A/N: Wow. Eight reviews, and really fast! How exciting! Oh, by the way... dillon mentioned that black pudding is congealed pigs blood. Well, although I think that's just SICK, Jack's an odd lad. He can like black pudding. Another quick note: If you've seen Benny & Joon, Jack's hair looks like Sam's.
Everyone in the world has at least one pet peeve. For some, it's when people driving in traffic don't put on their blinker, but turn the corner anyway. For others, it's when people chew with their mouth open. Jack Sparrow had two, on this occasion: Snobs, and nosies (as he liked to call the busybodies of the day). This Swann lass happened to be a very extreme ammount of both, which nearly drove poor Jack to tear out his hair and scream. However, rather than ruin hair so lovely as his, getting rid of the problem seemed like a much better solution.
Which is why he was now pointing his trusty silver pistol at the girl's face.
"Wait," she exclaimed suddenly, throwing her tremoring hands up in the air. "You can't shoot me! I don't even know you're name!"
Jack lowered his gun, took a step back, and stared at her. What kind of mental fool... he thought. would try something as stupid as that? But as he continued to stare at her, the look on her face only grew more and more serious. The bleeding of Jack's heart began.
"Oh... damn you." he muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose with one hand and re-pocketing the pistol with the other.
"...What...?" she asked. Her eyes were still large with fright, although she had lowered her hands.
"Well, I can't possibly shoot you now!" Jack shouted, glaring. "I was in perfect shooting stance, I was all aimed up, and now, because of you and your stupid you-ness, I've lost my focus!"
She stared at him, as though he were slightly deranged (which happened to be what she was thinking at that moment). "Er..." she said. "...couldn't you shoot me anyway?"
Jack felt his frustration intensify at this so-called "obvious" solution. "No!" he replied, marching towards her and grabbing her shoulders, shaking her violently between each word. "That's. The. Thing. I. Can't. Without. Focus. And. You've. Gone. And. Obliterated. Mine. Savvy?"
"Oh..."
"Bloody woman,"
She folded her arms and glared at him, "Well excuse me," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "I didn't know it was against the law to plea for my life."
He cocked an eyebrow, amazed at her stupidity. "It's not exactly smart to get cute with an attacker," he said.
She raised an eyebrow as well, clearly mocking him, looked around the alley. "I'm sorry,", she said, in a tone of faux innocence. "but I don't seem to see an attacker anywhere."
That was the last straw. Jack could handle her annoying superiority complex, her determination to get her way, but her insolence was another story entirely. He hated insolence even more than he hated stuffy rich people, nosies, and left-handed scissors (which he always seemed to purchase on accident). No woman was going to give Captain Jack Sparrow that attitude.
Sighing dramatically, he turned and pinched her jugular vein, bringing about her unconciousness and allowing him to lift her over his shoulder and carry her back to his flat. He told passersby that she was his rather ill cousin.
Meanwhile, Thomas Swann had just realized his daughter was missing, and was a complete blabbering mess. All the newscrews were alerting TV viewers of Elizabeth's sudden absence, and the police had just arrived.
Sergeant James Norrington climbed out of his squad car, a grim look on his face. Following him, with more than resignation, was Norrington's secretary-cum-assistant, William Turner. Will was a young, muscular lad with quite a bit going for him in the looks department (far more than his boss had, anyway). He carried with him a spiral-notebook and a pale blue gel-pen, ready to take notes whenever Norrington spoke... which wasn't really that often. Jamesie wasn't the wordiets bloke around.
"Mr. Swann," said Norrington, his deep voice silencing most of the people around. "you called to report a missing person...?"
"Missing person?" said Will, fascinated. "Really? How interesting. What's this character's name, then?"
"It's my daughter, Elizabeth," Thomas replied, staring straight ahead in some strange state of shock.
At this, Norrington and Will both bowed their heads, as though giving their respects to the dead. You see, both men were slightly infatuated with Miss Swann... And had she been there to see that, she would revel in the fact.
After their brief pause, Norrington spoke up again: "We'll do our best to find her, Mr. Swann. Now, where and when was she last seen?"
Will began to scribble feverishly as people reported the last time they had seen Elizabeth. Needless to say, this was the most important case he had ever worked on.
Jack reached his flat with immense gratitude, throwing open the door and dropping Lizzie on the bed with a groan. The looks he was getting from people, not to mention the constant fear that she would regain consciousness, had been eating away at his nerves, and he was very happy to be home for a change.
He turned back to the front door and shut it, fixing the seventeen padlocks down the side of the door so that no one could ever get in. After finding a bottle of vodka and the remote control, he turned on the telly, entertaining himself with cartoons. Every few minutes, however, he would glance at the girl on his bed, her body only moving when she inhaled and exhaled, and sigh.
I wonder what made me bring her home, he thought to himself. I wonder what stopped me from shooting her on the street when I first realized she was stalking me.
If he had been watching Channel 13 News, he wouldn't have been worrying about the possibility he was weakening. He would have been worried about what he was going to do to escape the kidnapping charge that was looming over him without his knowing it.
Flamingo Feathers: Hey, thanks! I hope you continue reading!
dillon: Thanks for telling me about the black pudding... You see, I'm not even near being European, have absolutely no clue about food in the UK except fish and chips, and I really didn't want to come off as some sort of stereotype-writing-person. Thanks for reviewing!
...: Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this as well!
ScannerCatScat: Thanks! And here was the introduction of Will -- and Norrington!
rythmteck: FF.net wasn't showing all my reviews, so this wasn't in the original post of chapter 3... Anyway. I'm glad you liked Jack! He's really fun to write... And thanks for reviewing! *laughs evilly once again*
WCSPegasus: Yeah... ff.net was being beasty and wasn't showing all my reviews, so I really didn't know that you reviewed! Anyway, thank you. I just love kind reviews!