Title: Sweetest Fire Part II - The Art of Healing
Author name: M.R.H.I
Author Email: anitney_fanfics@yahoo.com
Category: Romance/ a tiny-weensy-bitsy angst, bitty seriousness, still very fluffy
Keywords: Harry Draco Lucius' death healing
Rating: R
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Minor Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Seamus/Blaise, Justin/Ginny, Ron/Hermione
Summary: After Draco and Harry gets together and the news spread like wildfire throughout the wizarding world, Lucius is killed by Voldemort. Guilt consumes Draco, and he makes the rash decision by breaking it off with Harry. Hurt but determined, Harry decides to show Draco that there is always a light after a storm.
Author Note: This ficlet is dedicated to my best friend, a strong girl in her sixteen that is still standing firmly after the loss of her father and now is taking care of her mother and sister in her father's stead. This is a very painful loss to her, and even though she will not read this story, because of the main characters' orientation, I really want her to know that I will always be by her side and no matter what happen, she is the best friend that I've had the pleasure of knowing.
This part has taken me quite some time to finish, with all the things I cut out because of their un-important-ness, like the talk Draco has with Dumbledore, or Draco and Ron, or the scene of Harry with Hedwig, but the hardest part to write was the scene in the Astronomy Tower, for Draco to slowly unravel his feelings and thoughts, and of course, the blasted newspapers' article. Took me half an hour. So, how do you like it? I remember one of the reviewer who asked if Dumbledore knows about Harry and Draco when he sent Sirius to fetch them, well, if you didn't pick it up from the story, then yes, Dumbledore did know about them. He knows everything, that man does ;) Anyway, I love Sirius/Remus, hence the last scene.
Just a note, The Colors of Christmas will not be out until after Christmas, since with all the family mushy time I'm forced to take part in, I didn't have any space left to write. I'm really sorry, since the sequence will be much more well-received if it's to be read on Christmas, since with all the Christmas feelings and stuff. Anyway, sorry again. Hope you'll like this part and see you soon!
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The Art of Healing
Draco and Harry smiled as they walked hand in hand around the lake on a November morning, wet from the dew and hazy from the mist rising from the lake. It was getting colder, but with each passing smile and glance the warmth from somewhere near the equator of the Earth shot up to England to their hearts.
It wasn't exactly a best day to take a walk around the lake, but this morning, when Harry woke up in Draco's arm, heat soaked through his body and love spilled from his heart, he had excitedly asked Draco to walk with him.
Draco, being the sleepy and bad tempered person, especially in the morning, that he was, had grudgingly rolled over, wanting to go back to sleep. However, he found it difficult when Harry looked up into his eyes, the timid and hopeful expression asking silently for an answer.
Draco just couldn't resist that blasted, absolutely adorable look on Harry's face.
So here they were now, walking in the morning in their casual clothes with a cloak draped over each other, hand clasping hand as their footsteps matched in rhythm of each other's.
It's been two or so weeks after their confession of love, and Harry couldn't be happier if he wanted. After that embarrassing, not to mention shocking, encounter that graced them in Draco's room with Sirius, Harry and Draco decided not to keep their relationship a secret (yeah, like they could do that when Sirius started screaming on top of his lungs "MY GODSON IS SLEEPING WITH DRACO MALFOY!" when he awoke). Everyone accepted them, basically, and some even came outright and told them that they'd thought this was going to happen, and even more shocking, Ginny was actually betting with some of her friends about when they were going to get together. God, were they that obvious?
But of course, the actual shock didn't come until Dumbledore made a long speech about their relationship at dinner, causing everyone to look at them. It was horribly embarrassing, especially when Ron started screaming until Hermione placed a silent charm on him. Then again, the look on Snape's face was worth it.
Unconsciously Harry leaned closer to Draco, frowning in thoughts. Even though whispers and pointed looks were adverted to them the first few days, everything else was pretty much quiet, and by this he meant the Daily Prophet. Nothing - absolutely nothing about them was mentioned in the weekly papers, and Draco and Harry were very suspicious.
"What are you thinking about?" A soft, amused voice broke through his thoughts as Harry looked up into the silver orbs, his eyes slowly focusing on his lover.
"Nothing," Harry smiled, then paused, seeing the doubtful look on Draco's face. "Actually, I'm just wondering why it's been so... quiet around here."
Draco seemed to understand what Harry was talking about, because he replied, "Yes, I'm thinking the same thing along that line, too. The Daily Prophet must have the news by now, and still the newspapers said nothing about us."
Harry stared up at Draco for a moment, then tipped his head up and pressed his lips to Draco's surprisingly warm ones. A bit bewildered, Draco didn't respond, until Harry pulled away that he gave a soft protest. "What was that for?" Draco asked.
"You, of course," Harry grinned. "I can't help myself."
Draco felt heat coursed through his body at Harry's words, and tried to remain calm. "Harry, breakfast starts in approximately thirty minutes, and I don't think we have time to take care of my problem," Draco scolded gently, a teasing look danced in his eyes.
Harry chuckled, squeezing Draco's hand lightly. "Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way," he said, laughter evident in his voice.
"Is that a challenge, Potter?" An elegant eyebrow rose, and Harry grinned, letting go of Draco's hand and started running back into the castle. Draco stared after the Gryffindor, then shaking his head, he followed.
Hagrid, carrying a large cage, came out of his hut. Seeing them, he smiled. "Ah, da young 'ove."
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Hermione rolled her eyes, watching her best friend glancing over to the Slytherin's table for the seventh time in the last five minutes, smiling like a child with a sweet secret. Her heart melted, though, when she saw the blonde Slytherin returned Harry's looks, every single one of them, and smiled back. If she wasn't sitting here and seeing this with her own eyes, she would never believe it. Who knew Draco Malfoy could be so sweet?
"Ugh, Harry, will you stop making eyes at him?" Ron said in a disgusted voice. "I'm trying to eat here."
Harry turned to Ron, laughing. "Oh Ron, now you know how I feel whenever you and Hermione started one of your romantic sessions."
