Thanks to the wonderful reviewers!
Bud looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook his head. "I've already said too much, Ma'am." He put his hand on the doorknob, but she remained leaning against it. Her expression shifted slowly to one of resignation.
"Fine, Bud. You have to do what you think is best."
He looked at her seriously. "Yes, I do."
She stood away from the door and crossed her arms. "I admit I'm hurt."
"You're hurt?"
"We used to be like the three musketeers, Bud. We always knew what was happening with each other. Now…" she shrugged, covering a rush of sadness that surprised her, one that she couldn't quite explain.
"That's true, Ma'am. But things change. People change."
"I suppose the 'mystery woman' knows all about it, though."
"'Mystery woman'?"
"Oh, please. The one he's been making so much time for on weekends. You know, the one that calls all the time-" she stopped as he exhaled a humorless laugh. "What?"
"Yeah, I'm sure she knows all about it." He looked exasperated, and a little sad. "She is her, Ma'am. No need to be jealous of a fourteen year-old. –oh, wait. You wouldn't be jealous anyway…" his sarcasm stung, and this time the hurt showed in her eyes.
"That was below the belt."
"Sorry." He shook his head, seemed surprised at his own anger. "Things certainly do change."
"And we're no longer friends?"
He sighed. "Permission to speak free-"
"For the love of- Bud, if you haven't been speaking freely already, then I'm in more trouble than I thought." Her frustrated expression fell into his thoughtful stare. "Bud?"
Bud stared at the desk for a long moment before his eyes rose to meet hers once more. "I can't pretend I've ever completely understood the relationship you two have. Or try to have. Or try not to have. But I know this: when Harm blew off the Admiral, quit his job-"
"I never asked him to-"
He held up a hand, and that, along with his expression, stopped her. "-quit his job, broke God knows how many laws, just to get you out of there – well. There was no doubt in my mind that he felt more than friendly toward you. Nothing he did was your fault, but…"
She blinked at him, shook her head. "I don't deny any of that."
Bud's head dropped to one side. "Then why didn't you even thank him?"
She stared. "Of course I thanked him." Her expression became a frown. "Didn't I? Come on, I didn't gush, but I must have actually said 'thank you'…"
Bud exhaled heavily. "Maybe you were too busy letting him know how things were going to be." He paused, wondering how much he should admit Harm told him over wine that evening after dinner at their house, while Harriet put the kids down for the night. Frankly, he wasn't sure, given the Commander's state of mind that night, that he would even remember it all. It was as if Harm had been talking to himself, and Bud happened to be there.
"Oh…" Mac turned away, back again. "But he must realize – I mean – I would have done the same…"
She felt herself wavering as Bud shook his head. "I don't know what he knows, Ma'am." His hand reached for the door once more. "But I don't see any real friendship here. It's more like family you're forced to be around, but don't even really like." Pausing, he added, "And I've got to say, Colonel, if we're not the 'three musketeers' anymore, it's because you decided you don't want to play anymore."
"Bud –" He shook his head as he left the office, leaving Mac standing alone. Feeling very alone indeed. Her eyes were watering now, and she closed the blinds before moving to sit behind her desk. She reached for the phone, wanting to talk to someone. There was a moment when she almost dialed Clay's number, but she returned the receiver to its cradle with an exasperated noise. Shutting out the rest of the world, she rested her head on crossed arms for a few minutes.
After a while she lifted her head, took a tissue from the box on her desk and blew her nose. Another tissue, her eyes dried, she looked at the computer. Nodding, she began typing a search. Family court. Judge Alberti. She jotted some notes down and tried another direction. Legal guardianship. Living parent, abandoned child. Ramifications. Mac quietly thanked God for the efficiency of military legal search engines, took a deep breath, and continued to make notes.
"Damn, Harm. This isn't going to be easy no matter what he's done." She stared at the screen for some time, doing her best to stay in lawyer mode, reading carefully. Sitting back, she stared thoughtfully at the desk, the ceiling, the wall, looking for inspiration. Her eyes brightened with a little aha, and she picked up the phone, dialed an outside line. "Hello, Chaplain Turner? This is Sarah Mackenzie, from JAG… yes. Good, thank you, and you? No, no, he's fine. Listen, Chaplain… can we talk for a minute?"
