A/N: Light before Dark...this is fluffy as far as my crazy butt is concerned. Working on the next...should be up in the next 12 hours. I'm going to do my best to be at 10 chapters before the stroke of midnight NYE (EST). :) You're free to hold me to it.

One Foot (Fun.)

Santana's POV

"Are you sure you want to come with me?" I asked Walker as we walked through the park after our meeting on Monday night.

"I already told you that I would go with you. Charlie is already set to stay with my sister, and we made dinner reservations with your sponsor. The question is, are YOU sure that you want me to come?"

"Well...I was just th-thinking about how I'd explain you being there to Brittany."

"What's there to explain? We're sober buddies and business partners."

"Business partners?"

"Well, yes, I've been mentoring you about business ownership and the like, have I not?"

"And going on s-semi-dates with the kids and me."

"Hangouts. We haven't had sex, and I am married."

"Wait...how did I not know this?"

"I don't wear a ring, and things are a bit strained between Heather and me at the moment, but that's understandable. She spends half the year working in London and half her time here. We make it work for Charlie. He's the most important thing to us both. To be honest, that's why you've seen me so much. My temptations rise when she's gone. The meetings and this friendship have been a great distraction."

"I don't wear a ring, but you know that I'm married. Shit...this is...wow."

"You okay? You're pouting."

"I just um...feel so dumb for not knowing anything about you."

"Don't be. I have enjoyed you not judging me for dumb mistakes in my past. Even now, over a decade of staying sober and people in my circle and my family still side-eye me."

"Wow...people still doubt you? S-Something to look forward to, I guess."

"People trust you more than you realize, Susan, especially."

"You're right."

"I usually am. So how long are we staying?"

"Just a few days. Three, maybe."

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Hi Henry,

Not like, I completely forgot about my grand opening this Friday. I just got a frantic call from Z, asking what time we should do our soft open tomorrow. I have been so absorbed with planning my trip to New York that I forgot my own shit.

This can't be how letting Britt back into my life affects me.

I need to be able to stay on track, and I can't do that if I stop putting myself first again. I have to be a little bit selfish, or I'm going to be a martyr again, putting everyone before myself until I crack under the pressure.

Thankfully, I have Walker! She has canceled a trip to the CoCo Bean to walk me through this final training with the staff and the general opening shenanigans'. I had planned to go straight to New York today, but now Britt has to wait a few days.

Walker insists that I need to be available two days before and after my opening to handle any mishaps.

So it looks like Monday is the day that we leave, and instead of going for three days, I'm making it a whole week. Britt needs help, and I need to check in with Doc.

Among other things.

Wish me luck, pray for me, and God, please keep me sober.

-Santana

"Thanks for this." I said to Sue as we ran together on Thursday morning while the Cheerios worked on their Sectional routine on the football field.

"It's a point of pride for me that one of my Cheerios is branching out and preparing to take over the world. You will be a shrewd businesswoman and successful because that's how I raised you."

"Raised me?"

She chuckled and then picked up her pace. I gulped some air and then met her stride for stride, despite her legs being longer. I'm convinced that she was going easy on me, not that she'd ever admit it.

"I've been keeping tabs on Britt, and I'm glad you're going to check on her."

"What do your sources say?"

"A great many things. Grady has lodged a sexual harassment claim against the theater company and Brittany, but it's only gaining traction because she can be linked to Marco through you."

"Is this going to be a b-big deal?"

"Unless you know anyone that can make things go away? You know, without trading drugs for favors."

"I do."

"It might be good for you to reach out to your contacts, Brittany is many things, but she's not a sexual predator."

"Predator?"

"They're saying some pretty shitty things, Santana, I won't lie to you. I wanted to kill Brittany with my bare hands when I found out what she did to you, but I can honestly say, whatever happened between her and that guy was consensual."

"Oh, definitely."

"On a lighter note, I've got Tor and her friends passing out those flyers at the pep rally tonight...they have coupons on them for a free scoop with a valid ticket stub to Friday night's game."

"Genius," I said.

"Understatement."

"Naturally."

"You're going to the city with this new sober friend of yours, correct?"

"Yes."

"Will you being seeing Q?"

"I might if she h-has time."

"She'll make time, listen, I want you to be smart about this trip. Fill up your time with your network. Brittany is in a dark place, don't let her drag you back down. She's always been able to bounce back much easier than you. Remember that."

