Greetings, Dragonfly, Konzen, Farflung, Kitsune, and Karri. See what you have done!? Remember that Pippin urged Merry not to talk to Treebeard? "You'll only encourage him!" cried Pippin. Well, you've gone and encouraged me. See if you can stop me now!
Elladan and Elrohir had been watching with delight as Glorfindel's class had been thrown into chaos by the target fastened to the elf-lord's bottom. Even Anomen had smiled a few times, although he could not shake the nagging feeling that this prank was outside the pale. Ai! His fears proved to be prescient! All three elflings stared, horrified, as an arrow bloomed in the balrog-slayers's backside. They took to their heels and did not stop until they reached the stable, where they huddled in an empty stall.
"May the Valar protect us!" Elladan whispered fervently. "Glorfindel will send us to the Halls of Mandos for this!"
"If Mandos will have us," said Elrohir gloomily, "which I doubt. Where do you suppose Orcs go after death?" he added.
The three elflings looked at each other in dismay. Elladan was trembling. "I-I-I wonder if we could become Dwarves," he stammered.
"We're not stout enough," said Anomen miserably.
"We could pad ourselves," said Elladan hopefully.
Elrohir shook his head. "We'd grow too tall. And," he added sadly, "we have no beards and will never have them."
"Maybe we can ask Mithrandir to cast a spell upon us to make us hairy," Elladan suggested.
Anomen shuddered. Then his face lit up. "I have a better idea. We are the same height as the young of humans, and we will grow to be as tall as their warriors. It is true that we will have no beards, but it is the custom of some Men to scrape the hair from their faces."
"Doesn't that hurt?" asked Elladan.
"I don't know," replied Anomen shortly. "Besides, it doesn't matter—we're not going to be the ones scraping off facial hair. We merely need to blend in with Men who do."
"Oh, of course," said Elladan, embarrassed, "but what about our ears? Humans have plain ears."
"That can be easily managed," said Anomen confidently. "We must take out our braids and let our hair cover his ears. Oh, no," he wailed, suddenly remembering the haircut Elladan and Elrohir had given him. "I haven't got any hair to cover my ears!"
"Truly all our pranks have gone awry," cried Elladan. "What shall we do?"
"Well," said Elrohir thoughtfully, "Anomen didn't want to have anything to do with our latest prank in the first place. He really shouldn't have to run away. So it doesn't matter about his hair, really."
"Oh, no," said Anomen loyally. "In the end I did go along with your plan, and in the eyes of Elrond and Glorfindel, I will be just as responsible as you are. Never mind my hair. It will grow as we travel, for we must journey far beyond Dunland before we dare try to join a settlement of Men. Dunlendings do not scrape their faces. Also, Dunland is too near to Imladris. Elves pass through frequently on their way to the Gap of Rohan."
"Where shall we go, then?" asked Elladan. "Rohan itself?"
"No," said Elrohir. "There is much commerce between the Rohirrim and the Elves."
"Where then!?"
"Gondor," declared Elrohir.
"Gondor! So far to the south? That is leagues away! And what," shuddered Elladan, "if we should encounter Southrons?"
That gave the elflings pause. Every step that took them toward Gondor would also be taking them toward Harad. It was long before any of them spoke. At last Anomen broke the silence.
"There are Men to the west I have heard. Wait!" Inspiration suddenly struck him. "There are not only Men to the west. To the west lies the land of the Periannath!"
Elladan and Elrohir stared at him.
"Ye-es," said Elrohir, "and you are thinking—what?"
"Let us masquerade as Periannath," Anomen said excitedly. They have pointed ears and grow no beards—I have heard Mithrandir say so."
"But," objected Elladan, "I have also heard Mithrandir say that they have hairy feet and are even shorter than Dwarves."
"We could keep our boots on," suggested Anomen.
"What about our height?" asked a skeptical Elrohir.
"Walk stooped over?"
Elladan and Elrohir both shook their heads. "No," said Elrohir, "we had best pretend to be human. I deem that disguise will cause the fewest complications. Besides, Mithrandir would discover us if we fled to the land of the Periannath. The study of that folk is his particular hobby. Only with the Elves does he spend more time."
"Then," said Anomen. "The only question to be answered is whether we should go west or south."
"I vote west," said Elladan. "I do not wish to draw near to Harad!"
"Yes," agreed Anomen. "I think it would be better to go west."
"Very well," said Elrohir. "West it will be. Now we had better make haste and gather provisions. I am sure that it will not be too long before our presence will be requested in Ada's chamber! Indeed, one of had better serve as scout and keep apprised of Glorfindel's whereabouts. Anomen, skulking is your specialty. Will you do the honors?"
"Skulking!?" objected Anomen.
"Oh, very well, then! Reconnoitering if you insist! But will you concede that you are the best at it?"
"At reconnoitering, yes. You and Elladan will pack for me?"
"Aye. Now let us go across the garden and up the trellis. It wouldn't do to go in the front door, would it!?"
The three were soon in their chamber. Elladan and Elrohir set about hastily packing whatever they thought might be needful for the three of them. For his part, Anomen cracked open the door and looked out cautiously. No one was in sight. He slipped out and made his stealthy way toward Elrond's chamber. As he approached, he heard the raised voice of an indignant Glorfindel. The door was ajar, and he peeked through the space between door and frame.
"Elrond, for this they must be punished severely—severely!"
"Aye, Glorfindel," said Elrond soothingly. "But you must hold still long enough for me to extract that arrow."
Glorfindel was pacing up and down. He would pause from time to time. When he did so, Elrond would approach him, but each time, just as Elrond drew near, Glorfindel would whirl about and begin pacing anew.
"Glorfindel!" Elrond at last cried in frustration. "Please stand still long enough for me to remove that arrow!"
Glorfindel sighed and stopped his pacing. "Very well. This is going to be painful isn't it? Well, I console myself that later it will be painful for those elflings!"
"Painful, oh, yes, it will be painful. Wait a minute." Elrond looked around the room for some object. He did not see what he needed. "No matter," he said. "This will do," he added, unbuckling his belt.
Anomen did not wait to see any more. As quickly as possible he returned to the chamber he shared with the twins. "Elladan! Elrohir! Your father is taking off his belt!"
The twins stared at each other, petrified.
"Ai!" wailed Elladan. "Ada has told us that Men whip their offspring! Ai!"
"Here!" cried Elrohir, thrusting Anomen's pack at him, "gather your weapons and let us go!"
In a trice the three elflings had scrambled down the trellis and were sprinting through the garden. Meanwhile, back in Elrond's chamber, the Lord of Rivendell had handed his belt to Glorfindel.
"Here, my friend, you may bite down upon this as I examine and treat your injury".
"Thank you, Elrond," said Glorfindel. He positioned the strap in his mouth and winced as Elrond began to probe the wound.
"It will not be too difficult to draw this forth. Ready?"
"Mmph."
"Good. One, two, three."
"MMMPH!"
"Now for a bit of salve. There, that should do it. You will not be riding for several days, I am afraid. As to the matter of the punishment of Anomen and the twins, should I summon them at once or would you prefer to wash and dine first?"
Glorfindel's temper had improved somewhat with removal of the projectile. He sighed, "In truth, Elrond, the matter will keep. I wish not only to wash and dine, but to sleep as well. In the morning, when I have rested and have all my faculties about me, no doubt I will be able to propose a suitable punishment for those three."
"Very well, mellon-nîn. Until tomorrow."
"Aye, until tomorrow."