Issues/Hold On (Teyana Taylor)
Brittany's POV
I was more embarrassed than angry when I pulled the blanket over my head and decided to ignore my wife because I had fucked up; I planned to stay that way until she fell asleep, but she hadn't been drinking like I had, so I began to drift.
We were back at McKinley and had our pinkies linked while we walked to class together. She was sweet and perfect to me while being a major bitch to everyone else. No one knew we were sleeping together, and everything was perfect.
Only, she flinched sometimes when people said certain things, and she'd randomly burst into fits of rage. There was also the way that she'd verbally assault Quinn, and never once did Quinn really snap back at her unless provoked.
The dream began to turn into a nightmare, we were back there, but I knew everything I knew now.
I saw her for all the things she was hiding, and it made it more obvious what scared her, then suddenly, I saw things from her point of view. The world was more terrifying, and everyone thought I was Satan. I felt so alone, then I turned to the spaced-out Brittany beside me, the one who never really saw my pain, and I called out to her.
"Brittany?" But she didn't answer, and then I was being poked by everyone who passed, so I called to her again, "Brittany!"
I jerked when there was a hard poke to my side and opened my eyes.
Ana hovered above me with a sad smile.
"Hey." I felt breathless as I spoke, and she just gave me a half-smile.
"Britt, your phone rang a billion times. I answered it. It's Tony. He said it's important."
I took the phone from her, but I didn't put it to my ear; instead, I was looking into her eyes and trying to see the world through her eyes again.
She still had that sad, drowning feeling that I had in the dream. I could feel it now too.
"I'll be better. I see you, Santana, and I'm not going to stop."
Tears filled her eyes, and she nodded, swallowing hard. "See what he wants, and then I want to show you something." She looked at me with wide eyes and waited for me.
She was vulnerable, and I wasn't going to fuck up again.
If my dream version of her was even half as scared as she was in real life, then I had majorly screwed things up.
Brat didn't even fully define how entitled I was being.
"Tony?" I finally said into the phone.
"Britt! Hey, so change of plan, we will need you to come in this Friday instead around 8. Something came up."
"Oh...people get fired on Fridays. Is that what's happening?"
"Not if I can help it, B. I swear to you that this isn't about you getting fired. There was just an issue that needs to be dealt with first, and it's better if you're not here for it."
"He's back, isn't he?" I asked, and the line went silent. "Fuck, Tony, just tell me...is he back?"
"Yes."
"I'll see you on Friday."
"Britt, I-" I didn't even let him finish; instead, I hung up on him and turned towards my wife.
"What did you want to show me?"
Ana had been in the middle of pumping when she'd answered my phone. She turned the pump off and disconnected it. When she went to wipe her nipple, I swiped my finger across the tiny droplet and then sucked on my finger.
I grinned when Ana's face twisted up.
"Seriously, B?"
"What?"
"That's gross, don't you think?"
"No...I was curious what you tasted like."
"But you already know what I taste like." She winked at me. Her mood wasn't completely ruined, even now.
What had I done to deserve her?
"You're perfect, and I'm an idiot."
"I'm far from perfect, B."
I leaned in and whispered to her, "No one else is listening; it's okay for you to admit that you're perfect."
"Please, you know I like to widely tell people about my greatness, but after today, the way you made me feel...I don't feel so perfect." She adjusted her shirt and then pushed whips of hair from her face. She looked so vulnerable.
"Well, you are; I was the one being an entitled brat. I'm so sorry."
"Just maybe get it in check before you spazz on me; it would make all of this shit way easier."
"Noted."
"Good. What did Tony want?"
"Um...you're not going to like it."
"Grady is back; I kind of pieced that together."
"So did I. Tony wouldn't come right out and say it, which was annoying. They are dealing with him. First, I guess. Tony told me to steer clear until Friday morning."
"Oh, so that means you have time to help me around here?"
"Help you?"
"Well yeah, it's so empty...and plain. We need to make it feel like our home...yours and mine."
"You still want that?" I asked, and Ana smiled.
"Of course, as long as you stay sweet like this, we're good."
"I'll be better."
"Show me, don't tell me."
"Okay."
"Your words are as pretty as your face, B, but I need to see some action and not just sexual action...that's not something you're slacking at. I need more romance, more sweetness. I've had enough shitty partners in my life...I don't want another."
Santana's POV
She took my words to heart, and instead of feeding more bullshit about how she'd be better, she moved my pump from the bed and then took my hand.
"What did you want to show me."
I shuffled into my slippers and then pulled her out of bed.
"Have you given the elevator a chance?"
"No. It's one floor."
"I get that, but it came with the place and is helpful for people with disabilities...like Artie."
Realization dawned on her.
"Oh. I didn't think of that."
I opened the average-looking door, and the elevator doors slid open.
"Because of the kids, we need to be extra careful about locking this up when they're not around. I'm going to call a childproofing company tomorrow."
"That's a good idea."
I pulled her inside, and she immediately looked nervous.
"It's one floor, B. We won't plummet to our deaths."
"You don't know that." She whispered.
Once we were on the loft level, it was her pulling me out into the loft.
It was enormous. My piano was shoved by the window and was the only piece of furniture in the room.