"Yes, coach."

"Alright, I'll leave you here, kiss those babies for me." I saluted Sue and ran in place, bringing my heart rate back down as I watched her run towards the field.

While I was exhausted, the run seemed to have energized her.

She was yelling at the Cheerios before I even crossed the street to the apartments.

Mr. Oliver moved back into his apartment last weekend, and I've been so wrapped up in my own shit that I hadn't checked in. I was going to correct that lapse in judgment if for nothing else, to check out Rob's work.

So after toweling off in the hallway, I knocked on Mr. Oliver's door just as hard as he liked to knock on mine.

The door swung open, and I lost my whole breath.

"Uh..." I checked the number on the door and then looked into the most beautiful eyes I had seen outside of Britt's. "Is Mr. Oliver here?"

"He's resting. Who are you?" She leaned against the door jamb and smirked at me.

"I'm his u-upstairs neighbor and the owner of this b-building." I stuttered. She was looking at my chest, and then her eyes trailed down. That's when I remembered that I was in my sports bra and track pants. I was probably still glistening from my run too.

She was hot but was so not what I needed at that moment.

I wiped my sweaty hand on my pants and then stuck out my fist. She bumped it and then looked behind her before pulling the door closed and stepping out into the hall with me.

"I'm Sofia. His care aide, I just started last week when he was still upstairs. You're the young mulata that lives above him?"

"I'm Puerto Rican."

"Yeah, he has no idea what anyone is. He asked if I'm from the hood and told me he's cataloged all of his stuff. I've been making sure to leave anything that I usually carry in my car and essentially I show him that I have nothing of his when I leave. He's stuck in a different time, I guess." She shrugged and then looked at my chest again before looking in my eyes.

I was checking her out, too, but I was a little less obvious about it.

"Mmm. I just c-came to check out the apartment."

"He just took his medicine, so he's dead to the world. You can go in and walk around."

"Thanks."

She opened the door again, and I followed her in, the scent of her cinnamon perfume trailing behind her, distracting me.

Is this what Marco meant when he said he could see that I was trouble from the start?

The new carpet, fresh paint, and brand new windows made the apartment look like it was in an upscale building in Manhattan and not a ground floor in Lima.

When he moved on, I'd be able to double the rent for sure.

Mr. Oliver slept right through my glance into his bedroom and my little flirtations with his aide.

I was horny without Sugar around to feed my urges, and with Britt so out of touch, there was no way that we'd be having sex for a really long time.

And as I've established, I have needs.

Escorting trained my sex drive to need more than I could supply, and this woman, Sofia, was practically throwing herself at me.

I stepped into the hall with the intention of checking on my own apartment when long fingers scratched at that fucking spot on the back of my neck, and then I was being pressed back against the stucco.

Her lips tasted like cigarettes and chocolate.

A taste that I missed more than I cared to admit.

I rested one hand on her ass, and the other gripped her arm.

She was like pure sex, and I was prepared to be hers for however long she wanted.

But then a throat was clearing, and I turned my head towards the sound, Sofia began nibbling at my neck, and I groaned.

Like his daughter, my father-in-law had uncanny timing.

Rob had been so good about me exploring my options, knowing what Britt had put me through, but at this moment, with a woman pressed up against me...I could see that wasn't the case anymore.

"Stop." I pushed the girl back, and that's when she noticed Rob and the Vixen turned into a demure, apologetic mouse. She muttered an apology and then went back into Mr. Oliver's apartment, leaving me to deal with the aftermath of a one-off make out.

"Rob...I...uh..." My words fell flat as he stared daggers through me, then he wiped a literal tear from his eye before walking past me up the stairs. "Wait!" I called after him.

He turned on the stairs, and our eyes met again. I could see my wife in his eyes, and it felt like a knife was in my chest.

"You're separated. She's hurt you, and I have respected your boundaries and needs, but this kind of reckless behavior isn't appropriate."

"Rob, I...it was just...I-I-I, fuck."

"Do you even know her?"

"No." I hung my head, not used to this kind of scolding.

"Look at me." He was closer now, his hand cupping my chin, and I flinched, but I looked up at him. "Reckless behavior comes before a spiral. I know your trend, Santana. Go to a meeting. Call Walker. Go see the kids. Don't come back here until you've got your head on straight."