The couple blushed to the root of their hair. "Harry!" they chorused, and Harry laughed again, then he turned back to Draco, and smiled at him.
It was then that Seamus slipped in and sat down in front of Harry, his face flushed and clothes disheveled. Momentarily later they saw an equally flustered Blaise walking into the Great Hall discreetly, or as discreet as you can get when your shirt is half-way buttoned up and an I just had the greatest night in my whole life look was on your face, and sat down next to Draco.
"Hello, y'all, lovely day, isn't it?" Seamus said cheerfully, and Hermione raised an eyebrow at the attempted southern accent of those American people.
Ron raised his eyes up to the clouded ceiling, and back to Seamus with a hesitant and 'are you out of your mind' look. Only Harry was beaming as he answered, "It's a beautiful day," and looked back at Draco again.
Hermione sighed, setting down her book and turned to Harry sternly. "Harry, if you don't stop with those looks and eat your breakfast, I will put a Misguide Charm on you so you wouldn't be able to find your Draco for a whole week, got that?"
Harry blanched, and nodded quickly as he tried to swallow all of his porridge as fast as he could. He sensed Draco's concern gaze on him, but he couldn't do anything since Hermione was staring at him as if daring him to look up. It was probably the fastest meal he'd ever eaten in his whole life, and as soon as he finished, Harry immediately excused himself and ran out of the Great Hall, knowing that Draco would follow him.
Seamus stared at him with an odd expression. "What's wrong with him?"
"He's been drugged by that blasted Slytherin," Ron muttered, clenching his knife angrily as he saw Draco running after Harry. "Ooooh, I know that sly fox would do something to him..."
"Like having sex at the dawn of the morning?" Seamus asked lightly, ignoring the green color that was rapidly spreading across Ron's face. "That'll sure to blow anyone's mind away." Ron turned purple.
Hermione shook her head exasperatedly. "Honestly, I really need to tell Harry that it's not good to make love in the morning. Now how will he going to concentrate in class? All he's going to do is thinking about Draco throughout the day again."
"Oh god, my poor, poor stomach," Ron looked at his food, then his stomach, mournfully, "I'm sorry I cannot fill you up today."
Hermione slapped Ron across the head. "Really, Ron, and one would think that being his best friend you would at least show some tolerance towards his lover. You do know that they're going to stay together for a really long time, right?"
"I refuse to believe such a thing," Ron said, his normal color slowly returning to his face. "This is just a fling. It will be over as quick as it came."
Hermione smiled at Ron sadly, not sure if she should hex him to reason or feel sorry for his in-denial mind to take in the obvious information.
Seamus finished his breakfast and stood up, glancing over to the Slytherin table meaningfully and walked out. Ron and Hermione watched as Blaise made up some excuse, no doubt was senseless from the looks his fellow Slytherins were giving him, and ran off after the Irish boy.
"Really, what is up with these people today?" Ron said. It was then that he noticed Ginny running out of the Great Hall and Justin from Hufflepuff running after her. He stared. "I did not just see that, please tell me I didn't."
"Oh, Ron!" Hermione rolled her eyes. "Ginny's sixteen now. She can take care of herself."
"But..." Ron spluttered, "he's... a .... Hufflepuff! She could have at least chosen someone better. I will not tolerate this." Standing up, he marched after them. Sighing, Hermione put her book into her bag and took off after Ron.
Sirius, sitting on the staff table, looked down at them with a mischievous idea in his head, and poked Remus on the ribs. Remus turned to him questioningly, stopping his conversation with Professor Flickwit.
Thinking fast, Sirius blurted out the first thing that came to his mind. "Wanna sleep?"
Remus gave him a bemused look. "Sleep?"
Sirius grinned at him sheepishly. "Well, these young kids are rather... inspiring," Sirius said slowly, then looked pleadingly into his lover's eyes. "So, what do you say?"
Remus shook his head impatiently. "Sirius, we have classes to attend to in fifteen minutes, you cannot be irresponsible like this."
"Who cares! Remus, I'm having a serious problem and if you don't help me out, I promise I will make a complete fool out of myself in the classroom and then the students will not respect me anymore."
"If they'd ever respected you to begin with," Remus pointed out helpfully.
Sirius pouted. "Remus, you're so unfair. C'mon, let have a go, please?" Sirius was downright begging now and he didn't care.
Remus shook his head firmly, standing up. "No, Sirius, please, have more self-control now. You're an adult now, be a good example for Harry."
"What? He did it this morning!" Sirius protested, making Remus blushed red at that unwanted news. "Why can't we?"
"I said no, Sirius," Remus said and went out of the Great Hall.
Sulking, Sirius watched his lover walked out, mulling over the misery of it all.
"You know you could catch up with him now and get it on, right?" Sirius was startled to hear Snape's voice right next to his ear.
"What the hell is your problem?" Sirius growled, his hatred snapped perfectly back into place as he looked at Snape.
"Well, I just decided that it would be really humorous if you both get to class late," Snape shrugged. "Besides, it's always fun to see you look like a fool."
Sirius glared, then realized that he didn't care, and went after his lover. "Good bye, Snape, and I hope your students blow up their cauldrons today," Sirius called back to the Potions Master.
Snape muttered dire threats under his breath.
Meanwhile, Dumbledore looked on in amusement while Professor McGonagall shook her head disapprovingly.
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The day passed by very quickly, although Hermione was hysterical when Sirius and Remus didn't get to class on time, thinking that something seriously wrong had happened. Oh, how little she knew....
Harry and Draco sat with each other in classes as usual, more absorbed in each other than the lessons. Ron was still very intolerable, and Hermione was very irritated at their lack of attention to the teacher. Seamus and Blaise couldn't keep their hands off each other, which lost them nearly fifty points from their houses.
They retired to Draco's, now also Harry's, room after dinner, sharing kisses as they did their homework, joking and touching and talking about everything and nothing. They stayed up until late and went to bed, smiling as they fell into blissful sleep in each other arms.
