AN: Well, I'm sorry this has taken so long, but life got in the way :) Anyway, I got my results for Year 12 on Monday. I know that isn't really an excuse for not updating, but I have been at work every day since Dec 3rd, and I'm only human! Would you like to know my results? I'm extremely proud of them. I didn't get below an A in any subject, and my ENTER turned out to be 98.85! That's enough to get into any course really, except law and medicine and I didn't want to do them anyway! For those who have no idea what an ENTER is, this website may help: www.vtac.edu.au, but basically it's a percentage ranking. I'm in the top 1.15% of my state. All that procrastination on ff.net really paid off! Merry Christmas to everyone!
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"So," your brother says, "this is Tortuga."
You watch as the three companions, your brother, Jack and Will stroll through some very dirty streets. Jack looks positively in his element, while Will looks a little uneasy. You know exactly what your brother is thinking: his dreams have come true! Booze, chicks, and no parents to tell him to go to bed so that he can wake up in time for school tomorrow. He wanders through the street with a beaming face, turning his head from side to side so that he doesn't miss seeing anything.
"I tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack says with a grin on his face.
You know what's going to happen next. Slap! And slap! They have to have stung, you think, as the two prostitutes flounce away from Jack.
"Ow, that must have caned," 'Norro' says sympathetically. (Your brother thinks the same way you do.)
Will looks at your brother strangely. "Your speech has been different to the usual today, Commodore Norrington. Are you quite sure you are feeling well?"
"Can't you understand me, mofo?" Your brother puts his hands into a mocking gangster rap pose, beloved of sarcastic posers around the world. He succeeds in bamboozling Will even more, but such was the effect he was after, you suspect. Your brother, like most Australians, gets a little annoyed when nobody else in the world understands his slang, yet he is expected to be able to work out what weird things like BLTs and baloney are in books from the context. Obviously he is wrong to expect Will to understand him, but he gets defensive over things like this. You predict he'll probably end up doing linguistics at uni.
"It hurt a lot, if that's what you mean," Jack says peaceably. His hand moves from his cheek to his heart, and he says with irony in his eyes, "It hurt me here most of all."
"Suuuuuuuuure it did, Jack."
Jack wakes Gibbs with a pail of water, and then Will throws another bucket over him. After that, your brother steps forward with another pail, but Jack puts a hand on his arm. "That'll about do it, Norro."
"What in the name of - Jack, can you tell me why you brought the commander of the bloody fleet along wi' you today?" Gibbs splutters, dripping.
Jack shrugs. "He asked to come."
They all look at your brother, who is poking around in the corner of the shed that Gibbs was lying in. He looks up.
"Did you know you were sleeping on manure?"
Gibbs sighs. "I was aware o' that, yes."
"Great! Let's go drinking then!"
You sigh. Your brother is going to get very, very drunk in the next scene. You know it now. He's only ever had rum and cokes at parties and he's always had to buy them himself so he hasn't really been able to afford to get drunk yet. He is only sixteen, after all. It'll be two years before his friends pay him to drive down to the bottle-o and get them their grog.
As they walk into the tavern, Jack grasps your brother by the shoulder and pulls his head in close to him.
"Keep his nibs away from us for a bit, Norro," he says while gesturing at Will. "Get him drunk or something, amuse him. I've got some business to do."
"Going to use him as leverage then, Jack?"
"What - how did - never mind, just do it," Jack gets out as he leaves your brother with Will by the bar and goes to sit at a table with Gibbs.
Your brother looks at Will. "My shout."
Several rounds of beers later, you have to admit this makes for quite boring telly. I mean, while it is fascinating to watch your brother go through the stages of drunkenness - at the moment he is draped over Will's arm and they are declaring their undying love for each other and for Elizabeth - you'd like the movie to, well, get on a bit more. Jack and Gibbs are still talking in the background as your brother turns to Will.
"Will, mate," he slurs drunkenly and then appears to forget how to finish the sentence.
"Yes, Norro, mate?"
"Mate..."
"Yes, chum?"
"Mate, Jack's going to sell you out to Barbossa."
"What?" Will says blearily. "Why would he do that...he's a good mate."
"Yeah, he is...he's a good mate."
"Top mate."
You roll your eyes. Apparently Will has been soaking up the laconic Aussie vocabulary and has managed to add the one word to his own. Mate. And he's using it constantly, and not in a siiiiiiiiiiiick mate kind of way, either.
"Because you're a lever, mate."
"What?"
"You're a lever. Push, pull, push, pull. He said so."
"But I'm not a lever...a lever is a tool."
Your brother grins with the strength of the pun he's about to make. "You Iare/I a tool, mate."
They both laugh and Will falls off his chair with a thump on to the ground. It appears your brother has already made it to the ground, and he lolls there looking up at Jack and Gibbs who have appeared over their heads. You're not sure who's choosing the camera angles you're viewing, but the angle you've got right now appears to be Drunk!Cam. It's making you quite queasy as the camera wobbles from side to side and your head tries to follow, almost as if you were there on the floor yourself.
