TWO TURTLEDOVES
December 27
The morning staff meeting found Tucker and Mayweather snickering at the adventure Reed and Sato had experienced the previous day with Ensign Partridge.
Captain Archer was putting his utmost effort into keeping a straight face as he asked the cool Vulcan to explain, "...so this sudden need for pollen exchange was set off when Lieutenant Reed inserted his, uh--"
"Probes, sir," said T'Pol.
Her Vulcan detachment merely served to make Tucker cough in order to suppress a chuckle. The engineer and helmsman were further amused when they saw Sato flash a speculative glance toward Reed--or rather, a certain part of Reed.
The Lieutenant missed the appraisal of his assets because he was already blushing and closing his eyes. Then Sato realized Tucker and Mayweather had seen her quick assessment of Reed and also turned red. Tucker and Mayweather could hardly contain their delight.
T'Pol continued her explanation. "Yes, I believe the insertion of Mr. Reed's probes were sufficient to set off a sexual cycle in the trees that is normally produced when the snake burrows. The snake sheds its skin in response to the change of seasons, then tunnels vertically near the roots. The probes served as a very strong stimulus."
The Vulcan stopped abruptly as she noticed the expressions on the humans around her. She quirked an eyebrow thinking she would describe the meeting to Phlox. Perhaps the Doctor could enlighten her on their behavior. She was somewhat relieved when Archer ended the meeting.
As the officers left, Tucker couldn't keep himself from patting Reed on the back to say, "Real impressive, Malcolm. Real impressive."
"Probe envy, Commander?" asked Sato.
Reed flashed her a smile of gratitude. Why hadn't he thought of that comeback?
Tucker sputtered for a bit, then the Captain interrupted by saying, "Lieutenant, I think Ensign Partridge needs to spend some time in weapons training."
Archer noticed Reed had visibly blanched. He looked as if he had been handed a death sentence. "Sir?"
"If he lacks the capacity to keep from shooting himself on a mission, I think he needs a refresher on handling weapons. Don't you agree?" Archer noticed the sympathetic look Sato was giving to Reed.
"Sir, I'll--I'll get Williams right on it," said Reed. There was no reason he had to oversee training of every crewman. Ensign Sato's weapons training was different. She was senior staff, after all.
-----
Ensign Sato had had a bad day. Not only had her EX-friends caught her sizing up Reed during staff meeting, he had been avoiding her all day long by puttering around the armory. The Universal Translator was not cooperating. And there had been no mail for her--again. It was time for the ultimate indulgence, so the linguist had put on her favorite blue t-shirt and comfortable slacks before emptying her precious candy stash of its contents.
Sato lovingly touched the two pieces of chocolate she carried in her hand. Her mother had sent them via a Vulcan ship that intercepted them in early December. Dove Promises, rich milk chocolate squares with a little message in the foil wrapper. Her mother had been giving them to her for Christmas since she was a child. They would count out the number of Doves in a bag and ration the bounty between them, just the "girls." They even had an established ritual for consuming each piece. They would talk about their dreams for the future as the chocolate slowly melted away in their mouths.
Sato had been selfishly hoarding her sweet stash and had only shared some with her Sato Elves to prevent a mutiny. Sato got a glass of iced tea and sat at a table in the empty mess hall as she anticipated enjoying her treats.
Reed walked into the mess hall carrying a data PADD just as Sato had unwrapped her treasures. He had been avoiding her in the hopes that further embarrassing situations would be prevented, but the passionate look in her eyes made him stop. What could she possibly have on the table that would absorb her attention so intensely? He decided to investigate.
The Doves lay naked with their wrapper spread around them like a blanket, innocent in their sweetness. The depraved Sato licked her lips as she anticipated her tongue caressing a morsel, but before she could ravish the candy, she heard the familiar accent asking, "Feeding an addiction, Ensign?"
"Absolutely, Lieutenant. There's nothing like a Dove chocolate brought to room temperature before melting in your mouth, just pure, unadulterated chocolate," responded Sato in an amazingly whispery, sexy voice.
Reed was enchanted by her voice and her absorption of the chocolate; however, Reed and Sato's expressions soon changed to a grimace when they heard an annoyingly familiar voice.