"This is amazing."
"You said you wanted to show me something, but I've already seen this; you haven't."
I took her over to my piano, and then I let go of her hand and sat down.
The view of the Empire State Building took my breath away.
"Wow...that's amazing."
"It looks even better now with all the lights on." B said as she leaned against the glass.
I lifted the piano lid and then flexed my fingers before beginning to play.
"You're gonna play for me?"
"Actually, B...do you remember when you visited me in rehab for my birthday?"
She shifted in front of the piano, looking sad.
"Yeah, it wasn't my best day."
"I wrote you a song back then, and I wanted to play it for you."
"You wrote me a song?"
"Yup."
"Mind if I dance while you play?"
"Please?"
Watching Britt dance around the room in her socks, looking like an angel, calmed some of the anxiety that I was feeling.
Her dancing was effortless, and then I began to sing; her movements stopped, and she came closer.
I had closed my eyes at some point, and when I opened them, she was leaning over the top of the piano, watching me.
The attention only encouraged me to continue.
That night as we laid together, with our babies asleep in their rooms, Britt and I finally said the things we needed to say.
"Are you worried about Grady being back?" She asked me, and I rolled my eyes.
"No, he's just another asshole that's tried to tear us apart. Been there, done that, had a shitty time. Are you worried about him being here?"
She bit her lip, her hair glowing in the city lights as we lay facing each other with our legs intertwined.
"I'm scared of what he'll say to Frank and August. He has no problem lying to get his way, and he's so believable. He had me believing things about you and me that don't even make sense. He convinced me that our babies weren't ours but yours."
"Do you still feel that way? You can be honest with me...it's okay."
"I was there from the moment that Isaac took his first breath. I held them both through sleepless nights and most of their firsts. Those are my babies. I love them now and always, just like I will always love you, no matter what. Even if we ever give up on there being an us, I would never stop loving you. No one can change my mind. You're my person."
"Good." I let out a breath and wiped my eyes. She looked concerned, but I smiled at her, "I'm okay; I think I just really needed to hear you say that."
"I mean it, and I won't just tell you and stop there; I'm going to do something to show you how much I love you every day."
"Aww, B. I'll do my best to be worthy of your love."
"You forever win, Ana...the moment you let me be a mom to those kids, you won. You'll always be worthy of my love and devotion."
"You're turning me into a sappy puddle of mush." I said, my hormones surging.
"I'm sorry for thinking that Grady could ever love me better than you, I hate to say it, but I was an idiot. You mean so much to me, and I would rather be with you working through our issues than with his lies. You are my rock, Ana. My home, I don't want that to ever change."
"Pinky?" I held out my finger, and she linked hers, giving mine a squeeze.
"Do you forgive me?" She was so fucking beautiful, her eyes sparkling as she turned on her full fucking charm.
"I do, B. Just keep being this person...even if you're scared or worried, never stop being this person."
"Okay."
"Good."
We were back to communicating and connecting.
It was like being trapped in darkness with flashes of light and then suddenly seeing the real thing again. We'd been in this spot before, and I knew that it was still going to take a lot for us to both be able to say that we were healed, but at least we were headed in that direction.
Brittany's POV
I woke up in pain, my body sweating and cold.
My stomach twisted and tried to crawl up my throat and out of my mouth.
My legs were shaking after throwing up, so I crawled back to bed, but I didn't have the energy to pull myself up.
The room door opened. Ana walked in with Dani latched on; she looked like she was sleepwalking. She was so out of it that she nearly tripped over my legs.
"The fuck?"
"Hey." I muttered.
"Are you okay?"
"Help?"
She held the baby in one arm and held out the other for me. I'm not sure how she could stand firmly when I pulled myself up using her arm. I collapsed on the bed, and then her hand was on my forehead. Her brow got all worried.
"You're burning up."
"I'm cold." My teeth were chattering.
Without missing a beat, she got the temporal thermometer and rolled it over my head until it beeped.
"101. I'm going to get you some medicine. Don't move, missy." She winked and then left me there, all while breastfeeding.
My wife was an angel.
I drifted off, feeling super cold, and woke up to her tucking another blanket around me.
"Hey." My throat hurt now, and my voice was nearly gone.
"Hi babe, Quinn's here. She brought the car back and decided to hang for a bit."
"Go hang...I'll be okay."
She rolled her eyes and then sat on the bed next to me.
"No, she's going to help with the kids while I take care of you."
"Really?"
"Yup. Are you hungry?"
"A little."
"Good, can you sit up? I made you oatmeal, and I have medicine for you."
I loved when she took care of me, it was the only thing about being sick that rocked...my super hot nurse.
Even though I knew that there was no way that she could possibly have sat there all day long, each time that I woke up, there was Ana, with food or medicine. She even was ready with a bucket when the soup didn't sit well.
At one point, I had felt like my feet were ice blocks, and then I blinked, and I had on fuzzy socks.
Whatever I needed, she was there.
I couldn't have asked for more. She was perfect.
The pain in my head seemed to calm down, and my body seemed to finally get warm after an eternity, but I felt so clammy.
"B? I need to get you out of bed; I'm so sorry."
"Why?" I whimpered.
