- Chimera of Life -
Story Five: Righteous Mirage
Chapter Nine By Heartfire~*~
"Jessie? Jessie are you here?"
He twirled the daffodil in his hands. He was so lost in his own world that he did not even hear that soft voice call his name.
"Jessie?"
'Could it be possible for a person to have feelings for another in such a short time of knowing that person?'
"Jessie?"
The pale petals reminded him so much of Dorothy's hair… Funny how nice he feels with the thought of having filled her mailbox with an almost everyday letter that was usually full of inconsequential stuff. He never expected a letter from her and he never received one… But that's all right… He was the one who promised… he was the one expected… Though through it all, every time he brought a pen to meet paper, he has this wonderful feeling and there was always something to write about.
"There you are!"
A shadow fell on him but his eyes didn't stray from the flower- "What the- hey!"
The daffodil was suddenly plucked from his hand and he stared up, eyes burning with anger, at the perpetrator.
"Onie! Give it back!"
The smile on Onie's lips disappeared at the sound of Jessie's low voice while Jess's eyes widened after he realized what he did. He stared, waiting for his friend's reaction and then slowly, Onie's lips parted into a half smile. Jessie left out the breath he was holding. Onie will not tell, he was sure about it.
"Don't worry… I won't tell… I knew you were hiding something…" A sigh escaped those suddenly sad lips just as the child's body dropped down to sit beside him. "This whole place is a lie… Everyone here is a lie… everything is a lie… everything… but these plants…"
"So you knew…" He shouldn't have been surprised. Onie was very sensitive. A mischievous sparkle lit in Jessie's eyes as his eyebrow rose in a quirky manner. "Why didn't you tell your father?"
A grin floated on those lips then quickly disappeared. "I don't have to tell my father everything… do I?"
Jess couldn't stop his laugh. "And here I was, lecturing you about being your own person."
"Actually… your lectures helped a lot… and…"
Jessie frowned as a dreamy look passed over that young face.
"Some other things…"
"Hmmm…" He was familiar with that face… He could be quite sure that the expression had been on his just a while ago.
"Jessie… I don't have any siblings to tell these things to… You're the only friend I have in this place… and well… I was just wondering… Is it possible to feel so much for someone in such a short time?"
Jess couldn't stop himself as he stared… then he shook his head as laughter left him… He was just asking the exact question to himself a while ago… and he came up with- "I don't know…"
The smile on Onie's lips disappeared. "Oh…" Those eyes wandered up into the blue sky, framed by mirrors. "I thought that maybe you'd know… That maybe you had brothers and sisters you lied that you didn't have… that maybe…" A sad sigh left those lips once again. "You know that I've never really been 'outside'… never been outside my father's eyes… I don't know what love is… I don't know if it's real… I'm just curious, that's all."
A frown appeared on Jess's face. Siblings… He has four older sisters… Four happily married sisters… What did he notice when they were in love? Laughter… That sparkle that shone… and lastly, their shrill shrieks when they fight. He looked at Onie and saw the difference from the person he knew almost more than three years ago, to the one who sat beside him… and he knew the answer. "You know… maybe it's possible…"
That rare smile lighted the quiet face once again, chocolate eyes lighted with life. "You think?"
Jess nodded. Their conversation had shed quite a light on his dark path… "Yeah… I think…"
Onie reached a hand to him, the daffodil, an offering.
'Dorothy…' Jess took the flower and the sad realization coursed through him. He had thought that it was just physical attraction… but no… He was in love with the enemy…
'Damn! I'm in a rut now…'
…
Her gold limousine passed the snow-covered park full of life by children and teens alike… By couples who held hands and by families who were walking together… She grew up in a world that knew snow for what they were. Water. Crystals… not magic… not happiness… She grew up in a world where love was a placebo… where culture and indifference reigned… talk the talk… walk the walk… wear the right clothes…
Her door opened and she stepped outside. The white flakes of snow fell on her furred hat and coat while some mingled with her hair and her eyes strayed once again to the direction of the park they had passed by…
Alone, she walked to her unlighted house and for a moment, she looked down at her brown coat and thought of brown eyes… Involuntarily, her hands went to her neck and wrapped her coat tighter around her. Warmth went through her and a wistful smile appeared on her face as she thought of an embrace.
