Nothing. For over a week Willow had been looking for any information regarding Kat, Egyptian curses, and that weird bit of prophecy that they had come across, and so far she hadn't found anything useful. Frowning, the tiny redhead pushed away from her laptop in disgust, leaning back in her chair to stare out her balcony doors. Her emerald gaze turned pensive as her thoughts focused on another disturbing problem: Angel. Ever since the meeting in the library he had secluded himself in the mansion. Several times the hacker had tried to stop by, offering food or someone to talk to, but he had met her attempts with polite refusals and subtly, but firmly, made it clear he didn't want her around.
The idea that maybe she had somehow made the vampire mad saddened the redhead. As she stared off into space she nibbled on her lower lip worriedly. The rest of the group aside, she was the only one who had gone by to visit the souled vampire. Everyone else, while coming to terms with the idea of Angel being alive, were not so eager to become bosom buddies with him. She didn't like the idea of him being all alone in that mansion, with no friends, because he wouldn't accept her overtures toward friendship.
So caught up was she in her dark musings that Willow didn't hear the pounding on the door downstairs, or the voice that called out from below. It wasn't until she felt a slight touch on her shoulder that the tiny woman reacted, shrieking and twisting as she tried to stand…all of which caused the poor redhead to get tangled up in her chair and fell backwards on her bedroom floor. Closing her eyes, Willow tensed for an attack. When none came, she cautiously rolled over, cracking one eye open to gaze up at her assailant.
Green eyes twinkled down in amusement at the hacker, eyes that shifted between light and dark colors. Lips curved into a half smile, and the young woman standing over her leaned against her chair with both arms, one eyebrow raised questioningly at the redhead's strange antics.
"I take it you didn't hear me come up," Kat murmured as she watched Willow lay on the floor, her lips twitching once more with the urge to grin as the redhead shot her a murderous glare. Pretending to ignore the deadly threat in the other woman's eyes, Kat plunged on nonchalantly, her voice low as she spoke. "I knocked on the door, but you never answered. I knew you were supposed to be home, so I came on up to see if you were still alive."
Upon seeing the brunette in her room, the proverbial light bulb turned on in Willows head. Kat could be the answer to her 'Angel' problem. A truly evil glint in the redhead's eye went unnoticed by the werecat. Bolting up off the floor the elfin girl launched herself at her new friend, closing arms around her neck and hugging the startled woman tightly.
"Kat! I'm so glad you're here; you can help me with my problem! I've been trying to figure out what to do, and then you show up and now everything will be ok…" her babbling voice trailed off as Kat pushed her back slightly, regarding the other young woman with one raised eyebrow.
"Whoa! Slow down there…what problem?" She was still smiling when she noticed the serious look that crossed the redhead's features. 'Whatever the problem it, it must be serious to disturb her so,' Kat mused, her expression becoming one of concern. "What's wrong?"
'Oh boy, how do I explain' Willow thought desperately to herself. Deciding to just say it, she gushed out her dilemma, 'I'mworriedaboutAngel. Hedoesn'ttalktome, hewon'tletmecomeover,andIthinkheisbackinbroodmode. Couldyougotalktohim?"
Staring at Willow, Kat forced herself to breathe. Even after knowing Willow for a few weeks, she still could not get used to the other girl's remarkable talent of condensing a one-minute speech into five seconds. As her brain tried to decipher the babbling that was 'Willowspeak' Kat took a closer look at her new friend. Over the past week the brunette had let down her defenses a little and allowed the young redhead to know her on a more personal level. Right now her little friend was worried, her sprightly green eyes troubled and her shoulders hunched in dejection. 'This tiny thing is one of those people you'd do anything for, because you know she'd do anything for you.' Kat thought, smiling. Her brain finally figured out what Willow had been babbling about. "You want me to do WHAT?" The brunette asked, a slightly hysterical edge to her voice.
"Kat please, let me explain…" Willow began, but the other woman made a slashing gesture with her arm, eyes blazing as the hacker fell silent.
"Are. You. Insane?" the brunette ground out through her teeth, her eyes a dark emerald she glared at Willow. Her arms gesturing crazily in the air, the angry woman began to pace, ranting as she went. "You want me to go to that…that vamp's house…and comfort him?" Seeing the other girl nod slightly, she fumed. "Willow, he hates me, and frankly I'm not too fond of him either!" Still pacing, she added, "Why can't you just go over there yourself? I mean you're the only one so far who has any influence on him."