"You broke your fever, but you soaked the bed with your sweat...at least I hope it's sweat."
"Too weak." She rolled her eyes,
"Here, take my arm, just go easy on my wrist." When I reached for her, I could see that not only her wrist but her whole arm was turning blue.
"What happened?"
"Let me get you out of bed and into the tub first."
"Are we taking a bath?"
"No, B. You are going to take a bath, and I'm going to change the sheets."
"But...please?"
"I really wish I could, B...but I need to leave. Mami and Q are here to help you; I need to go to a meeting...like really bad. So I'm going to get you in the tub, change the sheets and then go to my meeting."
"Did something happen?"
"It's not a big deal, just know that I love you and all that sappy shit you said last night; I feel the same way."
She was near tears, and I could feel my anger trying to climb into control.
"Meds...need them."
"You took them; I mixed them with your oatmeal. Come on, hold on to me; you're shaking."
I wrapped my arm around her, and she winced, but she held my waist still.
"San, are you okay?" Quinn poked her head into the bathroom as Ana helped me sit down in hot water.
"Yeah, I um...I need to get her comfortable, then I'm g-going to change the sheets before I go."
"Don't worry about that. I'll change them."
She looked back at Q and then nodded.
"Can you ask my mom...to um...tell her I agree with her, okay?"
"Sure thing." Quinn caught my eyes, and something in them told me that she'd had my back today. "You look a bit better, B."
"I need to know what's going on."
"And you will. San, I'll be right back."
"Thanks, Q."
Santana's POV
I left Britt in the tub with calming music and then stood in the closet, trying to catch my breath.
Everything hurt, and all I wanted to do was cry, but I knew that would just aggravate my asthma more than the half pack of cigarettes I had smoked since the night before.
When I was in our bedroom, far enough away from B that she shouldn't hear me, I slid down the wall and buried my face against my knees.
"Oh, San. Did you tell her?"
I shook my head and tried to cry as quietly as I could.
"Nanita, there's no more milk left, and she's cry-" Mami started to say, and then I heard Daniela's whimper. I wiped my eyes and looked up at my daughter.
"I'll feed her."
"Can you handle it? I can just get your pump." Q offered.
"No...I probably n-need her as much as she n-needs me."
"We can go to the meeting tomorrow. I can stay tonight to help you."
"That's fine."
Mami handed Daniela to me like she was made of glass and then stood by waiting for me to get her latched on, but my daughter put her little hands on my face, staring into my eyes. As she stared, I realized that she had her father's eyes and the way she was looking at me was the same way that he did when he thought he'd gone too far.
I cried more, and she laid her head on my shoulder and kept rubbing whatever parts of me were in reach.
Mami and Quinn looked at us with pity or adoration until I glared. While Mami just rolled her eyes and made up an excuse to check in on Britt, Quinn sat on the bed she'd freshly made and folded her arms over her chest.
"Are you going to tell her tonight?"
"Yeah. I have to. I have no doubt that she'll find out anyone better from me. She's going to lose her mind."
"She better. Shit, I want to kill him."
"Get in line; Q. Pa is probably out now calling in favors."
"I can't believe he'd hurt you."
"After the way, he left Britt to fend for herself after he talked her into that abortion; I don't put anything past him."
"It's still not right."
"I know."
"Che-che?" Daniela said softly against my face like she was unsure of if it was okay to ask.
"Aww, baby girl, yes."
I settled her on my lap while I slowly lifted my shirt; I ignored Quinn's intake of breath as I pulled my boob out of my bra. Even Daniela seemed to know that not everything was normal; she wasn't spiteful, her touch was soft, and her teeth didn't bite.
Thank goodness.
I heard the bathroom door open and soft footsteps; in seconds, Britt would see me with my top mostly off, and I wouldn't be able to avoid her questions.
Mami helped her get dressed in the closet while I tried to cover what I could with the baby in my lap. Quinn saw my struggle, grabbed a baby blanket from the laundry basket, and quickly draped it over the baby and me.
"Thanks, Q."
She smiled at me and then looked up; Britt was standing in the doorway looking down at us. Then as Quinn stood, Britt was looking at her in the eyes. "You look guilty. I hate when you look guilty."
Britt sounded way better now; her fever breaking earlier told me that the worst of this bug had passed, which meant that she was more coherent now. Quinn's mouth flapped like she couldn't figure out what to say. Luckily, Mami was always quick on her feet. She held her hand out to Quinn. "Let's give them space." Quinn, though seemed nervous about leaving us.
"Mami's right, Q. It's time for Isaac's bath...would you mind?" I asked, and that seemed to break the spell of her being overprotective.
"Of course, I don't mind. Yell if you need us."
Once they were gone, Britt shifted down to the floor and put one leg behind me and the other in front of me so that she was spooning me from the side.
It took me back to the time that I broke down in the McKinley hallway, and she sat with me on the floor rubbing my back while I sobbed about people not liking me. I was so out of pocket back then that foolish girl had no idea just how good her life had become.
Britt pulled the blanket off of me to see Dani, but then she froze when she saw that the bruising continued up my arm.
Her fingers traced it, and then she lifted my shirt over my head; I didn't stop her. I didn't want this to be something that hung between us.