Her doors opened the minute she stepped in front of her house…
"Good evenin', Ma'am."
"Melanie." Dorothy took her shoes off and almost smiled at the pressure taken away by those constraining shoes. "Was there any mail today?"
Melanie nodded as she took off Dorothy's fur coat and started rubbing off the snow. "Yes ma'am. It's on the letter bowl, and you have a delivery in the sitting room…"
She tried her best not to show her excitement to her servant… Actually, tried her best to tell herself not to be excited by a single papered letter. But when she turned around that corner that obstructed Melanie's view of her, she quickly went through the stack of mail, dropped them one by one on the floor and nearly cried with glee when she found that simple white envelope, addressed to her in that familiar handwriting.
She had given half the money Blake wanted her to donate and told him that she was going to think about giving him the other half- and more, if he but give her time…
Her excited hands opened the envelope as she walked to that ceiling high window that showed the soft, flowing snowflakes outside. How funny that only a few moments ago, she had told herself that she would be more mature and not… not be like this…
Dorothy,
You wouldn't believe this… but Onie told me that since I haven't been out of this place in four years - not counting the three days I spent with you- I'm entitled to ten days of vacation. There's a cottage in Hafford, Old France. I was wondering if you'd like to spend some time with me… I hope the flowers I sent along to persuade you made it.
-Jess
'Flowers?' She looked around the sitting room. She had forgotten that there was a delivery for… her…
Dorothy's breath caught in her throat as her eyes fell upon the snow-white roses and daffodils beautifully arranged in a wooden basket and enveloped in shimmering organza.
Her feet slowly brought her to her gift, placed upon her grand piano. Her hands unhurriedly pulled at the yellow ribbon that held the organza in place and when the ribbon was finally snatched away, the lace fell like a cloud on the polished wood. A small white envelope was in the middle, exactly where her other messages-in-flower-arrangements had been.
Nobody had to tell her what was written in the message within those folds. There was no question in her mind about what she would like to do… And as she held onto the unopened envelope, she walked to her phone. She opened the envelope and saw the dates… She dialed a number.
"Lerraine… cancel all my appointments for…"
…
"Stop here. I want to walk the rest of the way. Bring my bags to the front porch." She looked up at the dark, clear sky and saw the gentle white smoke, being blown by the wind. The mere fact that there was smoke coming out of the chimney had already told her that he was there.
"Yes ma'am."
The man did as he was told, then left after he received more money than he had expected. Money was the only truth in this world.
She sighed and a cloud escaped her lips. 'I'm here…' Her grip on the bag tightened. Butterflies appeared in her stomach once again, but this time, their fluttering was that of expectation instead of anxiety…
The cottage was well maintained… thick logs almost like that of a frontier cabin… warm yellow light spilled onto the snow outside the window and soft, upbeat music seeped to her ears.
Unconsciously, a hand went up to push back a stray lock of hair and to straighten her coat and hat… Then, after a minute of hesitation, her hand reached out for the door and knocked.
She heard a jarring noise of metal hitting something. Of small things falling down-
"Ow! Dammit! Shit!"
BLAG!
Dorothy winced as she heard more things fall down onto the floor. Suddenly, the door opened and the warm yellow light spilled over her. Dorothy's eyes widened… a hand went up to her lips… and then… her body started to shake and… uncontrolled laughter left her lips.
"Yeah… yeah… laugh… Nearly broke my neck back there, you know." Jess shook his leg to try to shake off the lights that were wrapped around it.
"What were you doing?" She thought that she had finally gotten a hold of herself but the moment she glanced at him again and saw the pine leaves that were sticking out of his hair, twigs on his clothes, Christmas lights wrapped around one leg, a potholder in his hand, and hooks hanging on the sleeves of his other arm… well…
Jess's pout disappeared into a smile while he watched Dorothy laugh. She's so beautiful when she does that and… she seemed so carefree every time… "I was trying to put up the Christmas decors."