"Because," Willow whispered, hugging herself as she answered, "Because he doesn't want me around." The tremor in her voice caused the dark-haired young woman to freeze, dark eyes seeking out emerald ones. Watching Willow's eyes cloud up with self-doubt and worry, Kat's hatred for the vampire grew. Closing her own flickering orbs, the brunette cursed the day he had been brought back from Hell. Dammit, but Willow didn't deserve to be hurt when all she was trying to do was to help someone in pain. He could go back to hell for all she cared, and she was about to tell the redhead these very words when she made the mistake of opening her eyes.
Tears filled the redhead's eyes, threatening to spill over as she gazed beseechingly at the other young woman. Her lower lip trembled and her shoulders slumped, crimson hair falling forward to obscure part of her face, though not enough to keep Kat from seeing the myriad of emotions playing across the hacker's face.
'Christ, she looks like a kicked puppy,' the brunette growled silently, whirling around so her back was to the redhead. Hands clenching so tight the knuckles turned white, Kat debated and weighed her options carefully. Minutes seemed to stretch out into hours, and still they stood in the middle of Willow's room, silent as their thoughts reeled heavily. Slowly Kat opened her eyes, staring at the wall as she gave Willow her quiet reply.
"I'll do it," the brunette's words were low, her voice hoarse from the effort it took to reign in her temper, but they cracked through the room like a whip, causing Willow to gasp in shock. Blinking her tears back rapidly, the redhead smiled in relief, taking a step forward to thank Kat. She froze as the other woman turned her head, nearly black eyes fixing the hacker to the spot in surprise. Red fire seemed to blaze from the depths as her lip curled in a near snarl, causing a tinge of fear to spread through Willow's body. "Don't thank me!" the werewoman hissed, storming out the door before another word could be spoken.
Willow stared at the open bedroom door, shock and fear coursing through her veins, until she heard the front door slam downstairs. Her knees buckling, the redhead sat down on the edge of her bed in a rush, her mouth still partly open as she took deep, ragged breaths. Her hands gripped the bedcover tightly as she bent forward, closing her eyes.
'Dear Goddess, what have I done?" the hacker lamented silently. "She'll kill him!"
* * * * * * * *
On the other side of town, Angel was oblivious to the storm brewing in his direction. Slouched down in his leather couch, the souled vampire sat in darkness, staring at the flames within his fireplace. One arm propped up by the couch, his fingers to his temple, the dark-haired vampire sighed heavily. The emptiness stretched out before him like a tomb, causing a sharp pang of loneliness.
Almost immediately the image of a cheerful redhead swam behind his eyes, as if answering his silent plea for companionship. Scowling, Angel closed his eyes, willing the image to go away with some difficulty. He couldn't, wouldn't think about Willow right now. Friendship such as hers should never be bestowed on a creature as despicable as he.
As Willow's face wavered, then faded from his mind, Angel tried to think of something, anything other than the kind redhead who had tried repeatedly to give him her friendship over the past week. Unbidden another person took her place: the same delicate features, set in an altogether darker, more alluring face. The vampire's scowl deepened further as his memory produced every detail of the mysterious hellcat's face.
'Invasive little kitten,' he mused darkly, pondering his volatile reaction to the dark beauty. Her abrupt manners with him every time they met left him rather annoyed, and yet there was a part of him that sympathized with the tiny woman. Certainly she seemed to have suffered through something tragic in her past, something that struck a chord in the ensouled vampire.
The sound of a board creaking under someone's foot drew the vampire out of his brooding. Standing and whirling around to face the trespasser, Angel was completely unprepared to see Kat standing in the doorway, as if summoned by his thoughts. One eyebrow rose as he regarded the deadly crossbow she had leveled at him…certainly he hadn't imagined this situation. Nor had he anticipated the dark look she was giving him, dark emerald orbs tinged with deadly red fire. 'Strange, she looks ready to kill.' As he waited for her to move, his mind swamped with questions, the dark-haired woman spoke.
"You have five seconds to give me one good reason not to shoot you where you stand Dead Boy."
