DIS-CLAY-MUH!!!: Alrighty everyone! We haven't updated in like a zillion
years! NO! Fifty-four years! Just cuz! Yes, our fic is very stupid and
random, but that's okay! We love you anyway, Hatori.
Now then, onto the story! Ichigo fell off that cliff she's been hanging off for fifty-four years because that Puchuu alien touched her with his beautiful pink nose that really doesn't exist! So Ichigo will not appear in the story any longer. Actually, my friend Shelby whom is playing Ichigo just decided she isn't going to work on this, so she stopped. Okay. As I said, ONTO THE STORY!!!
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Hatori: *makes his move* DIE SKYWALKA!!!!! *fires squirtgun*
Takei: *slow motion voice* Noooooooooooooooooooooo *is hit by tiny squirt of water and in slo-mo groans in pain and attempts to fly backward matrix- style except falls backward dramatically landing on his patooty.*
Hatori: Hn. *blows on the gun like on those old western movies* And that's why you don't mess with The Hump.
Brak's Dad: I'M THE HUMP!!!
Hatori: You WERE The Hump, you baka! *roars like a camel* But I am The Hump now!!!! Fuahahahahahaa!
Rei: *bursts out laughing*
Val: Y'know..not many people are gonna know what that is..I highly doubt our readers have seen that episode of The Brak Show..
Hatori: *roars like a camel* Oh well! Shut up!
Val: Fine..wait..why am I being the sensible one?! This is just creepy!
Hatori: Okay. Let's go home now everyone. Please.
Rei: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAokay.
~BACK AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE EVEN THOUGH HATORI WANTED TO GO TO HIS OWN HOUSE BUT WE DUN LISTEN TO HA'RI CUZ HE'S A SEAPONY AND I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT WHY WOULD YOU TRUST WHAT A SEAPONY SAYS?!~
Shigure: This has been a very eventful day.
Hatori: Yes, it has.
Everyone: *plops down on the sofa*
Val: Japanese houses don't HAVE sofas.
Rei: Shut up, Hatori, we don't care what you think.
Val: But I'm Val!
Rei: No you're not, you're Hatori.
Val: Okay. Fine. *changes her name to hatori*
Hatori: Behold my powerful new name! Fufufufufufufu!
Hatori: But MY name is Hatori.
Hatori: So? We're both named Hatori now. I like your name. It means Temple Pigeon.
Rei: ..I hate pigeons..
Hatori: But it will confuse and disorient the readers because they don't know which Hatori is talking.
Hatori: Oh well. I can trick them.
Hatori: We're probably already doing so. They probably don't even know who'se talknig right now.
Hatori: Well, if they paid attention, they'd know.
Hatori: Yeah, but Americans are stupid. They don't pay attention anyways.
Hatori: Yeah, but remember this is the worldwide web! It's not just Americans! There are British people reading this too! And Irish! TOP O' THE MORNING TO YOU LADDY!!!!!
Hatori: ...I see. Well then, ALL humans are stupid. If they speak and read English.
Hatori: That's racist! Hatori, you are SO going to jail for racismness!
Hatori: ..whatever.
~LITTLE POLICEMEN COME AND TAKE HA-SAN TO JAIL~
Kyo: You're like slowly making all the Sohmas disappear.
Hatori( is val, so we're just going to rename her Poe-chan for no reason): Who me? Why thank you, Mr. Sex Fiend.
Kyo: That wasn't meant as a complime---WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
Poe: A Sex Fiend.
Kyo: Why?
Poe: Watch episode three and be amazed.
Shigure: ^__^
Rei: This is getting to be a really dumb story. We need some sort of storyline.
Poe: OKAY! WATCH THIS! *twirls around really fast like a ice-skater-lady on her tippy-toe* ..how's THAT for action?
Rei: ..hn.
Hiro: That didn't make any sense.
Poe: SHUT UP SHEEP-BOY WHO WAS MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER JUST A FEW SECONDS AGO BUT NOW YOU YELLED AT ME SO I HATE YOU!!!!!
Hiro: ...but I didn't yell.
Rei: Shut up Sheepy, no one asked YOU to start talking. You just started talking for no reason whatsoever. STUPID SHEEP!!!
Poe: Yeah, who died and made you toushu?
