Harry Potter's New Bride - Alternate ending.

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A/N: Thanks to my wonderful Beta, LtsHrIt4ThBoyz.

For my friend for her birthday.

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Same story until…

"Happy Birthday, mon coeur, ma chere, chere femme. Je t'aime."

Snape, waiting with Dumbledore at the top of the rotating and uplifting steps coming out of the chamber, was not expected or wanted right now. Harry had cake waiting, and snogging plans!

"Potter! What have you done?"

Harry pulled out the shrunken head. "I gave my girl the first of her birthday presents. Ask Dumbledore about the prophecy if you want further knowledge."

"YOU? A duffer? A complete waste of breath and space?" The potions professor spat.

"Love you too Snape. I thought that you had to be nice to me at school, or you'd be fired. Not literally set aflame. What do they call it here? Oh yeah. Sacked."

"I like that idea. Put him in a bag. Can we drown him then?" Wednesday asked. "Is this my next present?"

Harry used the sword to split his sleeve, accidentally nicking the arm, blood dripped to the wet bathroom floor.

"Nope. Dang, I didn't think this through. You know my guardians' rules. The Dark Mark is gone! Now I can never kill him!

"I'm so disappointed in you, Harry." Dumbledore intoned.

"I know. I'm disappointed in myself, too. I should have killed him as the first present. You wouldn't happen to have a time-turner would you? Quick!"

His look of grandfatherly sorrow had Harry asking further questions.

"Why are you upset? Because I didn't die? I forced you to tell me the prophecy. Are you mad it wasn't Neville? What? I gave him a choice! Ask anyone. He planned to go around killing muggles. Well, guess what, Albus my old man? That would have led to our destruction. Ask Snape. Ask anyone with a muggle relative. The no-maj are dangerous, and outnumber us. If you'll excuse me? I have other places to be."

Seeing that there was no reasoning with the boy, Albus stepped aside. But just when the snogging was getting more exciting; his French whisperings working on his future bride, Thing interrupted. The knocking on the door was loud. And getting louder. Thunder, wind and rain. Wait. What? He was cold and…

Suddenly Petunia's voice screamed from somewhere, "Answer that door, freak!" Harry awoke. There was very, very loud knocking at the rickety door. Harry looked down at himself. He was so little! Where was he? Oh yes, the Hut on the Rock in the middle of the sea someone, trying to get away from…

BOOM!

The door crashed open, and the rifle in Vernon's hand was knotted into a pretzel.

"Sorry about that!" The man picked up the door and fixed it with a tap from his pink umbrella.

It was Hagrid from Hogwarts! But how did Harry know him? Harry didn't know what was going on, but he did know that after today, he'd be on a flight tomorrow for America to be reunited with his real family.

"Well, it's been some time, but it's sure nice to see ya again, Harry! I'm Hagrid! Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys at Hogwarts. You know all about Hogwarts, of course. I'm here to help you get yer supplies and get ready for school."

The next day, Harry was crushed. He exchanged some of his money for no-maj coins and called the very familiar number.

"Reynolds residence."

"Excuse me. But I'm looking for the Addams Family. Gomez and Morticia are the parents." Harry verified that he called the right number.

"Son, I know everyone in Martha's Vineyard. There are no Addamses here. Now there was, about fifty years ago. I'm really sorry. I don't know where they moved."

An old woman came up to the phone, dark eyes still pure obsidian.

"Harry? Harry Potter?"

"Wednesday? What happened?"

"I'm a Seer. I sent you a dream to warn you. To help you. I apologize for the…closeness that we shared. Some of my longing intermingled there, I'm afraid. I am very happy to be here for you as an adult. To help you solve this Dark Lord problem.

"The only girls my age that I remember from my dream are Hermione and Luna."

"Yes. Two very nice girls. Do you remember from your dream that you have two Houses? So…"

"Wait! What about Sirius! Is he in that Azkabibble place still? He claims he never had a trial!"

"No, we'll catch the rat on the train, and use it to get him out. You'll be reunited with your godfather."

"Hey, Wednesday, for what it's worth, I'm sorry it was just a dream. You're a great girl. Mon amie."

She put a hand over his mouth. "No, my friend, save it for your future ladies. And remember. No kissing until you're sixteen."

"Snape's alive and has a dark mark!" Harry remembered suddenly.

The obsidian eyes gleamed. "One step at a time. Let's get some allies, free your godfather. Oh, and this time, we need to make friends with Neville Longbottom. He's very good with all sorts of poisonous plants. And will be happy to be your friend; he needs one. Talk him into sorting Hufflepuff on the train; the Head of House is the Herbology Professor." She faux whispered. "Unless you want Gryffindor."

"Gryffindor? I wonder what would happen then."

Wednesday took out her wand, and tapped his head, "Sleep, dream, and you will See."

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The End

ƺ parseltongue