"Lieutenant Reed! I wanted to thank you for setting up my weapons training schedule! I mean, wow, it was just--"
That's as far as the narrative got before it was interrupted by an unfortunate stumble. Ensign Partridge tripped which sent the double-scoop, chocolate caramel sundae with nuts he had been carrying flying into the air.
Sato watched in horror as the two scoops of ice cream magically popped out of the bowl. One scoop landed on the skin exposed by the V-neck of Sato's t-shirt. Sato stood up with a shriek.
The glistening white orb on Sato's chest brought back all sorts of memories for Reed as he watched it glide slowly inside the shirt. Sato could only hold her arms out beside her in disbelief as the midline of her thorax was frozen. Reed wasn't thinking when he tugged the hem of the shirt out of Sato's waistband so that the ice cream would fall through. Well, it would have worked if she had been a man, but the scoop decided to stubbornly remain nestled between her breasts.
Reed pulled the V of the shirt away from Sato and looked down her shirt to determine the problem. Again acting without thinking, he brushed his hand against her to move the intruder to a hasty exit. The scoop left a trail of vanilla ice cream along Sato's belly before landing on the floor with an exhausted plop between her legs.
In the meantime, the top scoop of ice cream had decided to part ways with its partner and jealously guarded the toppings of chocolate, caramel and pecans. Gravity then decided to make its presence known, so the scoop complied by landing with a splat on the table. The toppings were jettisoned onto the previously unstained Dove Promises.
"AAAAUGH!" was all the linguist could emit.
Reed suddenly realized he was looking down Sato's shirt. Worse, his hand was still tugging at the V-neck. He quickly pressed her shirt against her chest which only served to stick the cotton fabric to her torso.
In the meantime Danny, somehow completely unconnected to his environment, merely chuckled, picked up one of the soiled Doves and said, "Hey, two turtle Doves! Wow. I love chocolate turtles. Thanks, Ensign Sato."
He popped one into his mouth and grinned foolishly. The savage look on Sato's face slowly began to register in his cerebral cortex as she began to gesticulate and say, "Ah, ah, ah.."
"Run!" Reed was shoving the fool out of Savage Sato's view. The Beast had been unleashed and she looked ready to draw blood! Luckily Danny realized his danger and sped away.
In a brilliant tactical maneuver, Reed collected the remaining Dove, swiped the toppings off with the thumb of his right hand, quickly transferred the morsel into his left hand and fired it into the target. He even clamped his hand over her mouth to ensure the proper detonation.
The chocolate explosion soon bombarded Sato's senses and confusion reigned on her facial expression. Sad? Happy? Sad? Happy?
In the meantime Reed licked the topping off of his right thumb since he didn't want to wipe it on his uniform. The look on Sato's face soon changed to something Reed couldn't quite define, but made him feel like a hunk of chocolate about to be devoured.
"Um, sorry, Ensign. I didn't intend to, uh, you know, with your shirt--I mean with my shirt. That is my shirt by the--uh, never mind. How about you run along to your quarters?"
Reed had moved his hand from her mouth. He saw the savage expression come back to Sato's face. "On second thought, how about I escort you to your quarters to ensure the safety of Ensign Partridge?"
"''hank 'ou," said Hoshi as she walked dejectedly by Malcolm's side. The only good thing about the walk back was the last Dove chocolate slowly melting in her mouth. And Malcolm's arm around her shoulder.
Just as they reached her door, Malcolm heard Hoshi emit a low groan. He observed, "All gone?"
Hoshi merely nodded, but clearly said, "Retribution. I demand retribution."
"No phase pistols," commanded Malcolm.
Hoshi merely frowned, sniffed, and entered her quarters never realizing that her shirt front had been plastered to her body the entire walk to her quarters. Of course the Lieutenant had not registered his arm around her the entire time, either, until he walked back to his quarters and noticed his arm felt quite empty.
-----
After a cold shower, Reed was able to fall asleep, but tonight his dreams were disturbed by visions of Hoshi Sato and some very involved procedures for eliminating ice cream. He woke up convinced that vanilla was his favorite flavor.