Hiro: ..uh...right...I'll be going now.
Rei: Good.
Poe: NO!!! *grabs hiro and runs into other room with him*
Rei: ...
Poe: *comes back a few minutes later* ^__^
Rei: ..what did you do? Where's Hiro?
Poe: Aw don't worry, he went on one of his adventures down the drain.
Rei: Like Akito?
Poe: Preeeeecisely. ^^
Yuki: What? Akito went down the drain?
Poe: No. Of course not. Where'd you get an idea like that, you stupid rat?
Yuki: ..
Poe: *gasps* And why do you even care anyway?!!!!! *GASP* I see what's going on here! You're having a sexual relationship with Akito! THAT'S what you and him do in that little room he sets aside specially for you!
Yuki: ...what..o.o
Poe: HA! WE KNOW YOUR TRICKS AND WE KNOW YOUR SCHEMES, YUKI!!!
Yuki: Why would I...
Poe: WAIT A MINUTE!!!! YOU'RE HAVING A------MINE!!!! *attacks yuki and sends him down the drain*
Everyone: ...
Poe: That'll teach HIM not to doodle with MY Akito!
Rei: YOUR Akito?
Poe: MY Akito.
Shigure: ...*sighs* Another one down the drain.
Poe: I know, sad huh? Oh well. I guess you could say I'm helping make this world a better place!
Shigure: Yeah! No more Yuki! Err *cough cough* I mean how could you?!
Poe: *gasp* You too?! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY AKITO AWAY FROM ME AND MOLEST HIM LIKE THAT?!!! SHIGURE!!!!!!! *puts shigure down the drain*
Tohru: Oh my, I hope he didn't get torn to shreds by the garbage disposal!
Rei: I DO! I mean, *cough cough* that would be terrible!
Tohru: Should I hire a plumber?
Rei: No. Let's have Pennywise the dancing clown eat him.
Tohru: I think I should hire a plumber...
Poe: PLUMBER?!!! ALL RIGHT!! HIRE MARIO!!!!
Tohru: Oh, okay! ^^ *calls SUPA MARIO and has him come over*
Mario: *comes over riding Yoshi, who really isn't a green dinosaur but a MAGICAL SPOON CUSTOM-MADE BY SPIKE SPIEGEL!!*
Poe: Oooh, MARIO, sexeh...
Rei: ...this is disturbing..
Mario: YAAHAA! Itsa me, Mario! *jumps off "Yoshi" and explores the pipes*
Poe: THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!
Rei: ..why not?
Poe: BECAUSE MARIO WEARS OVERALLS AND WHEN YOU WEAR OVERALLS YOU CAN'T SEE THE BUTTCRACK LIKE YOU CAN ON EVERY OTHER PLUMBER IN THE WORLD!!!! WE MUST SEE MARIO'S SEXEH BUTTCRACK!!!!
Rei: ..I don't want to see anyone's sexeh buttcrack..
Mario: *digs deeper into the drain, but drops his wrench. He looks down into the ABYSS!!!!; there was a clown in the drain. Mario squinted his eyes and looked deeeeeeeeeeeeep down at the clown, and noticed he had a bunch of balloons, all colors, like gorgeous ripe fruit in one hand. In the other, he held Mario's wrench.*
Clown: Want your wrench, Mario? ^___^
Mario: *smiles back* I sure do.
Clown: That's GOOD! That's very good! Now how about a balloon?
Mario: Well...sure. *reaches forward into the drain and then draws his hand reluctantly back* I'm not supposed to take stuff from strangers, my mudder says so. ( yes, Mario lives with his mudder)
Clown: Very wise of your mudder. Very wise indeed. THEREFORE!!! I will introduce myself. I, Mario, am Mr. Bob Gray, also known as Pennywise the dancing clown. Pennywise, meet Mario Mario. Mario, meet Pennywise. And now we know each other. I'm not a stranger to you, and you're not a stranger to me. Kee-rect?
Poe: OH MY GOD!!!! THIS IS TOO MUCH LIKE THAT STEPHEN KING NOVEL "IT"!! HOLY CRAP!! THE ONE THAT REI IS READING!!!
Rei: Don't fall for it, Mario! Pennywise is gonna rip off your arm!