JAG Headquarters
Commander Harmon Rabb's Office
1930
Mac walked up to the office door, which was closed tightly. The blinds were drawn, and it appeared that the lights were out. She frowned. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out her cell phone, dialed his extension. She gave an affectionate little smile as he picked up, his voice weary.
"Rabb."
"Hey."
There was a pause. "Mac?"
"Yeah. You're working late, flyboy." She almost bit her tongue, but the nickname was already out.
"Not really." The silence dropped back into place, and she took a deep breath.
"Can I come in?"
Another pause, where she could actually picture the frown. She heard him get up from his desk, walk to the door. "Where are you." He opened the door as he asked, and they looked at each other, phones still at their ears. He almost smiled, and spoke into the phone. "Hey, I've got someone here. I'll talk to you later."
"Okay. Bye."
"Bye." They hung up and continued to look at each other. "You could have just knocked."
"And you could have not answered."
"Right." He motioned for her to come in, and returned to where he sat slumped at the desk. She almost turned on the lights, but decided the dim light filtering in from the bullpen might be better.
"How did it go?"
He sighed, looked at her. "Bud usually keeps a secret better than that."
"He didn't have much choice. I provoked him."
Harm's eyebrows raised. "You provoked Bud?"
"Yeah." She clearly didn't want to talk about that. "This is important to you." It was a statement, not a question.
"Yeah." He didn't seem inclined to elaborate, and she nodded.
"Okay. Then it's important."
He seemed surprised by her attitude, and a little guarded. "You think so?"
Mac sighed. "It's what friends do, Harm." She extended her hand, waited, and he reached out and gave it a squeeze.
"Thanks, Mac." He released her and slumped back in his chair. "Although at this point, I'm not sure what's going to happen."
"What happened with Alberti?"
He looked pained for a moment. "She checked my records."
"You have an exemplary military record…" Mac hesitated, thinking.
"Right. The amount of travel bothered her, but what really seemed to get her was the letter from Annie that's in there."
Mac's jaw dropped, her eyes wide. "Annie complained? Officially?"
"Yeah. Well, not so much an official complaint as … well, I don't know. All I know is that there's a letter from her in my files, stating that I not only took her son on an outing without her express permission, by doing so I put him in direct personal danger. I suppose you'd call it an unofficial opinion."
"Wow. That could be a problem… but her mental state could certainly be an arguing point."
He waved his hand. "I don't want to hurt her any more than I have. Hell, I don't want to even talk with her again." His hands moved restlessly to a pen on his desk, toying with it absently. "I don't know what's going to happen."
"But Harm, the judge must have seen that you're squeaky clean on the important things-"
"She said, and I quote; 'We can't play the law of averages here'."
Mac nodded. "Everything I read about her says she's tough. But she's supposed to be fair." There was a longish, quiet pause.
"'Everything you read'?"
"Yeah. You don't think I'd be here this late for nothing, do you?"
He shook his head and exhaled a little laugh. "I should have known." The quiet settled back in for a stay, as their thoughts unraveled. Mac sighed.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid you wouldn't support the idea. Or that you'd think I was trying to replace you somehow… one relationship with another."
"Replace me with a fourteen year-old girl?"
"Yeah. A real spitfire with an absent mother and an alcoholic father."
"Oh." A pause. "Were you?"
He chuckled. "No. Although you influenced me. I know you came from a similar background, and have turned out so successful, so amazingly… well. I know how much you credit your uncle for being there, taking an interest, supporting you. I guess I felt like maybe I could be that for her." He tapped the pen a few times, then dropped it and rubbed his face with his hands. "I would have liked that."
"You're not giving up, are you?"
"I don't want to, but I don't see how…and how will I tell-" the phone rang and he picked it up. "Rabb. Oh, hi, Mattie… yeah, I talked to her. Well…" he looked up at Mac, his eyes shining sadly. She felt her heart go out to him, and even more so, to this girl she didn't even know.
Her whisper was clear in the dim room. "Tell her it's going to be tough, but we're not done fighting yet."
"Hang on, Mattie." Harm covered the receiver. "Mac, I don't want to get her hopes up."
"Her hopes are already up, I'm sure of that. We just have to figure out how to make it work."
Harm gaped. "We?"
She exhaled and looked into his eyes, her own shining with emotion. "Hey. We're the dream team, remember? If it can happen, we'll figure out how."
He stared at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
"Thank you."
She nodded. "It's what friends do." Turning, she walked out and went back to her office, determined to make a few more calls before she went home.