The Ramblings of Two Bored Cousins
By Melissa Tachigawa and her cousin, Matthew insert last name here
Disclaimer: What the Hell is wrong with you?! Does it look like we own animes?!
Melissa: Uh, so what should we do?
Yusuke: I hate you.
Melissa: (glomps Yusuke) Matthew, how did Yusuke get here?
Yusuke: Who's Matthew?
Melissa: My cousin! He was supposed to be here… (looks around) Aha! (lassos Matthew and pulls him over) Hi there, Matthew!
Matthew: Fine, I'll play along with you.
Melissa: Yay! ^_^
Yusuke: Can I go home now?
Matthew: Me too?
Melissa: NO!! I'm going to torture you!
Matthew: Does that mean you're gonna rape us?
Melissa: (whacks him on the head) No! Only Yusuke.
Yusuke: O_O
Matthew: Was that supposed to hurt?
Melissa: (takes out sharp pointy object) Should I make it hurt?
Matthew: You wouldn't dare.
Melissa: Wanna bet?
Matthew: Money?
Melissa: How much?
Matthew: Since I know it's not gonna hurt, I'll put in nothing.
Melissa: Hey! _#
Yusuke: …
Matthew: I don't know what to say now
Yusuke: Don't say anything, Melissa's a jerk, wouldn't you say?
Matthew: Hell yeah, Melissa sure is one freak
Melissa: I may be a freak, but you don't have to be mean about it! (About to cry)
Yusuke: Like we care about you
Melissa: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T
Matthew: Was that supposed to be a moan?
Melissa: BAKA HENTAI!!
Matthew: I don't understand Japanese, so how's that supposed to offend me?
Melissa: …I don't know. O_o
Matthew: Why the hell did you call me sweetie?
Melissa: One, you spelled it wrong, and two, I call all of my YOUNGER cousins that.
Matthew: Well, at least I'm taller than you
Melissa: Shut up! (Runs away in tears) I AM SO SHORT!!!
Matthew: Got that right
Melissa: (comes back momentarily) (whacks him on the head) (Runs away again) No wait, you're just really tall! Ha! (comes back, glomps Yusuke out of instinct)
Yusuke: Why me?
Matthew: I don't know what to say again
Melissa: Are you at a loss for words?
Yusuke: I'm at a loss of oxygen (turning blue)
Melissa: KYA!! CPR, dammit!! Anyone here-other than me- know it?
Matthew: Is Yusuke the only one here besides us?
Melissa: Does that matter now? He's dying-again!!
John Basedow: Look who joined the party!!
Melissa: (eyes widen in fear) Not again! (Picks up Yusuke O.o and runs away)
Kenshin Himura: Can I join too?
Melissa: Oro? (Drops Yusuke, runs back) KENNYSHIN!! (Glomp)
Yusuke: So you dumped me?
Melissa: Technically, no, but literally, yes.
Yusuke: I'm finally happy
Melissa: O.O Meanie! Why don't you go screw Kurama for all I care?!
Inuyasha: Me too?
Melissa: Can you tape it for me?
Matthew: And you said I was a hentai.
Melissa: You do understand Japanese!
Matthew: How did I talk?
Melissa: Cuz I typed it for you. ^^
Matthew: Don't I get anyone?
Melissa: Kaoru-dono! Kagome-chan! My cousin wants to er… talk to you! (Mutters) More like screw…
Matthew: Who are they?
Melissa: Your bishojo!
Matthew: Uhh like no
Melissa: Yes!
Matthew: I'm bored again…
Melissa: Isn't that why we did this?
Anime peeps: YOU MADE US COME HERE?!?!
Melissa: Yep! -^_^- Hey, maybe I should stick this on fanfiction.net…
Matthew: No
Melissa: Why not?
Matthew: Because I said so?
Melissa: That was a question?
Matthew: so
Melissa: Huh?
Matthew: Huh?
Melissa: Oro?
Kenshin: That's my line, that it is.
Kagome: Uh, Lissa-chan, Kaoru-chan and I are gonna go get a facial, a mani, and a pedi. Wanna come?
Melissa: Sure! (Puts leashes on bishonen) We'll bring them too!
Matthew: I'm speechless
Melissa: Aren't you always?
Matthew: Yep
Melissa: I suggest you say something to Kagome and Kaoru before we leave.
Matthew: What do you suggest?