"Who did this?" There were tears in her eyes, but she looked quietly furious, like me.
I raised my hand and cupped her cheek, then rested my hand against her forehead.
"Your fever definitely broke. How do you feel?"
"I've been through worse. Tell me who did this to you, Santana."
Full name. I couldn't look at her, so I looked down at my baby girl, only she was staring at me too with Marco's eyes.
So I looked back at B.
"Grady."
Her face got visibly paler, and she swallowed hard.
"How? Why? And please, look at me." She squeaked out.
So I did, her eyes were damp, but she looked more enraged than anything.
"He um...came looking for you, but they wouldn't let him upstairs. You have to know our exact address to get clearance upstairs." She looked confused, just like I had when they called up to tell me I had a visitor in the lobby. "He did a find my friends and tracked your phone here. I wasn't even here. I was at the bodega, grabbing crackers for your soup. Quinn was up here with the kids."
"Okay, so how did it end up like this?"
"Quinn texted to tell me I had a visitor in the lobby. I was almost back, so I didn't respond to her, I just came into the lobby, and there he was waiting. I was going to walk right by him, but then he was in my face. It happened so fast. He asked where you were; I told him that you didn't want to see him. He wanted you to tell him to his face, and I told him you couldn't. He grabbed my arms and pushed me back against the wall, but he made it look more romantic than anything else."
"Asshole."
"Once he was up against me, he leaned in and whispered in my ear some shit about how he was going to get his money and his woman one way or another. I kneed his balls, and when he had his hands pressing against my collar bone, so he shoved me back. When he pushed me, and I hit the wall again, I cried out. That's when security finally paid attention and grabbed him. They held him until the cops came."
"Good. That's what he deserves. Can I see your back?"
I leaned forward and let her see what I hadn't had the heart to look at yet. She hissed and then wrapped her arms around me, "I'm so sorry that he hurt you. I'll fucking kill him, I promise you."
"No. I got up here, I called Mami, and Pa. Mami came straight here, and Pa went to find out more at the station."
"What can I do?"
"Just...be here. I felt so on edge, that's why I was going to go to a meeting, but Mami had suggested that I just stay home with you. So that's what I'm doing. Don't worry about him...I know way more people in this city than he does. Nico's guard still covers me, even if he's gone."
"If?" She asked, and I shrugged.
"I've never fully believed that Nico was gone. There's a part of me that feels like Carmen is fooling all of us and is with Nico."
"But Sugar said she married her."
"And you believe Sugar Motta to be 100% honest with you? Didn't she fake Asperger's so she could offend people without repercussions?" I reminded her, and Britt smirked.
"Yeah, she did."
"I'm not saying he's alive, but I'm not saying that he's not either."
"Are you changing the subject because you are done talking about Grady?"
"Yes, the less I can talk about that motherfucker, the better. I told you the facts. I just want to move past this for now because I have no doubts that he's going to get what's coming to him."
"Will you tell me if you change your mind and need to talk?" She looked so innocent as she asked me that; the truth was that I did want to talk about it, but everything I said right then would be toxic and only make her feel bad. So I had to pass, at least right then, when I felt so bitter.
"Yes." I finally said, wanting badly for the conversation to be done.
"Can I help you up?"
"Please?"
Brittany's POV
My dream was haunting me; the fear that I felt when I saw things from her perspective shook me. I had always seen my wife as a superhero, even if she was so fucking tiny.
I needed to address the person beneath the mask if she'd still let me. I could see that she had a wall up. Grady had terrified her. He was taller than me, and I was a head taller than her, and he dwarfed Marco. She'd probably never been up against someone his size.
The bruises that she had now were only a few hours old and were nearly black, which meant that as the days went on, they'd get even worse before they got better. Even though my doctors hadn't cleared me to lift anything since my surgery, I was pretty confident that I could pick her up.
She yelped when I picked her and Dani up, cradling them both against my chest.
"I got you, baby."
"You shouldn't be lifting me, B."
"I'd agree with you, but you weigh almost nothing. Are you eating?"
She didn't respond to me, which was all the answer I needed. I needed to make sure that I was checking in on her still. Her therapist had told me that the first year of recovery was always the hardest, and I had made it even harder.
Because I had interrupted her processing and routine, I needed to be the one to make sure that she got back to it.
Even if she didn't ask me, frankly, she shouldn't have to ask.
I took her over to the bed and lowered her gently onto the softness. She let out a little sigh and then smiled at me.
Good.
Dani pulled away from her boob and then used it as a pillow.
She burped and then smiled as she closed her eyes.
"Want me to take her to bed?"
She wanted to turn me down because I had been sick all day, but I could tell that the pain started to affect her. "Yeah, B. She'll need a change too."
"Okay." I picked up Dani, and she grinned at me with her five little teeth. "Hey, Dani."
"Mama." She said, patting my cheek with her chubby finger.
"B?"
"Yeah?"
"While you're up, I could really use some ice cream."
"Anything else?"
"Maybe...can you let Mami and Quinn know that we are okay...that they can go home?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I just need you." I leaned in and kissed her. Her hand twirled into my hair as she pressed sweet kisses to my face. I didn't want her to let me go, but Dani was starting to whine.
