Disclaimer: Lord of the Rings is all one cool dude's idea – Tolkien.

Author's Notes:

Yes! Tomorrow is the last day of school! I still have holiday homework but I do have more time to work on the story, at least I hope so! Keep reviewing! All those who reviewed even when I was not updating as much, I extend my greatest thanks to! You kept me going! Just a friendly reminder that this fic is SLASH AND RAPE FREE to all those who asked! Thanks!

Korean Pearl: I know that some of my chapters are slightly choppy but this is because I wrote a chapter a day during my daily updating period. It is hard to avoid continuity errors when the story is a work-in-progress and is posted. I try to tie up the loose ends but sometimes I don't have the time to re-read my whole story. I don't think I've read the whole story myself. It takes too long. I write from around ten or eleven til about twelve or one at night so I might just be too tired…I do have to go to school…

Kit Cloudkicker: Just to show I haven't forgotten you. Thanks.

Rath: You signed on again! Keep it up!

In deep thought…Legolas' thoughts are in italics.

Herendil entered the room and saw Legolas staring off into space. He was in the bed, covers draped over him. The young elfling was rocking himself, mumbling, and he did not notice Herendil come in.

"Legolas," Herendil called softly.

Legolas turned his watery blue eyes on Herendil's face. He was upset about something but Herendil could not understand what.

"What's wrong? Is this about Ruthiun?" Herendil asked.

Slowly, the blonde-haired child nodded. He's dead.

"Tell me what's wrong," Herendil suggested gently. He put an arm around Legolas thin body but Legolas stiffened and Herendil released his grip. Instead, the older elf placed his hand on top of the little one.

"He's dead," Legolas stated flatly. He refused to look at Herendil in the eyes. If he saw, he would know that I don't feel sorry that he died. I should be, but I'm not.

"Yes. An orc killed him…" Herendil confirmed. He was really confused. But if that is what is worrying the elfling, what is wrong? He thought. He wouldn't be upset about Ruthiun, would he? Legolas didn't even know him for that long, not to mention the fact that Ruthiun hurt him! Herendil was puzzled. "But please tell me what's troubling you, my friend."

"I can't tell you," Legolas shook his head stubbornly.

"Remember how I told you that 'A burden told is a burden halved'? It's true you know. I won't judge you."

Legolas smiled a little. Herendil sounds like Elrond. He sighed and succumbed to Herendil's coaxing. "Ruthiun is dead…and….and…" Legolas stuttered. "I don't know how to describe it." I sound so stupid.

"Go on." Herendil said encouragingly. He held Legolas hand in his.

"He's DEAD AND I DON'T FEEL SORRY," Legolas said, raising his voice with each word as if to force it out. "I just don't…not like a normal elf should…" Legolas added softly.

Herendil stared, shocked at the outburst but he was careful not to let it register in his face. He chose his words with extreme care, "That would be under normal circumstances, Legolas. As elves we should always mourn the loss of life BUT you must understand that you do not have to feel sorry for his death. It was not your fault. He died because an orc killed him, nothing you could have done, even if you did anything, could have prevented him from his death. You don't have to feel sorry that he died – only mourn the life that he could have lived, then you move on. If you do not wish to, I would understand, since Ruthiun was not kind to you. Your last memory of his does not really picture him as an elf with honour does it?"

Legolas remembered that the last thing Ruthiun did was to throw him against the tree. He winced at the memory. That had hurt, he had been so angry with me. "But I don't mourn the life that he would have lived. He would have just made others miserable," Legolas objected.

"What you said is true but you must remember that Ruthiun was not always like this. He had his good times too. He may have even saved my life when I was younger. I mourn that life that he would have lived because he never had the chance to change. Inside, he isn't the evil elf that you have had to endure. Ruthiun did make others miserable but he did make a difference to one person's life."

"Who?" Legolas asked. Herendil smiled, Legolas was so much like a child yet he was wise beyond his years. Sometimes he could almost forget he was talking to an elfling.

"Githil's," Herendil answered simply. "Ruthiun was Githil's only brother. Githil had never had a family – he and his brothers were orphaned at a young age. They were very close. The only time I have ever ever seen Githil cry was…was at Fenath's funeral. Githil acted like he'd lost his child and, in a way, he did. Fenath always had a special place in his heart which no one could really fill – although Ruthiun alleviated Githil's grief even if it was only for a short time. Githil lived for his brothers and Ruthiun kept him going."

