Sorry for the delay, I've had a bit of trouble thinking about where this is
really going to go. I still haven't decided but I'll explain at the bottom.
Disclaimer: To be extra witty, I have composed another ditty, owner of Animorphs not I, Why? Because *sigh* Applegate had it first. And so I am cursed to write fan fic, where other peoples ideas I nick.
Chapter 5
Rachel
Tobias was right there next to me. I hadn't seen him in years. I knew I loved him, and I knew what love meant, but I didn't feel that for him. But I had before. Had death removed my emotions? No, I still could fell them inside me, but why didn't I feel this for Tobias? There was a wall inside my head. I shook my head, trying to move it, but it was stalwart, immovable. The Ellimist must know.
No, I must focus! I had to get everyone out of here, somewhere safe, somewhere where they can be ok, until I can deal with this, this problem.
Jake opened his mouth to say something but then they were gone, gone to a safe place, far away from both ships. I opened my mind, to both ships, searching. No, there was nothing else worth saving. And I was gone, gone to the Ellimist, gone to get this all sorted out.
I was back, back where all the gamers had met. I had gone looking for the Ellimist, and but it was he that had drawn me to him. He turned to me, sadness radiating from him once again. I wasn't in the mood for sympathy.
"You! You have done something to me! I want it undone! NOW!" I yelled.
The Ellimist breathed in, his movements' heavy with feeling.
'I cannot. I might have once, but now there is too much, you cannot cope with it.'
"I don't care! I want to be me again! To feel things, properly! You've placed this wall in my head and I want it down!" I yelled, now that I knew about it, the blockage in my head was painfully obvious, there in my mind. I could feel something on the other side floating around, like fish in a tank. "Why did you do it? You recruited me to give you a new point of view, a passionate one, but you go and lobotomise me! Making me a little version of you! Why!?"
'Because you cannot cope on your own, there is too much in your mind for you to deal with. It will destroy you.' He replied.
"Try me. I've coped with things no one should be able to deal with, I think I can cope with this." I said, and I wasn't lying. Being with the Animorphs, I had to deal with things no one should.
'No. You will not.' The Ellimist simply shook his head. 'You must understand. Without my help, you have a human mind, human emotions. You need to be more than that to cope with the pressure. I refuse to destroy you.'
He stood resolutely, he wasn't going to free me unless I took action. Something he would value over me. I searched the galaxy my mind jumping from planet to planet. It didn't take long. It was a simple world, densely populated by a rather backward species, but great artists. They had beautiful monuments all over their planet. A precious species. Suddenly we were standing next to the planet, thousands of kilometres tall. The Ellimist looked at me calmly.
"Free my mind, or this planet dies. I will crush it totally, and then another and then another! Until you stop me from whatever the hell you did!" I yelled, moving my hands flattened out around the planet. The Ellimist's eyes opened wide, he realising that I would do it.
'Very well, but be prepared, it will be hard even for you, Rachel.' He conceded. There was no delicate procedures or anything. It was purely mind- to-mind. Picture a fish tank, full of water. Suddenly one of the glass walls vanishes and for a millisecond the water hangs there and pours over the edge. My mind felt like that, emotions pouring over the edge. The emotional significance of what had happened hit me like a hammer. I. I had died! All the pain the others must have felt, mum, dad, Jordan, Sara, Jake, and *Tobias*. My god. They had all thought I was dead. When a 5 minute visit would have stopped their mourning, but I had just left them to their suffering. Wait! My family still thought I was dead! I had to see them. To set it all right! This was terrible, but I was right, I can cope with it. The Ellimist had no right to.
My God.
My eyes widened as far as they would go. My family seemed like a hammer blow, but this realisation was a wreaking ball. I had caused the death of millions of living, thinking creatures, all innocent, all killed due to my incompetence. Their innocence wasn't even debatable like a Yeerk hosts' is, they weren't warriors or prisoners. They were normal people, living their lives and we meddled and toyed with them, and I caused their deaths. I had studied each one of them, I knew their habits, and it was like every single one was a friend that had died. Each life snuffed out, like a candle. I was a monster, an evil meddling monster.