* * * * * * * * *
'Correction…kitten already has my tombstone carved,' Angel noted dryly, gauging her actions cautiously, his face expressionless as he eyed her slender finger and the crossbow trigger that lay beneath it. Chocolate orbs moved upward, taking in the determinedly angry expression on the young woman's face. Apparently he wasn't responding fast enough for her, for her eyes narrowed, a hissing sound escaping her lush lips.
"Well?" she demanded impatiently, "aren't you going to answer me?"
"I would if I knew what the question was." His voice was smooth, belying the nervous way his eyes darted back to the crossbow repeatedly. It took much effort for him not to flinch as he watched her finger tighten almost imperceptibly on the trigger. "What do you want to know?" He kept his voice soft, hoping to soothe the hellcat enough to find out what was going on…and not get staked in the process.
Kat eyed the hulking vampire warily. Though he was still weak from his inter-dimensional vacation the brunette knew he would be a formidable opponent if he decided to attack her. She cocked her dark head, glaring daggers at him as she responded. "I want to know why I shouldn't kill you for upsetting and worrying Willow. She likes you for some reason and you're tearing her up inside by refusing her friendship."
Kat paused to take in his expression before continuing. The pain reflected in those mahogany orbs almost made her feel sorry for the vampire, but she persisted in her rant. "Now I haven't known Wills very long, but it seems to me that a friendship like hers only comes along once in a lifetime, or several in your case. She risked her life for you, twice if I'm remembering right. She saved your goddamn soul and then risked untold tortures to bring you out of hell and what do you do to thank her? You turn your back and tell her to leave you to your misery. Well fuck that! You're either gonna give me a good explanation to take back to that girl, or you're gonna get acquainted with the wrong end of this crossbow. Take your pick."
Angel bowed his head as Kat's angry words washed over him, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his guilt. He never meant to hurt Willow. He just couldn't look at her and not see another person staring back. It was the eyes, those horrible, trusting eyes. They reminded him of all he had lost long ago…by his own hand.
Gradually the guilt-ridden vampire became aware of the silence that clung to the room. Eyes closing, he sighed, sensing Kat was waiting for his explanation. "I…never meant to hurt her," he responded softly, keeping his eyes on the floor as he spoke, refusing to look up at the protective woman who stood before him. "I just…I can't face her." He paused, waiting for Kat to make some comment. When she remained silent however he continued, his words spilling forth in an anguished rasp as he closed his eyes. "She trusts me. After all I've done to them, to her, she still trusts me. I see it every time I look in her eyes, or see her smile. She trusts me…just like my sister did all those years ago."
Raising his head, he opened his eyes, laying his soul bare before the other woman. "Don't you understand!" he shouted, "I look at her, and I see my sister all over again! I see her reaching out to me, trusting me completely. Never once would it enter her mind that her big brother would hurt her, or that he'd kill her, Mother, and Father. Drain them dry. Not her big brother…never his kind friend Willow." Dark, bitter eyes locked onto shocked emerald ones, Angel continued, his voice straining with emotion. "I can't take it kitten. I can't accept the forgiveness in her eyes. It's like having my sister forgive me for killing her."
Kat stared openly at the vampire who bared his soul to her, her mouth parted in surprise. 'My god, he sees Willow as the little sister he killed.' The depth of anguish in his eyes as he looked at the brunette had her holding her breath in dazed wonderment; reeling from the guilt he carried so close to his heart. As his eyes slowly slid off hers back to the ground, she let out her breath in one hiss of air.
'He's really torn up over this,' she realized, watching the tremor that shook his shoulders as he let his guilt overwhelm him. 'Damn but I don't want to feel bad for him.' But she couldn't help herself, because she knew how guilt, whether deserved or no, could eat a person alive inside. Chewing on her lower lip, a nervous trait she unconsciously picked up from her petite hacker friend, Kat pondered what to do next.
'I could just leave him, tell Willow why he is avoiding her.' But that idea didn't sit when with the brunette. Willow was bound to rush over to console Angel, and in the state he was in seeing her would only compound the problem, good intentions aside. Grimly Kat came to only one conclusion, but it was even less appealing to her. 'It's the only thing that would work though,' she mused, slowing lowering the crossbow. Setting it down on the floor, the brunette steeled herself mentally and cautiously took a step forward. When the morose vampire didn't move or raise his head she moved closer, stopping a few inches away from him. As she cocked her head to the side, a wave of sympathy for the dark-haired vampire rose inside her, to be squashed by grim determination.
