Disclaimer: Characters aren't mine, no money is being made off of this.
Pairing: Severus Snape/Remus Lupin
Warning: This slash. Slash depicts a homosexual relationship between two characters who may not have one in canon. It's not fact, it's just an opinion folks.
Author's Note: Christmas fic, enjoy! It just didn't feel like Christmas until I wrote this.
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Christmas Eve had come again. Remus Lupin straightened a sprig of holly that hung in the doorway of his office with a heavy heart. Christmas at Hogwarts once more. Albus had given him back his old job, claiming he felt Remus 'could use something to keep him busy'. Remus wasn't an idiot. There hadn't been anyone else for the position. Desperate times called for desperate measures.
It didn't feel like Christmas. Despite the holly and garlands and the tree in the Great Hall, it didn't feel like Christmas.
But damned if Remus was going to let it get to him. He hummed an old Christmas tune under his breath, lips fixed in a determined line. He'd survived the year well enough, and the damn holiday season wasn't going to bring him down. He wasn't worried about Christmas itself. He'd be spending the night curled up on a blanket before the fire with his head on his paws. But right now, he had a small task to see to.
Giving one last glance to the bit of holly, he tucked the package he had taken out of his office under his arm and headed down to the dungeons.
He still wasn't sure why he'd gotten a gift for Severus. But he couldn't help feeling some sense of camaraderie with the other man. Old soldiers, and all of that. And it was Christmas, and who else was going to give Severus a gift?
And if Remus was very lucky, Severus would offer him a glass of brandy and they'd sit for a few minutes in silence before Remus went to his own rooms. It was hardly what he'd call a friendship, but it was better than nothing.
"Knock knock." Severus' door was partially open, the man himself nowhere to be seen. Remus had seen the Potions Master's private quarters on a handful of occasions, yet never failed to be impressed with them. They were darkly elegant, much like their inhabitant.'
"What is it?"
Ah. Severus was in a Mood. Remus shook his head and stepped inside the room, a small smile lifting up the corners of his mouth when he saw Severus. The dark haired man looked quite disheveled.
"It's just me," Remus said, closing the door behind him. Severus glared at him, running a hand through his black hair.
"Yes?"
"Er…Happy Christmas." Remus held out the package, noting the distrust with which Severus eyed it.
"What is this?" But he took the package, eyes going from it to Remus with incredulous suspicion.
"it's a Christmas gift." Remus shrugged. "What with it being Christmas and all…"
"Why?"
Trust Severus to ask for an explanation. Only he would question the motives behind a Christmas gift.
"Because I thought it would be nice, that's all." Remus shrugged. "Go on. Open it."
"Fine." Severus sank down into one of the armchairs before the fire, tearing at the red and green paper. "It's…a scarf and gloves."
"Er. Yes." Remus' smile wavered a bit. "It's only I remembered you complaining that a first year had ruined your own, and so…"
"Yes." Severus stared at the gray scarf and gloves for a moment before looking up. "I don't have anything for you."
"I wasn't expecting you to." Remus shrugged. "But if you're feeling obligated, I know you have a cask of brandy in that cupboard…"
"A drink?" Severus sneered a bit. "I should have known you had an ulterior motive, Lupin."
"You make wanting to share a drink sound rather nefarious, you know."
"I imagine, were I so inclined, I could make anything sound nefarious." But Severus stood and pulled out the short fat bottle, along with two tumblers. "Sit, if you want."
"Thank you." Remus smoothed his robes, and took a seat. The right armchair was, in a sense, his. It was the chair he sat in whenever he came down here. It was slightly more squishy than the other one, though it was the same dark green.
"Here." A tumbler of brandy was thrust at Remus, and he took it gratefully. "I'm surprised you're down here tonight. Full moon and all."
"I have time before I change." Remus shrugged, sniffing the fine drink before tipping it back.
"How long?"
"Oh I don't know…" Remus glanced about for a clock. There was one on the mantle. "Three hours, perhaps."
"I see."
The next few minutes passed in silence, both men sipping their brandy and staring into the fire. Sitting there, watching the flames and warm from the brandy, Remus could almost forget that he would be spending the night alone. He could forget all that had happened, and he could eveb pretend that he and Severus were old friends. It was almost pleasant.
Almost.
"Do you remember, Lupin, when we were young?" Severus spoke suddenly, and Remus turned, feeling there was more. He was right. "There used to be bells, in the village. They'd ring every Christmas. They've stopped."
"Have they?" Remus cocked his head.
"Yes. And I've no idea why."
"I'm surprised you heard them, in the dungeons."
