A/N: I have the lingering feeling that I left something out of this… but I cant, for the life of me, find what it could be, so I guess its okay. Leme know if you see a problem or contradiction anywhere.
Oh, and a big shout out to Kevin M. Robinson! For making me think of some things that I would have otherwise forgot. Thanks dude!
Legacy: chapter 27
Haze. Nothing clear, only blurry flashes of light and color. Burst of meaningless noise. Lisa felt trapped in her own thoughts. Allie had been there, with her in the haze, but now… nothing.
"Allie!" Lisa cried out. She could not tell if she was standing or sitting, asleep or awake. It was a dream! This was all a bad dream!
"Where are you? Say something!" Lisa turned around and around. Or she thought she did. Up, down, left, right... everything felt the same. The oddest sensation Lisa had ever felt was this feeling of being everywhere and nowhere all at the same moment in time.
Where am I? Lisa tried to make out a familiar shape in the haze, any object at all. She knew where she had been. With Charlie and the others in the helicopter, searching for Allie. So how did she get here? Where was here?
Was it Allie? Was she speaking to her in some strange, silent language? Was she hurt? Was she…
Lisa spun on her heel. A sound! No… a voice!
"Allie!?" Lisa's voice wavered between hope and fear.
No reply.
"ALLIE!" Lisa cried again. This was not good. Black, formless nothingness settled in around her. Allie had been there! Right beside her only minutes ago… where had she gone?
A test, maybe? Was Allie continuing her training even at this most dangerous of times?
Of course not! Allie was smarter then that!
Then why had she been there?
Where is here? Lisa stumbled over her own foot, falling to the ground, and confirming that she had been standing. The smooth, cold ground was the first thing she could define as real in this abyssal void. A strange mist hung in the air, she could not see it, but she could feel it in her lungs and feel the cooling droplets against her skin. The ground was something solid, tangible. Mist was mist but the ground formed a base to construct a new reality on top of.
Lisa focused her thoughts. Ten deep, slow breaths. She did not know how, or where she had learned the trick, but it worked. Allie's vague lessons could have some how intuitively taught her; or did she pull this from her own dormant alien knowledge?
Cold. Lisa thoughts shifted, brought on by a shiver from her body. The air, if there was even air here, was very cold. She had a second thing to add to her reconstruction. First, smooth, hard ground, now, cold air. But Lisa also realized something else; her body was not linked to her thoughts, it responded slowly, if it responded at all.
Lisa commanded her arm to move. She could not see it, or even feel it! But she could still feel, in a broader sense. And hear, and speak, and taste, and smell.
There was no smell in the air to test with. No noise since Allie's presence had left. Nothing to taste… Lisa could only assume that she still possessed those senses. More then an assumption! Lisa knew, in a way that only the possessor of such senses could know. No proof was required.
But what else? Lisa knew from a light touch of her fingers on her thigh that she was able to move her arms and legs, but she could not feel the movements, or identify where the limbs were in relation to her body in this darkness.
After several failed attempts, Lisa managed to get her feet underneath her and slowly rose to a standing position. For the first time Lisa thought she could remember what it was like to be an infant. It took thought to stand! She had to manually compensate for movements. Adjusting her balance so she would not fall, a low level task usually handled by neurons in the spinal cord before even reaching the brain. But not anymore!
Painkillers? Lisa could remember reading about such phenomenon being brought on by super strong painkillers. Some patients experienced a dulling of the nervous system that slowed or nullified muscle response. Lisa had been fascinated by the concept at the time. But this was terrifying!
WALK! Damn it! Lisa was tempted to yell at her stubborn body, but she started moving eventually.
Was she moving? Lisa looked straight ahead, she could not see or feel motion, but her legs were moving… This is not real. It can't be real!
"What is reality?"
Lisa mentally jumped as Allie's disembodied voice echoed from every direction.
"Allie! What…"
The voice continued: "Reality is what we see, what we hear… all that stuff. And all these things, or our perception of these things, are controlled by our…"
It was a memory; Lisa was remembering the first 'lesson' Allie had taught her. "Our brain!" Lisa knew that it was memory, but she was compelled to respond anyway, "it's controlled by our brain!"
"Yes, the mind is the key to reality. What does a blind person see?"
Allie's memory voice seemed to be prompting Lisa. "Nothing!" she yelled. I see nothing! Am I blind? Lisa commanded her hand up with slightly too much force and slapped herself on the right cheek. Her target had been her eye, but Lisa was glad her disjointed body had bad aim. Lisa wanted to rub her throbbing cheek but she was afraid to move that hand again.
Wait…Lisa's thoughts came at her with new speed, the blind person sees her reality… but what does it mean?
