Angelic Assignment


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Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura's characters, unfortunately. *tear*

Authoress Ramble: *sad sigh* Well, I amazingly felt like writing tonight. You see, for the last few days I have just been so ... sad. I'm horribly worried about my boyfriend. He got so depressed that he had to be admitted into the hospital, and I know nothing of his welfare and haven't heard from him since it happened. I miss him terribly and the worry is consuming me. I was shaking earlier and at once point felt so weak that I could hardly stand. The opening to this chapter is thus rather sad ... a lot of it is what Sakura and I both feel. And also, her memories of being with Kenji are memories that I have of being with Ryan. Please pray for him, and hope that he'll be better soon even though you don't know him. I'd be really grateful if you could do that.

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That boy is quite possibly the most infuriating person I have ever met, Sakura thought idlely, clutching her hand into a fist but avoiding any other sort of movement. She was lying on her back on her bed, her arms thrown over her head. She was too comfortable to summon true anger, and thus her thoughts were calmer than they might have otherwise been.

She sighed, closing her eyes. This felt so nice; the bed was so comfortable. She allowed her body to relax as her breathing slowly became steady.

He is so .. frustrating, she thought, sighing again. I don't know how to deal with people like him. I know he needs help, but he makes it painfully obvious that he doesn't want help from anyone. He's so rude, so uptight .. so unlike ..

Her thoughts paused at this as her heart skipped a beat. She moaned, turning onto her side as she closed her eyes tightly, trying to block tears from falling. She could feel them building up behind her eyelids. The salty liquid stung her eyes as sighed once again.

So unlike Kenji, her mind finished numbly. Her lips trembled as she thought through the list of his characteristics ... kind-hearted, fun to be around, affectionate, gentle, easy-going, always laid-back and relaxed, always ready to have a good time, always ready to listen to everyone he cared about ...

Words seem so meaningless sometimes, Sakura thought numbly. Yes, all these things described Kenji, but they weren't him. She tried to recall conversations they had once had, but she came up with little, her mind blurring when it came to remembering his words, thus proving her thought that words meant little.

She bit her bottom lip as wordless memories flooded her. The images that filled her mind had never seemed so precious as they were taking place. They had become blurry and short, these memories, but some moments were clear. Lying on the mattress of the pull-out couch in his house's guestroom, still tangled in the sheets as he lied down next to her, talking with her, though she could no longer remember the words. She could remember the feeling of his warm shirt under her fingertips, however. The way she felt as she laid her head on his chest.

She remembered kissing him in his room, the window behind his face. She raised her hand to her lips, knowing that he had kissed them more times than she could count. She blinked back the tears; it was difficult to recall the sensation of his lips on hers ... she longed to experience it again, to remind herself.

He's so far away, Sakura thought mournfully, the tears falling easily now. What was he doing now, she wondered? The thought brought pain to her heart, her chest tightening in unison with her throat. Her tears were wet on her warm cheeks, sliding down them slowly.

She would never know. She would never be able to know what he was doing, what he was thinking, the way he felt ever again, at least until they met in death. For years, she knew, she was damned to being able only to wonder. It would torture her.

She only had the memories now. Her throat tighted again as she thought of the way he had suddenly turned to her as the movie ended, the two of them sitting close to one another on the couch. He had strattled her thighs and looked into her eyes, telling her that each day he spent with her, he loved her more. She could not remember if they kissed then, but she did remember the way she had felt- breathless. The world had stilled as she drew her breath, happiness filling her. She was loved in return, and nothing else mattered.

And now, he was gone. No matter how much she longed to reach out and stroke his cheek, wrap her arms around his waist and bury her face in his chest, he would be far from her.

No one could understand how she felt, she mused. How it felt to be seperated from the person you loved so suddenly, just when everything was becoming so perfect. Just five minutes, her mind screamed. Let me be with him for just that long, long enough to kiss him and touch him and tell him everything in three simple words ...

Sakura cried out, burying her tear-streaked face into her pillow. She could not torture herself with these thoughts now. She had to focus them on a stranger instead, a stranger who had treated her horribly just a few hours before.