"I'll be right back, baby. Try to relax."
"Okay."
When I passed by the living room on my way to Dani's bedroom, there was no sign of Gladys, who always finds a way to fill in the silence. Quinn looked up from her curled-up position on the couch and gave me a slight nod.
"I'm going to put her in bed; I'll be back."
"Okay, B." Quinn muttered.
Dani shook her hand at me, I knew what she was asking for, and I hadn't been paying attention enough to know the hand song.
So even though I told her to relax, I turned around and went back to the bedroom to ask Ana to sing it, but I stopped short when I heard her cries. The sobs were so heartbreaking.
The baby would pick up on that and cry, so instead, I went out to the living room.
"Did Gladys leave?" I asked Quinn, and she shut her book before looking up at me.
"Yeah, Hector picked her up. I hope it's okay that I'm here..." She wanted to say more, but she looked from me to Dani. "Want me to get her in bed so you can spend some time with San?"
"I'd really appreciate it. Dani already ate; I don't know when her last bath or diaper was, though."
"Go take care of your girl; I'll make sure our little miss is taken care of."
"Thanks, Q."
"It's the least I can do...thanks for letting me stay for a few days." I nodded even though I had no idea what she was talking about. Ana must have already told her it was okay, and I wasn't going to contradict her.
I handed her Dani after kissing her little face a bunch of times. She shook her hand at Quinn, and surprisingly, Q jumped right into the song in Spanish.
When I went back into the room, only the lamp on my nightstand was on. Ana laid in the center of the bed with her back to me, her shoulders shaking to go along with the tiny whimpers she let out.
I went into the bathroom, ran the water hot, and poured in some bubbles. Then I lit a candle and dimmed the light. Once the tub was ready, I went back to the room and slid into the bed behind her. She went stiff when I put my arm around her, but then I kissed her shoulder and felt her relax.
"Come take a bath with me."
"You already took one."
"It wasn't enough; I need one with you to make me feel better; it's the only way."
"Really?" She chuckled, but I could tell it was more out of defeat than anything else.
"Yes...I need my sexy nurse to take care of me."
When in doubt, I needed to appeal to her vanity.
And it worked.
Only she didn't take her clothes off until I was undressed and in the tub. She wouldn't look at me as she shimmied out of her pants and then very slowly pulled off her shirt. Grady's long fingers had left a bruise on her chest, across the scar that she was already self-conscious about.
I stood up then and held out my hand. "You're beautiful...please don't let this make you feel like you're not."
"I just feel so fucking weak."
"Well, you're not. I love you; I think you're strong...even for a bottom." Like I had hoped, calling her a bottom seemed to distract her enough.
"I am not a bottom." She glared, but I just eased down into the tub and held my arms open.
"Sure, baby."
She grumbled as she sat between my legs, and once I had her all wrapped in my arms, I kissed her neck, her shoulders, and the bruises on her back. She let out little sighs. Her body rested back against mine, and she took my hand, kissed it then put it between her legs.
"Distract me tonight and tomorrow; we'll go see Dr. Clover." She said, and I didn't bother asking follow-up questions; instead, I pressed my fingers into her and watched her come undone.
I don't think I would have been so willing to skate past her sadness if she hadn't acknowledged that she would go to therapy the next day. I was so proud of her that I fucked her into orgasm over and over again until her sadness turned to lust.
Santana's POV
Britt's 24-hour bug found a new home in me, but I was more stubborn than my wife. After our bath, she'd held me all night long, and when I woke up, my entire body hurt. Instead of staying in bed, though, I got up did my usual bathroom routine before stumbling into the kitchen to get breakfast started. Still, someone had already beat me to it.
"Q?" I muttered when I saw her in the living room with the kids. "Did I sleep too long?" I asked, and her eyebrows raised.
"It's nearly noon, I figured that after yesterday you both needed your rest, so I left you alone." I felt terrible because I knew that this week off of school was a big deal for her; it was prep week. Columbia was piloting a week off before finals for students to study, and her roommate had chosen to use that time to drink and fuck at all hours. Celia was no better since she also wanted to spend a lot of time fucking, so desperate, Q had come to me for an escape. Being my nanny was not supposed to be a part of that escape, but she couldn't help herself. "I made you breakfast, sit with the kids...I'll warm it up and make you some tea. You don't look so good." In passing, she pressed her cool hand to my face and then pointed to the room. "On second thought, go to bed; I'll bring you food and medicine."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive."
I ruffled Isaac's hair and then pressed my hand to Daniela's face.
"Che-che?" She asked, and I shook my head.
"No, baby. Bottle." I pointed to the bottle in her hands, and she stuck out her lip, but I wasn't B; that didn't win me over. "Put that lip away. Today you drink from a bottle."
She didn't cry; she just sat back and drank the bottle while looking away from me. Daniela had the terrible combination of mine and Marco's tempers. God help anyone that crossed her.
Quinn cleared her throat in that way that I hated, so I went back to bed. Britt was already awake and making the bed until she saw me.
"Oh no, you look terrible, baby. Come on, back in bed." She fluffed up my pillows and then helped me back into bed.
When Q showed up with two little shadows with a tray of food and medicine, she looked surprised to see Britt fussing over me.