"Christmas is a month away." Dorothy gasped in between laughter. How come laughter comes so easily whenever he's around?
"Yeah, exactly… no time." He stepped closer to her and her perfume hit him once again. Her hair was hidden under that fur hat, and her wonderful body under that thick coat. "Dorothy! It's nearly been five minutes!"
"Yes? And?" Her arms were wrapped around her waist and her stomach was aching. She hadn't laughed this hard since… She can't even remember! She tried to control her laughter and gave him a saucy look instead. "Your point?"
The tilt on his lips and the darkening in his eyes was her answer before she was suddenly encompassed in his embrace and kissed like there was no tomorrow. Small Christmas lights broke under their feet as they moved inside the house and then-
"Whoa!"
"Oh!"
She was suddenly pulled forward when Jessie stepped on a small ball decoration that made him lose his balance. Nobody could have stopped the fall and his back hit the floor while Dorothy fell on top of him.
His breath was snuffed out of his lungs. Dorothy tried to gather her wits around her. She looked up and saw his painful wince with eyes closed and nose scrunched up.
"Jess…? Jess? Are you alright?" Concern like she never had felt before overcame her and her hands went over his face and shoulders then back again. "Jess?"
"I'd been better…" He opened his eyes and saw how her arctic eyes showed a caring light. "But don't stop whatever it is you're doing."
Dorothy rolled her eyes then slapped his chest in frustration. "You… Don't you dare scare me like that again!"
"Hmmm. Maybe." He brought a hand around her waist and another to cup the back of her head then he turned and felt wonderful when he heard her startled gasp. She was under him now and it was a surprise that her hat hadn't fallen off… Well, he'd be given the pleasure of taking it off.
Her light gold hair spilled over his hands like a waterfall and he brushed away some stray strands from her face.
She didn't dare breathe… He was touching her so gently… so carefully… there was something about him that's so different…
"So… how have you been?" He brought a strand of hair over to one side and another from the opposite side to the other.
"So-so… What are you doing?" Dorothy frowned. He was playing with her hair.
He pushed himself back, only a couple of inches away and nodded. "I want to see you ruffled… you're too perfect sometimes."
Anger washed that warm feeling she had felt just a few moments ago and fire appeared in her eyes. "You-"
Whatever she was about to say was muffled when he pressed his lips to hers. "Now… Let's make that… a natural… ruffling…"
She tried so hard to keep her anger but it disappeared the moment his hands cupped one of her full, aching breasts and his lips soon followed. She had missed him… Missed his touch… his smell…
"Jess… the door is still… open…" The draft from outside ran over her suddenly naked body. It was a nice inconsistency, heat from his body and then a light cold breeze from the outside, but right now, she would just rather have his body. His heat. Though she couldn't be quite sure if the reason why she shivered was the cold air, or Jess…
"Oh… sorry…" He moved only a bit. Excruciating pleasure gathered in her body as he slid down her length, lips never straying away from her skin and breath whispering… the next thing she heard was the door, banging shut then he was back on top of her...
"Lazybones." Dorothy whispered as she arched to his kisses and touch.
"I know… and you like me for it…"
…
"What are these things?" Dorothy frowned at a box of seemingly shredded shiny silver paper. Jess walked from the kitchen to the living room… That was the third question in the span of… a couple of minutes! It made him wonder…
"Dorothy, have you ever decorated a tree before?"
She lifted her chin up even when she felt as if she had done something embarrassing. "No, I haven't."
Though they'd only spent a countable days together, he knew that look well… She was ready for battle… but he wasn't… He didn't want to fight her… and the mere fact that she had been deprived of tree decorating… He took the box from her hands then gently pulled her up from her position on the floor. "Well… I'm just going to have to teach you then." He wrapped an arm around her waist then kissed her forehead. "Come on into the kitchen and lets eat lunch…"
"It wasn't my fault, you know…" Why was she even explaining? Why couldn't she stop talking? "I'd just wake up one day and find a perfect tree in the middle of our hall…"
"Well… we've got… eight and a half days to make an imperfect tree look pleasant so, what's the rush…" He guided her to the table and made her sit then with flourish, brought a steaming pot of soup to the table.