"Is this real?" Lisa lifted her head to yell into the supposed sky, making note of the fact that she could still move her neck muscles. "Allie, is the blackness real?" of course, reality is in the eye of the beholder! I am the beholder…it still doesn't make any sense!
Lisa had the distinct sensation of déjà vu standing in this black void. Why had these memories come to her now? Was this the blackness that Allie had brought over them in that first lesson? Was this all just some strange projected memory? What is happening to me!
As if in answer, a brief flash of light pierced the darkness. It was a picture, an image or frozen memory of that first lesson. The field in Texas! The image had flashed in only a nanosecond, but Lisa could pick it out easily. She knew!
Is it me? Am I doing this! Another flash caught the corner of her eye. Not even one heart beat later, a strong, almost painful tingling sensation flowed throughout Lisa's entire body and she started to become aware of the position of her arms and legs again.
"Things are only as real as you want them to be."
Allie's memory voice echoed again.
"But I don't want this to be real!" Lisa cried, "I want to be back with Charlie!"
"Things are only as real as you want them to be."
"What does it mean?" Lisa was almost reduced to tears. This was all so frightening… What could it mean, and why had Allie gone away from her?
"Things are only as real as you want them to be."
"I know!" Lisa screamed, "I know, I know, I know, I KNOW!"
"You know how to make it unreal."
"No! I don't!"
Lisa failed to notice a change in Allie's memory voice. No longer did it echo from all around. It was now anchored in a specific location.
"Then why did you say: 'I KNOW'?"
"Because I… I heard you…"
"But you do know."
"NO I DON'T!"
"You know and you are afraid to accept it. Your fear still controls you!"
Lisa spun; she had full control of her body back, but still felt dull. The voice had come from a direction behind her. "Allie? Is that you?" no reply came. Lisa stumbled in the direction of the voice, thinking that at any moment she would touch her daughter. Then they could go home and live happily again… but the further she walked into the blackness, the more that hope diminished.
"Control your fear!" the voice again, from directly behind Lisa. She turned again.
"The biggest obstacle to learning is the fear of the unknown." The voice was still behind Lisa
"Where are you?"
"I am a creation of your subconscious. An interactive extension of information you already hold locked in your mind. I am my location."
"What? No… you're Allie!"
"No! I am you!"
Lisa's thoughts spiraled. How is this even possible?
"Because I am special." The voice answered.
"How?" Lisa's mouth hung open. Out of every question spinning in her head she could not think of one better.
"We are one in the same. I am you, and you are special."
"Special?"
"You know what makes you different!"
Yes, Lisa thought, Alien genetics…
"Precisely!"
"You can read my thoughts?" Lisa asked, but immediately flushed with embarrassment. Of course I can read my own thoughts!
"You are catching on… good."
"What caused me to be able to talk to… me?" Lisa asked.
"Necessity."
"Of what?"
"Allie."
"I don't understand…"
"That is why you can talk to me. This is the completion of the first stage of your training."
"How do I know this?"
"You have always known this! It is a part of you!"
Lisa crouched to the ground, hugging her knees. This is not real, I'm going insane!
"To the contrary, you have never been more sane."
"Then why didn't Allie tell me about this… about you-- me?"
"Because this is something that you have to learn on your own. Any interference in this process would have made advancement impossible."
"Did Allie have to do this?"
"Yes."
"Why didn't she tell me? She was only a little kid."
"My daughter was never truly a little kid, she only looked the part!"
"I don't believe you!" Lisa covered her ears and screamed as loud as she could. Covering her ears would do nothing to stop the voice, but that didn't matter. It was something. In this horribly confusing mess, it was something! All Lisa wanted to do was run far away. But that would do nothing. She wanted all this to go away! How can I control my fear!
The inner voice was oddly silent.
"What do I do!" Lisa demanded, "How can I control fear?"
Silence.
"It's not possible! You can't control something like that!" Lisa curled up on the floor, she wanted to disappear. She wanted to cry! To let everything come rushing out, but something stopped it. Why!
"Knowledge creates fear." The inner voice soothed, still speaking in Allie's remembered voice.
"What?"
Silence!
Lisa could feel a seething rage building within her. She spoke with even, spaced words, afraid that she would lose her control, what little she had left, at any moment: "my daughter… our daughter is out there, somewhere, and she is hurting. Help me…"
"Interference will make advancement impossible, you must find your own answer."
"But you have already interfered!" Lisa yelled out, furious. "Talking to… me is interfering!"
"Is it?"
Lisa held back her anger, realizing that she was only angry with herself. Am I really such a bitch? No answer came from the inner voice, a bad sign. Lisa was afraid to know the answer, to hear it in her own thoughts.
