Chapter 4 – Winter Wonderland
3:23 pm, 24th December 2198
There was no need to react when they came to their stop. When they arrived in Hiratsuka Central Station, they were simply carried by the torrent of the moving crowd wanting to disembark here. Hari tried to swim against the indomitable current, but his efforts had no effect and he was inevitably separated from his snow-white friend, engulfed in a tsunami of people. His breathing increased in panic, and as soon as he was able to, he fought his way through the crowd, shouting at the top of his voice.
"Ruri? Ruri! Where are you?" He shoved his way onward. "Excuse me, can I get through please? Ruri, where are you? Are you okay? Ruri?"
"I'm here Hari, there's no need to be so noisy," said Ruri, who had somehow emerged beside him, seemingly none the worse off from her struggles. Hari sighed in relief, then took her hand and carefully pulled her out of the swarm.
"Are you all right? I got worried when I lost sight of you."
"I'm fine Hari. Honestly, it's just like you to get so worked-up over nothing," she rebuked him. "I guess it's now time for us to get to work."
"Right!" Hari swung his backpack down onto the pavement and pulled out his sleek laptop. "I've got navigation software on this thing, so just give me a street name and I'll find it," he said.
Ruri checked the scrap of paper, on which she'd jotted down Erina's address. "We're looking for the Blossom Building on Lime Avenue."
"Lime Avenue," Hari murmured, typing it in. "Here, got it! It's twenty-one streets thataway!" he said shoving a finger eastwards.
Ruri looked down at the screen over his shoulder. "We should try and find a bus route. A taxi would cost too much and take just as long with all this holiday traffic."
"We could. Or…" Hari tapped a few more keys. "If you're up for it we could walk. There's a short-cut which goes right through the city's central park. Shouldn't take us to walk it and it might be kinda nice with the snow and everything." He looked up to Ruri for her opinion.
To his astonishment, something lit up in Ruri's eyes when he spoke and she clasped her hands together in front of her in sudden eagerness, staring at him imploringly. "That's a much better idea Hari! Can we do that?"
"Er…sure," Hari said taken aback by this upbeat reaction. "Probably the best way in any case. No jams and it won't cost a yen." Quickly recovering his composure, he slammed his laptop shut. "Okay, let's get moving before we freeze!"
"Yes!" Ruri replied and together they headed off.
It took them ten perilous minutes of crossing roads before they made it to the entrance of Hiratsuka Central Park. The colossal grassy patch they walked onto was swathed with messy snow, trampled by other people. A few people walking their dogs could be seen strolling along the park's paths and in the distance, on the slope of a small white knoll, several small children were sledging, shrieking in delight as they rushed down the hill and beyond to end up in a pile of snow and laughter. Their parents watched, faces torn between happiness and apprehension as they watched their offspring put their bones on the line.
"They look like they're having fun," he noted. Ruri nodded to concur.
Thought the sound of children laughing was heartening, Hari knew that his friend would prefer a more peaceful surrounding and so he took her along a more secluded path leading through a wooded area. Gradually, the screams behind them died away, until they were drowned out by the whistling of the winter wind in the bare branches above.
As they wandered amid the naked trees, Ruri gingerly took his arm and linked it with her own, only explaining herself with a mysterious smirk. This uncharacteristic display of affection sent shivers down Hari's spine.
"Wow. Walking like this makes us look like a couple!"
He let himself enjoy the fantasy for a moment longer before shaking it from his mind.
"Damn it Hari, don't get carried away. You might embarrass her if you assume too much,"
Trying to bring his mind back to the real world, he turned his focus to the path they were walking on. Tall trees surrounded them, leaves long since replaced by plentiful snow in their upper boughs. Holly bushes with blood red berries gave the scenery colour, as did the sporadic pine trees which retained their precious needles in defiance of the season. A solitary robin, breast as red as a wound, twittered cheerfully from atop a sapling as it watched them walk through this winter wonderland. Snow and seclusion had changed the landscape around them so much that it seemed as though they were walking on the surface of some fantastic faraway planet which knew nothing of civilisation and its stresses, only the constant peace and harmony of nature left to its own devices. The illusion was delightfully engrossing and Hari felt a pang of regret when the distant children's shouts woke him from it.
But Ruri was still on his arm and that was no illusion. The setting could barely be any more romantic, and here he was with the girl of his dreams, possessively clinging onto him like he was some treasured toy. It had to make him think.
"She wouldn't do that if she didn't like me right? But how much does she like me?"
Would he ever have the courage to find out?