'This has to be done,' she told herself, seeing him begin to stir out of his dark brooding. As he began to lift his head she raised her arm.
He didn't see her hand until it was too late.
* * * * * * * * * *
CRACK! The speed of the slap had Angel stumbling backwards in shock. Covering his already throbbing cheek with one hand the dumbfounded vampire gaped at Kat as she glared at him, eyes conveying a look of disgust and anger.
"You fucking coward!" The hurt look that crossed the vampire's features as she cursed him made the werecat feel lower than dirt. She hated to do this, hated to add physical pain to the mental anguish he was already suffering, but he needed this shock. Much like slapping a hysterical woman in order to stop her from screaming, shock could help someone in the bowels of despair crawl back out of the shadows. And so Kat kept her face from revealing any of her sympathies as she leaned forward, jabbing one dainty finger into the vampire's t-shirt clad chest. Hard. Shaking her dark head at the confounded vampire Kat ranted, getting right into his face.
"So you're afraid to be forgiven is that it? You've been around what two and a half centuries now? You've seen all the atrocities this world has to offer and you choose the forgiveness of one tiny girl to be afraid of? Man, that's just stupid. You're acting like forgiveness is a reward to be granted. It's not. Forgiveness is something given freely not because someone deserves it, but because they need it."
If the slap hadn't shocked Angel, the hellcat's ranting sure did. He didn't want to hear her words, because they made more sense than he cared to admit. Still, her voice had him spellbound: he had no choice but to listen, wide-eyed as she continued. "Look, I know you feel bad about all the things you've done, and that's good. That's what separates you from the monsters. But you're blowing it out of proportion here. Your grief and guilt are keeping you from doing anything that might make you feel better."
Kat wasn't finished talking, but some of the anger had drained out of her voice. Taking Angel's arm, she gently but firmly dragged him to the sofa, pushing him down to sit before taking a seat opposite him. When she continued her voice was more subdued, but no less compelling. "If you can't think of forgiveness as anything but something to be earned, then go out and earn it. You'll never get anywhere sitting here in the dark, that's for sure. Do you know that, despite not having any sort of super powers, Willow and Xander patrol the park and cemeteries every night? How are you going to feel if one or both of them die out there when you could've saved them, if only you'd been fighting beside them instead of sitting here brooding about a past you cant change?"
The last sentence made Angel's head jerk up, dark orbs meeting Kat's serious emerald ones. He hadn't known the kids had taken over patrols. He hadn't even been able to bring himself to lurk in the shadows, watching the group as he had done in the past, since he'd been back. Knowing she'd gotten through to the vampire Kat decided to push just a little more, to make sure Angel would stop acting like an idiot.
"Go out there and make an effort Angel," knowing her use of his name would make sure he paid attention. Her lips curved into a slight smile, which she offered him as she continued. "I think you'll find it's worth the trouble. You don't have to suffer alone and in silence. You've got friends, and I know Willow would be beyond thrilled to have you around. And if you had nothing in this world but that little redhead's friendship, you'd be the luckiest creature in existence, and that's a fact. Think about it."
Rising up from her seat, Kat gave Angel one last look before heading for the door, pausing only to pick up her crossbow. A little embarrassed at the length and depth of her lecture, the brunette was too lost in thought to hear the whispered 'thank you kitten' that trailed after her.
Minutes ticked away, and still Angel remained sitting in the living room, staring into space as Kat's words echoed in his mind. 'She's right,' he admitted to himself, shaking his head to clear it of the paralyzing effect her rant had on him. 'I can't hide from my problems, I need to face them.' His lips twisted as he thought about how right the hellcat had been, only to flinch slightly as his cheek reminded him just how she had gotten her point across. Gingerly he touched his cheek, stroking it as he thought about what to do next.
'Wait a minute…didn't she say they went patrolling at night?' Glancing up at the clock over his mantle, Angel noted that the sun had set nearly an hour ago. They would probably be heading out the cemetery as soon as the hellcat caught up with them. Standing up, the dark-haired vampire went in search of his favorite black jacket. 'Can't let them have all the fun,' he thought as he headed for the front door.