"This is a welcome sight. How are you feeling, B?"
"Good. Ana told me you're supposed to be studying, and instead, you're acting like a nanny."
"I'm just trying to be helpful, B."
"Well, after I get her settled, you are going to study, and I am going to hang out with my kids. Got it?"
Quinn looked at me, and I think we had the same thought. Why had we been fighting for the Cheerio captaincy when Brittany was the clear leader of the three of us?
"Ay Ay, Captain." Quinn said before leaving the breakfast tray on the bed and left.
Isaac and Daniela were pressed against the window, looking out onto the patio.
"I just want to cuddle them." I muttered as I stirred my tea. "But Isaac can't get sick. You can't let him, B." I looked sternly at her, and she nodded.
"Got it, I'll go play with them. Do you need anything?"
"No...Q took care of everything. Just make sure they have fun...okay?"
Britt picked up the kids, one in each arm, and let them each kiss my face before she took them away.
I don't know what Quinn gave me, but I passed out before I could finish my food. My body rarely rested more than a few hours anymore, so the forced rest felt chillingly like my coma.
My body was floating again as I backpaddled through the water, my eyes trained on the stars.
The world, though, started to tilt, jarring me back to consciousness. I looked over, and Britt was sitting in bed, with the tablet quietly scrolling.
"Where are the kids?"
"Naptime. How are you feeling?"
"Drunk."
"You look a bit better. Are you hungry? I'll warm up your mom's soup; it really helped yesterday." She got out of bed as my phone rang, and I grabbed it from the side table. Unknown Caller...I looked over at B, but she was already gone.
I usually didn't answer Unknown calls, but I was stuck in bed with nothing better to do.
When I answered, I just sat there star-struck, and all I wanted to do was take back every cruel thing that I had ever said about Mercedes Jones. She'd signed me to that songwriting contract, and apparently, it wasn't exclusive to just her.
She'd essentially gotten me a deal without me realizing it, which gave me yet another reason to stay sober!
If things pan out, then I would be chartering a plane to fly Mercedes to New York just to hug her!
"Thank you so much for this opportunity! I'll send you something soon!"
"You're in New York, right?"
"Yes...TriBeCa."
"How about you shoot me a text when you have something, and I can just come by? I'm not far from you."
OMFG!
I took a deep breath and looked over at Brittany, who was standing by the bed with a bowl of soup. She was looking at me wide-eyed, trying to figure out who I was talking to.
"That's perfect! Thank you so much!"
"Thank you, Santana, and good luck!"
When I hung up, I just sat there staring at my wife in utter shock.
"Who was that?"
"I just got personally asked to write and compose a song..." I said as I looked at Britt.
"By who?"
"Beyoncé."
"Seriously?! That's so amazing!"
"You can't tell anyone...promise me!" I said as she moved to pull her phone out.
She looked like I had just shot her cat.
"Why not?"
"It's bad luck...I can't live with that kind of pressure. I need to write music and words...I have to try to get all that done while taking care of the kids and you. If anyone else knows then, it's going to be like...hey, how's the song going for Beyoncé's new album...hey, have you talked to Beyoncé lately? I can't deal with that. Promise me!"
Britt looked a little sad, but she nodded.
"Okay...I promise." she said glumly.
"If you keep that promise, I'll make sure you get to meet her before anyone else."
"You got yourself a deal, hot stuff."
Brittany's POV
Like clockwork, Ana was better by the next afternoon and in a mood to clean everything we touched from top to bottom. Despite her need to study, Ana had roped Quinn in on the task as well.
Not once has she touched her piano to write the song for Queen Bey. Meanwhile, I had my all-important meeting the next day to hear about whether I had a job or not, so I was trying to distract myself.
I stubbed my toe on the old couch about 15 different times in the four days we'd been home, and I had enough.
"Dammit!" I screamed. There was a crash in the kitchen. When I looked over, Ana was rushing around to clean up the glass that she broke.
"Are you okay, B?"
"No. When can we furniture shop?"
"Whenever you want."
"We need a better couch; I hate this one."
"Okay, B...my credit card is in my purse. Pick out 5 couches that you love, and we can buy one today."
"Really?"
"Yup."
"Can I buy a new dining room table?"
"Sure, B...maybe also look at new dishes too. That's the second time I've broken a glass."
"Okay!"
It only took about five hours, but with the power of Ana's credit card and her willingness to pay extra for same-day delivery, by the time we went to bed, we had a brand new sofa bed.
Quinn convinced us to move the old one up to the loft, I think it was because it would give her a little more privacy to sleep, but she said it was so that I could sit and watch Ana play.
Either way, it looked good up there, so I wasn't mad about it, especially since it would be well out of my way when I was dancing.
We ate an early breakfast at our new dining room table while Quinn and the kids slept.
"Do you know what you're going to say when they ask about Grady?"
"I'm just going to tell them the truth."
"Are you sure that's wise?"
"It's all I have."
"Yeah, but how much truth do you give them?"
"They want to know why I was out so long, and while I feel like my hysterectomy is none of their business, I do feel like it will at least get them off my back. I'm fully healed now and ready to dance."
"And you're sure that you want me there?"
