******2******
"Jesse?"
There was noise ahead, plucking at him, echoing loudly in his aching head. Jesse preferred the warmth and darkness and peace, but the voice kept bugging him.
"Jesse, it's Mark."
"Mark…?" He heard his own voice answer, scratchy and dry.
"Are you alright?"
He opened his eyes at the new sound. "'Manda?"
"We're all here, Jesse." She assured him, smiling down at him. He felt her hand resting on his shoulder and tried to smile back.
"Do you remember what happened?" Mark asked.
Jesse licked his lips, "got dizzy…"
"In the morgue. You recognised the John Doe."
The young man frowned, thinking back. But all he remembered was his legs turning to rubber and the floor falling up to meet him. "I don't..."
"You said 'Utah' before you collapsed." Amanda told him.
The frown deepened, "Utah…? I've never been there."
"Yes, you have, Jesse." Mark said quietly. "You just don't remember very clearly."
"Mark?"
"Do you remember a few years back, when Paris Pharmaceuticals kidnapped you? Kept you prisoner for five days?"
"Hard to forget. You all thought I was crazy."
Understanding, and maybe even a little fear, dawned on Amanda's face. "The highway patrol found you in Utah." She looked over at Mark. "Do you think our John Doe is connected to Jesse's abduction?"
"I think it's a possibility."
"Maybe we should call Steve and-"
"Hold on a minute," Jesse interrupted, sitting up. "I only fainted. I'm probably just low on sugar. No police investigation needed, just a chocolate bar."
Mark shook his head. "Jesse I saw your face when you looked at that corpse. You were remembering something."
"Something so terrible your mind tried to block it out. Again." Amanda added.
Jesse stared at the pair of them like they'd lost their minds. "And you thought I was crazy over Paris Pharmaceuticals."
Mark lay a hand on his shoulder. "Jesse, I want you to take a look at the body again."
The words brought panic and a nameless dread to the pit of his stomach. "No."
"If you're right and you just fainted, then there's nothing to be afraid of."
Jesse straightened up at the intimation that he was scared. "I have rounds."
"Not until tomorrow." Amanda said. "Mitch is covering your shift."
Jesse looked down, not wanting to say just how badly he didn't want to see that dead man again. And not knowing why.
"It's just another corpse." She added.
Except…
Except every other cadaver he'd seen didn't fill him with a sick clench of fear, as this one did.
Mark sighed, "just think about it, Jesse." He said, "it might provide us with some answers." He touched the young man's arm. "I'll go get you some chocolate."
Amanda watched Mark leave, then turned to Jesse. "He's just worried about you."
"I know."
"Don't you want to know what happened back then? Don't you want answers?"
Jesse rested back against the pillows, "no." He said softly.
*******
Steve grabbed the phone and stuffed it in the crock of his shoulder before returning his fingers to the keyboard.
"Sloan." He said.
"Steve," came his father's voice. "I need you to do something for me."
The detective glanced at the huge pile of his own work and sighed. "Sure."
"Can you pull the file of the Paris Pharmaceuticals case."
"Paris Pharmaceuticals?"
"They were responsible for Jesse's disappearance several years back."
Steve remembered with a shudder. Coming back to an empty cabin, calling Jesse's name into the darkness as the returning silence seemed to get louder and louder, and the fear grew stronger every second.
You left me…
"Steve?"
He jolted from his memories. "Yeah, I remember. We never did get a conviction. I'll pull the file when I've finished up. Shouldn't be more than a couple of hours."
"Just bring it by the hospital as soon as you can."
Steve frowned, feeling a thrum of concern. "Why? Has something happened?"
"Not yet. I'll explain when you get here."
******
Mark put down the phone, feeling a little guilty. He knew Jesse wouldn't want Steve involved in this, especially since none of them really knew what 'this' was yet.
In many ways, Jesse's disappearance had been just as traumatic for Steve, having to cope with his own guilt at leaving Jesse alone and the confusion and fear for his friend.
Jesse didn't want to put himself, or anyone else through that again and Mark could understand that.
