Hey everyone! Thank you so much if you reviewed one of my other
stories, and I really appreciate you coming here to read this story! Around
the time I wrote both of my other fanfics, I had just gotten done reading
about 20 romantic POTC fanfics, so that's why they are so mushy. I finally
tore myself away from the romantic ones and decided to try my hand at some
comedy. This chapter isn't particularly funny, but I hope you enjoy it
anyway. Many chapters to come! Please review! O.of course. The disclaimer.
(I'll make it simple.and it won't rhyme this time hehehe)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything to do with Pirates of the Caribbean, nor
do I own any part of the following baseball teams:
Yankees
Angels
Thank you. Now enjoy!
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No one knew how Captain Jack Sparrow had ended up well over 300 years in the future. No one knew how he had ended up in Los Angeles, USA. And no one could ever know what havoc he would soon cause in the modern-day world.
Jack's first day in Los Angeles wasn't off to the best start. As he strolled down the sidewalk of a residential area, he spotted something shiny lying on the ground. Being the scattered drunk we all know him to be, he bent down to examine it, then snatched it from the sidewalk. He got up, and then WHAM.
What he would later learn to be called a minivan had hit him.
A lady in her mid 40's jumped out of the car, followed by two of her children.
"Sir, are you alright? Sir, o, wake up. Wake up! Wake up!" she said. As this point, Jack was sprawled out on his back in the driveway. He popped open his eyes with a smirk on his face.
"O, Sir. Are you okay? Please don't sue! I'm sure your insurance will cover it! Sir!..Sir?" the lady continued. Jack just sat up slightly with a dazed and confused look on his face. As he felt his uncovered head, he gave the woman the evil-pirate-eye.
"MY HAT! Where is my hat?" Jack shouted while frantically looking around. One of the boys who had come out of the car was now holding a highly squished heap with tire marks on it that could just barely be identified as a hat.
"Is this it?" the boy said while giving the soiled heap to Jack.
"Ye good for nuthin, scoundrels! Ye hit me with that machine of yours, and you go tramplin on me hat you filthy, danged whelps what were you thinkin I be havin ye walk the plank if I was still aboard me precious ship and the whole load of you ferrets would be sunkin ter the bottom of davy jones' locker I be having you put into with the pigs and then I'd promptly take yer and fid ye to the sharks, savvy?" Jack screamed as his eyes bulged. He had a slight concussion. The lady just stood with her mouth dropped open, sorrow and fear reflecting off her eyes.
"We'll buy you a new hat, mister," the older-looking of the two boys said. "We're off to the mall, anyway."
"The mall? What in the---" but he was cut off by the lady.
"Sir, what is your name?" she asked.
"Captain Jack Sparrow," he replied with honor, puffing his chest out. The two boys just looked at each other, than at their mom, who sternly gave them the, "Don't-you-dare-say-anything-even-though-a-pirate-from-the-past- who-happens-to-be-fictional-and-from-their-favorite-movie-is-here" kind of look.
With much difficulty, the four got into the car. After having a long discussion of why Jack had to wear his seatbelt, they drove off towards the mall.
Ten minutes later, they arrived. They parked the car, and then got out. After making their way inside, they came to the hat shop. The place was gigantic. Throughout the entire store were shelves and shelves, and even more shelves that reached the ceiling. And on every row of each shelf, there were hats---hundreds, maybe even thousands. Jack and his newfound friends walked inside. (He was much obliged once they offered to get him a newer, better, and bigger hat.) He started with the row of shelves to the right, trying nearly all of the hats on. First he ventured towards the shelves of baseball caps. He tried most of the famous American baseball team hats on, from the navy blue Yankees Hat, to the red Angels hat. Finally deciding that these "baseball caps", as his friends called them, weren't suitable for his face structure, he moved on to some other hats. An hour later, they heard a squeal of delight coming from the direction where Jack was. They walked over when he explained to them:
"I found the perfect replacement for me ol' hat!" he said as he strutted down one of the aisles in a pink hat with flowers on it. It was most definitely a women's hat.
"Captain Jack, I believe that the sort of hat you are wearing isn't right for you. It's for a woman." Noticing that Jack was deeply hurt, she consoled him the best she could. " I know you've had a hard day, but let's just look a little longer at some more hats?" his lady friend stated. Jack scoffed off, imitating her while making a face.
"Had a hard day, eh? Well now I am! Won't let me pick out my own bloody hat!" Jack said while still wearing the hat. Just then, a group of teenage girls walked by Jack, pointing and laughing at him. He just let out a great sigh, then returned the hat to the right shelf. He then proceeded to visit the only aisle he hadn't rummaged through yet.
Two hours after entering the hat shop, Jack had finally found the perfect hat. (This time, it was a man's hat.) The four walked outside towards the car. The sun was setting, and the sky was now turning a pale bluish-pink, while the puffy clouds turned a streaky orange. Jack's shadow was long. He was almost back at the car. As he continued to walk, his hips swished and his hands moved in excitement as he mumbled to himself. His hair was black and shiny. The newly bought cowboy hat on his head glistened under the remaining golden light of the sun.
