Title:
Knowing, with certainty
Author: All Things Holy
Rating: PG
Pairing: CJ/Toby
Email: fox_e_girl_7@hotmail.com, feedback is better than ice cream
Disclaimer: Oh, you must be joking.
Summary: "Of all the things she would forget, she knows without a doubt that he
could never be one of them."
Spoilers: The Two Bartlets, The Long Goodbye, Debate Camp
It kills her watching him slipping away like this. We're born with a knowledge that mothers are superheroes and fathers are infallible. Slowly, that's slipping away, replaced by the fact that her mother is dead and her father often can't even remember her name.
She hates that she was so transparent, the way he knew exactly why she didn't want to go home. Because she's been let down by so many men, himself included, and above all, daddy's not ever supposed to make you cry.
She came back from Dayton and couldn't look at him. It killed her that she couldn't meet his eye but he could ask her for advice on how to spin his ex-wife's pregnancy. She hates that she has to remind herself that she's not the one who should feel guilty.
She lies away at night, she still hasn't quite gotten used to her empty bed. She thinks about her father, the way he is and how he used to be. The way things can only get worse from here. Some nights she can't remember if Alzheimers is hereditary, if she too will forget names and faces and dates and the things she's been so sure of all her life. She wonders if Toby, like Molly, will run off, then scolds herself for still expecting him to always be there. Of all the things she would forget, she knows without a doubt that he could never be one of them.
Staring at an empty ceiling, she tries to decide if that's something to take comfort in.