*****
December 27
The morning staff meeting found Tucker and Mayweather snickering at the adventure Reed and Sato had experienced the previous day with Ensign Partridge.
Captain Archer was putting his utmost effort into keeping a straight face as he asked the cool Vulcan to explain, "...so this sudden need for pollen exchange was set off when Lieutenant Reed inserted his, uh--"
"Probes, sir," said T'Pol.
Her Vulcan detachment merely served to make Tucker cough in order to suppress a chuckle. The engineer and helmsman were further amused when they saw Sato flash a speculative glance toward Reed--or rather, a certain part of Reed.
The Lieutenant missed the appraisal of his assets because he was already blushing and closing his eyes. Then Sato realized Tucker and Mayweather had seen her quick assessment of Reed and also turned red. Tucker and Mayweather could hardly contain their delight.
T'Pol continued her explanation. "Yes, I believe the insertion of Mr. Reed's probes were sufficient to set off a sexual cycle in the trees that is normally produced when the snake burrows. The snake sheds its skin in response to the change of seasons, then tunnels vertically near the roots. The probes served as a very strong stimulus."
The Vulcan stopped abruptly as she noticed the expressions on the humans around her. She quirked an eyebrow thinking she would describe the meeting to Phlox. Perhaps the Doctor could enlighten her on their behavior. She was somewhat relieved when Archer ended the meeting.
As the officers left, Tucker couldn't keep himself from patting Reed on the back to say, "Real impressive, Malcolm. Real impressive."
"Probe envy, Commander?" asked Sato.
Reed flashed her a smile of gratitude. Why hadn't he thought of that comeback?
Tucker sputtered for a bit, then the Captain interrupted by saying, "Lieutenant, I think Ensign Partridge needs to spend some time in weapons training."
Archer noticed Reed had visibly blanched. He looked as if he had been handed a death sentence. "Sir?"
"If he lacks the capacity to keep from shooting himself on a mission, I think he needs a refresher on handling weapons. Don't you agree?" Archer noticed the sympathetic look Sato was giving to Reed.
"Sir, I'll--I'll get Williams right on it," said Reed. There was no reason he had to oversee training of every crewman. Ensign Sato's weapons training was different. She was senior staff, after all.
-----
Ensign Sato had had a bad day. Not only had her EX-friends caught her sizing up Reed during staff meeting, he had been avoiding her all day long by puttering around the armory. The Universal Translator was not cooperating. And there had been no mail for her--again. It was time for the ultimate indulgence, so the linguist had put on her favorite blue t-shirt and comfortable slacks before emptying her precious candy stash of its contents.
Sato lovingly touched the two pieces of chocolate she carried in her hand. Her mother had sent them via a Vulcan ship that intercepted them in early December. Dove Promises, rich milk chocolate squares with a little message in the foil wrapper. Her mother had been giving them to her for Christmas since she was a child. They would count out the number of Doves in a bag and ration the bounty between them, just the "girls." They even had an established ritual for consuming each piece. They would talk about their dreams for the future as the chocolate slowly melted away in their mouths.
Sato had been selfishly hoarding her sweet stash and had only shared some with her Sato Elves to prevent a mutiny. Sato got a glass of iced tea and sat at a table in the empty mess hall as she anticipated enjoying her treats.
Reed walked into the mess hall carrying a data PADD just as Sato had unwrapped her treasures. He had been avoiding her in the hopes that further embarrassing situations would be prevented, but the passionate look in her eyes made him stop. What could she possibly have on the table that would absorb her attention so intensely? He decided to investigate.
The Doves lay naked with their wrapper spread around them like a blanket, innocent in their sweetness. The depraved Sato licked her lips as she anticipated her tongue caressing a morsel, but before she could ravish the candy, she heard the familiar accent asking, "Feeding an addiction, Ensign?"
"Absolutely, Lieutenant. There's nothing like a Dove chocolate brought to room temperature before melting in your mouth, just pure, unadulterated chocolate," responded Sato in an amazingly whispery, sexy voice.
Reed was enchanted by her voice and her absorption of the chocolate; however, Reed and Sato's expressions soon changed to a grimace when they heard an annoyingly familiar voice.