Val: Yeah! Oh, and by the way, IT does not belong to us, it belongs to Stephen King, so don't sue us.
Rei: DON'T DO IT MARIO!!!!
Mario: *giggles and ignores rei cuz he's an ass* Uhm, I guess so. *reaches forward and draws his hand back again* ..how did you get down there? In the drain?
Pennywise: The storm just bleeeew me away, it blew the whole circus away. Can you smell the circus, Mario?
Mario: No. But oh well. *giggles*
Pennywise: Want your wrench, Mario? I only repeat myself because you don't seem that eager. *holds up the wrench smiling*
Mario: Yes! *reaches down the drain for his wrench*
Pennywise: *SEIZES HIS ARM!!!* Yes, they float Mario. And when you're down here with me, you'll float too.
Mario: *giggles even though his arm is about to be ripped off* What floats?
Pennywise: I dunno, I'm just saying that cuz that's what it says in the book.
Mario: Oh. Okay.
Pennywise: *pulls really hard and MA-LISH-ISH-LY grins*
Mario: *giggles in agony as his shoulder socks against the metal sink*
Pennywise: Everything down here floats, MAH-REE-OH.
Mario: *arm is ripped off. And Mario the plumber dies giggling*
Poe: ...okay, WHY are we making this copy off It?
Rei: We're not. It just so happens Shigure has a murderous clown in his drain. Kee-rect?
Pennywise: Ah, so your vocabulary has been converted to Pennywiseism?
Rei: YAY!
Pennywise: YAY!
Rei and Pennywise: *fly over the rainbow holding hands* YAAAAAAAY!
Poe: ..*hears a snap*
Rei: *has lost her arm* Yay! ^__^
Poe: Oh my god! REI ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!
Rei: *regrows her arm and disembowels Pennywise with a plastic spork* YAY!! ^_^
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Poe-chan: And so, another pointless chapter comes to a close. And all's well that ends well. And it seems that Hiro, Shigure, and Yuki went DOWN DA DRAIN and Pennywise ate them. But don't worry, there will be more chapters eventually. Yeah.
Rei: Yes. And I disemboweled Pennywise with a plastic spork.
Poe-chan: Yup. Okay. Toodleys!
Now then, onto the story! Ichigo fell off that cliff she's been hanging off for fifty-four years because that Puchuu alien touched her with his beautiful pink nose that really doesn't exist! So Ichigo will not appear in the story any longer. Actually, my friend Shelby whom is playing Ichigo just decided she isn't going to work on this, so she stopped. Okay. As I said, ONTO THE STORY!!!
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Hatori: *makes his move* DIE SKYWALKA!!!!! *fires squirtgun*
Takei: *slow motion voice* Noooooooooooooooooooooo *is hit by tiny squirt of water and in slo-mo groans in pain and attempts to fly backward matrix- style except falls backward dramatically landing on his patooty.*
Hatori: Hn. *blows on the gun like on those old western movies* And that's why you don't mess with The Hump.
Brak's Dad: I'M THE HUMP!!!
Hatori: You WERE The Hump, you baka! *roars like a camel* But I am The Hump now!!!! Fuahahahahahaa!
Rei: *bursts out laughing*
Val: Y'know..not many people are gonna know what that is..I highly doubt our readers have seen that episode of The Brak Show..
Hatori: *roars like a camel* Oh well! Shut up!
Val: Fine..wait..why am I being the sensible one?! This is just creepy!
Hatori: Okay. Let's go home now everyone. Please.
Rei: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAokay.
~BACK AT SHIGURE'S HOUSE EVEN THOUGH HATORI WANTED TO GO TO HIS OWN HOUSE BUT WE DUN LISTEN TO HA'RI CUZ HE'S A SEAPONY AND I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT WHY WOULD YOU TRUST WHAT A SEAPONY SAYS?!~
Shigure: This has been a very eventful day.
Hatori: Yes, it has.
Everyone: *plops down on the sofa*
Val: Japanese houses don't HAVE sofas.
Rei: Shut up, Hatori, we don't care what you think.
Val: But I'm Val!
Rei: No you're not, you're Hatori.
Val: Okay. Fine. *changes her name to hatori*
Hatori: Behold my powerful new name! Fufufufufufufu!
