by: Inuki **Ookami**
Published:
19th December, 2003
Pairings: Goten x Trunks
Disclaimers: The poem and Dragon Ball Z and it's characters are obviously
not mine.
Archive? I'll probably let you, just tell me first! ^^
Summary: Written for a Winter Fanfic Contest... it's about Trunks and
Goten returning home for the holidays- they have to finally face their parents.
Other notes: Okay. I've tried something very different than with any
of my other stories- instead of waiting for beautifully eloquent (and ridiculously
long ^_-) physical descriptions of the good-looks of the characters, and their
body language... instead of giving them huge and emotional speeches... you guys
really are going to have to read in-between the lines on this story. A lot of
things I wanted to say, I left unsaid, hoping that they made their way across
through the characters ways of acting. Think of taking it very slowly... don't
rush through it all at once- catch all the little nuances... it will make this
story a lot more meaningful to you. ^_^ Well, enjoy. ^.~
:::: Home
For The Holidays
Here come the tough days, rough season for gay
Illusions to Currier and Ives, dead limbs family trees
Chances to love, opportunities to punish
Holidays
spent alone, in rooms full of relatives
Always
about others, few thoughts for the person
Why she chose living sinful, how he let down his father
Shouldn't try to hug grandma, can't be alone with children
A pariahs isolation, aliens in their own family
A
wish to belong, never felt truly one
Rebuking flashed glances, sly smirks of entendre
No insights requested, no genuine interest about it
Prefer speculation, deviant myths rich with gossip
When
holidays have passed, returned safe to gay ghettos
How many will ask, why even they bothered
Year after year till one day to stop, going home altogether
Families cannot accept, what they will not understand
© 2003 - Liam
:::: Part 2
-
Today, when the dark-haired boy suddenly came out with it Trunks had not been
prepared, neither had Goten, himself. It may very well have been that the reason
the raven locked boy said it was because he was so unprepared. But today of
all days? Then again, perhaps it was because it was today... Once said, it could
not be avoided- it had to be considered. In some ways it was like removing heavy
stone from the heart, only to replace it with an even heavier one.
They continued on in silence. The wind was still very strong, and Goten could hear it whipping all around them. The tattered remains of a paper kite hung on the power lines above.
Eventually they were forced to stop in a spot sheltered from the wind. Trunks leaned against the wall with a sigh. He would have pulled out a cigarette, but Goten had made him quit. The dark-haired boy put the cookie tin down on the ground and looked up helplessly at the blue-eyed boy.
A flock of cawing crows flew crookedly against the grey sky and were buffete southeastwards in the wind.
"All that's needed is for us to talk them calmly through it with them." said the lavendar-haired teen. "I think if we just rationalize it with them..." He was looking at a bike which had flipped over in the wind without an owner, totally abandoned. Goten was gazing up at the crows which had made a circle and were now flying back... They were only trying to rest innocently in a tree, but the wind was too strong for them to return to their sheltered home.
The older boy repeated "If we just reason with them... what do you think?" His hands were trembling, but he tried to hold them from his closest companion, keeping them clenched tightly at his sides, trying to hide his fear. He had to be the brave one, had to put up walls of defense. He blotted away the tears that were coming to his eyes by blinking them away and sniffling.
The crows finally succeeded in landing in the tree.
"Is something wrong, Trunks-kun?" the younger boy inquired, his eyes shimmering. He gently reached out a hand to th other boy's arm.
"Nothing." Trunks said quietly, brushing a loose bang of his hair in his eyes that had blinded him, and, in the process, pushed off the other boy's hand, for fear he might notice the trembling.
The two of them stood there at the corner of the wall, protected from the wind, saying nothing more for a very long time.
-
The street lights came on. It must have been past six.
"Has your
headache gone away?" Goten asked.
The purple-haired boy nodded softly, avoiding his companion's gaze. A solemn
village cart passed in front of them, its wheels clattering over a manhole cover.
After it had gone by, Goten noticed that the over had not been properly closed.
The dark haired teen nudged his friend, and said, "Look at that manhole cover."
Trunks barely even so much as raised an eyebrow.