Just as he was leaving the mansion, an errant thought wormed its way into his head. This time his cheek didn't throb as much as his lips turned upward, forming a slight smile as he contemplated this new curiosity.
'I wonder how good the kitten is with her claws.'
The idea that maybe she had somehow made the vampire mad saddened the redhead. As she stared off into space she nibbled on her lower lip worriedly. The rest of the group aside, she was the only one who had gone by to visit the souled vampire. Everyone else, while coming to terms with the idea of Angel being alive, were not so eager to become bosom buddies with him. She didn't like the idea of him being all alone in that mansion, with no friends, because he wouldn't accept her overtures toward friendship.
So caught up was she in her dark musings that Willow didn't hear the pounding on the door downstairs, or the voice that called out from below. It wasn't until she felt a slight touch on her shoulder that the tiny woman reacted, shrieking and twisting as she tried to stand…all of which caused the poor redhead to get tangled up in her chair and fell backwards on her bedroom floor. Closing her eyes, Willow tensed for an attack. When none came, she cautiously rolled over, cracking one eye open to gaze up at her assailant.
Green eyes twinkled down in amusement at the hacker, eyes that shifted between light and dark colors. Lips curved into a half smile, and the young woman standing over her leaned against her chair with both arms, one eyebrow raised questioningly at the redhead's strange antics.
"I take it you didn't hear me come up," Kat murmured as she watched Willow lay on the floor, her lips twitching once more with the urge to grin as the redhead shot her a murderous glare. Pretending to ignore the deadly threat in the other woman's eyes, Kat plunged on nonchalantly, her voice low as she spoke. "I knocked on the door, but you never answered. I knew you were supposed to be home, so I came on up to see if you were still alive."
Upon seeing the brunette in her room, the proverbial light bulb turned on in Willows head. Kat could be the answer to her 'Angel' problem. A truly evil glint in the redhead's eye went unnoticed by the werecat. Bolting up off the floor the elfin girl launched herself at her new friend, closing arms around her neck and hugging the startled woman tightly.
"Kat! I'm so glad you're here; you can help me with my problem! I've been trying to figure out what to do, and then you show up and now everything will be ok…" her babbling voice trailed off as Kat pushed her back slightly, regarding the other young woman with one raised eyebrow.
"Whoa! Slow down there…what problem?" She was still smiling when she noticed the serious look that crossed the redhead's features. 'Whatever the problem it, it must be serious to disturb her so,' Kat mused, her expression becoming one of concern. "What's wrong?"
'Oh boy, how do I explain' Willow thought desperately to herself. Deciding to just say it, she gushed out her dilemma, 'I'mworriedaboutAngel. Hedoesn'ttalktome, hewon'tletmecomeover,andIthinkheisbackinbroodmode. Couldyougotalktohim?"
Staring at Willow, Kat forced herself to breathe. Even after knowing Willow for a few weeks, she still could not get used to the other girl's remarkable talent of condensing a one-minute speech into five seconds. As her brain tried to decipher the babbling that was 'Willowspeak' Kat took a closer look at her new friend. Over the past week the brunette had let down her defenses a little and allowed the young redhead to know her on a more personal level. Right now her little friend was worried, her sprightly green eyes troubled and her shoulders hunched in dejection. 'This tiny thing is one of those people you'd do anything for, because you know she'd do anything for you.' Kat thought, smiling. Her brain finally figured out what Willow had been babbling about. "You want me to do WHAT?" The brunette asked, a slightly hysterical edge to her voice.
"Kat please, let me explain…" Willow began, but the other woman made a slashing gesture with her arm, eyes blazing as the hacker fell silent.
"Are. You. Insane?" the brunette ground out through her teeth, her eyes a dark emerald she glared at Willow. Her arms gesturing crazily in the air, the angry woman began to pace, ranting as she went. "You want me to go to that…that vamp's house…and comfort him?" Seeing the other girl nod slightly, she fumed. "Willow, he hates me, and frankly I'm not too fond of him either!" Still pacing, she added, "Why can't you just go over there yourself? I mean you're the only one so far who has any influence on him."