But he could see answers ahead. Bright shining answers to all his lingering questions. Answers that could provide closure for everyone, especially Jesse, and maybe bring Paris Pharmaceuticals to justice at last.
Pursuing this could only be for the good…
********
Jesse was sitting up, legs dangling over the side of the bed when Mark came back in with a bar of chocolate and a can of Pepsi.
"Thanks." Jesse said, taking the offerings and began unwrapping the bar.
"You know, I think Connors is on staff today. I could set up a meeting."
Mention of Community General's resident hypnotist annoyed Jesse. "Look, Mark, I appreciate your worrying about me, but I just fainted."
"Jesse, I really think there's more than that."
"So what if it is? I can't do this. It took me a long time to accept I'd lost a week, that I wasn't going to get it back. It almost destroyed my relationship with Susan. I can't go through that again."
"Paris Pharmaceuticals were never prosecuted for what they did to you or for the murders they committed." Mark pointed out. "You could help bring them to justice."
Jesse looked down. "I don't care about that."
"I don't believe that, Jesse."
"OK, so I hate that they got away with what they did to me. But it was a long time ago and it's over. This has nothing to do with them." Jesse swallowed a mouthful of chocolate. "Mark, I just fainted. And now I've had some chocolate I feel fine so I'm just-"
Mark stopped him from getting off the bed. "You're a young, healthy man and you collapsed. You were hyperventilating and you were obviously having some sort of PTSD flashback."
"Fine." He held out his arm. "Run some test if it makes you feel any better."
Amanda smiled, "we already did, when you were unconscious."
"And?"
"And you're fine."
"Jesse," Mark said, looking him in the eye. "You can't ignore the possibility that something about the John Doe has triggered your memories of that time."
The young man sighed. "I'm not." He said, "I won't."
Mark opened his mouth to say more, but at that moment his pager and Amanda's went off.
"Crime call." Said Amanda, looking at her pager.
Mark lay a hand on Jesse's shoulder. "We'll be back soon."
Jesse watched them leave and opened his can of drink.
*******
Steve sorted through the files he had spent the last hour pulling from the records. The Paris Pharmaceuticals case had been dropped some four months after Jesse's disappearance due to lack of evidence.
Quinn Trask, the man responsible for filling Jesse's head with ideas about alien abductions and maybe the man who had kidnapped him, had disappeared from the hospital he had been taken to after Jesse shot him. The government then denied he'd ever been there.
The only other witness was Jesse, whose credibility had been destroyed by drugs and a National Enquirer spread on his 'abduction by aliens.'
Jesse had been understandably upset over Paris Pharmaceuticals escaping justice and both Steve and his father felt they'd failed Jesse in some way. Mark had spent many hours at the DA's office trying to get them to take the case, but in the end he had admitted defeat.
And Mark didn't take defeat very well.
Which was probably why Steve had heard such determination in his father's voice when he had called. Paris Pharmaceuticals had escaped him once, and Mark wasn't about to fail again. And Steve knew he'd back his father all the way.
The company was going to pay for what they put Jesse through.
Finally Steve had gathered up all the files and records from the case, took what he needed from the evidence room and headed out to the hospital.
********
The examination room was dark and empty. Jesse glanced at his watch, knowing he had at least half an hour before Mark and Amanda returned. He shifted on the bed, restless. He didn't take doing nothing very well.
In the peace and quiet, the tic…tic…tic…of the wall clock was audible. Jesse tried to ignore it and stay put but finally he couldn't stand being inactive any longer. He hopped off the bed and went to the window. This late in the day the hospital was winding down, and the corridors were empty of all but the night staff.
Jesse opened the door and walked out. His feet carried him to Amanda's morgue almost without his conscious knowledge. He stopped at the door and peered through the window, saw the room was empty.
The lockers waited and before he could loose the momentum he had gathered, Jesse slipped inside the morgue. His search for 'John Doe 060802' ended at the centre of the row of lockers, about waist height down. He reached out and his fingers curled around the handle.
Inside was those answers Mark so desperately wanted. Either that or another dizzy spell.
Or maybe both…
TBC