Comfort and Joy
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters but the plot is mine.
Author's Notes: I was feeling festive, and so I wrote this little one part…thing. This story was inspired by the WIKTT Christmas challenge, but aside from the main plot point I haven't followed any of the challenge rules. And yes I know that When A Lion Became A Snake is just begging for some attention, but this was just asking, much more politely I might add, to be written, especially with the lack of Christmas inspired stories. Anyway I will eventually finish WALBAS, but for now something a little less dark. Oh and this is completely separate for WALBAS, and the characters and situation are supposed to be totally different. Thank you to Alex and Tania for editing.
***
Hermione sat at the reception desk of a publishing firm shuffling papers around without much thought. It was Christmas Eve, and she had another 15 minutes to wait before she could go home. Most of the other staff had already left (she had been selected to stay and lock up), so there was little human contact that could distract her. Sighing, she took a sip of her now cold hot chocolate and made a face. She just wanted to go home. Her mother and father had probably already congregated around the fire, and were likely sipping warm hot chocolate while listening to Bing Crosby's Christmas Carols and eagerly anticipating the family Christmas party that the three would attend later that evening. It was the first time in the 5 years since she had left Hogwarts that she would be able to go home for Christmas. Voldemort had been defeated that summer, so there was no need to fear for anyone's safety. Shaking her head, she stood up, stretched, and went to the kitchen to pour out her drink. Washing the mug and returning it to the communal cupboard, Hermione poked around the fridge, and finding nothing of interest returned to the reception area, only to find a man whose back bore a striking resemblance to Santa Claus hovering over the desk.
"Sir," Hermione said coming up behind him, "may I help…" and then trailed off as Headmaster Dumbledore turned around to face her.
"Ah, Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, beaming at her, "I was hoping you'd still be here."
Hermione smiled, "Yes well, someone had to stay for any last minute deliveries. Somehow it happened to be my turn. But never mind that, what a wonderful surprise. How are you?" She led him over to the sitting area and motioned for him to take a seat. "I'd offer you something to drink or something to snack on but the fridge is decidedly empty."
Dumbledore returned her smile, "No matter, I've had more then my fill of festive treats lately, and I'm well, thank you. And yourself?"
"Fine, or at least I will be in about 10 minutes."
"Fair enough," he replied. "And what are your plans for Christmas? I imagine that you'll be going home. I know how much you missed not begin able to do that while working for the Order."
Hermione nodded, "I'm so excited about it. Christmas Eve with my parents, and then Christmas lunch with the Weasley's and Harry tomorrow. I couldn't ask for a more perfect Christmas. How about you sir?"
"Oh, I've left those students who did decided to stay at Hogwarts this Christmas in the faithful care of the rest of the staff, and I shall be heading to visit some old friends."
"That'll be nice for you. I don't suppose that you had much time for that sort of thing during the war."
Dumbledore shook his head, "Unfortunately one does not always have the luxury of setting one's priorities. But actually Miss Granger, that's why I've come to visit you. I have favor to ask."
"Of course," Hermione replied. "Is everything alright," she added as an after thought.
"Oh yes, for the most part at least. Miss Granger, if I – and forgive me for being so blunt, but I see no other way to bringing this up and I know we both want to hurry along to be with our families – if I may ask what happened between you and Professor Snape?"
Hermione started, "Sir I don't…I uhm…uh…what?" she fumbled.
"Let me be more clear," Dumbledore continued. "I am aware, of course, that you and Professor Snape had an intimate relationship of sorts several years back, and that as far as I could tell the two of you cared for each other quite deeply, although I assure you I was the only one who noticed. I am also aware that it ended rather badly shortly after Voldemort's death. I am not, however, clear as to why this happened, nor is that why I'm here now. What I am interested to know is what kind of terms you and the Professor are on now."
"Oh," Hermione replied, only partly relieved, "I see." She thought for a moment. "I don't understand why you suddenly want to know this now, on Christmas Eve." If Professor Dumbledore was going to be blunt she saw no reason to relay her confusion in a more appropriate manner.
Dumbledore smiled. "As I'm sure you're aware Professor Snape left the facility this summer to pursue his own endeavors."
Hermione nodded, and replied tightly, "I had heard that."
"Well anyway," the Headmaster continued, "as – well Severus would be more appropriate I suppose – as Severus is no longer a member of the Hogwarts community and as he doesn't have any living family that he is particularly close to, or on speaking terms with for that matter, I fear that he will be spending Christmas alone."