"Because," Willow whispered, hugging herself as she answered, "Because he doesn't want me around." The tremor in her voice caused the dark-haired young woman to freeze, dark eyes seeking out emerald ones. Watching Willow's eyes cloud up with self-doubt and worry, Kat's hatred for the vampire grew. Closing her own flickering orbs, the brunette cursed the day he had been brought back from Hell. Dammit, but Willow didn't deserve to be hurt when all she was trying to do was to help someone in pain. He could go back to hell for all she cared, and she was about to tell the redhead these very words when she made the mistake of opening her eyes.
Tears filled the redhead's eyes, threatening to spill over as she gazed beseechingly at the other young woman. Her lower lip trembled and her shoulders slumped, crimson hair falling forward to obscure part of her face, though not enough to keep Kat from seeing the myriad of emotions playing across the hacker's face.
'Christ, she looks like a kicked puppy,' the brunette growled silently, whirling around so her back was to the redhead. Hands clenching so tight the knuckles turned white, Kat debated and weighed her options carefully. Minutes seemed to stretch out into hours, and still they stood in the middle of Willow's room, silent as their thoughts reeled heavily. Slowly Kat opened her eyes, staring at the wall as she gave Willow her quiet reply.
"I'll do it," the brunette's words were low, her voice hoarse from the effort it took to reign in her temper, but they cracked through the room like a whip, causing Willow to gasp in shock. Blinking her tears back rapidly, the redhead smiled in relief, taking a step forward to thank Kat. She froze as the other woman turned her head, nearly black eyes fixing the hacker to the spot in surprise. Red fire seemed to blaze from the depths as her lip curled in a near snarl, causing a tinge of fear to spread through Willow's body. "Don't thank me!" the werewoman hissed, storming out the door before another word could be spoken.
Willow stared at the open bedroom door, shock and fear coursing through her veins, until she heard the front door slam downstairs. Her knees buckling, the redhead sat down on the edge of her bed in a rush, her mouth still partly open as she took deep, ragged breaths. Her hands gripped the bedcover tightly as she bent forward, closing her eyes.
'Dear Goddess, what have I done?" the hacker lamented silently. "She'll kill him!"
* * * * * * * *
On the other side of town, Angel was oblivious to the storm brewing in his direction. Slouched down in his leather couch, the souled vampire sat in darkness, staring at the flames within his fireplace. One arm propped up by the couch, his fingers to his temple, the dark-haired vampire sighed heavily. The emptiness stretched out before him like a tomb, causing a sharp pang of loneliness.
Almost immediately the image of a cheerful redhead swam behind his eyes, as if answering his silent plea for companionship. Scowling, Angel closed his eyes, willing the image to go away with some difficulty. He couldn't, wouldn't think about Willow right now. Friendship such as hers should never be bestowed on a creature as despicable as he.
As Willow's face wavered, then faded from his mind, Angel tried to think of something, anything other than the kind redhead who had tried repeatedly to give him her friendship over the past week. Unbidden another person took her place: the same delicate features, set in an altogether darker, more alluring face. The vampire's scowl deepened further as his memory produced every detail of the mysterious hellcat's face.
'Invasive little kitten,' he mused darkly, pondering his volatile reaction to the dark beauty. Her abrupt manners with him every time they met left him rather annoyed, and yet there was a part of him that sympathized with the tiny woman. Certainly she seemed to have suffered through something tragic in her past, something that struck a chord in the ensouled vampire.
The sound of a board creaking under someone's foot drew the vampire out of his brooding. Standing and whirling around to face the trespasser, Angel was completely unprepared to see Kat standing in the doorway, as if summoned by his thoughts. One eyebrow rose as he regarded the deadly crossbow she had leveled at him…certainly he hadn't imagined this situation. Nor had he anticipated the dark look she was giving him, dark emerald orbs tinged with deadly red fire. 'Strange, she looks ready to kill.' As he waited for her to move, his mind swamped with questions, the dark-haired woman spoke.
"You have five seconds to give me one good reason not to shoot you where you stand Dead Boy."
* * * * * * * * *
'Correction…kitten already has my tombstone carved,' Angel noted dryly, gauging her actions cautiously, his face expressionless as he eyed her slender finger and the crossbow trigger that lay beneath it. Chocolate orbs moved upward, taking in the determinedly angry expression on the young woman's face. Apparently he wasn't responding fast enough for her, for her eyes narrowed, a hissing sound escaping her lush lips.