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Warm, soothing rays of sunlight spilled through the window, gently bringing them back to the real world. Harry, as always, was the first to wake up, and as always, he laid there staring up into his lover's sleeping face. Draco looked like an angel, with his blond hair flowing around his face, glinting in the sunlight. Draco always looked beautiful, but Harry found that he could appreciate his beauty better while the blonde sleep. In his sleep, Draco looked vulnerable, with all his guards and defenses down, leaving an angelic face open for him and only him to see. Harry smiled brightly, snuggling closer into the warm embrace of his lover.
Draco stirred from the movement, and slowly he opened his eyes. Immediately his arms tightened themselves around Harry as his eyes looked down for confirmation that his beloved was still here. Draco smiled at Harry. "G'morning, love."
"'Morning Draco," Harry replied, leaning up for a kiss, which was eagerly given. When they pulled away Harry smiled slyly. "Well, someone is feeling enthusiastic today."
Draco pressed his forehead to Harry's, eyes gleaming. "Tease."
Harry gave a tiny chuckle. "C'mon, let's get ready for breakfast," he said.
Neither of them moved.
"Draco," Harry said, sighing. "We really need to get moving if we want to get there in time."
Draco's leg draped over Harry's, turning to side and pressing closer to his lover, enchanted by the blush that crept across the lovely face. "Maybe I don't want to get there in time," Draco said pointedly.
"Draco..." But all his protests were muffled as Draco's mouth descended on him again. Harry moaned softly as Draco's hands lowered themselves onto his bottom, caressing gently. Their tongues entwined, and the last of Harry's reason melted away.
As their kisses became more heated and passionate, Draco abruptly pulled away, a teasing light in his eyes. "Do you still want to go, love?"
Harry's eyes were hazy as they opened, and wordlessly he shook his head.
Laughing quietly, Draco kissed Harry again, murmuring "I thought so" against his lips.
All Harry could think of then as Draco climbed onto him was that he needed to come up with a very good excuse if he didn't want another yelling from Hermione.
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"Harry, do you realize the wrongness in your action? I thought you were better than this. I thought that you weren't like other boys who are constantly horny and demanding sex all the time. I am really disappointed in you, Harry..." Hermione ranted angrily while Ron tried to eat as quickly as he could, ignoring her words. Harry, still very affected after the love making session, gazed dreamily at Draco across the room.
"Harry, are you listening to me?" Hermione snapped, finally realizing that Harry's attention was elsewhere, not for the first time, again.
Harry drifted back to the Gryffindor Table and nodded vaguely. "Yeah, that's a very interesting book, Hermione..."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, finding that she had nothing to say, snapped her lips closed angrily and went back to her breakfast, muttering under her breath about horny teenagers with no self-control at all.
Owls streamed into the Great Hall, sending packages from home and newspapers and letters to their owner. Harry noticed Degel, Draco's owl, swooped down and landed onto his arms, sticking out his leg, which was tied with a letter. A sense of unease filled Harry, and he anxiously watched as Draco opened the letter...
"Oh, Harry!" Hermione gasped next to him, and he turned to her. Wordlessly she handed him the newspaper, and there, on the front page, printed in large, bold letters, were the words: Harry Potter and the Revelation of His Lover. Harry got no further than that, however, when a shout from across the room reached his ears.
"DRACO!" It was Blaise's voice, and dropping the newspaper Harry looked up, catching a glimpse of blond hair before the figure disappeared outside the Great Hall. Murmurs broke throughout the Hall, but Harry paid them no mind, standing up and running after Draco.
"Harry!" Hermione yelled, jumping up, and so did Ron, but Seamus, shockingly, forced them to sit down.
"Sit down, you fools," he said sternly. "Don't go and run after him. He has more important matter to attend to."
Ron opened his mouth to argue, but Hermione quelled him with a look. Something must have happened for Draco to run off like that, and with a grim look at the double doors, Hermione afraid that it won't end happily for both of them.
"Did you just call me a fool, Seamus?" Hermione asked sweetly, hand creeping to her wand.
Seamus gulped.
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Harry found Draco standing staring out into the frozen lake, his robes billowing behind him. It was cold today, the wind biting into his skin and howling angrily, but Harry ignored it all and approached Draco slowly.
"Draco?" he tentatively called out, hesitant to touch his lover.
Draco didn't reply as his cold, emotionless face looked across the water, and it frightened Harry, because Draco hadn't looked like that since they got together. "Draco, talk to me, please," Harry pleaded desperately, touching Draco's cold hand.
Still silence greeted him, and a long moment later Draco handed him a piece of parchment, not looking at him. Frowning with fears and uncertainty, Harry unfolded the letter and read.
Dear Draco,
An unfortunate event has reached our family yesterday night. It grieved me to say that your father passed away in a most unexpected accident. He had left for a meeting with his friends and did not return. I went to search for him and there, lying in our garden, was his body, frozen and dead. Not only this event pained me greatly, but I have heard another altogether not very pleasant news. It seems that you are engaging yourself in a intimate relationship with Harry Potter, the enemy of our family for the past many generations. I truly wish that this is not true, but if it is indeed the case, then I believe that you know the cause of your father's dead, and what actions you must take to make amends.
Love to the Malfoy's only heir,
Narcissa Malfoy
Shakily Harry raised his eyes to Draco, who was now staring at him, his eyes flat, his emotions hidden by the many barriers that Harry thought he had stripped away forever.
"Oh, Draco, I... I..." Harry swallowed and turned away, unable to look into those eyes any longer.
"Do you see the message underneath, Harry?" Draco asked, and Harry's heart gave a twist at the way he said his name. When Harry didn't answer, Draco took the privilege into replying the question himself. "Voldemort killed him, Harry. He killed him because he found out about our relationship. He killed my father because he thought we betrayed him."
"I'm sorry..." Harry whispered tearfully. "I'm so sorry..."