Hermione raised an eyebrow, "and I suppose that you would like me to go visit him? Spread a little Christmas cheer as it were?"
"Precisely," Dumbledore affirmed.
Hermione looked down at her hands and shook her head sadly, "I'm sorry, sir, but I can't. I know you said that you weren't here to inquire about why Severus and I didn't stay together, but as you mentioned it did end rather badly: very badly in fact. And Severus and I are no longer on speaking terms."
"I see," Dumbledore said, his voiced containing neither disappointment nor judgment. "I don't suppose there is even the slightest chance that you both might be able to get past that – even just for Christmas?"
Again Hermione shook her head. "I just don't think so, and to be completely honest sir, I'm not sure that I want to see him again. Some of the things that he said…" She looked into Dumbledore's eyes, wanting him to understand, hoping that she hadn't disappointed him too much. "Well, you've known him longer then I have. I'm sure your familiar with his tongue."
Dumbledore nodded. "A necessary evil of loving him, I suppose." He reached over to pat her back. "Don't feel bad Hermione. It is I who should feel bad for upsetting you. I must admit that I was unaware that things had ended quite as extremely as all that." Hermione smiled at him, relieved. "And to be fair, Miss Granger, I was planning to visit him myself, but other matters have prevented me from doing such. I was just trying to alleviate myself some of the guilt I feel knowing that he'll be all alone."
"Severus has chosen his life." Hermione said
"You are of course right, Miss Granger, although sometimes
at Christmas it's a painful time to be reminded of that. But no matter," he
said, standing up, once again beaming at her, "it's Christmas, and I believe
that we both have places to be, and I have certainly imposed on enough of your
time."
Hermione stood up with him, the smile returning to her face as well. "Headmaster you're never an imposition."
"Then when are you going to start calling me Albus?"
"I would imagine never," she said dryly, as they walked towards the office doors. "You'll always be a headmaster to me."
Dumbledore chuckled. "Happy Christmas, Miss Granger."
"Happy Christmas to you too, Headmaster."
***
Out in the hall, Albus Dumbledore smiled to himself, 'mission accomplished,' he thought. Or perhaps more appropriately a small idea planted that would undoubtedly take shape into a full-bodied plant before the evening was over. It was unfortunate, he thought, that Severus was such a stubborn man, throwing happiness away with both hands as it were. But that wasn't important now. What was important was that, even if she didn't realize it yet, he had convinced Miss Granger to go to see Severus, and he didn't really feel all that bad about it. Besides, Dumbledore told himself, they both need closure, and that wasn't going to happen if they refused to at least talk to one another. Of course Dumbledore knew that he shouldn't meddle, not really, as these things usually had a way of working themselves out. Even so, occasionally fate needed a little help, and it was Christmas after all. His smile having only grown wider, Dumbledore left the building and disapparated.
***
Hermione watched as her aunt Lucy helped Santa, who had arrived only moments ago, hand out presents to all of her younger cousins. She smiled at the memories of all the times that she had been in the thick of things, eager to see what Santa had brought for her. She almost envied those children their sheer pleasure and belief in the holiday – the joy of seeing what Santa brought, and the anticipation written all over their faces just hoping that this was the one magical, special gift that they had asked for. Which of course it never was, for that was always waiting at home to be opened Christmas morning.
Hermione smiled, and was grateful that she had such a wonderful group of people to spend the holidays with. She'd missed this so much in the last years when she couldn't be here; when she'd had to spend Christmas with all the Order members that couldn't go home. Of course the last two had been special, but in a different way that had been entirely due to Severus. And while she'd enjoyed those haphazard celebrations, this was better by far, and Hermione was extremely happy for it. Which was part of the problem.
She moved away from the crowd of people gathered around the Christmas tree and sought the silence of the kitchen. She was enjoying herself, but somewhere deep down inside she knew that she shouldn't be. Dumbledore was right; no one should have to spend Christmas alone, no matter how miserable he was the other 364 days of the year. And even if he had chosen to be alone, who was she to refuse the requests of an old man who was just trying to make Christmas better for another man who had, at one time at least, meant a great deal to her. 'Damn it' she thought, 'Dumbledore's manipulated me…again.'
Clenching her jaw in frustration, and knowing that she just couldn't possibly enjoy herself until she did what she had to, Hermione made her excuses and, after confiscating a bottle of wine and a Christmas cake, disapparated.