He wanted to die, her mind stated, and idly she wondered if she, were she not dead already, would want to die right now, too. Did he feel as much pain as she did right now? Did he cry on his own bed the way she was right now, torturing himself with his longings and cruel memories?

She blinked, suddenly understanding. He must be tortured by something, too.

She whimpered as guilt overwhelmed her. She had made a mistake in walking out on him so harshly. Sure, he was cold, rude, perhaps even cruel ... but in at least one way, they were alike. Abandoning him now would be like abandoning herself.

She brushed aside her tears with the back of her hand, resolving to help him in any way she could. She would save him. She would complete her assignment with pride, and she would do this for one simple reason.

Because she understood.

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As Sakura sobbed on her bed, Syaoran paced his large room, his mind racing. He eventually chose to sit at the chair in front of his desk, leaning forward onto it and burying his face in his crossed arms.

He couldn't explain why, but for some reason he felt consumingly guilty. She had been kind enough to return his wallet, which he knew was filled with several hundred dollars. Any other person would have pocketed the money and thrown it in the nearest dumpster, but not her. She was some sort of saint, and as far as he was concerned, he had just lit a match and thrown it at Joan of Ark.

He remembered her warm, innocent smile. She'd apologized profusely for the coffee incidient; he should have just fucking let it go. But no, he had treated her like crap instead. He had let his grudge consume him. Bitterness and anger was ruining his life once again, wasn't it?

I threw her in the fucking pool, he spoke out loud, groaning. She would hate him now, he knew. She was a stranger to him, and chances were he'd never meet her again, but despite this, knowing that she despised him upset him.

He was attractive, he knew. Maybe if he had come onto her instead of insulting and angering her, he could have asked her out, he mused. He paused in his thinking- no, no, he probably wouldn't have had the courage to do that. But maybe ... the maybe haunted him. She had been so beautiful, especially when she was dripped wet.

He grinned, letting his mind pause on his image. Even when she was furious, she radiated a strange invisible glow. She didn't seem to him to be a normal girl, though he barely knew her. She seemed ... unique.

Syaoran blinked, suddenly shaking his head.

You shouldn't think of her like that, his mind growled. She was just some girl ... probably just one of them. She hates you, remember? Exactly like just about everyone else does ... don't glorify her. You don't know her. So what if she was a little pretty ... let it fucking go.

He sighed. Maybe she wasn't just like everyone else, though. Maybe she was different, like him. Maybe she would have ...

Maybe I could stop by the coffee shop in a few days, he mused numbly, ignoring the angry voice in his head. I could catch her working and apologize for treating her like shit. Maybe she'd forgive me ... she might ... she did return my wallet ... she must be really freakin' nice ...

He frowned at this thought, however. No, he doubted he had courage enough to actually seek her out.

Just get over it, his mind commanded him. You'll probably never see her again. Just forget about it and her.

Syaoran thought, agreeing with himself. I'll never see her again, so I should just forget the hell about it.

He sighed, pulling his shirt over his head. He would do just that; forget about her. But if he did see her again, he mused, he would apologize or something. Just to make that forgetting a little bit easier. Guilt wouldn't help him any.

He removed his shoes, socks and pants next, stripping down to his green plaid boxers. He walked over to his bed, slipping between the green sheets and reaching over to flip off his lamp.

School tommorrow, he remembered, groaning. He had worse things to deal with than guilt born from an unlucky brush with a stranger, however beautiful and memorable she seemed to be.

He settled into bed, rolling onto his side before falling into a dreamless sleep.

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Sakura groaned at the loud ringing noise, holding her pillow over her head until she surrendered, clumsily getting out of bed and shutting the annoying alarm clock off.

Six thirty?, she thought, groaning. She didn't remember setting the alarm clock last night. She looked down at herself; she was still dressed in the clothes she had worn yesterday. She must have fallen asleep on her bed while she was thinking .. and crying.

Well, whatever, Sakura thought sleepily. I'm going back to sleep.

