed, smiled back and drank another glass of Champaign.
Lex went through the mass of people who had the urge to shake hands with him.
Finally, after a half an hour he reached the bar, every person welcomed who had to be welcomed. It wasn't even 11 pm and he was already tired.
He ordered a drink and while he waited for it, another someone tapped his shoulder.
Unnerved, he rolled his eyes before turning around.
"Hello…", he began before he realized who was standing in front of him.
"Lana!"
"Hi!" she said, smiling.
For a moment or two, he wasn't able to remember how to speak.
"You…" he said.
She turned around, presenting herself.
"What do you say!?" Lana asked, watching Lex's expression while he looked at her. His eyes widened.
"You look great!"
"Thank you!"
Still stunned by her presence, he wasn't able to form a clear thought.
"How did you get here?"
"Cat. She waited for me at home. I still don't know how she made it there before me!"
Lex smiled inside. "She has a talent for these things!"
"And she got me this dress, too."
"It suits you!"
"Thank you!" She blushed.
After some moments of silence and staring at each other, Lex broke it and asked Lana "Want to dance?"
She smiled her most genuine smile and took his offered hand and allowed herself to be led onto the dance floor.
They began to dance. She laid one hand around his neck, caressing it softly with her thumb. The other hand was tight entwined with his. They moved slowly to the music. Not talking. Simply enjoying the presence of the opposite.
Lex, smiling, scanned the room for someone who was as happy as he was.
And far in the distance of the hall, he made out a form, watching them.
It was Cat, holding a Champaign glass in her hand. She wore a fitted black suit. She was grinning. She shook her head and formed the words, "You're getting weak, Luthor!"
Lex understood what she wanted to tell him and raised his head high enough for Cat to see, but low enough for Lana not to feel.
"Thank you. But you are, too!"
Cat watched the couple from afar. Without tearing her gaze off them, she reached into her pocket, took out two green pills and dropped them into her Champaign and drank it as a whole. "To Good Lex!" she said, rising her glass to the still dancing pair. "I hope fate's forgiving me if I was wrong!"
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