Hatori: But MY name is Hatori.
Hatori: So? We're both named Hatori now. I like your name. It means Temple Pigeon.
Rei: ..I hate pigeons..
Hatori: But it will confuse and disorient the readers because they don't know which Hatori is talking.
Hatori: Oh well. I can trick them.
Hatori: We're probably already doing so. They probably don't even know who'se talknig right now.
Hatori: Well, if they paid attention, they'd know.
Hatori: Yeah, but Americans are stupid. They don't pay attention anyways.
Hatori: Yeah, but remember this is the worldwide web! It's not just Americans! There are British people reading this too! And Irish! TOP O' THE MORNING TO YOU LADDY!!!!!
Hatori: ...I see. Well then, ALL humans are stupid. If they speak and read English.
Hatori: That's racist! Hatori, you are SO going to jail for racismness!
Hatori: ..whatever.
~LITTLE POLICEMEN COME AND TAKE HA-SAN TO JAIL~
Kyo: You're like slowly making all the Sohmas disappear.
Hatori( is val, so we're just going to rename her Poe-chan for no reason): Who me? Why thank you, Mr. Sex Fiend.
Kyo: That wasn't meant as a complime---WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
Poe: A Sex Fiend.
Kyo: Why?
Poe: Watch episode three and be amazed.
Shigure: ^__^
Rei: This is getting to be a really dumb story. We need some sort of storyline.
Poe: OKAY! WATCH THIS! *twirls around really fast like a ice-skater-lady on her tippy-toe* ..how's THAT for action?
Rei: ..hn.
Hiro: That didn't make any sense.
Poe: SHUT UP SHEEP-BOY WHO WAS MY SECOND FAVORITE CHARACTER JUST A FEW SECONDS AGO BUT NOW YOU YELLED AT ME SO I HATE YOU!!!!!
Hiro: ...but I didn't yell.
Rei: Shut up Sheepy, no one asked YOU to start talking. You just started talking for no reason whatsoever. STUPID SHEEP!!!
Poe: Yeah, who died and made you toushu?
Hiro: ..uh...right...I'll be going now.
Rei: Good.
Poe: NO!!! *grabs hiro and runs into other room with him*
Rei: ...
Poe: *comes back a few minutes later* ^__^
Rei: ..what did you do? Where's Hiro?
Poe: Aw don't worry, he went on one of his adventures down the drain.
Rei: Like Akito?
Poe: Preeeeecisely. ^^
Yuki: What? Akito went down the drain?
Poe: No. Of course not. Where'd you get an idea like that, you stupid rat?
Yuki: ..
Poe: *gasps* And why do you even care anyway?!!!!! *GASP* I see what's going on here! You're having a sexual relationship with Akito! THAT'S what you and him do in that little room he sets aside specially for you!
Yuki: ...what..o.o
Poe: HA! WE KNOW YOUR TRICKS AND WE KNOW YOUR SCHEMES, YUKI!!!
Yuki: Why would I...
Poe: WAIT A MINUTE!!!! YOU'RE HAVING A------MINE!!!! *attacks yuki and sends him down the drain*
Everyone: ...
Poe: That'll teach HIM not to doodle with MY Akito!
Rei: YOUR Akito?
Poe: MY Akito.
Shigure: ...*sighs* Another one down the drain.
Poe: I know, sad huh? Oh well. I guess you could say I'm helping make this world a better place!
Shigure: Yeah! No more Yuki! Err *cough cough* I mean how could you?!
Poe: *gasp* You too?! HOW DARE YOU TAKE MY AKITO AWAY FROM ME AND MOLEST HIM LIKE THAT?!!! SHIGURE!!!!!!! *puts shigure down the drain*
Tohru: Oh my, I hope he didn't get torn to shreds by the garbage disposal!
Rei: I DO! I mean, *cough cough* that would be terrible!
Tohru: Should I hire a plumber?
Rei: No. Let's have Pennywise the dancing clown eat him.
Tohru: I think I should hire a plumber...
Poe: PLUMBER?!!! ALL RIGHT!! HIRE MARIO!!!!
Tohru: Oh, okay! ^^ *calls SUPA MARIO and has him come over*
Mario: *comes over riding Yoshi, who really isn't a green dinosaur but a MAGICAL SPOON CUSTOM-MADE BY SPIKE SPIEGEL!!*
Poe: Oooh, MARIO, sexeh...