He sounded like Doc.

And CiCi.

"I'm sorry. Don't tell Susan. Please?"

He leaned forward, dropped a kiss on my forehead, and then took a step back.

"Maybe this trip to New York will do you just as much good for you as it will for Brittany. Every person between you two is a wall...now is not the time to add more."

"I know."

"Go."

Friday, October 18th, 2013

Henry,

Things have been so weird since Rob caught me with that girl. He hasn't said anything to Susan from what I can tell, but he's been different with me. There's a wall now, and I don't know how to get past it.

I've been on my best behavior since, though, two meetings a day, daily check-ins with Cici and Walker, and complete focus on getting the Rage Cage ready. We painted the whole strip mall, all the stores got a face lift. Rob has been doing everything I ask of him, which makes me feel even shittier about going around him.

Sofia and I have been finding little moments to hookup. It's nothing serious, really just me scratching an itch. I haven't told her much about me. She knows I have kids, and that's about it. I haven't even had her up to my apartment, just hook-ups under the bleachers across the street.

It's all temporary, and I know that I'm being stupid, but it doesn't feel reckless.

Maybe I'm just bored?

My head is all over the place, Henry. I'm not sure how I can fix it.

-Santana

Thanks to Sue, getting the word out, and the general undercurrent of rage in Lima, we were a hit. The cages stayed full all night long, and we were nearly sold out of ice cream by the time we closed.

Charlie and Walker showed up around closing time, taking over a cage, while Z and I went over the numbers.

We'd made over a grand in our first night.

He swept me up in a tight hug and kissed my face.

"You are a godsend, Santana."

"Thanks."

"You're sticking around this weekend, right?"

"Yup, we are leaving Sunday night, and we will be back on Friday, just in time for another Game Night Special."

"Perfect."

Things with Sofia had cooled since I admitted that I was married the night before. She told me that she really wasn't into breaking up families. She gave me the whole; it's not you, it's me speech, and that was where we left things.

And the only person who had met her was Rob, but here she was, as we all stepped into the parking lot, leaned against a car.

"Sis, you missed it!" Z said, and I froze.

Sister?

"Hey bro, my client died this afternoon. I um...wasn't up for this. I just came by to let you know why." She said to Z and then she saw me. "Hi, Santana."

Walker stood by my side now as I stood there feeling nauseous.

"Hi. I didn't know you were his sister."

"We were raised together. He's my godbrother."

"Oh."

"Is this your wife?" She said, looking at Walker.

"No. My f-friend. Sorry about your client."

"Me too. He was crotchety but sweet in his own way. I'm sure you'll be happy he's gone."

My heart went still.

"Wait, Mr. O-Oliver?"

"Yeah. In his sleep. I showed up to work, and he was already cold. He had no family, so I'm not sure what happens next."

The mood between all of us shifted after that.

I shakily climbed in my car and took about one hundred deep breaths before heading home.

Rob had been right.

I could feel it, the darkness lingering just beneath my skin, and I was on autopilot.

My children were at home with Susan, and I drove in the opposite direction towards my apartment building.

I parked next to Mr. Oliver's old station wagon and stared at the dark building.

Officially, I was the only tenant now, and while this meant I could overhaul the whole place in my own time, it also meant that I had only one place in the world that was just mine.

I was about to call her, but headlights pulled into the parking lot, and then a cute little Bug was pulling in beside me.

Sofia looked at me with red-rimmed eyes and a soft smile.

And then she held up a little baggie, and my throat went dry.

Pills.

Now, I could do one of two things.

Driveaway or go up to my apartment with this girl, have as much sex as I could handle, and take those pills.

The answer seemed obvious.

I held up a finger and then looked down at my phone.

I know you are probably getting in bed, but I think I'm about to fuck up.-Santana

My phone rang immediately.

"Hey." I said into the phone.

"Where are you?"

"In my c-car."

"Where's the temptation?"

"In the other c-car with Sofia."

"Leave. Don't say goodbye or give her any excuses. You need to leave there and go home to your kids. Charlie and I will meet you there, it can be a sleepover. Okay?"

"Thanks.

"Hook up your Bluetooth. I'm not getting off this phone until I see you with my own eyes, okay kid?"

"Okay."