"Look," Goten repeated, drawing himself close to the other boy. "The cover isn't on properly!"
"Why does it matter?" Trunks sighed impatiently.
"Well, it could injure someone!" Goten said defensively in a small voice, as if he had done something wrong.
Ignoring the younger boy, Trunks continued onward. Goten followed slowly, his eyes fixed upon the manhole cover. After a while he began walking towards it.
"Come back!" the lavendar haired boy shouted.
"Someone might fall down it," the raven haired teen said.
"Serves them right! Are you the only one who cares?"
Goten returned to his companion, at last, looking from Trunks to the manhole, wanting to say something, but not daring. He was too afraid to prove the older boy.
The street lights and their shadows swayed in the wind. There was no one else in the lane.
"It's getting late, let's go." said Goten softly at last.
"Where to?"
"Kaasan must be getting really impatient by now. Since we've come this far we really should go."
"I didn't want to come in the first place. I didn't want to tell anyone... ever." the lavendar-hair boy said quietly, but forcefully, refusing to look at the other boy, his head lowered to the ground.
"Please Trunks-kun... please try. You must be brave... we both must. It's better this way." Goten was pleading with the other boy now.
"We already know what they're going to do and say without even telling them! It's NO damned use! They're going to wish us dead! You will only cause pain and suffering and bring dishonour upon both of our families, no matter what good intentions you may have!" TTrunks had balled up a fist, and was trying fiercely to keep his cool, but who knew how long it would hold out?
Goten said nothing for a long time. Finally he swiftly picked up the tin and began walking rapidly forward. It was only then that Trunks realized the raven-haired boy was crying. He followed silently, wanting to say... something, anything- but he could not seem to find the right words...
-
"Let's just forget this whole silly business!"
"No! No! We must! You know very well..." Goten crawled onto the bed and cried.
"You know as well as I do exactly how they're all going to respond, once the shock gets over, no one will accept us ever again..."
"And what else? What haven't you said? You haven't said that there's a chance that they might accept it. That they might learn to live with us. That they might even understand... You haven't even taken that into consideration, have you? Even if they don't agree with us, we're their children, and that must mean something. Blood is thicker than morals. The people that gave us life... the same ones that raised us, surely they will not turn their backs on us because of this! You can not say that we will be lucky! I must be lucky at least once in my lifetime- I've never been lucky!" The fragile younger boy cried and shouted as if he were insane...
Trunks had never seen the other boy like this before. Never had Goten even questioned him about anything so serious. Completely taken aback, the lavendar-haired youth dared not continue.
"I didn't mean it, really... I meant... I never meant to say I wasn't lucky to have you." Goten was trying hard to explain, that cute frown crossed his face that often did when he was trying to think about something very complex. "I really didn't mean that at all. I mean... I agree. There's a big chance that they won't be pleased with us... but we have to risk it..." Trunks was placating the other boy, as if Goten were only a little child again.
-
They walked on quite a distance, passing many small lanes and forgetting to
check the names.
"We've already arranged it with Kaasan," Goten sobbed. "We should at least go, even if you don't want to tell them..."
"Of course we'll go. After all, you didn't loose your wallet, and we didn't buy these cookies for nothing, now did we?" Trunks was trying to make light humour of it, but only succeeded in sounding sarcastic.
"Anyhow," the older boy hurried on, "you can eat those cookies, but you'll only get sick if you eat them all yourself."
A soft smile spread across the boy's face, that was almost as delicate as his features were just then. Trunks raised a soft finger and brushed away the other boy's tears. "You can't go in looking like that, now can you?"
For some reason Goten could not stop crying.
"Let's stop a bit for another rest," Trunks suggested.
There was a temporary vegetable stall with an awning set up by the roadside ahead. The sellers had already left for home and the stall was deserted, save for a few turnips nobody wanted that were piled up on a table. They went to stand in the shadows, away from the street lights. The raven-haired boy continued wiping his eyes.
"Don't think so much. Really- don't spend so much time thinking..."
"I'm not, I'm not. I didn't want to cry."
"I just have a bad temper sometimes."
"No you don't. It's me... I bring you bad luck. I always have known it..."