"I am. Having you there will help me to be the best version of myself." She smiled at me, and her dimples stood out. "I love you."
"I love you too, B."
"Should we wake up Q?"
"Yeah. I'll do it."
I watched Ana go up to the loft and figured that I might as well go see the kids. What I wasn't expecting was for them to be awake.
Quinn was doing us a huge favor by watching them for the day, so the least I could do was start off her day right. So I took Izzy with a change of clothes and a diaper into Dani's room.
I turned on Elmo and then got them changed and dressed.
By the time that Ana and Quinn found us, we were just chilling on the floor, racing cars across the floor. Ana's eyes got watery, like seeing us play was the best thing in the world, and maybe it was. For a while there, it didn't seem like we'd be at a point where we'd be a family again.
It felt good to be on the right foot with her.
Santana's POV
This was Britt's first time back at work since she left for vacation, and from what I had pieced together...when she left...things weren't in the best state.
"I don't think I can do this." Her voice shook as I held her hand in the cab.
"Do what? Britt, talk to me."
"This show...it's...it's not fun anymore." She looked like she was going to burst into tears.
"Why isn't it fun? Baby, this is your dream."
"Dancing on tour was my dream. This was just something I settled for. I don't want to show people how to dance...I just want to dance. That's it."
I squeezed her hand until she was looking at me and not her lap. "Do you want to quit the show because I'll support you...if that's what you really want?"
"I don't want that."
"Are you sure, Britt...if you want to quit...I support you...I just want you to know that you won't be able to go back. This might be your only chance on Broadway."
"You think so?"
"Yea, I do...this is show business. If you drop from this show just because you are scared...you will get a bad reputation, not to mention you dropping out of two tours last year. This won't look good. You will have a terrible reputation in the dance community."
"I don't want that to happen. It's just...so hard!"
She looked at me with so much worry in her eyes and a bit of fear.
"What's this really about, Britt Britt?"
She shrugged again.
"Is this about Grady?" I sighed when she nodded her head and put her hands over her face again. Of course, it was about him. Not like I could forget it, my body still hurt from his stupid ass.
"I'm sorry!"
I was amazed at how upset she was over this.
"Tell me what I can do...I'll do anything to make this better, Britt."
"There isn't anything..." she looked at me as she dropped her hands in her lap. "It's just...I have a lot of bad memories. I got pregnant on that stage."
And that's when the world was pulled from beneath me.
"What?"
Okay...call me stupid but for some reason...I didn't connect Britt and Grady getting pregnant with them actually having sex.
I know...crazy, right?
My response wasn't the right one because Britt looked at me in shock and then dropped her eyes.
"He and I...we spent a lot of time in the theater together. In my office...on that stage. It's just...right after the abor-...the procedure I spent days in that office. I know that being back..."
I nodded in understanding as she tried to explain why this would be so hard for her.
It all made sense, and I really should have expected it.
"It's going to be okay, B. It's going to be hard but tell me something...is your fear of memories greater than your dream? Greater than something you have worked so hard for?"
"I don't know."
"Do you want this show?"
I tried to phrase things in another way because I didn't want to tell her what to do, but I still wanted her to choose that she wouldn't regret.
"Yes."
"Then just be true to what you want. Be true to your dream. This isn't going to be easy, but this time...I'm going to be with you. Every step of the way. Whenever you need me." I tilted her chin up and leaned against her lips, and kissed her deeply before pulling back again. "You aren't doing this for Grady, the kids, or even me. You are doing this for you, Britt. You have to follow your heart. No matter what."
She looked at me and cracked a smile.
I had gotten through to her.
Finally.
"Fuck Grady." She said and then giggled before wrapping her arms around me and pulling me against her.
"Yea...well, maybe not fuck or screw Grady...but forget him definitely... let's try to forget him. Let's make new memories. You and me, B."
"Okay."
Then a thought hit me.
"That means we need to have sex...like everywhere until you aren't able to walk into your office without being turned on."
Her face got red as she smirked and nodded.
"Challenge accepted."
"That's my girl!"
I laughed and then hugged her again.
It felt right.
Like home.
We walked hand in hand towards the theater.
Britt was so excited that she was nearly skipping, and then just as she got to the door, she hesitated and looked at me.
"What is it, B?"
She looked at me for a long moment and then cracked a smile.
"I'm proud of you too, Ana. More and more each day."
And before I could respond, she pulled the door open, and the old nervous Britt fell away.
She pulled me along with her as she walked with so much authority that I was immediately turned on. She had been through something terrible, but she owned her pain and her struggle as she walked down the aisle of the theater.
She led me to the front row and then kissed me hard before handing me her bag.
Tony and Ari were up on stage with both the male and female dancers.
Ari was shaking her head as she moved slowly so that the women behind her could catch on.
"Don't slow down, Ari. They need to keep up! This is Broadway...not dance class."
Everyone froze when they heard Britt speak up. I smiled to myself because only I knew that she was scared shitless to be up on that stage.
I was so proud of her; she was up there and wasn't cutting anyone any slack.
She even made corrections to a few of Ari's missteps. Like the consummate professional that my friend is, Ari, smiled and fell into step with Britt the next go around without even a hint of an attitude.