I sat staring at the wall of pictures in the Pierces' living room in the middle of the night with Daniela latched on. We'd been making strides with her being weaned off of my boob, but right then, I needed the comfort.

She was my tether to the present.

Charlie and Isaac were curled up on the overstuffed couch that Britt loved so much that she had us get the same one for the house in New York. Walker was lying beside me, scrolling on her phone and humming to herself.

This was the first time that we'd been spending any time together overnight, and it was happening in my wife's parents' house.

"This was where we first kissed." I said more to myself than to Walker.

"She's a pretty girl. How'd you two get from those happy cheerleaders to this?"

"A complicated set of missteps."

"Yeah?"

"I have this dream that I never answered that call from Marco...or that I just never gave him the power...that I came out to everyone, we had an awesome year. She was my prom date, and then we moved to New York, she'd go to Julliard, and I would be working towards law school. It was the dream."

I traced the Marco dimple on Daniela's chin and smiled to myself.

He'd given me her...maybe on purpose, maybe not, but he'd been there at the end.

His Preciosa.

His only good thing.

"You loved him." Walker shifted and stared me dead in my face. "That's the hangup, isn't it?"

"What?"

"A lot of this could have been avoided if you didn't love him. It seems like your love for him has driven Brittany to the very edge of her own sanity."

"So it's my fault...all of this?"

"What do you think, Santana?"

"I blame him...and her."

"What about taking accountability for your actions. Even tonight with this girl...you let this progress when you KNOW that we are going to New York, and you'll have to face Brittany. You carry your guilt on your face and in your body language. It was YOU that told me that you wanted to be serious about your marriage, but your words and your actions contradict."

"I know."

"What do you want?"

"Her."

"Her, who?"

"Britt. Still."

"Love with action is irrelevant. Action without love is meaningless."

"Profound."

"Chopra. Do you get what that means?"

"I can love her, but if I don't sh-show it, it's irrelevant. A waste of time."

"Exactly...and action?"

"Going through the motions without love for her is a waste of time. It means nothing."

"You going to New York is putting action behind your love. Don't cheapen it with distractions and things that will take you off your path. If you stop and indulge in every temptation on your path, you will stop being sober. I swear to you."

"Shit." I muttered, then looked at the wall again.

I'd opened Britt up to temptation, and now I was feeling annoyed that she went along with it.

I keep saying I don't want to be led by anyone, but then I lead and fuck it all up.

And Britt, I take her power away, and she goes looking for it in other people who tear her apart.

"You okay?"

"It's my f-fault, and I need to fix it. Not just for her, but for me and for these kids."

"That-a girl."

"I need to talk to you." I stormed into the Rage Cage a half hour before opening the next morning with my heart a jumble of weird.

Explaining to my in-laws why they woke up to Walker and Charlie sleeping in their living room without admitting to being near spiraling had been hard, and I just didn't need that kind of nonsense.

So I went to someone who had always had my back, and I knew for a fact would help me navigate this shit.

"Is this about you and Sofia hooking up because I want no part in that carpet munching drama."

I raised my eyebrow, and he dropped his crossed arms and remembered that we weren't in the halls of McKinley and that I was very much his boss.

"She dangled a bag of p-pills in my face." I said, and he looked stunned.

"There's no way she's going to throw away her life like that. She's not some kinda junkie."

"But I am some kinda junkie, Z. I can't be mixed up with her. Tell me she's not going to be a problem."

"Look, she's been staying in town for that old guy, but she has other patients closer to where she lives in Indiana. I'll tell her to back off, but I can't make her."

"Fuck." I slammed my hand against the counter and then tried to breathe.

Z put a crate on the counter.

"You have yet to throw an ax. Maybe now is a good time."

I looked at the crate and then up at him.

"Is there something that turns her off?"

Z thought about it and then smirked.

"Yeah."

"What?"

"God."

"Huh?"

"She's super anti-religion. You want to get rid of her, start being the good church girl you used to be."

My mood was lifted as I picked up the crate...if there was anything I knew how to do, it was to be a church girl.

God is so good.

After checking in on the Rage Cage and the other business on the strip, I grabbed a large coffee for myself and a extra whip Frappuccino for the other big kid in my life before heading to the apartments.

I even drove fast enough for the whip cream to be intact but slow enough to not make it fly everywhere.