The juvenile voices became louder as they walked further along the path, but these were different ones to those sledding on the hill.
"I wonder what all that commotion is." Ruri murmured quizzically.
"Don't know, let's find out," he said. When they came to a fork in the path, they took the one which lead towards the source of the noise. Within a minute, the trees gave way to open space. A clear land of snow lay beyond and in the near distance, a large frozen lake could be seen. Several skaters glided erratically around it, like bubbles in a boiling pot and created the noise which had attracted them.
"So that what it is," Ruri said.
"Uh-huh. Shall we take a closer look?"
"Okay."
They started towards the lake. When the path faded into the field of snow, Ruri detached herself from him. His arm immediately felt lonely without hers to accompany it, but then a sudden idea occurred to him and restored his high spirits. He checked his watch. They had plenty of time to spare, and what was wrong with a little fun on Christmas Eve?
"Hey Ruri, let's go skate on the lake!" he suggested excitedly.
Ruri paled noticeably as she stared at him, which was no mean feat with her white complexion. "Ice-skating? I don't think so, I've never done it before."
"Don't worry, I'll teach you. Come on, it'll be fun!"
He didn't give her a chance to back out. Grabbing her hand, he tugged her unwillingly to the lake. Her reluctance was obvious, but Hari was determined to get her out there on the ice. She was bound to enjoy it when she got going!
They rented the skates from a tent by the lakeside, pulled them on and waddled over to the ice. Hari launched himself first, gliding a graceful circle before coming to a halt to face Ruri.
"Come on Ruri, come out here! The ice is great!"
Ruri bit her lip anxiously. "I'm not sure about this Hari."
"There's nothing to worry about. Just give it a try."
Ruri took a deep breath, then stepped out onto the ice. Right away she began to wobble and waved her arms around frantically, until she fell over backwards onto the ice with a painful crunch.
"Woah! Are you okay?" Hari asked in alarm, sliding to her side.
Cringing and clutching her hurt elbow, Ruri rolled over with a moan. "It's nothing serious, just a bruise," she replied through gritted teeth. By the side a few onlookers were tittering affably at her, amused by her fall. She flushed and scowled up at Hari, clearly blaming him for making her do this only to humiliate herself. "Let's pack it in," she stated blandly. "This is stupid."
"No, come on Ruri," Hari implored her as he helped her up again. "Don't quit yet. Give me a chance to show you how it's done."
Ruri huffed and folded her arms petulantly. "Fine,"
"Great. Okay, let's work on your technique," He offered her his arm to help her steady herself. She sluggishly shoved herself off the supporting fence and took it, reluctance emanating from her every feature. Hari refused to be discouraged, but he knew that the memory of this as a lovely afternoon, not to mention Ruri's good mood, was at stake here.
"Right, let's do the basics. The trick to keeping upright is to keep your feet
pointing outwards," He gestured at his own feet to show her. Ruri shifted her feet to imitate his, but in doing so fell forward onto her knees with a cry, dragging Hari down with her. Together they struck ice. Hari fell on top of her, but fortunately he broke his fall with hands, so sparing her any further pain. He chuckled as he righted first himself, then his friend. "Sorry, that was my bad! Should have kept my balance!"
Ruri wasn't sharing the funny side. "Hari…" she pleaded, her golden eyes shining desperately.
"Every beginner falls a few times, Ruri," he reassured her. "Don't let it discourage you. Try again, this time holding the fence."
"Very well," Her mittened hand gripped the railing like it was a cliff edge. Once again she gingerly adjusted herself into the position Hari had described. Hari observed her, adding in hints where they were needed.
"That's right! Now lean forward a bit and bend your legs a little more…there! Hold that position, that's it!"
"Like this?"
"Yeah, you've got it!" Hari shouted. "Now let's try it without the railing."
Ruri stared at him dubiously for a second, but in the end decided to trust him. Hesitantly, she removed her hand from the fence, keeping it hovering within reach for a few seconds before taking a breath and taking it away completely. She tottered a little, but kept herself upright this time.
"That's it. You're doing great Ruri! Now we'll skate around the perimeter. Take it slowly at first and concentrate on keeping your balance." Even to himself, Hari sounded like a proper tutor.
Cautiously and with constant fear in her eyes, Ruri complied, skating with slow, deliberate motions. Hari stayed by her side, encouraging her and correcting her flaws as they went. Slowly but surely, they completed four circuits of the lake, with Ruri becoming more confident with each one. On the first one, she fell over several times, but then on the second, she only went down twice. But on the third and fourth, she managed to stay on her feet the whole way around, skating with admirable competence for such little experience. Hari applauded her on her progress.