"Well?" she demanded impatiently, "aren't you going to answer me?"
"I would if I knew what the question was." His voice was smooth, belying the nervous way his eyes darted back to the crossbow repeatedly. It took much effort for him not to flinch as he watched her finger tighten almost imperceptibly on the trigger. "What do you want to know?" He kept his voice soft, hoping to soothe the hellcat enough to find out what was going on…and not get staked in the process.
Kat eyed the hulking vampire warily. Though he was still weak from his inter-dimensional vacation the brunette knew he would be a formidable opponent if he decided to attack her. She cocked her dark head, glaring daggers at him as she responded. "I want to know why I shouldn't kill you for upsetting and worrying Willow. She likes you for some reason and you're tearing her up inside by refusing her friendship."
Kat paused to take in his expression before continuing. The pain reflected in those mahogany orbs almost made her feel sorry for the vampire, but she persisted in her rant. "Now I haven't known Wills very long, but it seems to me that a friendship like hers only comes along once in a lifetime, or several in your case. She risked her life for you, twice if I'm remembering right. She saved your goddamn soul and then risked untold tortures to bring you out of hell and what do you do to thank her? You turn your back and tell her to leave you to your misery. Well fuck that! You're either gonna give me a good explanation to take back to that girl, or you're gonna get acquainted with the wrong end of this crossbow. Take your pick."
Angel bowed his head as Kat's angry words washed over him, his shoulders slumping with the weight of his guilt. He never meant to hurt Willow. He just couldn't look at her and not see another person staring back. It was the eyes, those horrible, trusting eyes. They reminded him of all he had lost long ago…by his own hand.
Gradually the guilt-ridden vampire became aware of the silence that clung to the room. Eyes closing, he sighed, sensing Kat was waiting for his explanation. "I…never meant to hurt her," he responded softly, keeping his eyes on the floor as he spoke, refusing to look up at the protective woman who stood before him. "I just…I can't face her." He paused, waiting for Kat to make some comment. When she remained silent however he continued, his words spilling forth in an anguished rasp as he closed his eyes. "She trusts me. After all I've done to them, to her, she still trusts me. I see it every time I look in her eyes, or see her smile. She trusts me…just like my sister did all those years ago."
Raising his head, he opened his eyes, laying his soul bare before the other woman. "Don't you understand!" he shouted, "I look at her, and I see my sister all over again! I see her reaching out to me, trusting me completely. Never once would it enter her mind that her big brother would hurt her, or that he'd kill her, Mother, and Father. Drain them dry. Not her big brother…never his kind friend Willow." Dark, bitter eyes locked onto shocked emerald ones, Angel continued, his voice straining with emotion. "I can't take it kitten. I can't accept the forgiveness in her eyes. It's like having my sister forgive me for killing her."
Kat stared openly at the vampire who bared his soul to her, her mouth parted in surprise. 'My god, he sees Willow as the little sister he killed.' The depth of anguish in his eyes as he looked at the brunette had her holding her breath in dazed wonderment; reeling from the guilt he carried so close to his heart. As his eyes slowly slid off hers back to the ground, she let out her breath in one hiss of air.
'He's really torn up over this,' she realized, watching the tremor that shook his shoulders as he let his guilt overwhelm him. 'Damn but I don't want to feel bad for him.' But she couldn't help herself, because she knew how guilt, whether deserved or no, could eat a person alive inside. Chewing on her lower lip, a nervous trait she unconsciously picked up from her petite hacker friend, Kat pondered what to do next.
'I could just leave him, tell Willow why he is avoiding her.' But that idea didn't sit when with the brunette. Willow was bound to rush over to console Angel, and in the state he was in seeing her would only compound the problem, good intentions aside. Grimly Kat came to only one conclusion, but it was even less appealing to her. 'It's the only thing that would work though,' she mused, slowing lowering the crossbow. Setting it down on the floor, the brunette steeled herself mentally and cautiously took a step forward. When the morose vampire didn't move or raise his head she moved closer, stopping a few inches away from him. As she cocked her head to the side, a wave of sympathy for the dark-haired vampire rose inside her, to be squashed by grim determination.
'This has to be done,' she told herself, seeing him begin to stir out of his dark brooding. As he began to lift his head she raised her arm.