Dorothy's stomach growled in anticipation as she caught a whiff of that wonderful aroma. "I didn't know you could cook."
"You never asked… besides, I like surprising you." He dropped a kiss on her hair then he poured some soup into her bowl.
"I noticed… not that I mind." Her lips tilted a bit… She really didn't mind. The ray of sunlight that spilled from the window in front of her made her look outside and she saw how the white snow look so thick against the glass.
Jess followed her gaze and smiled. "Nice, huh?"
"Yes… Snow is quite… lovely…" She tried to remind herself that they were just water crystals… but they seem different up here in the mountains.
Jess looked back at her and saw that ethereal beauty… not the physical but… the inside… The one that comes out whenever they were alone… He couldn't help himself when he reached out and touched her hand. These eight days would be the only time when he could make her feel what he feels… Who knew when he could ask for a time off to see her next? "You're lovely…"
She turned her head and saw how serious his eyes were and she suddenly felt heat creep to her cheeks… She suddenly couldn't meet his eyes… She heard those words before, but coming from him… it was different.
Jess experienced a complete… total meltdown as he watched that blush form on her white cheeks… His throat became parched and he had to swallow a couple of times before he could speak. "Dorothy… ever made love in the snow?"
That made her look at him with wide eyes. "No!" That slow… mischievous grin gradually came to his lips and she saw what he was planning through his chocolate brown eyes… It excited her… Her whole body became flushed with anticipation.
"Neither have I."
…
"Heh! We did a damn good job with that tree, huh?" Jess dropped the pail with crushed ice and wine to one side then gently placed the tray with a plate of lasagna.
Dorothy's eyes didn't leave the tree as she nodded. "Yes… we did…" It had felt so good when they finally stood back, holding hands, and Jess turned on the lights. The tree with broken twigs glowed with pride…
"Hey… food… time to eat, glutton." He finally realized what a large stomach Ms. Catalonia has… but he didn't care. He liked cooking for her and having his culinary skills be appreciated. Having four sisters did have its perks!
Dorothy walked towards Jessie and sat beside him on the sheepskin rug in front of the warm fireplace. "You know how to catch my attention, huh?"
"I hope so." Jess leaned down and gave a kiss on her neck, trying not to think of tomorrow-
"What time do you have to leave tomorrow?"
Jess's hands went limp on his side and a sigh escaped him before he moved away from her. The thing he had not wanted to think of was just verbalized by his special someone… "Eight in the morning… My flight is at ten…"
She nodded and tried not to let the sadness she could feel gnawing inside engulf her. "I guess that means I have to leave too…"
Jess shook his head and then placed his arm around her shoulders. "No… you can stay in here as long as you want. That is… if you want."
Dorothy frowned. "I… I thought…" She turned to face him. "This cottage wasn't rented?"
Jess gave a lopsided smile. "Er… no… Uhm… This cabin is…" He coughed out the last word. "Mine…"
"Yours…?" Her piercing eyes pinned him. She couldn't believe that he had let her inside something as personal as his… well… this!
Jess nodded, a bit embarrassed. "Yes… mine. And you're welcome to stay for as long as you want."
She still couldn't believe it! He didn't even know where she lives! His letters and deliveries were all forwarded from her office to her home. 'Why?' Why did he so welcomingly let her enter his… space?
"Hey… You're too quiet… how about if we eat, huh?"
Without anything else to say, she nodded.
He pulled her closer to his side, their backs against the sofa, and he baby fed her once again. It was a silent dinner… a comforting silence that had an edge with the knowledge that this was their last night. She poured wine into one glass and offered it to him.
"Jess… If you knew that you weren't going to spend Christmas here… why did you bother with the decorations?" When he didn't answer, she looked up and found him blushing, staring at the orange fire.
"I… uh… wanted to… uhm…" Jess cleared his throat.
Dorothy reached out and touched his hand. "You don't have to answer."