She walked lazily back over to her bed and was about to lay down when she suddenly remembered: it was Monday. She had to go to school!

she muttered, dragging her tired body over to the closet. She pulled the school uniform out of it and put it on sleepily. The dark green pleated skirt flattered her curves and revealed her long, pale legs teasingly, though the white top did little for her breasts. All in all, however, the uniform complimented her.

Some angel I am, she groaned out loud as she slipped on a pair of white socks. She felt dead-tired and lazy, and going to school seemed more like going to Hell than what it actually was.

She began to wake up and thus cheer up as she combed her long hair, however, splashing cold water on her face to speed up the process. She had a blueberry muffin for breakfast, which she had found in a well-stocked kitchen cabinet (Bless you, Eriol!, she thought merrily as she chewed) and had headed out the door after throwing together a quick lunch for herself.

She asked some bewildered pedestrians on the street directions to the school, and ignoring their confused stares after her, she found it without much trouble. It was a large red brick building with a flat roof and three stories, and on first glance, it seemed a pleasant enough place to attend school. Sakura smiled as she noticed large green playing fields and picnic tables near the back of the school that were surrounded by trees with full green foliage.

Yes, she mused ... this was nice.

She walked through one of the school's four sets of double doors, finding and entering the school office. She told the secretary her name with a smile, explaining that she was a new student. She received her sceduale and directions to her first class without much fuss.

Sakura thought, eying her schedule. So I'm headed to room 17-D ... ugh, math! What a wonderful way to start the day.

She sighed; what poor luck. What did an angel need math for, anyway?

Within five minutes she found classroom 17-D, trudging toward it as slowly as possible.

She slid open the door, blushing as she stepped inside it. The teacher paused in writing on the chalkboard, looking over toward her with a frown and then, a moment later, a smile. The students all stared at her with bewildered expressions.

the teacher said, gesturing for her to come in further. She did so, sliding the door closed behind her. You must be our new student, Sakura Koikomoru.

she answered shyly, blushing as she looked over the class. It's so nice to meet you, everyone ..

I'm Mr. Tetsumo, the teacher said with a grin. I'm pleased to have you join my class. Please, take a seat .. hmm .. next to Chihiro, there in the back of the room.

It's nice to meet you, Sakura answered him with a short bow. She then walked to her seat, blushing under the heavy stares of her classmates. A girl with long black hair and dark ruby eyes met her eyes and smiled, and Sakura smiled back at her distractedly, suddenly very nervous.

She turned away from her, and it was then that she saw him.

Syaoran Li, sitting two rows across from her. His amber eyes were locked on her, his jaw dropped. She bit her bottom lip shyly, avoiding his gaze as she sat down.

Heh, I should have expected this, Sakura thought, laughing at herself nervously. Why else would I be attending this school? He is the only reason I am even here ...

The teacher returned to the blackboard and continued writing out complex math equations on it. Sakura blinked, her head swimming; she hated math. She had never been able to understand it.

For this and one other reason, she payed very little attention to Mr. Tetsumo. The other reason was that Syaoran, two rows away from her, was staring at her with cold, confused eyes. Sakura stared ahead nervously, trying to avoid his gaze. She would have to figure out how to approach him later.

The rest of the class passed slowly for Sakura, who was both bored by the material and horribly distracted by Syaoran's glares in her direction. She sighed with relief when the bell rang.

Scrambling for her things, she rushed out of the door as quickly as she could manage, avoiding Syaoran like the plague. Luckily for her, he did not apporach her then; she wasn't prepared for that particular conversation yet, and he hadn't yet summoned up enough nerve to talk with her.

She rushed to her next class, science, which she did not share with him. In fact, she did not share her next two classes with him, either. This had made her sigh with relief; she didn't think she was quite ready to face him yet.

And so it was that by lunch, she was walking on eggshells, incredibly nervous at the idea of approaching Syaoran. She knew that she had to, however; how else was she going to get close to him? She had to break the ice.

If only I could find him, she muttered to herself. As it was a nice day, everyone was enjoying their lunch period outside on the picnic tables, but as she looked around, she could find Syaoran nowhere. She sighed; it would have to wait, at least until she finished eating her lunch.