The Ellimist watched Rachel's, the 'real' Rachel's, expression change from shock, to a smug look, which was wiped from her face almost instantly replaced by a blank expression, her eyes widened and seemed to stare through space, to something beyond. She began to shake, almost mechanically and sank to the floor silently, crouching into a ball her hands hooked around her neck. With an air of sadness The Ellimist restored his mental barrier, trapping her feelings once more within her head with a wave of his hand.
My head cleared, like an oppressive fog crushing my spirit that had been sealed off behind a sheet of glass, I could still see them but I couldn't feel them. Love, hate, remorse, gratitude, all gone, at least to their full amount. Gone forever, I was left with a choice of living like this or suffering the guilt of the death of millions. I looked up at the Ellimist,
"I can't live like this." I said softly.
'You must, we have a job to do, or the whole galaxy will suffer.' He replied. I looked inside myself and smiled, I knew what I had to do. I stood up and opened my mouth to speak.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------
OK, I didn't think this storyline through very well. Or rather I did, but it would have beaten Mission Impossible for confusing storylines. So, after losing my old story I realised that I had left it too large. My story can go anywhere and I have no idea where it should go so I am thinking that until I think of a great storyline I can write that I'm sure everyone will like or someone sparks an idea that I can develop, I'll be asking you guys about where you want this to go, mostly in the short term but maybe a few long term ideas as well.
Ok, you don't have to answer any of these but if you really like (or hate) a particular idea let me know, please. I am writing this for you remember?
What sort of story would you like generally? An action adventure story, with Rachel kicking ass on a galactic scale A slightly more focused action story centred on a few specific areas More of a reflective, angst-like story with Rachel trying to regain her humanity Anything you can think of, I'm open
What should the main enemy of this story be? Crayak The Kelbrid The One Remnants of the Yeerk Empire A alien race manipulated by Crayak The Drode The weird completely unexplained aliens that caused book 41
Who should accompany Rachel on this story? The Ellimist Some or all of the Animorphs A band of new or old aliens that Rachel 'recruits' for some reason No one, Rachel goes lone wolf
OK, as soon as I get some replies I can start work again!
Disclaimer: To be extra witty, I have composed another ditty, owner of Animorphs not I, Why? Because *sigh* Applegate had it first. And so I am cursed to write fan fic, where other peoples ideas I nick.
Chapter 5
Rachel
Tobias was right there next to me. I hadn't seen him in years. I knew I loved him, and I knew what love meant, but I didn't feel that for him. But I had before. Had death removed my emotions? No, I still could fell them inside me, but why didn't I feel this for Tobias? There was a wall inside my head. I shook my head, trying to move it, but it was stalwart, immovable. The Ellimist must know.
No, I must focus! I had to get everyone out of here, somewhere safe, somewhere where they can be ok, until I can deal with this, this problem.
Jake opened his mouth to say something but then they were gone, gone to a safe place, far away from both ships. I opened my mind, to both ships, searching. No, there was nothing else worth saving. And I was gone, gone to the Ellimist, gone to get this all sorted out.
I was back, back where all the gamers had met. I had gone looking for the Ellimist, and but it was he that had drawn me to him. He turned to me, sadness radiating from him once again. I wasn't in the mood for sympathy.
"You! You have done something to me! I want it undone! NOW!" I yelled.
The Ellimist breathed in, his movements' heavy with feeling.
'I cannot. I might have once, but now there is too much, you cannot cope with it.'
"I don't care! I want to be me again! To feel things, properly! You've placed this wall in my head and I want it down!" I yelled, now that I knew about it, the blockage in my head was painfully obvious, there in my mind. I could feel something on the other side floating around, like fish in a tank. "Why did you do it? You recruited me to give you a new point of view, a passionate one, but you go and lobotomise me! Making me a little version of you! Why!?"
'Because you cannot cope on your own, there is too much in your mind for you to deal with. It will destroy you.' He replied.
"Try me. I've coped with things no one should be able to deal with, I think I can cope with this." I said, and I wasn't lying. Being with the Animorphs, I had to deal with things no one should.