And when I pulled up next to Britt's old pickup that he'd been using for supplies, I felt resolved in my decision.

Walker and I had talked about this for a few days now. Today was the day that I stopped making bad decisions.

So, I grabbed the coffee, a manila folder, and followed the sound of the table saw into the apartment across from Mr. Oliver's.

I had sex in that place with Sofia not two days prior, and now I was standing here, hoping to make amends.

Having learned my lesson with scaring people with power tools, I stepped into Rob's line of sight and then waited for him to finish.

He looked annoyed, but then I shook the Frappuccino at him, and he smirked.

Just like always, the Lopez charm trumps the Pierce grudges.

I had plenty of practice under my belt, which meant that I also had gotten really good at speaking their language.

When the saw stopped, he tossed the wood to the side and wiped his hands on his jeans before taking the sugary drink from me.

"Thanks." He grunted and then took a long sip from the cup before leaning back against the wall.

"You're welcome. Can we...talk?" I asked.

"Talk." He said.

"No, I meant, upstairs, c-casually in my apartment. Please?"

He raised his eyebrows and then nodded.

"This isn't a setup, is it? If Suzie sees me drinking this, I'll never hear the end of it. You aren't getting back at me for the cold shoulder, are ya?"

"Ha. No...it's a good move, but it's not one I thought wise."

"Good. Alright, but just for a while, I want to get this wall built."

"Okay. A while it is."

I led the way up to my apartment, hoping that my method of sitting a person down to talk would work on my father-in-law. He had been my ally in the family aside from Court, and I had already lost her. I couldn't lose him too. I mean, Susan is great, but I just know that if she had to choose, like really pick, she'd choose Britt every time.

Rob though, he could be swayed.

When I pushed open my apartment door, there sat Sal with his feet up on my coffee table, sipping on espresso from the machine that Sugar had bought me.

"You're early." I said, and he shrugged.

"I'm on time. You could learn a thing or two about that."

Rob snorted and then put his hand out.

He and Sal did the pleasantry thing while I kicked off my heels and sat back in my recliner.

Taking my lead, Rob sat next to Sal, and his eyes trailed to whatever reality show Sal had been watching.

"So, talk." Rob said, looking back at me.

"You were right about her." I said, and he nodded but didn't respond. "Last night, she um...offered me drugs." Sal was looking at me now, and then he glanced up at the smoke detector, and then a memory came back to me...of Sandra putting cameras up.

I looked back, and the little light blinked.

"What?" Rob asked.

"Cameras." I said. "My sister."

"That's invasive. Want me to take them down?" He asked, looking amused.

"Nah, keeps me accountable."

"Accountability, huh? That why you had a sleepover in the living room with Walker?"

"It is. I didn't use. I just called W-Walker. She reamed me out about my choices and the part I play in my downfall."

"Good. I like her. She's got a good head on her shoulders."

"I think so."

"So, I was right, now what?"

"Well, before all of this, I had plans for you...for your f-future."

"Okay?"

"Relax, drink up." I said he took a long drink from his coffee (if you could call it that).

"What about my future?"

I put the manila folder on the coffee table and shoved at Sal's feet. He glared but put his feet on the floor.

"So, I'm starting a property management company. I want to have oversight on all my properties, and I want you to be a part of that. In fact, I'd like you to run it. I need more than a super. I need someone who will look after e-everything. At times you'll need to come to the city and look after those properties. Since your daughter and grandkids are there, it gives you plenty of reasons to visit. It will be covered under company expenses. You'll have a s-salary and benefits. You can go to Chicago and set a schedule to check-in, or you can stay where you are."

"Wow, Santana, that's too much. I mean, I'm just a general contractor."

"And my dad, well, as close as I'm going to get. I lost my dad, and you lost your daughter...so, it only fits that we cement our family bond through our loss."

"What if you separate from Brittany for good?"

"That's why Sal is here. You'll be a partner, not my employee. If things get bad...you can dissolve and take half of the company. I want to make sure that you never have to rely on other people for work. If you need to cry all day, you can. This is the least I could do. Say you'll do it...please?"

"I'll have to talk to Susan."

"I already did. She's waiting for you to call her with your decision."

"This is amazing. I won't let you down."

"I know...will you be my dad again?"

I got the biggest bear hug in the world, and then he kissed the top of my head.