"See? You're doing it!"
"I…am doing it!" Ruri breathed, true glee in her voice even as her eyes remained focused on the ice ahead. "Gosh, I never thought I would be able to!"
"You were bound to get it eventually Ruri. You didn't give up and now you're skating like a pro! Well done!" Hari said, triumphantly patting her on the shoulder. "So do you think you're ready for something more challenging now?"
"I think it's your turn for a challenge now," said Ruri. "So try and catch me!" With a charming laugh, she put on a burst of speed to break away from him, her silken hair whipping out behind her like a cape. Hari gasped and set off in delighted pursuit.
"You can't escape me Ruri! I taught you everything you know!"
She laughed again, weaving through the skaters as she made her getaway. Hot on her trail, he followed her, face red in exhilaration and fully sure that he wouldn't trade anything in the world for this moment of his life.
* * *
They ended up having so much fun that they lost all track of time. They skated together for a whole hour and by the time they came off the lake the sky had turned dark and the evening cold was beginning to set in. Ruri had made pleasing progress and was skating very adeptly by the end of the session. They'd played tag together, raced each other (Hari had won them all expect for the last one when a little kid had been in his way) and for the last ten minutes, Hari's highlight of the afternoon, they had just skated slowly together, side-by-side, hand in hand. Ruri had enjoyed the whole thing thoroughly and had even been reluctant to leave at the end. Hari had had to persuade her, reminding her that they had a job to do and promisingly to take her out again on Boxing Day. They'd both been red-faced and exhausted when they'd left the lake.
Now, the pair were taking a breather, not to mention a well-needed sugar fix, before they would move on to find Erina's apartment. They sat side by side on a little bench overlooking the lake, watching the skaters while drinking hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows. The hot beverage produced an interesting dilemma, Hari noted. He could drink it and be warm inside, but in the cup it was defrosting his deadened hands. In the end, he settled for drinking it. Couldn't argue with the sugar.
Next to him, Ruri blew on her own cup. He gave her a nudge. "Admit it, you had fun after all!"
"Yes," Ruri nodded fervently. "It was wonderful. However, I've picked up more injuries in the last hour than I did throughout the whole Lizards War."
She'd delivered the line with a straight face, making Hari laugh out loud. She had a knack with those dry remarks. In unison they took a slug of drink, then leaned back and sighed contently. "It's started to snow again," Ruri commented, holding out her free hand to catch some snowflakes. A few settled on her pale palm and melted in its warmth. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
"Yeah," Hari breathed, in awe of the pretty girl surrounded by the magical falling flakes. He felt her shiver beside him as the cold suddenly penetrated her. Instinctively he put his arm around her and pulled her closer, inviting her to share in his body heat. She accepted, shifting over closer and leaning her head on his shoulder. Its weight felt wonderful to him and he accepted it gratefully. Together they stared out over the wondrous lake.
"Have you thought anymore on the meaning of Christmas, Hari?" she asked, without moving her head.
"Well, a little I guess."
"And?" she pressed him.
"Well, I…" He scratched his cheek to buy some thinking time. "God, what does she want me to say?" With eyes narrow in thought, he looked out over the icy lake in search of inspiration. Strangely enough, he found it.
"Um, is it…this?" he said, gesturing at the scene before them with his free hand. He could think of no way to capture the warm feelings and beauty before him in a sentence. A magnificent Christmas tree dominated over the icy lake, on which both children and lovers skated, laughing, dancing, playing, chasing one another, racing too and fro and having the most wonderful time together. Falling snow danced around them on a background of a majestic purple sky. It seemed as good an advert for Christmas as there could be and it was impossible not to glow inside looking at it.
Ruri smiled a little, sharing in his fondness of the view. "You're getting closer," she said.
"But still not quite there," Hari murmured to himself. "Still can't figure out what she's looking for. Guess I'll have to think on it some more."
As he contemplated the problem and Ruri stared out over the lake from his shoulder, the silence grew long. Ruri broke it with another query. "Hari, may I ask you a question?"
"Another one?" Hari laughed. "Sheesh, it's like I'm on a game show here!"
"I'm sorry Hari. It's okay, forget I spoke," she replied, backing down despondently.
"No, no, please go ahead Ruri. I was only kidding, ask away."