***
Severus Snape sat on the sofa staring out his front window into the quiet street. It was decorated for the holidays, the other houses covered in Christmas lights of various arrangements and colours, one neighboug had even managed to go so far as to have eight plastic reindeer harnessed to an equally plastic sleigh and Santa. Undoubtedly if Severus had been more in the holiday spirit he would have enjoyed the lights, and perhaps even put up a few of his own, but as it were his neighbours were unaware of his existence (courtesy of some rather well placed wards and charms), and so his lack of spirit did not tread on the happiness of the rest of the community. Severus scowled and turned away from the window. Standing up, he set his forgotten book aside, and moved toward the kitchen to get himself another cup of coffee.
Christmas Eve was always the worst, he thought sitting down at the kitchen table to wait for the coffee to finish steeping. He found it particularly difficult to ignore the memories that would surface around this time of year. Memories of how happy Christmas had been when his father was alive, and memories of how he had had to spend Christmases at Hogwarts after his death. Memories of how the Death Eaters had celebrated the holiday – somewhat intriguing at the time and frightening to even think about now. Memories of spending Christmas alone, even when he was at a teacher at Hogwarts. And a few recent memories of Christmas with him and Hermione, after putting in the required time with the other Order members, sneaking off to be alone for a private gift exchange. Yes, Christmas Eve was definitely the worst. Christmas day could be ignored, it was after all just another day, and there was work to be done, and besides even when he had enjoyed Christmas it had always been the Christmas Eve festivities that were his favorites – Christmas Day had always just been a time for large meals and playing with newly acquired toys, and once again in recent memory spending time with Hermione. But that was irrelevant now, and both of them were better for it. He shook his head and shivered against a non-existent chill.
It wasn't the holiday that he disliked. In fact – religious connotations aside – comfort and joy and goodwill toward mankind was actually something that he supported. Even the idea of giving and receiving gifts was something that he thought appropriate, which was why he would always give generously to a few of his favorite charities around the holidays. No, for Severus, it was the memories associated with the day and the season that made him reluctant to take part. The memories of disappointment that always had seemed so much more acute because of the general happiness that surrounded the holiday.
Sighing, he poured himself another cup of coffee and returned to the living room to continue his reading. It was, after all, just another day.
***
Hermione stood in front of Severus' door trying to work up the courage to knock. 'Stop thing about it and just do it,' she told herself, but to no avail. It was difficult not to think about the last time she was here, and how he had told her that no he was not "interested in pursuing a relationship any further," and that "just because the war was over it did not mean that they could live happy ever after," and… 'Oh STOP it,' she practically yelled at herself. This wasn't the time to relive that. She was here to spread some Christmas joy, and she was going to do just that so that she could return to her own festivities. Thus, with a deep breath, she reached up and knocked.
And then waited.
Knocking again, she furrowed her brow wondering if perhaps he was not home. Trying to decide whether or not she should peek in the window. She was saved the trouble as the door swung open to reveal a tall black clad wizard staring down at her.
"Miss Granger," he drawled, "how unexpected."
Hermione rolled her eyes, and stepped into the house. "How have you been Severus," she asked, hoping that he wouldn't see through her attempt to save face.
Severus stood somewhat transfixed in the doorway as Hermione moved into the house, draping her cloak over the banister leading to the second floor. "Miss Granger," he said when he regained his composure, "I'm not sure what you think you–"
"It's Hermione," she interrupted walking down the hall, "and I'm here to share a bottle of wine and some Christmas cake," she indicated a bag in one hand, "with you…on Christmas."
Severus followed Hermione into the kitchen, where she was hunting for a corkscrew. "I see," he said, "and I don't suppose that you care to explain why you've decided that now would be a good time to come over?"
"It's Christmas, Severus," Hermione said as she found what she was looking for.
"So Dumbledore told you that I'd be alone, and somehow guilted you into coming. Hermione, I don't want you charity."
"Well that's a relief," she replied, handing him a glass of wine, "because you don't have it."
Severus said nothing, but pensively took a sip of his wine and watched as Hermione cut two slices of cake. He supposed that he should be grateful that she was there at all, but some how it just didn't feel right. Having her there just reminded him of his own loneliness, and possibly a bit of his stupidity.
Turning around, she handed him a plate and headed towards the living room. She sat down in the chair because she knew that he preferred the chesterfield. "So how have you been enjoying yourself now that you're free of Hogwarts," she asked when he was seated.
Deciding that he would rather engage in small talk than sit in silence or discuss anything too personal, he welcomed the question. "Just fine," he replied. "I recently finished the first draft of a potions textbook that I've been working on – it's much more thorough and updated than that old piece of garbage I was forced to work with. And of course consulting keeps me busy."