'No. You will not.' The Ellimist simply shook his head. 'You must understand. Without my help, you have a human mind, human emotions. You need to be more than that to cope with the pressure. I refuse to destroy you.'
He stood resolutely, he wasn't going to free me unless I took action. Something he would value over me. I searched the galaxy my mind jumping from planet to planet. It didn't take long. It was a simple world, densely populated by a rather backward species, but great artists. They had beautiful monuments all over their planet. A precious species. Suddenly we were standing next to the planet, thousands of kilometres tall. The Ellimist looked at me calmly.
"Free my mind, or this planet dies. I will crush it totally, and then another and then another! Until you stop me from whatever the hell you did!" I yelled, moving my hands flattened out around the planet. The Ellimist's eyes opened wide, he realising that I would do it.
'Very well, but be prepared, it will be hard even for you, Rachel.' He conceded. There was no delicate procedures or anything. It was purely mind- to-mind. Picture a fish tank, full of water. Suddenly one of the glass walls vanishes and for a millisecond the water hangs there and pours over the edge. My mind felt like that, emotions pouring over the edge. The emotional significance of what had happened hit me like a hammer. I. I had died! All the pain the others must have felt, mum, dad, Jordan, Sara, Jake, and *Tobias*. My god. They had all thought I was dead. When a 5 minute visit would have stopped their mourning, but I had just left them to their suffering. Wait! My family still thought I was dead! I had to see them. To set it all right! This was terrible, but I was right, I can cope with it. The Ellimist had no right to.
My God.
My eyes widened as far as they would go. My family seemed like a hammer blow, but this realisation was a wreaking ball. I had caused the death of millions of living, thinking creatures, all innocent, all killed due to my incompetence. Their innocence wasn't even debatable like a Yeerk hosts' is, they weren't warriors or prisoners. They were normal people, living their lives and we meddled and toyed with them, and I caused their deaths. I had studied each one of them, I knew their habits, and it was like every single one was a friend that had died. Each life snuffed out, like a candle. I was a monster, an evil meddling monster.
The Ellimist watched Rachel's, the 'real' Rachel's, expression change from shock, to a smug look, which was wiped from her face almost instantly replaced by a blank expression, her eyes widened and seemed to stare through space, to something beyond. She began to shake, almost mechanically and sank to the floor silently, crouching into a ball her hands hooked around her neck. With an air of sadness The Ellimist restored his mental barrier, trapping her feelings once more within her head with a wave of his hand.
My head cleared, like an oppressive fog crushing my spirit that had been sealed off behind a sheet of glass, I could still see them but I couldn't feel them. Love, hate, remorse, gratitude, all gone, at least to their full amount. Gone forever, I was left with a choice of living like this or suffering the guilt of the death of millions. I looked up at the Ellimist,
"I can't live like this." I said softly.
'You must, we have a job to do, or the whole galaxy will suffer.' He replied. I looked inside myself and smiled, I knew what I had to do. I stood up and opened my mouth to speak.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------
OK, I didn't think this storyline through very well. Or rather I did, but it would have beaten Mission Impossible for confusing storylines. So, after losing my old story I realised that I had left it too large. My story can go anywhere and I have no idea where it should go so I am thinking that until I think of a great storyline I can write that I'm sure everyone will like or someone sparks an idea that I can develop, I'll be asking you guys about where you want this to go, mostly in the short term but maybe a few long term ideas as well.
Ok, you don't have to answer any of these but if you really like (or hate) a particular idea let me know, please. I am writing this for you remember?
What sort of story would you like generally? An action adventure story, with Rachel kicking ass on a galactic scale A slightly more focused action story centred on a few specific areas More of a reflective, angst-like story with Rachel trying to regain her humanity Anything you can think of, I'm open
What should the main enemy of this story be? Crayak The Kelbrid The One Remnants of the Yeerk Empire A alien race manipulated by Crayak The Drode The weird completely unexplained aliens that caused book 41
Who should accompany Rachel on this story? The Ellimist Some or all of the Animorphs A band of new or old aliens that Rachel 'recruits' for some reason No one, Rachel goes lone wolf
OK, as soon as I get some replies I can start work again!