I came home. I told Sylvia, Margaritas nanny to go home. I looked around
the house. I saw a picture of Craig. I remembered him. I felt him in the
room. After he died I realized there was a reason for Margarita. She taught
me to grow up. But more importantly she's the last living Manning. She is
part of Craig. I looked at Margarita and realized how much she reminded me
of Craig. Suddenly I had a flashback.
It was almost a year ago. Margarita was only one. Joey called my house. His
exact words were ' Manny. Craig has been shot. He got into a fight with
Sean. If you want you and your family can come to our house. I think you
have to see this.' Then he hung up. He was crying. It turned out Sean
wanted to ask me out and Craig told him that he still loved me and that we
were a family. They got into a fight; Sean brought out a gun and shot
Craig. Shot him to his death. Well if being the fucked up pregnant teen
wasn't enough. Now I was on the brink of suicide. Everyday I thought about
it. But then I thought about Margarita. She'd be an orphan.
I also remember my help group for young parents. For a year that was my
school. At night Craig came. I remember he was the only father there who
seemed to love his child. I remember there was this one guy who kept on
referring hid son to the thing. Like it was a monster. Once Craig told him
that he was disgusted with him. He was half of this amazing human being and
treating it like an inanimate object. He told this total stranger how much
he loved Margarita and me. He thought I didn't hear but I did. I thought
after that Craig would be the guy I was to marry. We'd live happily ever
and have Margarita and a brother for her as proof as our love. I think I'm
crying. I wish Craig were here. Why? Why couldn't I have stayed the
innocent Manny? I doubt I'd even been kissed by now.