"We'd better put these two to bed," Gibbs says, looking slightly the worse for wear himself.
Jack agrees, nodding his head. "We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."
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"So," your brother says, "this is Tortuga."
You watch as the three companions, your brother, Jack and Will stroll through some very dirty streets. Jack looks positively in his element, while Will looks a little uneasy. You know exactly what your brother is thinking: his dreams have come true! Booze, chicks, and no parents to tell him to go to bed so that he can wake up in time for school tomorrow. He wanders through the street with a beaming face, turning his head from side to side so that he doesn't miss seeing anything.
"I tell you mate, if every town in the world were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack says with a grin on his face.
You know what's going to happen next. Slap! And slap! They have to have stung, you think, as the two prostitutes flounce away from Jack.
"Ow, that must have caned," 'Norro' says sympathetically. (Your brother thinks the same way you do.)
Will looks at your brother strangely. "Your speech has been different to the usual today, Commodore Norrington. Are you quite sure you are feeling well?"
"Can't you understand me, mofo?" Your brother puts his hands into a mocking gangster rap pose, beloved of sarcastic posers around the world. He succeeds in bamboozling Will even more, but such was the effect he was after, you suspect. Your brother, like most Australians, gets a little annoyed when nobody else in the world understands his slang, yet he is expected to be able to work out what weird things like BLTs and baloney are in books from the context. Obviously he is wrong to expect Will to understand him, but he gets defensive over things like this. You predict he'll probably end up doing linguistics at uni.
"It hurt a lot, if that's what you mean," Jack says peaceably. His hand moves from his cheek to his heart, and he says with irony in his eyes, "It hurt me here most of all."
"Suuuuuuuuure it did, Jack."
Jack wakes Gibbs with a pail of water, and then Will throws another bucket over him. After that, your brother steps forward with another pail, but Jack puts a hand on his arm. "That'll about do it, Norro."
"What in the name of - Jack, can you tell me why you brought the commander of the bloody fleet along wi' you today?" Gibbs splutters, dripping.
Jack shrugs. "He asked to come."
They all look at your brother, who is poking around in the corner of the shed that Gibbs was lying in. He looks up.
"Did you know you were sleeping on manure?"
Gibbs sighs. "I was aware o' that, yes."
"Great! Let's go drinking then!"
You sigh. Your brother is going to get very, very drunk in the next scene. You know it now. He's only ever had rum and cokes at parties and he's always had to buy them himself so he hasn't really been able to afford to get drunk yet. He is only sixteen, after all. It'll be two years before his friends pay him to drive down to the bottle-o and get them their grog.
As they walk into the tavern, Jack grasps your brother by the shoulder and pulls his head in close to him.
"Keep his nibs away from us for a bit, Norro," he says while gesturing at Will. "Get him drunk or something, amuse him. I've got some business to do."
"Going to use him as leverage then, Jack?"
"What - how did - never mind, just do it," Jack gets out as he leaves your brother with Will by the bar and goes to sit at a table with Gibbs.
Your brother looks at Will. "My shout."
Several rounds of beers later, you have to admit this makes for quite boring telly. I mean, while it is fascinating to watch your brother go through the stages of drunkenness - at the moment he is draped over Will's arm and they are declaring their undying love for each other and for Elizabeth - you'd like the movie to, well, get on a bit more. Jack and Gibbs are still talking in the background as your brother turns to Will.
"Will, mate," he slurs drunkenly and then appears to forget how to finish the sentence.
"Yes, Norro, mate?"
"Mate..."
"Yes, chum?"
"Mate, Jack's going to sell you out to Barbossa."
"What?" Will says blearily. "Why would he do that...he's a good mate."
"Yeah, he is...he's a good mate."
"Top mate."
You roll your eyes. Apparently Will has been soaking up the laconic Aussie vocabulary and has managed to add the one word to his own. Mate. And he's using it constantly, and not in a siiiiiiiiiiiick mate kind of way, either.
"Because you're a lever, mate."
"What?"
"You're a lever. Push, pull, push, pull. He said so."
"But I'm not a lever...a lever is a tool."
Your brother grins with the strength of the pun he's about to make. "You Iare/I a tool, mate."
They both laugh and Will falls off his chair with a thump on to the ground. It appears your brother has already made it to the ground, and he lolls there looking up at Jack and Gibbs who have appeared over their heads. You're not sure who's choosing the camera angles you're viewing, but the angle you've got right now appears to be Drunk!Cam. It's making you quite queasy as the camera wobbles from side to side and your head tries to follow, almost as if you were there on the floor yourself.
"We'd better put these two to bed," Gibbs says, looking slightly the worse for wear himself.
Jack agrees, nodding his head. "We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."