Once more with feeling…
I had to get this posted before the show airs… I don't know what they're going to do, but I knew what I was going to do. My deep thanks to all the wonderful readers and reviewers.
And now, a final chapter.
DEAL
Outside Courtroom B
1305
Mac let the courtroom door close quietly behind her and took a shuddery breath as she opened her phone without looking at the number. "Mackenzie."
"Good afternoon, Sarah." Mac was so off balance that it took a moment for her to recognize the voice. She took another deep breath and exhaled slowly.
"Hi, Clay."
"You alright?"
"Yeah, I'm- I'm fine."
"Yes, you certainly sound it."
"A rough judge morning, that's all. It's good to hear a friendly voice."
"And I'm always glad to be one for you."
Mac felt herself relax a little. Clay was unabashedly sweet to her in their recent conversations – when he was home and was working on anything he could actually talk about. Sometimes it felt like 'sweet' was all he had left for conversations, since he couldn't talk about anything he did or most of what he thought.
For a moment she sighed, wishing she felt the same kind of spark inside when she was with Clay that she did – she frowned, looking toward the courtroom. Where did that come from? Her brief respite from the tension ended as she felt her mind pouring over the issues once more. There was a shuffling pause before Webb spoke again.
"So how goes the great Rabb custody battle?" His voice had a taint of sarcasm that set her teeth on edge, although she tried to ignore it.
"How did you – oh, of course. Look who I'm asking."
"Yes, well. He should be at the hearing about now, if my sources are correct."
She frowned at the floor, suddenly unwilling to talk about it. "Well, you know your sources usually are." Her delivery must have been a little sharper than he expected, because he came back sounding surprised.
"Hey, he didn't sucker you into his little nightmare, did he?"
"What do you mean, nightmare?"
"Sarah, come on. You know as well as I do that no judge in their right mind is going to give a hotshot like him custody of a child."
"I know no such thing." Her tone became icy. "He's a good man, Clay. You know that."
"Sarah…" some logical counter in her brain, probably near her internal clock, noticed that he managed to sound exasperated at least half the time he used her given name. Harm knew better than to call her that when he was annoyed. In fact, the only times Harm called her Sarah it felt like, well…like he really was trying to say something else. Mac, on the other hand, he could yell at in court and still get away with it. I wonder if he does it on purpose, or just knows instinctively when to call me - Mac shook her head, wondering why her brain was tangenting so wildly when what she needed was to concentrate on some kind of solution to the problem at hand. She frowned at herself, trying to pull her mind back into the conversation on the phone.
"Sorry, Clay. We clearly don't agree."
"I don't believe we're as far off as you think. He is a good man, Sarah. I just don't see why he'd be given custody of an unrelated child – any more than I would. Or you, for that matter." She vaguely heard the shuffling of papers in the background again. "We travel too much, we have too much going on, no real backup."
Perhaps, if he was seeing her face, he might have stopped.
"I mean, seriously. It would be nice to have children, I suppose, but how can you justify being a part-time parent? Shuffling the kids off to babysitters while you're CAD on the Seahawk, or the Henry, or even Iraq? It doesn't make any sense."
"… nice to have children?"
"Well, yes. Sometime." Something in his distracted spook mentality registered the flat tone of her voice. "Sarah?"
Mac stared at the window in the hall in front of her. The sky was turquoise blue, although storm clouds on the horizon gave clear warning that there would be snow for the holidays. Strangely, she thought about Christmas for a minute, wondered if she'd get to see Chloe. But in her mind's eye she saw Mattie, dropped into some foster home for the holidays. As fiercely independent as the girl was, Mac could easily imagine her running away if she felt she couldn't take it anymore. If she felt that alone in the world, that abandoned by everyone…
Mac sighed.
Just like she had.
"Sarah?"
Startled back to the phone, Mac looked back towards the courtroom. "Clay, I have to go."
"Sarah, look, I'm sorry if-"
"Don't worry about it, Clay. I have to go."
"But Sarah – ", he stopped, cut his losses. "Will you be able to have dinner on Friday?"
There was a distracted pause. "I'll call. Bye, Clay."
A sad little silence, and then, "Goodbye, Sarah."
She slapped the phone shut and pulled the courtroom door open. Sitting down didn't feel right, so she hovered in back, waiting for the judge to reappear. While she paced, her eyes were drawn to where Harm sat, his left arm still around Mattie. His thumb rubbed against her shoulder as he whispered in her ear, and then he pulled her into a one-armed hug and smiled. Mac felt her eyes watering again when he leaned over and dropped a kiss on top of the girl's head. When she saw the smile fall away as he held her, his eyes squeezed shut.
Oh, Harm… It's not fair. A deal's a deal…
And suddenly it was obvious.