Melissa: I suggest you do what I said you should do before I get angry (takes out pointy and sharp object again)
Matthew: How about I turn gay and take Yusuke?
Melissa: Do you really want this to be a yaoi?
Matthew: Huh?
Melissa: Yaoi means shonen-ai. ^^
Matthew: Ah
Melissa: What does that mean?
Matthew: I don't know
Melissa: You're strange.
Matthew: So are you
Melissa: I know.
Matthew: What now?
Melissa: I'm going to a salon with Kaoru-chan and Kagome-chan. What are you and the bishonen doing?
Matthew: Have a 4some
Melissa: (hands him a video camera) Make me a tape onegai?
Matthew: Sure
Melissa: Now really, Matthew, I didn't know you were into those kind of things.
Matthew: What things?
Melissa: Read the stuff above and I think you'll get it.
Matthew: No
Melissa: Lazy ass
Matthew: Exactly
Melissa: XP
Matthew: You're stupid
Melissa: I'm rubber your glue, anything you say bounces off of me and sticks to you =P
Matthew: XD
Melissa: And what is that supposed to mean?
Matthew: I don't have to tell you
Melissa: I'm older than you, so you have to tell me cuz I said so!
Matthew: No
Melissa: MOMMY!! Matthew's being a buttmunch!
Mommy: So?
Melissa: O.o The world is conspiring against me and they've just recruited my own mother! (Runs away) Come my penguin and one Hamtaro army, we shall take over the world! PUUCHU!!
Yusuke: How bout me?
Melissa: How bout you what?
Yusuke: HUH?
Melissa: What?
Matthew: This is stupid
Melissa: SO ARE YOU!!! (- that was all in caps… O.o) I'm confused… @_@
Matthew: You always are
Melissa: True.
Matthew: True
Melissa: True what?
Matthew: True what?
Melissa: (Punches Matthew) STOP THAT!!!
Matthew: That didn't hurt
Melissa: Yu-chan! I want you to punch Matthew and make it hurt! Badly!
Yusuke: (yawns)
Yusuke: Spirit Gun
Matthew: AAAAH! (Runs away)
Matthew: I'm being possessed again.
Melissa: (holds up Matthew voodoo doll) Yup!
Matthew: Huh?
Melissa: Not again!
Matthew: What?
Melissa: Oh, screw it! Or even better, Yusuke!
Yusuke: O.o
Matthew: What?
Melissa: I'm leaving now. (Drags Bishonen on leashes) Time to get that mani and put it on Matthew's credit card! ^_^
Matthew: You sure have left a lot
Melissa: Left a lot of what?
Matthew: Leaving
Melissa: Oh, that! … Uh, does that really matter?
Matthew: Yup
Melissa: Why?
Matthew: I don't know
Melissa: You're stupid. I'm leaving again. (Walks away)
Matthew: Yes! I'm alone
InuYasha: No you're not XD
Matthew: Cool
InuYasha: Got any instant ramen or jewel shards?
Matthew: No, but Melissa does
InuYasha: Jewel shards or instant ramen?
Matthew: No
InuYasha: Huh?
Matthew: Huh?
InuYasha: Grr… TETSUSUIGA!!!
Matthew: I'm invincible.
InuYasha: (cuts Matthew in half, Matthew is still alive) Dammit! …Uh, ya got any two's?
Matthew: You act just like Melissa
InuYasha: I'm OOC.
Matthew: Oh I forgot! John Basedow's still here
John Basedow: God damn right I am.
Matthew: More fun I guess
InuYasha: Great! Now we can 3some
Matthew: O.O;
John Basedow: No thank. I've had enough fun with the 4some earlier
Matthew: Are you gay InuYasha?
InuYasha: Hell no! I was just joking.
Matthew: Phew
InuYasha: Anyway, I've got Kagome
Matthew: Aww man, I wanted her
Melissa: We're back! And Matthew, I heard that! I knew you wanted Kagome!
Kagome: O///o
Matthew: Huh?
Melissa: (pushes Kaoru to the front) There's always Kaoru-chan.
Kaoru: O///o
Kenshin: (Steps in front of Kaoru with his sakabatou) My bitch, back off!
Kaoru: Your bitch?! (Takes out bokken) YOU'RE SLEEPING IN THE SHED TONIGHT, YOU DAMNED RUROUNI!!!