Sakura found an empty picnic table and settled herself at it, opening her lunch and eating her food slowly. She was just biting into her red apple when her eyes widened in shock; she had spotted him.

And he was walking straight toward her.

She gulped, staring down at her lunch timidly until he was near; she didn't want to be caught staring. She looked up when his shadow crossed the surface of her picnic table, darkening her food.

she said simply, looking up into cold amber eyes. He abruptly took a seat across from her, resting his arms on the picnic table. The sounds of all of the other students chatting happily filled the air, though the two of them could hear nothing but the silence that had fallen between them.

You're the coffee girl, he said in shock, staring at her openly, though he did not appear to be pleased at having found her. I thought I would never see you again, he continued numbly.

Maybe you were just hoping you wouldn't, Sakura snapped, immediately chastizing herself. That was not what she had meant to say! Damn it, she was only pushing him away further ... she had to be approachable and kind ...

Syaoran sighed, adverting his eyes.

he said, slightly annoying. I know you hate me. And I deserve it, I realize that, okay? I only came over here to apologize. I treated you like shit and you in no way deserved it. I should have been grateful to you for returning my wallet and been more ... I should have just forgot the coffee thing but I let my mood control me. Okay?

Sakura stared at him in amazement. All this time, she had been wondering how on Earth she was going to get him to not hate her, but it seemed that she wouldn't have to. She had never expected him to apologize.

I don't hate you, was the only thing she could manage to say. She took in a deep breath as Syaoran stared back at her in surprise.

he said, obviously shocked. He had not expected this. He had only wanted to rid himself of the guilt that had been eating away at him; he didn't expect her to actually hate him any less for it.

I said that I don't hate you, Sakura repeated. I mean, you're apologizing to me. I admit that it's a surprise, but ... well ... you are apologizing, aren't you?

Syaoran said, still stunned. This girl was unbelievable- no one was this freakin' nice. Maybe she was up to something.

I guess so, he said, nearly growling. Sakura frowned at his sudden hostility, but she was a patient person. She smiled; that was good enough for her.

I accept your apology, she said, feeling relieved that he had essentially broken the ice for her. I hope that we can be friends.

Syaoran said suspicously. This girl would probably be immediately snatched up by the crowd of snotty, preppy bitches he hated ... she would be rejecting him soon enough. She must just be saying that to be nice to him ... there couldn't be much more to it than that. Maybe she'd already grasped the fact that he ate alone and had no friends and thus, being the overly nice person she was, felt sorry for him and was offering him a sympathy friendship.

Yes, friends, Sakura answered, oblivious to all of his suspicions. You can start by eating lunch with me, if you want to.

Syaoran considered this, eying her carefully, looking her over for any sign of sarcasm or pity. He found none, but still ... there had to be something beyond that cheerful smile of hers. Some sneaky alternative reason. He mentally shook his head. No .. he couldn't take the chance of being rejected again.

I don't think so, he said coldly. Maybe some other time. I just wanted to clear my conscience.

He glared at her suspicously, and with that he stood and returned to his own empty picnic table on the other side of the lawn, disappearing into the crowds of students and out of her sight.

Sakura frowned, not understanding what had just happened. It had been going so well ...

She sighed; she would need to confront him later, she supposed. For now, however, she was left alone to her thoughts. She picked up her shiny red apple once again and took a healthy bite, disappointed that such an optomistic first step toward friendship had ended so crudely.

A few minutes later, a shadow once again paused over her picnic table. She looked up hopefully, expecting it to be Syaoran; perhaps he had reconsidered. She blinked in surprise; it was not Syaoran.

A girl with long, silky black hair and flashing ruby eyes was staring down at her, a sly smile on her face. She sat down at the picnic table confidently, clearly not nervous around this new girl she did not know.

she purred, leaning forward slightly.

Sakura said cheerfully, albeit bewilderedly. My name is Sakura Koikomoru ... I'm new at this school.