**************************************************************************** ********** Haha. I hope you enjoyed that. Please go and review! I would love to hear your opinions, whether they be good or bad. Thanks! The chapters to come should be much more funny. :-D SPECIAL PREVIEW: Since I'll be gone for awhile, and I may not be able to update, here is a little preview about what is in the chapters come. Jack tries to fit in at his new friend's household, and has a heck of a time exploring new inventions. Jack learns a sport? What will it be? Check back soon to find out.
Thanks! :-D
**************************************************************************** **********
No one knew how Captain Jack Sparrow had ended up well over 300 years in the future. No one knew how he had ended up in Los Angeles, USA. And no one could ever know what havoc he would soon cause in the modern-day world.
Jack's first day in Los Angeles wasn't off to the best start. As he strolled down the sidewalk of a residential area, he spotted something shiny lying on the ground. Being the scattered drunk we all know him to be, he bent down to examine it, then snatched it from the sidewalk. He got up, and then WHAM.
What he would later learn to be called a minivan had hit him.
A lady in her mid 40's jumped out of the car, followed by two of her children.
"Sir, are you alright? Sir, o, wake up. Wake up! Wake up!" she said. As this point, Jack was sprawled out on his back in the driveway. He popped open his eyes with a smirk on his face.
"O, Sir. Are you okay? Please don't sue! I'm sure your insurance will cover it! Sir!..Sir?" the lady continued. Jack just sat up slightly with a dazed and confused look on his face. As he felt his uncovered head, he gave the woman the evil-pirate-eye.
"MY HAT! Where is my hat?" Jack shouted while frantically looking around. One of the boys who had come out of the car was now holding a highly squished heap with tire marks on it that could just barely be identified as a hat.
"Is this it?" the boy said while giving the soiled heap to Jack.
"Ye good for nuthin, scoundrels! Ye hit me with that machine of yours, and you go tramplin on me hat you filthy, danged whelps what were you thinkin I be havin ye walk the plank if I was still aboard me precious ship and the whole load of you ferrets would be sunkin ter the bottom of davy jones' locker I be having you put into with the pigs and then I'd promptly take yer and fid ye to the sharks, savvy?" Jack screamed as his eyes bulged. He had a slight concussion. The lady just stood with her mouth dropped open, sorrow and fear reflecting off her eyes.
"We'll buy you a new hat, mister," the older-looking of the two boys said. "We're off to the mall, anyway."
"The mall? What in the---" but he was cut off by the lady.
"Sir, what is your name?" she asked.
"Captain Jack Sparrow," he replied with honor, puffing his chest out. The two boys just looked at each other, than at their mom, who sternly gave them the, "Don't-you-dare-say-anything-even-though-a-pirate-from-the-past- who-happens-to-be-fictional-and-from-their-favorite-movie-is-here" kind of look.
With much difficulty, the four got into the car. After having a long discussion of why Jack had to wear his seatbelt, they drove off towards the mall.
Ten minutes later, they arrived. They parked the car, and then got out. After making their way inside, they came to the hat shop. The place was gigantic. Throughout the entire store were shelves and shelves, and even more shelves that reached the ceiling. And on every row of each shelf, there were hats---hundreds, maybe even thousands. Jack and his newfound friends walked inside. (He was much obliged once they offered to get him a newer, better, and bigger hat.) He started with the row of shelves to the right, trying nearly all of the hats on. First he ventured towards the shelves of baseball caps. He tried most of the famous American baseball team hats on, from the navy blue Yankees Hat, to the red Angels hat. Finally deciding that these "baseball caps", as his friends called them, weren't suitable for his face structure, he moved on to some other hats. An hour later, they heard a squeal of delight coming from the direction where Jack was. They walked over when he explained to them:
"I found the perfect replacement for me ol' hat!" he said as he strutted down one of the aisles in a pink hat with flowers on it. It was most definitely a women's hat.
"Captain Jack, I believe that the sort of hat you are wearing isn't right for you. It's for a woman." Noticing that Jack was deeply hurt, she consoled him the best she could. " I know you've had a hard day, but let's just look a little longer at some more hats?" his lady friend stated. Jack scoffed off, imitating her while making a face.
"Had a hard day, eh? Well now I am! Won't let me pick out my own bloody hat!" Jack said while still wearing the hat. Just then, a group of teenage girls walked by Jack, pointing and laughing at him. He just let out a great sigh, then returned the hat to the right shelf. He then proceeded to visit the only aisle he hadn't rummaged through yet.
Two hours after entering the hat shop, Jack had finally found the perfect hat. (This time, it was a man's hat.) The four walked outside towards the car. The sun was setting, and the sky was now turning a pale bluish-pink, while the puffy clouds turned a streaky orange. Jack's shadow was long. He was almost back at the car. As he continued to walk, his hips swished and his hands moved in excitement as he mumbled to himself. His hair was black and shiny. The newly bought cowboy hat on his head glistened under the remaining golden light of the sun.
**************************************************************************** ********** Haha. I hope you enjoyed that. Please go and review! I would love to hear your opinions, whether they be good or bad. Thanks! The chapters to come should be much more funny. :-D SPECIAL PREVIEW: Since I'll be gone for awhile, and I may not be able to update, here is a little preview about what is in the chapters come. Jack tries to fit in at his new friend's household, and has a heck of a time exploring new inventions. Jack learns a sport? What will it be? Check back soon to find out.
Thanks! :-D