Memories, thousands of pictures and sounds and smells swarmed Lisa's thoughts, but nothing helped clear the haze. A huge knot was the only result. Everything was so twisted and mangled, meanings mixed, names and places crisscrossed. Lisa started to sense the energy being dissipated from her brain. The simultaneous firings of synapses, the build up of body chemicals, it was all suddenly visible to her senses for the first time.
Lisa sat up straight. New meanings flooded into her mind, replacing old misconceptions. The haze was clearing!
"Is this it?" Lisa asked, fully knowing that the inner voice had been permanently silenced. The energy she felt was the melding of both parts of her mind, subconscious to conscious and visa-versa. The inner voice was now a part of her conscious thoughts.
Knowledge creates fear… if I ignore what I know as the bounds of human possibility, then I have defeated knowledge, and defeated fear. Of course! Knowledge creates fear, Willpower controls Knowledge… The coffee mug… I've had it within me all along!
Lisa needed no conformation. She Knew. Not the same as knowing that the answer to question 25 is B, or that the Sun will always rise from the East. This was a deeper knowledge, a base extending from the most primitive core of her being outward. A knowledge both comforting and terrifying at the same time.
I am the only one in control of my Will. I am the only one responsible!
"I WILL help Allie!"
Instantly, as soon as Lisa had uttered those four words, the blackness dissolved and she opened her eyes to a blurry view of army vehicles. Lisa sat up rigidly, shocking Charlie and the little boy that had come with Mary, who still stood close by.
"Lisa?" Charlie's voice carried a tone of questioning excitement that Lisa had only heard from him once before. Urgency. Lisa soon saw the reason for this excitement hanging over the road in all its alien brilliance. And she knew what had to be done.
She stood, her eyes locked forward on a spot in the road directly beneath the center of the hovering saucer. Lisa was being guided by a new part of her being. Something that had lain dormant for her entire life had awakened. She did not know any terms to define it, but she no longer needed to define her actions. All that mattered was that it was there, a whole new awareness.
Connections… Lisa's eyes scanned the crowd of people who all stared at the saucer overhead. They found it so interesting… to Lisa it was merely a conveyance, a non-conventional way to help her daughter, and she knew who was on board. Not for a fact, it was a feeling, a sensation deep in her chest. My grandfather… and Ka'len, and someone else Lisa was quickly able to identify the passengers. She continued scanning the crowd even when a blinding bolt of energy erupted down from the center of the craft, depositing Ka'len and that someone else on the road. I can feel all of them…and see the connections. Is this what Allie feels like all the time?
Lisa held a new respect for the marvel that was her daughter. She did not know how to define what she felt, but it appeared to her as expanding waves, or pulses of some form of energy eminating from every body. The waves were not visible in a conventional way, Lisa knew that some new sense was reveling all this to her. She continued to probe into the crowd with her new senses as a trend started to show itself to her. Every waveform is different… signals?
Was this what John had spoken of five years ago when Allie had first turned off her and Charlie's "signals". Lisa had failed to ask Allie because, well, the excitement of having her daughter back had made such silly little questions seem pointless. But now that she could see and feel some of what Allie must experience on a daily basis, questions were multiplying upon questions.
Turning her attention away from the awestruck army personnel, Lisa laid eyes on Ka'len and the boy who approached. And she noticed something new. The boy, whom she now identified as Tyler, shared the same type of 'signal' as the other humans. Ka'len's signal was tame in comparison, and it was smooth. The human signals pulsated with rawness, an untamed energy. Quickly, before Ka'len and the boy reached her, Lisa turned and studied Charlie; he possessed the same wild signal. Lisa could see Mary and someone with a camera standing to her left, both showing that same signal. But the little boy. Jamie, was his name? His signal, while still raw, showed some of the more tamed traits that Ka'len displayed.
What can it mean? Lisa questioned as she turned back, coming face to face with Ka'len.
At least, it looked like same girl. There was something new though. Something in those powder blue eyes that betrayed her human shell. They lacked the life that Lisa observed in Tyler's. Even though his eyes displayed a distant quality, Ka'len must have done something to him like Allie had done to Charlie and herself.
Ka'len studied Lisa intensely for several seconds before coming to her conclusion: "you have awakened." She stated, there was no need to question.
Lisa nodded. Ka'len could sense the fevered pace of Lisa's thoughts as the inferno of discovery raged on within her. But there was also the unsettling sensation that Lisa could sense the confused and struggling emotions within her. A feeling Ka'len only got when Allie looked at her. Lisa is as powerful as Allie! Ka'len's thoughts registered surprise and alarm as much as excitement. John, no doubt had picked that up, but he did not respond in any way, cognitive or emotionally.
"I…" Lisa spoke with a dry mouth, "I know how to find Allie, I can find Allie."