He didn't see her hand until it was too late.
* * * * * * * * * *
CRACK! The speed of the slap had Angel stumbling backwards in shock. Covering his already throbbing cheek with one hand the dumbfounded vampire gaped at Kat as she glared at him, eyes conveying a look of disgust and anger.
"You fucking coward!" The hurt look that crossed the vampire's features as she cursed him made the werecat feel lower than dirt. She hated to do this, hated to add physical pain to the mental anguish he was already suffering, but he needed this shock. Much like slapping a hysterical woman in order to stop her from screaming, shock could help someone in the bowels of despair crawl back out of the shadows. And so Kat kept her face from revealing any of her sympathies as she leaned forward, jabbing one dainty finger into the vampire's t-shirt clad chest. Hard. Shaking her dark head at the confounded vampire Kat ranted, getting right into his face.
"So you're afraid to be forgiven is that it? You've been around what two and a half centuries now? You've seen all the atrocities this world has to offer and you choose the forgiveness of one tiny girl to be afraid of? Man, that's just stupid. You're acting like forgiveness is a reward to be granted. It's not. Forgiveness is something given freely not because someone deserves it, but because they need it."
If the slap hadn't shocked Angel, the hellcat's ranting sure did. He didn't want to hear her words, because they made more sense than he cared to admit. Still, her voice had him spellbound: he had no choice but to listen, wide-eyed as she continued. "Look, I know you feel bad about all the things you've done, and that's good. That's what separates you from the monsters. But you're blowing it out of proportion here. Your grief and guilt are keeping you from doing anything that might make you feel better."
Kat wasn't finished talking, but some of the anger had drained out of her voice. Taking Angel's arm, she gently but firmly dragged him to the sofa, pushing him down to sit before taking a seat opposite him. When she continued her voice was more subdued, but no less compelling. "If you can't think of forgiveness as anything but something to be earned, then go out and earn it. You'll never get anywhere sitting here in the dark, that's for sure. Do you know that, despite not having any sort of super powers, Willow and Xander patrol the park and cemeteries every night? How are you going to feel if one or both of them die out there when you could've saved them, if only you'd been fighting beside them instead of sitting here brooding about a past you cant change?"
The last sentence made Angel's head jerk up, dark orbs meeting Kat's serious emerald ones. He hadn't known the kids had taken over patrols. He hadn't even been able to bring himself to lurk in the shadows, watching the group as he had done in the past, since he'd been back. Knowing she'd gotten through to the vampire Kat decided to push just a little more, to make sure Angel would stop acting like an idiot.
"Go out there and make an effort Angel," knowing her use of his name would make sure he paid attention. Her lips curved into a slight smile, which she offered him as she continued. "I think you'll find it's worth the trouble. You don't have to suffer alone and in silence. You've got friends, and I know Willow would be beyond thrilled to have you around. And if you had nothing in this world but that little redhead's friendship, you'd be the luckiest creature in existence, and that's a fact. Think about it."
Rising up from her seat, Kat gave Angel one last look before heading for the door, pausing only to pick up her crossbow. A little embarrassed at the length and depth of her lecture, the brunette was too lost in thought to hear the whispered 'thank you kitten' that trailed after her.
Minutes ticked away, and still Angel remained sitting in the living room, staring into space as Kat's words echoed in his mind. 'She's right,' he admitted to himself, shaking his head to clear it of the paralyzing effect her rant had on him. 'I can't hide from my problems, I need to face them.' His lips twisted as he thought about how right the hellcat had been, only to flinch slightly as his cheek reminded him just how she had gotten her point across. Gingerly he touched his cheek, stroking it as he thought about what to do next.
'Wait a minute…didn't she say they went patrolling at night?' Glancing up at the clock over his mantle, Angel noted that the sun had set nearly an hour ago. They would probably be heading out the cemetery as soon as the hellcat caught up with them. Standing up, the dark-haired vampire went in search of his favorite black jacket. 'Can't let them have all the fun,' he thought as he headed for the front door.
Just as he was leaving the mansion, an errant thought wormed its way into his head. This time his cheek didn't throb as much as his lips turned upward, forming a slight smile as he contemplated this new curiosity.
'I wonder how good the kitten is with her claws.'