"Why?" The humorless voice rose, rippling bitterly through the cold air like a knife slicing butter. "Why should you be sorry? He's not going to come back no matter how sorry you are." A long silence stretched as if eternity as they looked at each other, one with a cold appearance and the other pleading. "It was all my fault. If I didn't... we didn't... then he wouldn't have died."
Harry stared at Draco, shock and the question filled his eyes. "Draco...?" Draco couldn't be telling him... he wouldn't...
"It's not working, Harry, we're better off without each other."
Harry stood frozen, shocked washed over him as the cold made itself present to his body. No... this is not true... Draco... you can't...
Draco turned away from Harry, and steadily walked back into the castle, leaving Harry there, standing in the screaming wind.
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When Harry stepped inside the portrait hole, he was quickly enveloped in a hug and many excited shouts from the other housemates.
"Oh, Harry! This is such a happy day!" Sirius laughed, spinning his godson around. Hermione and Ron were nearby, smiling and holding each other close.
"Sirius, let Harry down, you're embarrassing him," Remus' gentle voice spoke up, his eyes twinkling brightly.
Still laughing, Sirius let go and stepped back, smiling. "Do you know what day it is?" Without waiting for an answer Sirius said eagerly, like a child with a new broomstick. "Today's your parents' anniversary!"
Harry stared up at Sirius, the words not fully understood in his mind. Eyes blank without emotions, he kept on staring, until Remus noticed his odd behavior and came over. "Harry... you alright?"
Harry turned to Remus, his face impassive.
Then he burst into tears.
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Draco was being glared at.
Everywhere he went, the Ravenclaws looked at him in disapproval, the Hufflepuffs with wide, tearful eyes, asking 'how could you?', and the Gryffindors... well, if it wasn't for his housemates he'd be in the hospital wing by now.
Draco ignored all this looks they were giving him, his face, once again, a cold expression that hid the turmoil he was feeling inside. It has been a day after the break off, and if anyone thought that Draco was cool about this, they were wrong. Really, just because he ate normally, and talked normally, and participated in class normally, and played Quidditch with his friends normally, does not mean he was okay.
No, he was having a big, confusing, ugly yarn ball, all tangled up with many feelings, trampling his insides. The news of his father's death had shocked him greatly, more so than anyone could've ever guessed (save for one, but of course, Draco didn't know that), and now he was having a hard time sorting out what he was feeling.
He loved his father dearly, the man who had taught him how to play Quidditch, and how to write with both his left and right hands. He remembered when he was five years old and having a terrible fever for three days, his father had stayed with him, neglecting his work to read him stories and tell him about dragons that were strong and beautiful. His father always gave him everything he wanted, and had never yelled at him, except once, when he had foolishly entered the maze of the Malfoy Manor and nearly got killed by a sphinx. Lucius was always there to give him suggestions and advices, and now he was no longer here.
Draco supposed he must feel something, but all he could feel was the emptiness in the pit of his stomach that was spreading throughout his body, making him numb and emotionless. It was a horrible blankness, and Draco afraid it wouldn't go away.
To add more to his problems, his mother has to bring up the subject of him being the only heir to the Malfoy family. It meant he has to produce a heir to carry on the family's bloodline. It meant that he would be disowned because of his dishonorable action. It meant that he couldn't be with Harry anymore.
It was all his fault. His father wouldn't be dead if he didn't got together with Harry, or at least being discreet about it. It was all his fault that Voldemort killed his father. Guilt was a terrible feeling, and it was consuming him.
He loved Harry so much. Heck, he would even give his life to Harry if he had to, and it was the uttermost painful thing he'd ever had to do when he said goodbye to Harry that night. He wanted to be with the Gryffindor forever, sharing pains and needs and hardship and happiness with him. He wanted to hold and caress and smile and love and care and whisper words to Harry for the rest of his life.
But he couldn't. The love for Harry and the love for his father and the guilt that was laughing at him mixed together, and they were tearing his reason to shreds.
He didn't know what to do. He was so confused.
He wanted Harry back.
But he also wanted his father to be here.
God, Draco, what the hell do you want, really? You can't have everything you wish for.
And yet he still wanted.
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Hermione was not the only one who noticed the gloomy, dull, lifeless behavior of Harry. Truly, one would be blind to not see pain so clear written on the face of a boy who had lost his lover.
Remus and Sirius tried to cheer him up, but all they did to him was making Harry cry and run away. Ginny tried to talk to him, but Harry ignored her and made up stupid excuses to be away. Seamus tried to make Harry smile, and he went to sleep. Hermione tried to encourage him, but he just waved her off and told her it was fine. And Ron tried to... well, he didn't try to do anything except getting a detention from Snape for purposely 'scarring' Malfoy.
So far, everything seemed very hopeless.
It has been a week since Ron last saw Harry anywhere near Malfoy. He was happy that Harry wasn't with the blasted Slytherin. He was sad that Harry was so depressed. And he was annoyed that Hermione wouldn't talk to him because of the detention.
Ron was confused. He really didn't understand why Harry was so broody. Really, it was just a break off with Malfoy, right? It wasn't like the end of the world or anything. He could always find someone else better for him. It wasn't like Harry was...
Oh. Oh.
Damn.
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Ron found Harry sitting in front of the fireplace, staring at the book in his lap.
He had been staring at the book for thirty minutes.
"Harry?" Ron said softly, sitting down next to Harry, wondering what evil force had driven him to say what he was going to say.
Harry looked up at him, and Ron winced, seeing the lack of lights in those emerald eyes. "Do you want to play chess, Ron? I'll go get..." he made to stand up.
"Harry, I don't want to play chess," Ron said patiently and firmly. "Sit down."
A bit confused, Harry sat.
"Harry, I've been meaning to talk to you," Ron began. "It seems that you are making the worst decision you could ever have made." He sounded disturbingly like Hermione.
"Ron, what are...?"
Ron's look silent Harry. "You obviously... er... have a deep feeling for Malfoy, even though he doesn't deserve it," he added as an afterthought. "So why are you letting him go this easily?"
"Ron, I don't want to, but he's..." Harry said mournfully.