"Being your bonus dad is one the best things ever...just know this means I expect an awesome father's day gift."

"Noted."

I was hanging out with the kids while packing up my suitcase when there was a knock on the room door.

When I looked up, Susan was standing there, and then she moved over, and there was Mami, on her feet, looking at me with a glare.

"Oh no...what?"

"Susan tells me that you are taking this new friend of yours to New York to dangle in front of Brittany."

I raised my eyebrow, and from the corner of my eye, I could see Isaac drop his crinkly book and cross his arms.

"Oh Lord, this is adorable!" Susan snapped a picture of us both, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"She's helping me, Mami."

"In what ways?"

"She's married, and so am I." I tried to reason. "And even though they are b-babies, I'd rather not have this talk in front of my kids."

"If you haven't been doing anything with this woman, then it shouldn't matter if you have this talk in the middle of the street. I just feel left out of the loop." Her voice raised, and then she was crying.

Susan rubbed at her back, and then Isaac dropped his arms and began to pout.

"Stop, Mami. Nothing is going on. I'm going to the city to see if I can help B. We all know that I'm the only one who can...I w-would have gone sooner, but I needed to be here for the store opening."

"How will you explain this woman to her?"

"Don't worry about that. Walker is my friend."

"Okay, but you can't honestly tell me that you haven't been sleeping around." She whispered.

"I have been with two people in the three m-months that I've been here. Sugar and S-Sofia. I'm done with both of them."

"Sofia? Who is that?" Susan cut in. "When did that happen?"

I rubbed at the back of my neck. Rob had obviously kept his word and said nothing.

"L-Last week." I lied.

"Before or after you talked to my daughter?" Susan said, tears in her eyes now too.

"Af-After." I said, and she nodded. Then she looked around the room and then at me.

"Is your apartment finished yet?"

I was floored. Was Susan putting me out?

"Yes, just th-this week."

"You'll be moving back there when you get back from New York, right?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

"Good. It's probably best, all the way around."

The two moms left, and now I was crying.

"Mami, no cry." Isaac said, and I just bit my lip and tried to hold it in, but my son knew me well. He crawled closer and slipped his hand into mine. I looked into those eyes, Ian's eyes, and I whimpered. "No cry." He said again, and I nodded.

"Okay, Papa."

"Ma!" Daniela called from her playpen. I looked over, and she had something brown smeared on her face.

"Fuck." I muttered.

Or as B would say Poop explosion, and then I thought of how much this would make her giggle, so before I cleaned the shit off my daughter's face, I snapped a few pics.

Something in this was a metaphor. I put Isaac on my hip and then pulled the kid jail out of the room towards the bathroom. I could hear Susan and my mother crying in her bedroom. They were probably lamenting my existence.

I left the baby in the hall, letting her smear that shit wherever she wanted...fuck it. Isaac squealed when he saw that I was filling up the tub with bubbles.

"What on Earth?! Santana!" Susan called me from the other side of the baby's playpen.

"Hmm?"

"Do you see what she's doing?"

"Yup. Wanna take this kid while I deal with her?"

"No, I'll clean her up. At this rate, you'll get pinkeye and not be able to get to New York for Britt. Just give him his bubble bath. There's no distracting him." She said as she scrunched up her face at the baby. "Gladys, come help!"

Dear Henry,

I have never been more excited to get the fuck away from a group of people.

Currently, I am on a plane with Walker and my mini-me, who decided to put up a fuss about me leaving him.

Mami and Susan are going to take care of the baby all week long, which will definitely help with weening her. I'm nervous about the Brittany that I'll find in New York, and I'm terrified to admit to Doc that I nearly slipped.

Things with Sofia got cut quick when Z "caught" himself, warning her about me. How I'm crazy, I was an escort, I'd gotten spit-roasted between him and Ian. He just went in on how shitty I am as a human before I committed my life to Christ. She texted me this morning and told me that things weren't going to work out.

And honestly, I'm good with that. For once, my rep served me well.

Now with her out of the way, I can really try to help Britt out of this rut.

Isaac has been curled up in my lap, staring out of this window for twenty minutes, and it makes me emotional, soon enough he will be too big to sit on his Mami's lap like this.

So I need to be present.

Wish me luck, Hen. I think I'm going to need it.

-Santana