"Did you cry at Fenath's funeral? Would you cry for Ruthiun?" Legolas asked. I can't imagine Githil crying. Is it his weakness?

"Yes. I did cry for Fenath, he was my foster brother. I felt like I should have died instead of him," Herendil said haltingly. "I don't know that I would cry for Ruthiun, but I guess so…he was my brother…when he wanted to be…"

"But before Ruthiun died he said some things. The orcs wanted to know that who the prince of Mirkwood was. Then Ruthiun said that…there was no prince. Herendil! He hated me!" Legolas said. He hated me. Nothing I did could ever change that! Why?!

"Perhaps Ruthiun did not want to betray you…"Herendil said unconvincingly. He was not sure about this because he wasn't there.  

"But you don't understand!" Legolas said frustrated. "You didn't hear what he said! He hated me. HE HATED ME. How could I mourn for someone that is akin to an enemy?"

Herendil now understood Legolas' dilemma. He was not surprised at Legolas' anger, as he had expected it before. He said slowly, "I can try to understand even though I'm not you. Ruthiun did not hate you as much as you think. He, at least, drew the attention away from you. He did protect you."

"But he could protect me and hate me can't he?" Legolas reasoned.

"I suppose, he could. But if he hated you, why didn't he just let you die?" Herendil responded.

"Does that mean Ruthiun died because of me. He died because he was protecting me?" Legolas said slowly. Guilt was slowly twisting inside him.

"No. No. No." Herendil rationalised. "Ruthiun did not die BECAUSE of you. It wasn't your fault. You did not kill him. He died not because he was protecting you but because he died doing his duty. It was his duty. He was a guard and a warrior. He died in doing his duty but not BECAUSE he did it. His death was not a result of protecting you but rather it was a result of his duty. It was a price paid. It had been his decision to be a warrior. He accepted death as part of his duty."  

"But it was too high a price wasn't it? I'm not really worth it. He was a warrior, I'm only a mere elfling," Legolas said harshly. His self-loathing leaked through his outer mask.

"No! You were worth it all! I would have died for you! Yes, he was a warrior but you forget…you forget your place. You are a prince of Mirkwood and the future king!" Herendil exclaimed.  

Legolas paused to think. Me? A King? I don't see a King in me. Perhaps I'm not meant to be. I should have died.

"If I died, would Ruthiun have cried for me? Or wouldn't he want to waste his tears? Would my…"Legolas said bitterly. Legolas did not finish but Herendil knew what he wanted to ask.

"I suppose Ruthiun may not have cried for your death – I don't know what he felt towards you. Your father, I am certain that he would have. The day he cried was the day that your mother died. Do you remember?"

"Yes. That was a terrible day. I can only remember one thing," Legolas closed his eyes in recollection, "Ada was holding me in his arms and we cried together. I can never forget that day. He said…he said…" Legolas felt like crying but didn't want to. His throat was constricting. "He said that he loved me, that I would always remind him of mother and that…he would always love me."

"He still does love you. That is your answer. He would cry for you because he loves you." Herendil reassured.

"Do you think so?" Legolas sniffed. I won't cry.

"I know so." Herendil said with confidence. Then he added sensitively, "Don't keep it all inside where it will destroy you. Let all the pain out so you can heal. Healers can heal your physical injuries but only you-"

"-Can heal my heart. I know," Legolas sighed. "But I don't know if I could. I find it hard to believe in it, let alone hope." I will only be truly happy if my father loves me. I need him to say it. Why did mother have to die? Could she take me with her. A fresh wave of sorrow hit him, but this one he did not want to talk about. It was too close to his heart. I might cry.

"I will always be here for you," Herendil said. "I will hope for you, that your heart will be healed. Until then, I will carry your hopes for you."

Legolas did not trust himself to answer but he did anyway. "Thank you, nin mellon. For everything." For saving me from myself.

Herendil knew that the discussions were not over. But it was the beginning of the journey that would hopefully bring them where their heart's desire would be fulfilled.

To be continued! Please Review! Any big mistakes you can e-mail me (its in my bio) and I will change it as soon as possible, if it is appropriate! Thanks!