"He's what? Said he wanted to break it off? Said he doesn't care for you?" Ron cut him off. "The Harry I remember doesn't give up this easily. The Harry I remember always pursues after what he wanted, no matter what other people say, so by saying 'but he's this and he's that' doesn't sound very convincing."
Harry was silent for a long time, then he looked up at Ron. "What are you trying to say, Ron? Do you think I should go and try to get him back?"
"No," Ron replied firmly. "What I'm saying is I want to see you happy, and if Malfoy is the reason of your happiness then by all means go and get him, and don't try, Harry, make it happen."
Harry's eyes were filled with a new light and wonderment at the person sitting in front of him.
And for the first time in a week, Harry smiled a genuine smile. "Oh, Ron!" Harry said and, not caring about other people in the common room, threw himself at Ron and hugged him.
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The Astronomy Tower was freezing cold, and Draco should know, standing right there with only his cotton pajama on and nothing else to protect his skin from the wind.
He should be in bed at this moment, falling into beautiful dreams and embracing Harry, but he wasn't, because the beautiful dreams and Harry were gone since last week. Now his nights were haunted with nightmares of his father coming back and telling him how painful his death was. Draco shuddered. He did not want to think about that now.
Tonight's sky was dark with gray clouds, indicating a rain pour that was going to come. Draco leaned onto the windowsill, lost in thoughts and more confusion.
Everything was so perfect. How could things have fallen apart so easily and quickly? It wasn't fair. It really wasn't fair...
Draco closed his eyes, leaning against the stone wall. He missed Harry terribly, and he wanted the Gryffindor with him, but he couldn't. It wasn't meant to be. Kept on clinging to something hopeless was bound to be trouble.
So he let Harry go.
And his heart ached constantly at the thought of Harry, and somehow, he knew Harry was hurt because of him, too. That was one unbearable thought: he was the one who broke Harry's heart.
Oh, but Harry, my heart is breaking, too.
Time passed under the quiet night, and Draco stood there, listening to the silence and his own thoughts, aching because of the guilt and Harry, and then, the subject of his desire appeared.
"Draco."
Quick as lightning Draco's eyes snapped open, staring at the direction of the voice, and felt his heart stopped in his chest, and then skipped a few beats, and he was breathless.
Harry was standing there, in front of him, green eyes shimmered with such pain and anguish that was so hurtful to look at, so Draco turned away.
They stood like that for a long time, neither speaking, nor moving, just Harry silently gazed at Draco with the unspoken question that blazed in his eyes, and Draco looking away, feeling very frightened and desperate.
It was Harry who broke the silence. "What are you doing here?"
Draco swallowed tightly, and was grateful that his legs were working as he walked to the window. "I could've asked you the same question."
Harry smiled, and shrugged, even though Draco couldn't see him. "I'm here because you're here."
Draco turned around and stared at Harry harshly. "Potter, you..."
"I still love you, you know?"
Those simple words that took Draco a while to comprehend, and when they did, they hit Draco with full force. It wasn't just those words alone, but the honest tone, straightforward attitude that left Draco no doubt of the truth. "W-what...?" Draco croaked. In all those weeks together, Harry had never said such thing to him, nor had he, and to hear them now, in this hour where his heart was desperately at need for affection and wants, was something that left Draco very torn apart between his reason and feeling.
Harry took steps forward, and instinctively Draco stepped back, until the blond hit the wall behind him and Harry was standing, just a foot away. "I do," Harry said softly, tilting his head to look Draco in the eyes. "And you know that, but you still left me."
It took all the will he had in him for Draco to keep eye contact with Harry. "You know as well as I do that we must. It won't work."
Harry shook his head patiently. "No, Draco, it all depends on the person to make it work. If you only let it, it will work out."
"How could you say that?!" Draco raged, finally losing it. "I thought it would, too! But look at what happened! My father died, Harry! He was murdered! By Voldemort! And why is that? Why?! Because I'm with you! I'm, Draco Malfoy, son of a Death Eater, is with you, Harry Potter the savior of the wizarding world! Are you not afraid? He could kill my mother for all that matters! He thinks my father betrayed him, Harry! And God knows how many of his followers are in Slytherin. Hell, I could be dead by tomorrow for all we know!"
Harry was startled by this sudden outburst of emotions, and surprised to find that an unknown anger was working itself inside him, too. "Did you think that I didn't realize this? Did you think how much I put on the line just to be with you?" Harry said calmly, but the fire in his eyes was blazing with anew fierceness. "When I decided to be with you, I've thought about this over and over again. I know we're two completely different worlds. You being the son of Voldemort's right hand man and me working for the Orders. Your father could've used you to hurt me, my friends, get secrets, but I ignored all that! I basically ignored the danger that you possible held. I ignored the probability that you were just following your father's order to get close to me. I know all that. I know that my friends - me - could die if you prove to be unfaithful. But I trust you. I care for you too much to let this go. I thought that we could do anything as long as we're together." The anger drained quickly, leaving the tears shimmering in his eyes. "I thought you felt the same way, too."
Their eyes locked, and Draco saw those unsaid words in Harry's eyes, and finally let his mind understood them.
Do you not love me enough to trust me - trust the bond between us? Do you not care enough to believe that this will work out? You should've known about the danger our relationship held. You shouldn't have been so ignorant, like you were all those years before. Why won't you think of what I feel? Do you truly think that we will be living in peace for the rest of our life? There's a war out there, Draco, and we're on different side. If you think I will leave the ones I loved to fight alone and go with you, you're wrong. You know me better. You should've known better than living in your dreams.
Draco was speechless, and Harry's eyes, no longer accusing and angry, gazed at him with tender feelings and understanding and sadness.
Harry stepped back, shaking his head. "I was wrong, then, to actually believe that you were different." And with that, Harry turned and ran out of the room.
