This is just a fun little piece that's not meant to be serious so if you
can't take a joke don't go flaming me ok?
I'm kinda appalled at how short it wound up being...but oh well. Once again the blame lies solely on my brother who thought the ENTIRE dialogue save what's in the first three paragraphs.
~*~*~*~*~
Two figures, one tall one short, both looking rather grungy, reclined on a ramshackle bench, digging through two paper sacks.
The taller of the pair sighed as he pulled a plate of greens out of his bag. "Just because I grew up with elves doesn't mean I need to eat like them." he grumbled. "Honestly...what does a man have to do to get some meat around here?"
Meanwhile the dwarf was doing his own muttering. "Mutton and malt beer again? Jeeze...hasn't anyone ever heard of vegetables?"
Eyeing each other, the companions promptly switched lunches and began to eat with gusto.
Apparently taking a leisurely stroll...a golden haired elf walked past, stopping behind the bench to see what his friends were eating. Leaning over with a broad grin, Legolas asked, "What's that Gimli? A *tossed* salad?"
Aragorn choked on his beer, spraying it all over himself.
The elf chuckled heartily and walked away.
Eyeing the fair being with a glare of annoyance, Gimli turned to his companion who was vainly trying to clean himself up with a napkin. "What did he mean by that?"
"I have no idea." Aragorn declared.
A few minutes later, the elf again walked by again and with a wicked grin he once more paused behind the bench. Running a hand though his long silky hair, Legolas shook his head and one golden hair drifted down to land square on Gimli's lunch.
The dwarf picked it out with some irritation and twisted around to shoot a glare at his antagonist.
Legolas frowned unconvincingly, "Apologies master dwarf...I trust I didn't spoil your meal by *tossing* my hair?"
Aragorn choked again but managed not to make a mess this time, though his eyes bugged out strangely above the hand clamped over his mouth.
Not waiting for an answer, Legolas walked away looking pleased.
"Aragorn, what *is* that infernal creature talking about?" Gimli demanded, watching him disappear into a grove of trees.
Finally managed to dislodge the piece of meat wedged in his throat, the man took a few deep breaths before answering, "I really don't know."
Gimli shrugged but kept a doubtful eye on the ranger as they ate, noting how his eyes darted around nervously.
When they had just finished their dessert of two bright green apples, Legolas appeared yet again; this time carrying a baseball and two mitts. "Hey Gimli," he called with a smirk, completely ignoring the frantic looks and negative headshakes Aragorn was sending him, "want to *toss* the ball around?"
Having had just about enough of this nonsense, the dwarf stood and crossed his arms, ready to give that elf a tongue lashing he wouldn't soon forget. "Listen you blasted tree-hugger...I don't know what--" he broke off, brown eyes hidden beneath bushy eyebrows widening with realization.
Gimli whirled around to Aragorn, who swallowed nervously and began squirming in his seat, "You told him!" the dwarf bellowed.
The ranger looked as if he wanted to crawl into a dark hole and stay there a very long time... "I'm sorry...?" he squeaked.
Turning red, then purple, then...well...nether the man nor the elf was quite sure what that color was...Gimli looked like he would burst a blood vessel any moment. He didn't give Aragorn a chance to finish his apology; fury filled eyes flicking over the immediate area. "Where's my axe?" he yelled. "I'm going to kill him...WHERE IS MY AXE?!!"
Never one to be called stupid, Aragorn had no intention of waiting to see if the irate dwarf found his axe or not. He took off with a yelp and didn't look back.
I'm kinda appalled at how short it wound up being...but oh well. Once again the blame lies solely on my brother who thought the ENTIRE dialogue save what's in the first three paragraphs.
~*~*~*~*~
Two figures, one tall one short, both looking rather grungy, reclined on a ramshackle bench, digging through two paper sacks.
The taller of the pair sighed as he pulled a plate of greens out of his bag. "Just because I grew up with elves doesn't mean I need to eat like them." he grumbled. "Honestly...what does a man have to do to get some meat around here?"
Meanwhile the dwarf was doing his own muttering. "Mutton and malt beer again? Jeeze...hasn't anyone ever heard of vegetables?"
Eyeing each other, the companions promptly switched lunches and began to eat with gusto.
Apparently taking a leisurely stroll...a golden haired elf walked past, stopping behind the bench to see what his friends were eating. Leaning over with a broad grin, Legolas asked, "What's that Gimli? A *tossed* salad?"
Aragorn choked on his beer, spraying it all over himself.
The elf chuckled heartily and walked away.
Eyeing the fair being with a glare of annoyance, Gimli turned to his companion who was vainly trying to clean himself up with a napkin. "What did he mean by that?"
"I have no idea." Aragorn declared.
A few minutes later, the elf again walked by again and with a wicked grin he once more paused behind the bench. Running a hand though his long silky hair, Legolas shook his head and one golden hair drifted down to land square on Gimli's lunch.
The dwarf picked it out with some irritation and twisted around to shoot a glare at his antagonist.
Legolas frowned unconvincingly, "Apologies master dwarf...I trust I didn't spoil your meal by *tossing* my hair?"
Aragorn choked again but managed not to make a mess this time, though his eyes bugged out strangely above the hand clamped over his mouth.
Not waiting for an answer, Legolas walked away looking pleased.
"Aragorn, what *is* that infernal creature talking about?" Gimli demanded, watching him disappear into a grove of trees.
Finally managed to dislodge the piece of meat wedged in his throat, the man took a few deep breaths before answering, "I really don't know."
Gimli shrugged but kept a doubtful eye on the ranger as they ate, noting how his eyes darted around nervously.
When they had just finished their dessert of two bright green apples, Legolas appeared yet again; this time carrying a baseball and two mitts. "Hey Gimli," he called with a smirk, completely ignoring the frantic looks and negative headshakes Aragorn was sending him, "want to *toss* the ball around?"
Having had just about enough of this nonsense, the dwarf stood and crossed his arms, ready to give that elf a tongue lashing he wouldn't soon forget. "Listen you blasted tree-hugger...I don't know what--" he broke off, brown eyes hidden beneath bushy eyebrows widening with realization.
Gimli whirled around to Aragorn, who swallowed nervously and began squirming in his seat, "You told him!" the dwarf bellowed.
The ranger looked as if he wanted to crawl into a dark hole and stay there a very long time... "I'm sorry...?" he squeaked.
Turning red, then purple, then...well...nether the man nor the elf was quite sure what that color was...Gimli looked like he would burst a blood vessel any moment. He didn't give Aragorn a chance to finish his apology; fury filled eyes flicking over the immediate area. "Where's my axe?" he yelled. "I'm going to kill him...WHERE IS MY AXE?!!"
Never one to be called stupid, Aragorn had no intention of waiting to see if the irate dwarf found his axe or not. He took off with a yelp and didn't look back.