Rei: ...this is disturbing..
Mario: YAAHAA! Itsa me, Mario! *jumps off "Yoshi" and explores the pipes*
Poe: THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!
Rei: ..why not?
Poe: BECAUSE MARIO WEARS OVERALLS AND WHEN YOU WEAR OVERALLS YOU CAN'T SEE THE BUTTCRACK LIKE YOU CAN ON EVERY OTHER PLUMBER IN THE WORLD!!!! WE MUST SEE MARIO'S SEXEH BUTTCRACK!!!!
Rei: ..I don't want to see anyone's sexeh buttcrack..
Mario: *digs deeper into the drain, but drops his wrench. He looks down into the ABYSS!!!!; there was a clown in the drain. Mario squinted his eyes and looked deeeeeeeeeeeeep down at the clown, and noticed he had a bunch of balloons, all colors, like gorgeous ripe fruit in one hand. In the other, he held Mario's wrench.*
Clown: Want your wrench, Mario? ^___^
Mario: *smiles back* I sure do.
Clown: That's GOOD! That's very good! Now how about a balloon?
Mario: Well...sure. *reaches forward into the drain and then draws his hand reluctantly back* I'm not supposed to take stuff from strangers, my mudder says so. ( yes, Mario lives with his mudder)
Clown: Very wise of your mudder. Very wise indeed. THEREFORE!!! I will introduce myself. I, Mario, am Mr. Bob Gray, also known as Pennywise the dancing clown. Pennywise, meet Mario Mario. Mario, meet Pennywise. And now we know each other. I'm not a stranger to you, and you're not a stranger to me. Kee-rect?
Poe: OH MY GOD!!!! THIS IS TOO MUCH LIKE THAT STEPHEN KING NOVEL "IT"!! HOLY CRAP!! THE ONE THAT REI IS READING!!!
Rei: Don't fall for it, Mario! Pennywise is gonna rip off your arm!
Val: Yeah! Oh, and by the way, IT does not belong to us, it belongs to Stephen King, so don't sue us.
Rei: DON'T DO IT MARIO!!!!
Mario: *giggles and ignores rei cuz he's an ass* Uhm, I guess so. *reaches forward and draws his hand back again* ..how did you get down there? In the drain?
Pennywise: The storm just bleeeew me away, it blew the whole circus away. Can you smell the circus, Mario?
Mario: No. But oh well. *giggles*
Pennywise: Want your wrench, Mario? I only repeat myself because you don't seem that eager. *holds up the wrench smiling*
Mario: Yes! *reaches down the drain for his wrench*
Pennywise: *SEIZES HIS ARM!!!* Yes, they float Mario. And when you're down here with me, you'll float too.
Mario: *giggles even though his arm is about to be ripped off* What floats?
Pennywise: I dunno, I'm just saying that cuz that's what it says in the book.
Mario: Oh. Okay.
Pennywise: *pulls really hard and MA-LISH-ISH-LY grins*
Mario: *giggles in agony as his shoulder socks against the metal sink*
Pennywise: Everything down here floats, MAH-REE-OH.
Mario: *arm is ripped off. And Mario the plumber dies giggling*
Poe: ...okay, WHY are we making this copy off It?
Rei: We're not. It just so happens Shigure has a murderous clown in his drain. Kee-rect?
Pennywise: Ah, so your vocabulary has been converted to Pennywiseism?
Rei: YAY!
Pennywise: YAY!
Rei and Pennywise: *fly over the rainbow holding hands* YAAAAAAAY!
Poe: ..*hears a snap*
Rei: *has lost her arm* Yay! ^__^
Poe: Oh my god! REI ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?!
Rei: *regrows her arm and disembowels Pennywise with a plastic spork* YAY!! ^_^
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Poe-chan: And so, another pointless chapter comes to a close. And all's well that ends well. And it seems that Hiro, Shigure, and Yuki went DOWN DA DRAIN and Pennywise ate them. But don't worry, there will be more chapters eventually. Yeah.
Rei: Yes. And I disemboweled Pennywise with a plastic spork.
Poe-chan: Yup. Okay. Toodleys!