She was walking down the aisle when Judge Alberti reappeared. With a strange confidence, Mac stopped and addressed the bench. "Your Honor. May I have a word with my client?"
Yes. This was right. It was so clear to her now.
The judge looked at her, askance.
"And you are?"
"Colonel Sarah Mackenzie."
Alberti sighed. "Another JAG?"
"Yes, your Honor."
She flipped through the files on the bench and nodded. "Your letter of recommendation has been duly noted. Is there something pertaining to this hearing that Commander Rabb needs to know at this moment?"
"Commander Rabb is not my client. Miss Johnson is." Harm and Mattie both looked up, Harm covering his surprise better. Come on, work with me. The strength of her stance and the calmness in her voice made it impossible to argue.
"This isn't a trial."
"No, but certainly everyone is entitled to the advice of counsel. Especially a fourteen year old girl."
"I see."
"I just need a moment." Mac and the Judge stared at each other. Harm, who had seen Mac at work for years, couldn't understand where she was headed, or why she was pushing her luck this way. Still, he couldn't deny that she clearly had something in mind, and he found himself hoping against hope that she had come up with a plan. As he watched the two women staring at each other, an alternate image sprang to mind – two Amazon warriors, sizing each other up; each quite powerful but not using their strength until they knew it was necessary. The power almost crackled between them. His eyes widened.
"Harm?" Mattie's whisper broke the spell. "What's she doing?"
"I don't know, Mattie. She must have an idea."
The judge gave way, curious. "Go ahead, but quickly."
"Thank you." Mac turned to Harm and Mattie, crooked her finger at the girl and walked to the back of the courtroom. Mattie looked at Harm, shrugged, and followed.
Harm felt helpless. Mac, I hope you know what you're doing. His nervousness, however, faded into the background as he watched them. First, the Colonel whispered a long explanation, followed by some kind of question. Mattie frowned at her, looked back at Harm, asked a question in return. He saw Mac take a deep breath and answer. Mattie looked at her for a few seconds, then nodded.
It was fascinating to him. They not only seemed to be communicating well – and Harm could tell from Mac's demeanor that she was rushing through something important – it looked like they were almost getting along. After what was only about two minutes, Mac stuck out her hand and Mattie shook it solemnly. They walked back to the front of the courtroom and Mattie sat down with Harm.
"What was that?" Mattie waved her hand at him as she stared at Mac and the Judge, with a move that looked amazingly like something a lawyer of his acquaintance might do.
The Judge looked down at Mac suspiciously. "Well? I assume you have something to say, Miss Mackenzie?"
"Colonel Mackenzie, ma'am. And yes, I do."
The Judge almost smirked, as if a point had been conceded. "What is it, then?"
Mac stepped forward, blossoming into full lawyer mode.
Here we go.
"Your Honor, it's clear that you have concerns about Commander Rabb taking custody of my client. At this moment, having heard your comments, I'm inclined to agree with you."
The judge pursed her lips thoughtfully while Mattie put her hand on Harm's suddenly clenched fist.
"Are you."
"Yes, ma'am." She stepped slowly along the front of the room, speaking thoughtfully in her most reasonable voice. "I believe we all have one thing in common. We all want what is best for Mattie. With that in mind, I'd like to suggest an alternate plan."
What are you doing, Mac? Harm wanted desperately for her to make eye contact, so that he felt like he had a clue – but she continued on in her best style. He hadn't seen her look so smooth in ages, and it worried him that he might be on the receiving end of … no. She wouldn't do anything to hurt me. He tried to lean into the trust, but his gut was wrenched.
"I agree that this court wants what is best for Miss Johnson. And you are correct in assuming that while I find Commander Rabb to be of stellar character, there are too many downsides for him to become the sole parental figure in her life."
There. It was out. Harm felt like a knife had gone through his chest.
"Yes, your Honor. And you're certainly aware of the runaway rate when trying to place adolescents in foster care. Not to mention the associated problems of drugs and alcohol use in young people who are unhappy, or feel they have no control over their lives."
"Yes, I'm aware." The judge was watching Mac like a cat watches a bird through a window. "Your point?"
"Your Honor, I feel that any child benefits from being in a place where they know they are loved and wanted. I believe your concerns with the Commander – and please correct me if I'm wrong – are as follows: a time consuming job which can require spur-of-the-moment travel, and a lack of any local family to fill the gaps."
"A concise description."
"With that in mind, I propose that the Commander and I file for joint custody of Miss Johnson."
"Joint custody?" The judge and Harm said it simultaneously.
"Yes."
"Colonel, I don't think of joint custody as merely a designated sitter when the Commander is away."