"I would wake up Lupin, before dawn. You could hear them from the astronomy tower. And the sunrises were rather breathtaking from up there, as well."
"Were they?" He frowned thoughtfully. "I don't remember the sunrises as seen from Hogwarts."
"They don't seem quite the same."
"Nothing does." It was an odd conversation, to say the least. Severus rarely spoke, and certainly not like this.
"You and Black were lovers, weren't you?"
"Pardon?" The question came out of nowhere, and caught Remus by surprise. "But…yes. We were."
"I thought as much."
"Does it matter?" Remus sighed, heavily. The night had suddenly gone downhill, very quickly.
"No. Simply an observation I made. I never knew your tastes ran in that direction."
"My tastes, Severus, run in whichever direction they can. Why?"
"Simply making conversation, Lupin. Perhaps I have no desire to sit in silence, did that ever occur to you?"
"Or perhaps you still derive pleasure from making me miserable." Remus gave him a mirthless smile. "Rumor has it you and Evan Rosier were caught shagging in the Quidditch lockers after a game once."
"And if we were?" Severus' eyes narrowed to darkened slits.
"Then they weren't rumors." Remus set aside his brandy glass, wondering suddenly why he'd even bothered. Nothing had changed, except now Sirius was truly gone.
"Leaving so soon?"
"Yes, Severus. You've made it quite clear you don't want me here."
"Have I?"
Remus turned, tilting his head in a quizzical manner. It had seemed rather obvious, really.
"Yes, Severus. You've insulted me, brought up painful memories, and been generally morose. And I have my change tonight, so…Happy Christmas, and I'll see you in a few days." He turned with a nod, ready to walk out the door.
"You could stay, if you wished."
"Excuse me?" Remus had to have heard wrong.
"Lupin…we are both old and alone and likely to die within the next few years. I am tired of being alone. I have little desire to live out my last days as your ilk predicted I would. So stay, if you wish."
"You…" Remus faltered, at a loss for words. Surely Severus was mad. Or perhaps he'd been drinking before hand. Those were the only explanations that Remus could come up with, to explain his behavior.
"Kindly stop staring as though I were some form of strange creature you'd never seen before, it's rather disconcerting."
"You….I…."
"Yes or no, Lupin?" Severus' voice was clipped and tight.
"Er…" Well? Remus couldn't make this sort of decision in a moment's time. It would have been easier if Severus had simply offered to share his bed, rather than invite him to spend his change together. That was, in a way, more intimate. Only Sirius, James and Peter had ever spent his changes with him.
"I haven't all night to listen to you hem and haw, Lupin."
"I…I don't think you quite understand what you're asking me."
"Lupin." Severus stood, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I told you I do not wish to be alone. I do not mean simply for this night. And this is something I would prefer to get out of the way as soon as possible. I shall ask you one final time. Do you wish to stay?"
Remus swallowed hard. Severus couldn't be implying-implying, he'd stated outright!-what Remus thought he was. But…
Which left him in a rather difficult position. Certainly they'd developed a certain sort of bond over these past few months, but to go from a few drinks to what Severus was proposing…
"Oh for the love of….Lupin, I am not asking you to tie your life to mine." Severus folded his arms over his thin frame, still glaring at Remus in a rather hostile manner.
"Then I think you should clear up exactly what it is you are asking. Because I haven't the slightest idea!"
"Really?" One raven eyebrow arched, as though he didn't believe Remus.
"I…" But on reflection, he did understand. They were old and alone and had buried too many friends and loved ones. Old soldiers indeed. And old soldiers understood each other, and a bit of understanding did quite a bit to chase away the shadows that came with the chill of an empty bed. And didn't they both need that, rather badly?
"Well?"
"Yes," Remus said, after a long pause. "I'll stay. Thank you, Severus."
"Good. Now, how long do you have before your change?"
"A bit more than two hours, why?" Really, the sudden change of topics was making his head spin.
"Because we've more than enough to consummate our relationship, if you so desire."
"Oh." Well, he had said this would be easier. But it so clinical…Merlin. He was forty years old. His days of whirlwind romances were over. Sirius was eight months in the grave and time was running out. "Yes. Yes, I think I'd like that."
It wasn't as Remus expected it to be. It was tender and slow and soft, quiet noises and murmurs amongst the sheets. The Potions Master possessed a gentleness Remus would be hard pressed to believe, were he not experiencing it for himself. He spread himself willingly, chuckling a bit as the dark haired man mumbled 'Happy Christmas' while preparing him, a small smile on his thin lips.
And as and Severus slipped inside of him, Remus swore he heard Christmas bells ringing in the distance.