Ruri looked down at the steaming cup in her hands, tracing her thumb on the outside of the ring. "It's something that's been bothering me. It's just that you're so passionate about everything and so animated with your feelings. I on the other hand, am impassive, robotic and dull. And yet we're still friends. I suppose what I don't understand," she said, taking a pause to find words, "is how one as full of life as you can find pleasure in spending company with one as bland as me."
Hari could barely find words to express his incredulity. She was apologising for spending time with him?! How ridiculous was that?!
"What are you talking about Ruri?" he blurted in disbelief. "You're not bland! You're smart, caring and fun to be with. I really like spending time with you," he placed a reassuring hand on her knee. "Really, I promise I do,"
"I'm really glad to hear that," she said. "I love being with you as well," She turned her head to him, smiling delightfully, her eyes closed and small mouth upturned. Hari returned her smile, thankful that he'd been able to cheer her up.
"Thank you so much for today, Hari. I cannot remember the last time I had this much fun. Thank you,"
And then, incredibly, she leaned in and gave him a tender little peck on the cheek. The touch of her soft white lips against his skin turned it to flame and his stunned mind to mush. He stared at her incredulously, one hand straying up to his blessed cheek. She just smirked back at him as if what she'd done had been no big deal. They were near to each other now – any closer and she would have been in his arms.
"Now's the time! Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her! Damn it Hari, just do it!"
He couldn't. He couldn't put their friendship, not to mention her dignity, on the line so recklessly. She was too precious for him to lose her completely. So he kept his mouth in a dopy grin, knowing that he would hate himself later on.
"We should get going," Ruri said eventually. Did he imagine the disappointment in her voice? He certainly couldn't keep it out of his own.
"Yeah, it's already late. Let's move," Reluctantly he stood up, his skin screaming in protest as he broke body contact with Ruri. As they walked side-by-side towards the park's exit, she had reverted into the girl who was his friend and nothing more. Back to square one, as if this romantic outing through the park counted for nothing.
"Nice work, you bumbling idiot! She gave you a golden opportunity and you totally blew it!"
All he could hope for was another chance to come around, and then there was no way he was going to let it pass by. For now though, they had a job to do and it was high time they knuckled down and did it.
* * *
Erina was scared.
It was early evening now and the six hour mark had been and gone. For the first time Erina was having doubts. Could she really bring herself to draw her own blood tonight? She wondered is she had been fooling herself when she'd thought of taking to the knife. Would her courage fail her when the decisive moment came? Did she really have the mettle to spill her own lifeblood? But equally terrifying was the thought of waking up tomorrow to face another day of emotional agony. And another, and another…oh, the pain would go on forever.
Darkness had already fallen outside, but rather than switch the lights on, Erina had lit every one of her candles, which were scattered around her living room. They came in all shapes and sizes, all colours and curvatures. Squat ones standing by themselves at the low points in the room, slender pink ones elegantly stretching for the ceiling, tiny white circular ones bunched together like a herd, thick Christmassy ones of red and gold with holly at their bases, tacky novelty ones shaped like oranges and lemons and many other ones. Together they lit the room dimly, but they had a latent function too – many of them contained incense and their combined aromas fused together to make a nauseating smell which dulled her mind and helped to blunt her doubts. With her mind swimming as it was, suicide suddenly seemed much less daunting.
The knife on the table beckoned her enticingly. "Pick me up," it said. "Take me, cut with me. Then all your sorrow and pain will be over and those sins and woes that haunt you will be lost in the past."
Be damned with the original plan. The blade was offering too much. She wouldn't resist it any longer. The time to end everything was now. With rickety bone-like fingers she reached for it, dizzy with anticipation of the emotional release she sought.
A knocking came at the door, the instant she touched the hilt. Erina froze. Crazily, she wondered if this was Death coming for her. Rationality took over and she knew that someone of flesh and blood on the door. Who on earth was it and what the hell did they want with a suicidal secretary?
The knocking came again and she began to panic. Now what should she do? If she cut herself now, there was the chance these intruders would find her and fetch her medical help. She knew she didn't have the strength to fail in this and come back the world as someone who couldn't even take her own life properly. But if she didn't act now and she talked to someone, she would lose all this courage that it had taken so long to build up and she would live through the agony all over again. It was a harsh dilemma which ended in indecision. She simply sat there with the quivering knife held dangerously over her wrists.
"Miss Won, are you here?" She gasped as the door opened revealing two equally surprised children. The scrawny dark-haired boy and the pasty white girl wore the same horrified gape of realisation as they saw her holding the blade.
"Oh my God,"
That did it. Without further hesitation Erina slashed at her wrists.