"Nor do I, ma'am. If you read my letter, you know that my interest in Mattie has been influenced by my own teen years. I believe that as an adult who has survived the experience, I will be able help her through, not to mention giving her a strong female presence." The judge nodded thoughtfully.
"Go on."
"I propose that her primary residence would be with the Commander, while I would have Mattie at least one night a week, and every other weekend."
"Well, aren't we just placing her in a broken home, then?"
"No, not really. The Commander and I have been close friends for many years, work in the same office, and often socialize together. It's very likely that Mattie will see as much of both of us as any teenager is willing to put up with."
The judge's dark eyes glittered as she looked from Mac's unworldly calm to Harm's frozen expression. Her eyes narrowed as she speared Mac with a look. "Is this a romantic relationship?"
Mac blinked once, stared back at her, and said, a bit quietly, "I don't think so, ma'am." Harm and Mattie couldn't see the little eyebrow shrug that the judge saw. The one that said but who knows?
"Out of curiosity, Colonel, if there is a disagreement about what is best for the child, as often happens even with natural parents… who would have the last word?"
Thinking for a moment, Mac finally looked over at Harm, and made eye contact. "I think we can work out most things, ma'am." She saw the determination in the clear aquamarine blue and smiled. "We'll both come out on top if it's the best thing for Mattie."
Harm blinked at her, his eyebrows raising slightly. Wait…what did she say? But she had turned back to the judge.
"I know that all this is somewhat unusual, your Honor, so I suggest that Mattie is placed with us, under these terms, as her foster parents for a year. After that time the court can see how we're doing and make a permanent appointment."
The sureness of the statement was not lost on the judge, and a wry smile crossed her lips.
"Colonel, I like your style. And believe it or not, I do want the girl to be happy as well as healthy. This court will recommend approval of this plan as stated." She looked over her glasses. "Get the paper to me by tomorrow afternoon. There will be the standard child services interviews, but I will encourage them to get this in place as soon as possible." She grinned to Mac as she glanced over at Harm. "I think your client may be a flight risk if we leave her with anyone else." Standing, the judge spoke to Mattie. "Young lady. Do you understand what we're trying to do here?"
Mattie stood up happily. "Yes, your Honor."
"You'll make them look good? No getting in trouble or running off?"
"No, ma'am."
"Good. If you ever have trouble with them, you know where to find me. This hearing is over." The judge walked out, and Mattie gave Harm a bear hug before coming around the table. She stopped a few steps from Mac and tilted her head.
"You know, I really didn't want to like you."
"I know."
"But I think we might get along." The girl nearly flinched at how sappy she sounded, but shrugged. "Someday, anyway."
"I hope so Mattie."
They smiled at each other for a long moment before Mattie regained some of her usual tough exterior. "At least, you know... for his sake." The girl jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Harm, who was still sitting in a state of shock. Mac laughed and nodded.
"Right. For his sake, anyway."
Bud, who was sitting halfway back in the courtroom with his jaw still hanging, shook his head and stood up. Looking at Harm's expression, he called to the newest member of the team. "Hey, Mattie. How about we get something to drink from the machines down the hall. I'm sure they've got legal matters to discuss." Mattie looked at Harm and Mac and grinned.
"Is that okay?"
Harm blinked once or twice. "Yes, Mattie. And thank you for checking." The girl dashed off, chattering to Bud excitedly. Mac walked slowly over to Harm, and for the first time since she walked back into the courtroom, felt a pang of insecurity. The crystal clarity of the last half hour had vanished, and she couldn't quite remember what had gotten into her. Although she was glad it did. She thought.
"Hey. You alright?"
His eyes focused on her and he shook his head. "Mac, you didn't have to do this. I mean – this is huge. You didn't have to –"
"Harm." There was something in her expression, more than her voice, that made him stop babbling.
"Yes?"
"She looked searchingly into his eyes for a long moment. "We already had this discussion."
"We did?" He frowned, confused. "When?"
Mac took a deep breath. "A deal's a deal, Harm. Remember?"
He looked at her with confusion. She nodded slightly, leading.
"We said that in five years, if we were both still single…" His eyes grew wide.
"…we'd have a child together."
"Right. I didn't think you'd forget." Mac smiled a little nervously. "This would probably not be the best time to tell me you think it's a bad idea, because although labor was tough, it's a girl, and she's happy, and healthy, and I'd like her to stay that way."
Harm shook his head and walked over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I think it's a wonderful idea, Sarah. And I think you're amazing. Thank you."
Harm pulled her gently to him and they stood together in the now empty courtroom locked in a hug, his chin resting lightly on her head. He exhaled a breath that he felt he had been holding for at least two weeks.
"Best deal I ever made."
okay, so maybe there's an epilogue…