"What a thing to say!" Trunks sighed softly, staring into the other boy's eyes, which shimmered like a thousand glistening lights, wavering every now and then like an illusion.
"But just suppose if..."
"'Just suppose' again! We've been friends for as long as I can remember now, but you keep on saying, 'Just suppose...' but, I tell you, those years of ours together are the reality."
The moon was so tiny and so far away, just like on that other night. The dark-haired boy leaned against his companion closely, afraid that all this was not real and that he was like that moon, so far away, so far away...
"Let's go."
"All right."
Just at that point a door opened in a courtyard opposite and two men that that seemed vaguely familiar stepped out holding beers. They both were merry, a strange juxtaposition to the bleak and cold atmosphere all around them. The livelihood inside the house seemed rowdy and dizzying- just like the two men that had stepped outside.
In a very displeased tone one of them said, "Apparently neither of them have arrived yet. It does seem odd, doesn't it?"
The other man replied, "It's sickening isn't it? I hear they're living together... it seems suspicious to me, the whole thing. That poor mother... you know how badly she wanted to have grandchildren..."
The first man spoke again. "Bunch of stupid fags."
The voices slowly faded into the distance.
Goten stood completely immobile.
"Let's go, shall we? What's wrong?" asked Trunks.
The younger boy, now seemingly even more fragile went back into the shadows, out of the street light's reach and leaned against the stall, staring wordlessly at the courtyard opposite. The man walked over to look at the door opposite. It was No. 57, Moonlight Lane. He came back to the vegetable stall and stood beside the woman, saying nothing.
Chichi came to the door and muttered something under her breath about people not closing doors properly. She gave a short look out into the cold night... as if wondering where her son was. During that pause, the lavendar hair boy turned his head to stare at Goten... the boy had an excrutiating look upon his face that made Trunks' heart break. It was a wretched look of agony and pain that the lavendar-haired boy might never be able to even understand a fraction of.
The gate slammed shut with a bang.
It was silent all around, as quiet as the desert. There was only the sound of the wind, making one think of a tiny boat caught in a deep valley between high, dark waves. The desert has its limits, the ocean comes to an end. If there were no oases, where could the camels go? If there were no harbors, where could a small boat shelter? There were times when neither of them could see the point of carrying on... times when they lay awake in the depths of the night. Perhaps Trunks had had yet another nightmare, or Goten had dreamt of the hereafter, and then they talked of death.
"Do you think there's life after death?"
"I think there must be."
"You're just superstitious."
"Who can tell?"
"Have you thought about death?"
"Of course."
"They why don't you die?"
"If I died, the loved ones I left behind would suffer too much. What about you?"
"The same."
This was their oasis, they looked to this as they walked through the desert. They were each other's harbor.
-
It was very late. Somewhere in the distance came the sound of the time signal. Eight o' clock or maybe nine. Probably eight.
They continued standing in the stall, their thoughts confused, saying nothing. The wind continued unabated- it would probably blow all ngiht. The matting of the stall roof had blown open a crack and was flapping noisily against the roof beam, letting in a flurry of old snow which fell on them, unnoticed.
A long time later Goten said suddenly, "We haven't fed Kasu," he said from inside the coat.
The other boy caressed the younger one's face, his eyes.
"I'm fine now." Goten said.
"I'm fine too." the lavendar-haired teen replied.
"Shall we go home now?" asked the raven-haired boy so quietly it was almost a mere whisper.
"Yes, let's."
"Let's go then."
They turned homewards, keeping close to each other.
They had left the cookie tin behind in the vegetable stall. They were always losing things.
"Oh yes! I forgot! That manhole cover," the younger boy exclaimed suddenly.
They retraced their steps to the first place they had stopped. They found the manhole, but the cover was tightly shut.
"Was this the one?" inquired the lavendar-haired teenager.
"I think so, or at least, this seems to be the only one around here..."
Trunks banged his foot down on the cover several times but it didn't budge- it was shut tightly.
Goten went back to the corner where they had stood before.
"Oh, from here it looks as though it's not on properly because there's a bit of black showing through the snow, like a hole."