Draco could only stand there and watched as his love got farther and farther away from him. Harry's words came back to his mind, and Draco felt like such a fool, because all those things Harry said were true. Draco was living in his dreams. Dreams of peace and love and the future of him and Harry. He tried not to think of the war, of his family's expectation, his fears, the real world. He should have known better. But he was fighting. He was fighting the truth, hoping against hope that if he kept hanging onto his dreams they will come true. But they wouldn't. And it was time he realized that and make amends... not to his family's loss, but for what that was ahead of him. In front of him.
Harry.
The thunder outside brought Draco back to the Astronomy Tower, and with a jolt he saw that it was raining angrily.
Without another thought Draco ran after Harry.
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Harry ran blindly ahead, not caring where he was going, just as long as he was far away from Draco, away from the source of his pain.
He couldn't believe it. He just couldn't. It was all over. This was the end of something beautiful and unimaginable and something that Harry had hoped was true and pure. Once again, Draco Malfoy had failed him.
The large double doors that led outside the castle appeared, and Harry pushed them open and ran outside.
The rain slapped at his face, stung him by its wetness and coldness. And yet, it was nothing compared to the numbness that spread inside him now.
The lake rushed past and the Forbidden Forest loomed nearer. Harry, not knowing where he was going, plunge into the tall, dark trees and disappeared.
I hate you, Draco, I hate you, tears dampened his face, mingled with the rain and soaked him thoroughly. I thought you were better than that...
Mud splattered everywhere as Harry gave a sharp cry and fell down, his foot caught in the root that protruded from the tall tree. Harry laid there, motionless and sobbing uncontrollably. He thought that Draco knew... understood of the risk he was taking when he decided to be with Harry - understood and still wanted to be with him. Apparently, that was not the case.
Harry had never felt so betrayed in his life.
Footsteps slapped against the muddy earth as they came closer to the Gryffindor. Harry tensed, thinking that it was some sort of creature in this forest.
"Harry."
The quiet voice was clear and sharp, cutting through the blowing wind and shrieking rain to be heard by Harry.
Wide eyes, the Gryffindor clambered up to his feet, but slipped and fell down again. Hasty footsteps came nearer, and a hand extended to help him, but Harry, fury filled his eyes and anger filled his mind, slapped the hand away. "Don't touch me!"
Startled, Draco took a step backward, watching many emotions played across the mud-stained face, slowly being washed by the rain. Shaking his head, Draco fell to his knees in front of Harry, looking the boy straight into the eyes. "Harry, I'm sorry..."
"What's there to be sorry for?" Harry said bitterly. "You obviously weren't sorry when you decided to play with my feelings all this time."
"Harry, it's not like that, I..." Draco bit his lower lip. "You were right. I was living in my dreams. I thought that we could leave everything behind and live in our own world. I was ignorant, I wished for the best, that we wouldn't have to face reality, that I wouldn't have to choose side. I... I was wrong." Draco stared down at the hands on his lap, curled into balls. "I didn't think about how you feel, or how I was so stupid as to..." Taking a deep breath, Draco continued, "I'm so sorry, Harry."
Harry could only stare at Draco, kneeling in front of him, with disbelief etched across his face, and he remained like that for a long time, unaware of his surrounding, or how lightly he and Draco were dressed in the middle of winter.
Draco winced when gentle fingers touched his chin and tilted his face up. Green fire filled his vision and Draco stayed there, mesmerized by its breathtaking beauty. "Why are you here? To say sorry? To tell me you see your faults?" Harry asked softly, his eyes gazing at Draco tenderly.
The blond reached up and clasped Harry's fingers in his hand. "No, I'm here to ask for a second chance, because I know..." a deep intake of breath, then Draco plunge on with all the courage he had, "I know I couldn't carry on without you. I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore, but I..."
"Draco." Draco closed his mouth, realizing he was rambling off, and looked at Harry.
The Gryffindor was smiling at him, smiling at him in that sweet, understanding way. "If I do give you a second chance, would you promise me something?"
Draco nodded. How could I not? "Of course."
Harry inched closer to Draco. "Then promise me that you'll never leave me again."
A blur moment in time passed, and for a second, the world really did leave them to their own little fantasy land, where Harry was looking at him with his green eyes and smiling at him with such... love.
Draco drew Harry closer to him, and soon their lips brushed against each other. "I promise" was just a whispered breath between the two boys before passion overdrove them.
The rain fell harder, but the boys, blinded by each other, did not notice, as hands and mouths roamed each other freely, wanting more, needing more.
Heat rushed through their bodies as clothes were quickly and impatiently discarded, and soon they were pressed against each other, skin to skin, and the light-headed feeling took them breathless.
Draco pulled away from Harry for a moment, and whispered breathlessly, "Harry, shouldn't we be getting back to our room now?"
Harry, eyes glazed and mind a hazy bunch of images of Draco, could only mumble something incoherently and kissed his lover again. Draco gave up, and kissed Harry back, knowing that they would look like a mess when they got back in the morning, but didn't care... well, not at the moment.
Draco never considered himself a multi-tasked person, but he did now, as he all at once spread out Harry's robe and gathering Harry into his arms and carefully laying him down. Harry moaned quietly about something, and Draco hushed him with his lips, then kissed Harry's jaw... the pulse of his throat... the base of his neck... all the while, using the rain as lubricant, pressed his finger gently against the other boy's entrance as to not hurt him. Harry tensed slightly, then relaxed, letting the finger pass... and the second... until impatience frustrated both of them, or rather, when they were too aroused to really care about preparation, Harry pulled Draco's head down and demanded him inside with a fierce kiss. Draco couldn't be happier to comply.
Harry gasped out, his eyes locked with Draco when he felt a pulsing hotness pushed slightly against him. Draco smiled, wiping some hair out of Harry's face, and the boy sighed contentedly, grasping Draco's hand as if to assure him that this was real, and was not disappointed, as Draco squeezed his hand in return.
Lightning flashed across the sky, and the rain was falling more viciously than ever, drowning out the sounds of passion in the dark forest. As the rain pour reduced to a small drizzle, the name of each other escaped their lips and echoed in the quiet forest.