I know that already, the ruby-eyed girl said with a grin. You may call me Meiling.

Sakura repeated with a smile. It's very nice to meet you.

The same to you, the girl replied easily. I noticed that Syaoran Li was just over here chatting with you. I thought I would come over and warn you about him.

Warn me about him?, Sakura questioned, feeling not at all at ease. Meiling's red eyes flashed as she smirked.

You seem like such a sweet girl, she purred. I'm sure you plan to befriend him, don't you? Rescue him from eating alone everyday, from being ignored by everyone?

Someone ought to, Sakura said, suddenly suspicious of this girl. Her words did not seem kind at all, at least toward Syaoran. No one deserves to live that way, alone like that.

I'm just saying that Syaoran is treated like that for a reason, Meiling said innocently. He's a pretty fucked-up person. He doesn't like anyone, and in return, no one likes him.

What do you mean?, Sakura questioned with a frown. Meiling smiled, glad to have intrigued her.

He's always in fights, she said calmly. Most people stay away from him because they're afraid of him. The rest just don't like him, for whatever reasons.

Why does he get in fights?, Sakura asked, her frown deepening. Meiling frowned as well, sighing quietly as though the subject saddened her.

Meiling began, Either someone throws an insult at him and he blows up, or he'll insult someone he had a grudge against out of the blue and they'll attack him. Either way, he always seems to be fighting with someone. He usually wins, and I guess for that reason a lot of the boys hate him. No one likes to lose, you know.

I see, stated Sakura worriedly. Has anyone tried to befriend him before?

Not really, Meiling said easily. Like I said, a lot of people avoid him out of fear. Either that or they hate him for some reason ... or they're the friend or the girlfriend of one of his enemies ... or something. He isn't the kind of person you would want as a friend, anyway. No one wants to be friends with someone who is violent and cold.

Maybe he wouldn't be that way if he had friends, Sakura said defensively. Maybe what he needs is someone to look out for him, to care about him for once. He's a human being just like the rest of us are, and even if he doesn't show them, he has feelings just like we do! Have you ever considered how he feels?

Meiling said. Yes. A few of us do feel sorry for him.

That's not what I mean, Sakura said, sighing. He doesn't need pity. He needs a friend.

Meiling grinned at this, appearing slightly amused.

Sweetheart, what that boy needs is about twenty pills a day and a nice, long trip to the psychiatric ward, she purred. I've heard they can do wonders.

I don't really believe that strangers can truly help a stranger, no matter how much training and education they have, Sakura said with a sad smile. And I believe medications can only do so much. They can treat your mind, but they can't help to correct an aching, empty heart. What he needs is love.

Some people are just messed up, Meiling replied easily. And what they need is to be left alone. That's what they want.

I don't really believe that's what anyone wants, Sakura answered passionately. Meiling smiled at her, her ruby eyes flashing.

Well then, by all means, save him, she purred. Rescue him from the big, bad world of reality. One person can only do so much.

I don't intend to save him, Sakura growled, annoyed with her. She found her to be dispassionate and completely unempathetic toward Syaoran, which angered her. Why couldn't everyone just accept one another? I intend to help him save himself.

Meiling said, her smile suddenly disappearing. I wish you luck. You'll need it, Sakura.

She glared at the emerald-eyed girl and then smiled.

I'll see you around, she purred, standing and then turning, walking forward only to disappear into the crowd of students just as Syaoran had. Sakura sighed, taking another bite of her apple.

What a harsh girl, she thought sadly. It's as though she has no heart at all.

She took another bite of her apple, swallowing it slowly. Meiling was wrong. She would help Syaoran, and she would do it by befriending him. That's what he needed ... love and companionship.

If only I could get him to open up to me, Sakura thought. She sighed a second time. This would be a very long two weeks, but in the end, she knew that one of them would come out alive.

And it would be him.

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Well, hurray for the chapter being over. It's actually a few pages longer than usually ... heh, I guess I really got into this one.

If you liked it, please review. Reviews make me smile.

Thanks for reading, as always. Please remember to pray for Ryan to be better soon, if you could. Please ...