Ka'len gave a very small nod forward then shot her eyes up at Charlie as he approached from behind Lisa. Good, Ka'len thought, Charlie was more concerned with Lisa then in the Varin overhead. For some reason…He stared at her as if he could not believe what he was seeing.
Lisa saw Ka'len's eye movement but she had already sensed Charlie's approach. Jamie also moved closer, but fear was present in him; he was not quite sure what to think. Lisa wondered how he had gotten with Mary in the first place, and why was his signal so much more uniform then everyone else's? Ka'len had noticed the signal anomaly as well, Lisa saw, by the way she was now staring at the boy. That's not helping his confidence any…
Ka'len shifted her gaze back to Lisa as if she had heard Lisa's thoughts. A coincidence… or something more? Allie had assured her that thoughts could only be probed under special circumstances. Was this one of those circumstances? Lisa wondered, and: can I do it too?
"Not yet." Ka'len spoke.
She is probing my thoughts!
"Yes,"
Lisa noted a very new, very creepy quality in Ka'len's voice, but she could not tell what it meant. So many questions! Everything was happening so fast, and every second they stood here was one less second they could be helping Allie.
Something flashed behind Lisa's eyes, "Charlie." She called, causing him to jump. "We need your help."
Charlie nodded, never taking his eyes off of Lisa for a second. Who is she? The way she stood, the tone of her voice, the expression on her face… she was like a whole different person.
Charlie managed to compose a simple question: "what happened?"
He couldn't tell if Lisa didn't hear, or if she just didn't care to answer. Lisa's eyes were locked with Ka'len's in what could only be described as a silent conversation. Charlie continued to watch for what seemed to him like several minutes. Jamie took a step toward Tyler within Charlie's field of vision, showing him that it had truly only been several seconds.
"I understand." Lisa spoke. It took Charlie several seconds more to register that she had directed the words at him.
"Understand what?"
Lisa turned toward him, extended a hand in a gesture for him to join her, and said: "everything… and its not as scary as I thought it would be."
Unknown to herself, Mary slowly inched closer to the focal point of everyone's attention. She was so caught up in the moment, and so drawn to the girl, Ka'len, that her body had taken over and was determined to put her in the middle of this, whatever this was.
Mary's unconscious movements did not escape the observant eyes of a journalist, however, and sensing the opportunity to get closer to this story, Christina followed. Some fear still lingered, but the initial shock of all she had just seen was long gone, replaced by excitement and curiosity.
Christina could sense a very deep story here. Alien life was one thing… well, a huge thing, but putting a human face on this could lead to a Pulitzer! Yes, Christina thought it odd for such a selfish and silly thought to cross her thoughts now, of all times, but recognition had been her driving goal all along. And now this! It was a dream come true.
One notable absence nagged in the corner of Christina's mind.
Tony! She turned to find him and his camera still firmly focused on the hovering saucer. Heart pounding with excitement and from the energy in the air, Christina rushed back, grabbed Tony by the arm, and pulled him toward Mary and the others, despite his momentary protest.
"Miss Crawford," Ka'len turned her attention to Mary as she approached. "I require a two way communications… a 'radio'."
Mary pulled the radio Keith had given her from her pocket almost as soon as the girl finished speaking and preceded to cautiously close the rest of the distance between them.
Ka'len gestured to Lisa when Mary offered the radio, "I require it for Lisa. So that we may communicate directly."
"Why?" Mary and Charlie asked in an eerie unison that obviously did not sit well with Charlie, he still did not trust the woman.
"Lisa, Charlie," Ka'len gave a quick glance to Jamie and Tyler, "and these will conclude the search from the Varin, I will remain here."
Mary could see the girls eyes fall on the reporter and her camera man, then Ka'len spoke again: "that is a camera? Good, I have been instructed in the proper way to handle this announcement." She looked back to Mary, "you will assist me in the declaration."
"Declaration?" Mary asked, but she thought she already had a good idea of what Ka'len meant. What else could an alien declare on live TV? Mary just hoped Ka'len would not say something like: 'take me to your leader'. That would just be embarrassing…
"Why are you staying?" Lisa asked
"And why do I have to go?" Jamie demanded. Tyler just stood there, still dazed from what ever he had seen.
"You all share a connection with Allie," Ka'len turned to Jamie, "and she has instructed you in some way… Combined, you will feed the sensors with enough power to locate Allie's weak signal."
Lisa nodded, several answers to unasked questions had just been provided. And for the first time, Lisa grasped the concept Allie had attempted to explain in that first lesson. She could sense the thread that connected them all to Allie. The most surprising thing was the strength of Tyler's connection to Allie. It was just as strong as Charlie's, and even her own.