Sighing, Draco laid down next to Harry, who automatically curled up into the warm embrace. Smiling, Draco pulled their clothes up to cover them as much as he could before falling into blissful sleep, finally, with Harry in his arms.
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A raindrop slipped from the green leaf and onto Harry's nose, waking him up.
Looking over to Draco, Harry giggled slightly, realizing that he had just woken up from a wonderful dream into another much more pleasant one. Unable to help himself, Harry tilted his head and pressed his lips against Draco's neck, rousing the other to the conscious world.
Harry loved looking at Draco like this: when his eyes slowly opened, then closed, and opened again, then the sleepy fog cleared from his confused eyes, and then he would smile at Harry.
"G'morning," Draco said quietly.
"'Morning," Harry replied and, with a giggle, jumped on Draco and eagerly kissed him.
"WHOA-mmm..." Draco raised his hand and ran his fingers through Harry's hair, feeling the wetness... wait... wet?
The event of last night came back to him, and a wave of happiness and relief washed through him, and Draco was so surprised and unbelieving at the thought of how close he was to lose Harry. Well, no longer, Draco thought determinedly, tightened his arms around the other boy, I'll never leave him even if it means...
Harry's green eyes were now bright and oh so delightfully happy, grinning down at him, and Draco's mind was made up. Yes, even if it means my family.
Draco squint his eyes, and Harry turned around, looking up through the trees to see the first ray of sunlight sipped through the canopy of leaves, shinning down upon them.
There was always a way - a light - after a storm, and Draco found it, as he looked down at Harry, who was looking up at the glinting droplets on the leaves, a bewilder expression graced his face.
"Harry?"
"Mmhmm?"
"I didn't have a chance to tell you yesterday, but..." Draco began, watching as Harry turned to look at him, "I love you too."
Harry's eyes widened at Draco, and he was momentarily speechless at the confession. But as soon as the disbelief appeared it was gone, and Harry grinned. "I know."
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"You bloody idiots!"
Draco and Harry, sitting in front of their room's fireplace with a tissue box next to them and a large amount of used tissues on the floor, winced at Hermione's outrage. Ron, sitting on the armchair, smirked at them.
"Do you know how worried I was?" Hermione screeched. "Do you even know the meaning of danger? Wandering into the Forbidden Forest! At the middle of the night, actually, staying for the whole night! You could've died! Or worse, lose Gryffindor all the points I have earned! And don't you say a word, Malfoy!" She glared at Draco when he opened his mouth to tell her that he wasn't a Gryffindor. "And you! You could've stopped him! You went after him and stayed there for the whole night! What were you thinking?! And both of you! At least have the sense to wear something warm! Getting a cold, especially when our semester exams are coming! You are so lucky I'm not telling McGonagall this, otherwise just imagine how many detentions you're going to have for the rest of the year!"
"Hermione, please, we were just ... a-a-choo!" Harry pressed a tissue to his red nose while Draco patted his back. Hermione's eyes softened at the affection Draco was showing towards Harry.
Crossing her arms, Hermione said matter-of-factly, "Well, I'm just glad you both are okay now." Draco and Harry jumped at the sudden change of mood. "I mean, your relationship." At that the two boys smiled at each other sweetly. Hermione rolled her eyes at the romance of it all. "You two are getting too sappy for my taste, so I'm going to leave you for now."
"Yeah, Hermione and I need some time alone too," Ron added, standing up.
"Ron!" Hermione elbowed Ron, blushing.
"Well, it's true," Ron protested, wrapping an arm around Hermione's waist. "With all the love problems we have to solve these past few days, not to mention your passion for schoolwork, we barely have any time alone at all. Anyhow, we're leaving you now."
As Hermione and Ron leaved through the portrait hole, Ron turned back. "Oh, and Malfoy?" Draco looked up to the redhead. "Take care of Harry."
To Hermione and Harry's surprise, the blond smile. "You don't need to tell me that. I'm planning to take care of him for the rest of my life."
Harry blushed.
Ron rolled his eyes and slammed the portrait closed.
Harry turned to Draco. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
Draco sighed, pulling Harry close to him. "Weasley and I... well, we made a truce. As long as you're with me, we'll be tolerant towards each other." Draco looked away from Harry, obviously a little abashed. "Besides, I don't want to cause you any trouble."
Harry had never felt prouder of Draco, so he leaned up and pecked him on the lips.
They smiled at each other.
"Draco... when is your father's funeral?" Harry asked suddenly, breaking the comfortable moment.
Draco tensed, but forced himself to relax and seemed calming. "Tomorrow."
"Oh..." Harry said, looking a bit surprised. "Oh... um... are you going?"
Draco took Harry's hand and nodded. "I have to. I'm the only heir to the Malfoy's family, but I... Harry, I'm just wondering, it's okay if you don't I want to, but... would you come with me?"
Harry stared at Draco's hopeful expression. Going with Draco to Lucius's funeral... it would mean taking a great risk, since all the Death Eaters will be there, and he could be killed in a blink of eye, but... Harry looked back up at his lover, and felt his resolve breaking. "Of course I'll go," Harry answered, feeling his stomach do a funny flip-flop at the smile on Draco's face.
Harry gasped when he was suddenly raised and spun around, with Draco laughing. "Draco!" Harry shut his eyes, feeling the world rushed by, then finally, they fell into a heap on the carpet.
Draco looked down at Harry flushed face, their breaths mingled in the silent room, except for the crackling fire in front of them. The blond raised a finger to trace Harry's lips, who lay still, watching the pale face concentrating on his task, and his own hand rose to sweep the falling blond locks out of Draco's eyes.
Another smile passed their lips as they leaned down for a kiss.
"HARRY!"
The portrait burst open and in came Sirius, followed by a seeming very annoyed Remus.
Harry, upon hearing his godfather's voice, instinctively pushed Draco away and quickly, albeit clumsily, stood up. "Sirius!" Harry said, breathing harshly. "Hi!"
Sirius ignored Draco and hugged Harry tightly. "My dear, dear godson! What had he done to make you so sick?"