Hermione nodded. "What kind of consulting?"
"Oh I do some work for the Ministry, and occasionally companies employ my services when they need help mass producing one potion or another. I also take the occasional private work on the side."
"Well that certainly sounds exciting."
"It fills the days," Severus replied dryly. "And how about yourself?"
Hermione set her plate down
and took a sip of wine. "I'm still working for the publishing company, which is
going quite well. I signed a large deal the other day. Actually, Severus if
you're looking for a publisher for your textbook, my company just recently
moved into the educational field, I would be happy to introduce you the right
people."
Severus raised an eyebrow, and smirked. "A generous offer. Although I'm not
sure that the questions that would likely generate would be easily dismissed."
"And we both know how you feel about questions," Hermione mumbled, dryly.
"It is a subject we have covered in some detail, if I recall correctly," Severus replied equally dry.
Hermione narrowed her eyes, 'the nerve,' she though. "If I recall correctly…" and then abruptly trailed off – this wasn't the time. "I apologize," she said instead, "I'm not here to relive what happened, or even to force some kind of apology out of you. I was…thrown by how familiar all this is. You didn't set up the tree this year," she observed sadly.
"It didn't seem necessary." Unspoken: 'I only ever did that for you.'
"Ah." Taking a deep breath she regained her composure and continued. "Anyway, things are going well."
"Hermione," Severus began only to have her shake her head and finish her statement.
"And I am serious about the offer. If nothing else I could set up a meeting for you."
Severus narrowed his eyes, watching her carefully for several seconds, and then followed her lead. "Well, I will certainly keep that in mind."
"Good," she smiled briskly. "Now tell me, what have you changed from the older version?"
They moved on to less personal ground, and the conversation progressed from talk of Severus' book to other things that he was writing to some interesting things Hermione had read recently. Nothing too personal, and nothing that was at all dangerous. Although, Hermione thought, it was nice to just be talking to him again, and somehow it seemed – well not natural, but certainly not forced, as she was sure it would be. And it was true, she didn't need, or really even want, an apology from him. This, whatever this was, was good. And that warmed her.
Severus poured the last of the wine into his glass, as Hermione had refused, and glanced at the clock. It was half past midnight. He smiled slightly to himself. Despite his original reservations about her being here, it appeared that he had been enjoying himself.
Hermione seemed to notice the time with a bit of a start. "I didn't realize it had gotten so late," she said.
"Chalk it up to good wine and even better company," Severus mocked, sounding amused.
Hermione smiled, "Was that, mayhap, a joke?"
"Absolutely not." The amusement in his eyes was obvious.
"Well thank Merlin for that. I'm not sure I could take you being funny."
"I resent that. You used to think I was quite charming."
Hermione laughed. "That must be the wine talking. And besides, charming is different than funny, and I don't recall you being either."
"I didn't say I was charming, I said you found me charming. There's a difference."
"I suppose you're right," she agreed. "And it's nice to see that at least one of us finds you amusing." At that Severus did chuckle and the sound made Hermione smile. 'Good,' she thought, 'it's about time.' And speaking of time... "I suppose I should be going. My parents are going to wonder where I've gotten to."
Severus nodded. "You must be pleased to be spending Christmas with them. I know how much you missed that these last several years."
"I am pleased," she said. "Although spending Christmas with you is nice too." She reached across the coffee table to take his hand and give it a light squeeze.
Severus met her eyes and smiled. "Thank you for coming tonight, Hermione."
"You're welcome," she said returning the smile, and stood up letting go of his hand as he stood too. Walking to the banister she collected her coat and moved towards the door. "Next year you get to get the wine, and cake."
He raised an eyebrow, 'next year?' "Fair enough," he said aloud. Better not to question that too closely.
"Merry Christmas, Severus," she said leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth.
"Happy Christmas," he whispered in her ear, stroking her cheek gently. She lingered there for a few minutes longer than necessary and then pulled away. "I'm serious about the publishing offer. Owl me and we'll go for dinner and discuss it." Severus merely nodded, and Hermione turned and left.
***
Lying in bed about a half an hour later, Hermione smiled to herself. She was pleased with how things had gone between her and Severus. She knew that he would not owl her, nor would she hear from him for the rest of the year, but that didn't bother her. She'd be there next Christmas Eve, and they would share another bottle of wine.
THE END
Happy Holidays to you all!