He smiled and shrugged. "No harm in answering that question…" He breathed in deeply. How would he phrase his answer? "I knew that Blake wouldn't let me out on Christmas… and I kind of… wanted to spend it with you…so…" He motioned to the whole place, decorated for the holidays.
She heard something snap and crackle… something break… something shatter…
Jess reached behind him and then took out a hand sized golden box with a single yellow ribbon as adornment. He's been itching to give that box to her since the day she arrived. "Here… this is for you."
She didn't know why her hands were shaking as she reached for the box… She didn't know why her eyes started to become unfocused… Dorothy glanced from the box then to Jess. "Jess… Have you forgotten? We're enemies…"
A finger traced the frame of her face… pushed back a lock of hair then firm lips pressed themselves onto her forehead. "No… I haven't forgotten… Just open it and… I hope you'll like it."
"I… I don't have anything for you…" She gently pulled away from his embrace and then stared at the box once again… It had been far too long since she had received a present from someone… she considered… special.
"Having you here is my Christmas present, Dorothy… Having you in my embrace…" He guided her body so her back would lean on his chest instead of the sofa. "And just here is enough…"
She was grateful he wasn't looking at her now because… now she realized what had shattered… Some had said that her heart was engulfed in ice… well… that ice wall had just been broken to a million pieces… Her vision blurred as… a tear, from the melted ice, fell down from her eyes… and then another…
"Aren't you going to open it?" Jess whispered in her ear.
Dorothy jerked a nod. "Yes… of course…" Her voice sounded hoarse as she tried to stop her tears. Tears… why now? Nobody had died… Or maybe… someone did…?
He had felt her tears fall on his arms and knew that she was crying… It only made him embrace her tighter… She was the kind of woman who never cries so easily… and having her cry right now… it tore at his heart and made it sing at the same time. "I'll close my eyes and you can tell me when." He knew she wouldn't want him to see her tears.
Silent thanks escaped her lips and she quickly wiped away her tears with the back of her hand. Once sure that her face was dry, she pulled the ribbon around the box and slowly opened them. Her eyes widened.
The gasp of surprise made Jess smile and he opened his eyes without her prompt. "Do you like it?"
"I… Jess… it's… beautiful!" She could only stare at the accessories set within the folds of white silk.
"No… you're beautiful…" He pressed his lips against her golden hair.
Simple and elegant… A gold necklace with a small daffodil… daffodil earrings and bracelet full of small daffodils that hung like charms… they weren't small and flat, rather, each was made with careful skill. The only thing missing was the ring… She could tell that these were specially ordered… Tears sprung in her eyes once again even when all she wanted to do was to smile.
"I… thank you…" She looked up and forced herself to stop crying… Everything was just different with him… He's different from anybody she knew… and yet there's no future for them… They were both spies. Enemies.
"Here… let me put that on you…" Jess gently took the necklace from the box in her hands and Dorothy leaned forward. Her hair created a wall around her face and she used that time to wipe away that fresh batch of tears. The cold feel of gold didn't last, but the heavy weight of the daffodil at the base of her throat did…
"I should give you something… I… I want to give you something." Panic started to run through her… She never receive presents without reason… without the giver expecting something to be given back…
Her nervous hands were stilled by Jess's stable ones and he made her lean against his chest once again. "If you really want to give me something… Just let me hold you until tomorrow and that'll be enough…" He was lying… It wasn't enough, but… he will bid his time…
Her panic subsided and the calm that seemed to be radiating from him engulfed her… How could an enemy be so giving? How could she let him into her heart? How? And yet, through it all, she feels protected and secure in his embrace…
She closed her eyes as realization cleared her muddled thoughts… Then, because she had wanted to say it but didn't know how… because she had wanted him to feel what she had grasped… she leaned to her side, tilted her head to his face, and guided his head down with her hand then kissed him softly.
'I love you… Jess…' She said it with her kiss… with her touch… A part of her moaned for her weakness yet a bigger part of her rejoiced with this emotion… and tonight, she listened to that part she had ignored so much in the past…