Remus just shook his head. "Sirius, please, Harry's not the only one who's gotten a cold."
Sirius glared at Draco. "He's the only one I care about."
"That makes two of us," Draco replied nonchalantly.
Remus and Harry could actually feel the sparks of hatred flying about in the air as the two of them stood glaring at each other.
"How did you know I was sick anyway?" Harry asked quickly, hoping to ease the tension.
At that Remus smiled and led Harry to the sofa and sat down next to him. Sirius immediately sat himself on the other side of Harry, grinning triumphantly at Draco. "Oh, yes, we didn't see you this morning at breakfast, so we asked Hermione."
Draco muttered something under his breath about using a permanent Silencing Charm on Hermione.
"Anyway, so we come to see if you're alright," Remus looked Harry up and down. "You are alright, aren't you? Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"
Harry shook his head quickly. "No, I'm fine. It's just a slight cold, it'll go away in a matter of t-time-achoo!"
Remus quickly handed Harry a tissue. "Thanks," Harry muffled.
"So, Harry, you and Draco are alright now, hmm?" Remus asked, looking at both of them.
"Please tell me you two aren't alright!" Sirius begged hopefully.
Harry grinned apologetically at Sirius. "Sorry, Sirius, but Draco and I are together." Harry held out his hand to Draco, who took it, now smirking at Sirius, who sat sulking.
Remus laughed and grasped Sirius' hand. "Please excuse him. He hasn't realized how old he is."
"What! Are you implying I'm childish, Remus? Because if you are..."
"Shut up, Sirius," Remus said fondly, then turned to the two boys. "We're going now. See you later." With that, Remus insistently pulled Sirius away, pushing him out of the room and glanced back at Harry. "And Harry? I asked Professor Dumbledore's permission for you and Draco to leave school tomorrow, just be sure to pick up the Portkey from my office, okay?"
Harry and Draco could only stare as Remus closed the portrait while calming down a curious Sirius, who was currently yelling questions.
Noises were immediately cut off once the portrait closed, and Harry turned to Draco. "Did he just say what I thought he just said?" Harry asked faintly.
"If he just said what you thought he just said then he must have said it," Draco answered. They both paused to think about that sentence.
Draco sneezed, and Harry grabbed a tissue for him. "Thanks..." Draco blew his nose and threw the soft sheet aside. "I think I need to lie down."
Harry quickly led Draco to the bed and they climbed under the blanket. "I don't think we'll be having sex before this cold is cured," Harry said logically.
"What luck," Draco said mournfully and Harry chuckled. Then the blond pulled Harry closer. "But I can always content myself with keeping you close for the whole day."
Harry giggled, and wrapped his arms around Draco. "Let's sleep, Draco."
"Mmm..." Draco nodded, already falling into the hands of sleep.
Harry smiled gently and kissed Draco on the forehead, then closed his eyes, snuggled closer to his lover.
He finally felt at home again.
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'Turn out the lights now
To see is to believe
I just want you near me
I just want you here with me
And I'd give up everything only for you
It's the least that I could do
'Cause when there's you, I feel whole
And there's no better feeling in the world
But without you I'm alone
And I'd rather be in love with you...'
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THE HEIR TO THE MALFOY FAMILY RENOUNCED HIS LOYALTY
Shocking news to the wizarding world
The only heir to the Malfoy family, one of the most respectable and oldest families in the wizarding world, Draco Malfoy, had shockingly revealed his loyalty on November 30 at Lucius Malfoy's funeral, written by John Taylor from the Daily Prophet. It was a gathering of the family's relatives and friends as they mourned for the death of Mr. Lucius Malfoy. Mrs. Narcissa Malfoy was seen very distraught with unsuppressed sorrow, waiting for her son to arrive. At approximately 11 A.M. Draco Malfoy appeared through the fireplace. It wasn't his presence that caused the disbelief and unwanted attention from his family, however, but the fact that the person accompanying him was the Boy-Who-Lived, the savior and hope of wizardkind, Harry Potter. As we all know, Harry Potter had banished the Dark Lord that had roamed our land freely and murdered many of our right-hand wizards and witches seventeen years ago, earning him the title 'The-Boy-Who-Lived'.
As expected, the tension in the air was evident as Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy wound their ways through the crowd, unfriendly and curious murmurs breaking out, directing towards the most unlikely pair. As of no doubt, Draco's mother was quite bewildered and had demanded the reason of Mr. Potter's presence.
It was rumored that the heir to the Malfoy's fortune and the Boy-Who-Lived are engaging themselves in an intimate relationship, but no real proof was given until Mr. Malfoy revealed it to us all.
Quoted from Draco Malfoy, who had boldly took Mr. Potter's hand in his and said clearly, in the middle of the room, "Harry's here because I asked him to, and whatever you heard, mother, is true. I am with Harry."
Mrs. Malfoy was in hysterical. That was foreseen, but what that was unexpected was the announcement Mrs. Malfoy made to the family, as she stood there, very much furious with her son: Draco Malfoy was to be disowned from the Malfoy family. The heritage that was to pass down to him is now being confirmed in the Gringotts vault until Mrs. Malfoy could find the next appropriate and deserving heir.
Mr. Malfoy seemed to have expect this, because he nodded and bowed to his mother, then turned to look at his father for the last time, and as unexpected as their arrivals, they departed with an unconcealed Porkey.
The event has caused much confusion and questions among the family, one of them concerning who that was to take place of Draco Malfoy. So far the problem has been unresolved.
But the more important question that undoubtedly burns in our minds is how and why Draco Malfoy let go of his fortune and name to stay by Mr. Potter's side, the family long-time enemy. Could it be that this whole episode at the funeral was just a show to get Mr. Malfoy trusted by Harry Potter and his friends for a bigger scheme plotted by the Dark Lord? Or if perhaps this is only a teenage crush that will fade with time? All questions will be answered as soon as reliable news reached us. For now, we could only wait and see.
-fin-
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Please wait patiently for Part III of Sweetest Fire - The Colors of Christmas, coming soon to the theatre near you.