Matthew: Huh?
Melissa: Stop saying huh already!
Matthew: Oro?
Melissa: ARRRGH!! …Hey, wait, what about Tae? Do ya like her, Matthew-kun?
Matthew: wtf?
Melissa: Such vulgar language! (lol) Anyway, I could always set you up with Tae from the Akabeko.
Matthew's Demon: I say you kill them all, they're all worthless pieces of shit
Matthew: Where did you come from?
Matthew's Demon: Duh! Hell, you dumbass
Matthew: Right, right
Matthew's Angel: Violence is never the answer young one
Matthew: Right you are angel, but Melissa is so f-ing annoying
Matthew's Demon: Then kill her!
Matthew: Hmm… I guess I should… It's for the best of this world anyway. (Kills InuYasha and takes his Tetsusaiga)
Kagome: How dare you!?
Matthew: I had to.
Kenshin: You're gonna have to pass me if you wanna kill Melissa, violence is never the answer…
Matthew: You will die too Kenshin… HIIIYAAA! (Kills Kenshin)
Melissa: How could you?
Matthew: Shut up, you're time is near
Melissa: NOOOO!! Don't kill you're favorite cousin
Matthew: Favorite? O.o…yea right
Melissa: Well do what you must, Matthew.
Matthew: DIIEE!! (Melissa dies)
Yusuke: Though that was horrible, now I can live in peace.
Matthew: So, Kagome, what do you say, you and me?
Kagome: Inuyasha was getting boring anyway, sure
Matthew: Hell yeah!
Kaoru: I guess I should kill myself now after my Kenshin dying and all.
Matthew: Well bye
Kaoru: (stabs herself with some dagger out of nowhere)
Yusuke: Well I'm heading out, have fun you two
Kagome: We sure will, right Matthew?
Matthew: Of course (kisses Kagome)
The End…Matthew: I know Melissa's going to type something after this, so I guess it's not the end
Melissa: You're damn right!! I'm back from Hell! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
Matthew: How did you…?
Melissa: Let's see, I took over with a sharp and pointy object, and not to mention that my penguin and one Hamtaro army helped. And ya know what?
Matthew: What?
Melissa: InuYasha helped me!
InuYasha: DIE YOU @^#*$(% BASTARD!!! KAGOME IS MY BITCH!!!
Melissa: I think some people have been hanging out with my twinlit too much… she claims her bishonen as her bitches. ()
Matthew: (dies)
Melissa: Hah! Burn in Hell, you ungrateful cousin of mine!!
Yusuke: And this is what we call family rivalries. ()
Melissa: (dies)
Yusuke: Cool, she died again, but how?
Matthew: I never did die… Melissa just thinks she's all that… typing stuff that isn't real…
Yusuke: Right you are.
Melissa: (wipes off ketchup on clothes) Matthew! What the Hell?! This was one of my favorite shirts!
Matthew: Oh crap…
Melissa: (extremely angry) DAMN YOU MATTHEW!! I AM SO GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD THAT YOURGREAT GRANDCHILDREN WILL FEEL IT!!!!!!!
Matthew: uhi'vegottagobuhbye!! (runs away)
Melissa: COME BACK HERE!!!
Matthew: I'm gonna have grandchildren?
Melissa: Probably not, but on the off chance that you do, I've cursed you. ^^
Matthew: I'm bored again.
Melissa: (types what he just said)
Matthew: . How funny.
Melissa: ^-^
Matthew: What?
Melissa: I dunno.
Matthew: Melissa is stupid, and that's why she's typing all of the crap that I'm saying, even though I didn't actually say all this; she's just typing it because she is a freak.
Melissa: Huh?
Matthew: Ehehehehehehe…
Melissa: (types that too)
Matthew: You're stupid.
Melissa: What ever, at least I'm smarter than you. XP
Matthew: (claps his hands annoyingly) (reads that line) You're so stupid!
Melissa: Ehehehehehe…
Matthew: Now what? … You're stupid.
Melissa: How many times are you going to say that?
Matthew: I dunno.
Melissa: Ya know, I did this to our other cousins, they got really annoyed… Now what?
Matthew: I dunno.
Melissa: Do you know anything?
Matthew: Yes.
Melissa: Finally, a yes!
The frickin' endBecause Melissa is too lazy to write anymore and Matthew really isn't helping much. ^^;;