"Lieutenant Reed! I wanted to thank you for setting up my weapons training schedule! I mean, wow, it was just--"
That's as far as the narrative got before it was interrupted by an unfortunate stumble. Ensign Partridge tripped which sent the double-scoop, chocolate caramel sundae with nuts he had been carrying flying into the air.
Sato watched in horror as the two scoops of ice cream magically popped out of the bowl. One scoop landed on the skin exposed by the V-neck of Sato's t-shirt. Sato stood up with a shriek.
The glistening white orb on Sato's chest brought back all sorts of memories for Reed as he watched it glide slowly inside the shirt. Sato could only hold her arms out beside her in disbelief as the midline of her thorax was frozen. Reed wasn't thinking when he tugged the hem of the shirt out of Sato's waistband so that the ice cream would fall through. Well, it would have worked if she had been a man, but the scoop decided to stubbornly remain nestled between her breasts.
Reed pulled the V of the shirt away from Sato and looked down her shirt to determine the problem. Again acting without thinking, he brushed his hand against her to move the intruder to a hasty exit. The scoop left a trail of vanilla ice cream along Sato's belly before landing on the floor with an exhausted plop between her legs.
In the meantime, the top scoop of ice cream had decided to part ways with its partner and jealously guarded the toppings of chocolate, caramel and pecans. Gravity then decided to make its presence known, so the scoop complied by landing with a splat on the table. The toppings were jettisoned onto the previously unstained Dove Promises.
"AAAAUGH!" was all the linguist could emit.
Reed suddenly realized he was looking down Sato's shirt. Worse, his hand was still tugging at the V-neck. He quickly pressed her shirt against her chest which only served to stick the cotton fabric to her torso.
In the meantime Danny, somehow completely unconnected to his environment, merely chuckled, picked up one of the soiled Doves and said, "Hey, two turtle Doves! Wow. I love chocolate turtles. Thanks, Ensign Sato."
He popped one into his mouth and grinned foolishly. The savage look on Sato's face slowly began to register in his cerebral cortex as she began to gesticulate and say, "Ah, ah, ah.."
"Run!" Reed was shoving the fool out of Savage Sato's view. The Beast had been unleashed and she looked ready to draw blood! Luckily Danny realized his danger and sped away.
In a brilliant tactical maneuver, Reed collected the remaining Dove, swiped the toppings off with the thumb of his right hand, quickly transferred the morsel into his left hand and fired it into the target. He even clamped his hand over her mouth to ensure the proper detonation.
The chocolate explosion soon bombarded Sato's senses and confusion reigned on her facial expression. Sad? Happy? Sad? Happy?
In the meantime Reed licked the topping off of his right thumb since he didn't want to wipe it on his uniform. The look on Sato's face soon changed to something Reed couldn't quite define, but made him feel like a hunk of chocolate about to be devoured.
"Um, sorry, Ensign. I didn't intend to, uh, you know, with your shirt--I mean with my shirt. That is my shirt by the--uh, never mind. How about you run along to your quarters?"
Reed had moved his hand from her mouth. He saw the savage expression come back to Sato's face. "On second thought, how about I escort you to your quarters to ensure the safety of Ensign Partridge?"
"''hank 'ou," said Hoshi as she walked dejectedly by Malcolm's side. The only good thing about the walk back was the last Dove chocolate slowly melting in her mouth. And Malcolm's arm around her shoulder.
Just as they reached her door, Malcolm heard Hoshi emit a low groan. He observed, "All gone?"
Hoshi merely nodded, but clearly said, "Retribution. I demand retribution."
"No phase pistols," commanded Malcolm.
Hoshi merely frowned, sniffed, and entered her quarters never realizing that her shirt front had been plastered to her body the entire walk to her quarters. Of course the Lieutenant had not registered his arm around her the entire time, either, until he walked back to his quarters and noticed his arm felt quite empty.
-----
After a cold shower, Reed was able to fall asleep, but tonight his dreams were disturbed by visions of Hoshi Sato and some very involved procedures for eliminating ice cream. He woke up convinced that vanilla was his favorite flavor.
*****