She looked the happiest out of everyone to have Britt back.
Tony actually made his dancers stop and watch as Britt whipped the women into shape.
He was beaming as he watched his partner remind him why they were partnered as choreographers for this show.
I think that even he had forgotten.
After an hour of pushing her dancers and herself to the point of exhaustion, Britt let everyone break for lunch. I stood with her bag over my shoulder as she climbed down from the stage.
She beamed at me before looking just behind me with a nervous glance.
I turned around and saw her bosses standing there waiting for her.
"I'll meet you in your office. Fix things with them...be honest." I said quietly when she came over to me.
"Okay...it might be a little messy. I didn't clean it before I left, even though it was just one day...I got a bit uh...well, you'll see. Um...just...don't leave, okay?"
"I'll be here...promise."
I leaned in and kissed her before leaving her with her bosses and Tony. I knew that she was nervous, but she needed to deal with her bosses. They doubted her right now, and she needed to prove herself again.
And I wasn't going to stand in the way.
Britt's office was immaculate when I went inside; nothing was out of place. It almost looked vacant, which made me wonder if they were already preparing it for her replacement.
There wasn't much else to do but to wait for her, so I went over to Ari's office to catch up with her.
"Hi, Arita. How are you?"
"So happy that Britt is back. I don't think I could have handled one more day with those bitches. It was good to see her put them in their place. I'm lead, but they have been treating me like shit. So they definitely got what they deserved. How about you? How's the new place?"
"Everything is good. It's a great space that we are still working on making our own. I'll have to have you and your girlfriend over for dinner."
She blushed and patted the spot on her couch.
"Come in and shut the door."
We hadn't been alone together since Lima, but I got the distinct impression that she wouldn't go there again. Even still, I left the door cracked. I wasn't taking any chances.
"So, tell me about her."
I sat curled up on Ari's couch, listening to her gush about Gloria and how perfect she was. I'm not going to lie; I felt just a little jealous that someone in her life that she got all starry-eyed about that wasn't me.
"I think she's the one, I mean...she's everything that I've ever wanted."
"That's amazing; that's what I prayed for you. That you'd find your one."
She squeezed my hand. "Well, thanks for your prayers; they're always welcome."
We sat quietly for a beat until I got up the nerve to just ask. "Is she going to get fired?"
"No...but she is going to be put on notice now that they found out what really happened with Grady and Dionne."
"What's Dionne got to do with this?"
"That's for B to tell you. Sorry."
Ari winked and headed around the corner to her office.
I closed my eyes and silently promised myself that I would get Britt to sit down and tell me everything.
Even if it made me sick to my stomach.
Ari and I sat eating cereal and watching cartoons when I heard Britt and Tony talk in the hallway.
"Thanks for this." I said to Ari before kissing her cheek, "I think I hear them." When I opened the door, she stood with her arms crossed and her face red from crying.
Tony looked from me to Britt and then past me. I looked back, and there stood Ari in the doorway to her office, too anxious not to know what was going on.
"Hey." I said quietly to let them know I was there. Tony gave her a fist bump.
"I'll leave you guys to it, and Britt...this is only temporary. Okay. I'm proud of what you did in there."
"Thanks." She squeaked out.
She nodded, and more tears fell down her cheeks.
He kissed her forehead and then walked into his office and closed the door.
When Britt turned her gaze towards me, and I saw the hurt in her eyes, I didn't say a word.
She nearly knocked me over when she threw her arms around me and cried against my shoulder.
This was not good.
Ari cleared her throat and said a small, "I'll go." but Britt shook her head as she pulled away from me.
"No...come to my office...I need to talk to you. You...you need to hear this from me." Ari followed quietly behind us and then shut the door.
"What's going on, B?"
Britt was crying so hard that I felt like my heart was breaking. She scrubbed at her face and growled in frustration. I placed my hand on her back and rubbed between her shoulder blades.
"This sucks." She mumbled.
Once the door was shut...Ari hovered near Britt awkwardly and shot me nervous glances.
I moved further onto the couch, put my other hand on Britt's thigh, and rubbed small circles.
"It's going to be okay...Britt. Tony said it's temporary."
I had no idea what the hell I was talking about, but Tony seemed hopeful.
So because of that...I had to be.
Britt looked at me and then nodded in agreement.
"Hopefully." She said before looking up at Ari. "You should sit down."
Ari looked at me and then sat on the coffee table and wrapped her arms around herself. Something she always did when she was trying to protect herself from something. I had no idea what was happening, but it was evident that it affected Britt and Ari.
"Talk to me, Brittany."
Britt took a deep breath and then looked at Ari in the eyes.
"I'm sorry." she said quietly.
What was going on?
How bad was it?
I took a deep breath and told myself that I would be supportive and get Britt through it no matter what it was.
We could conquer anything.
She needed me, and I wouldn't let her down.
Brittany's POV
As Ana walked away from me after I had whipped my girls into shape, Tony threw an arm over my shoulders and leaned against my ear.
"I'm on your side in this. Don't forget that...okay?"
His words, though, didn't really give me confidence. My bullshit had compromised his career, too, but I looked in his eyes and nodded.
"Is it awful?"
"Let's just say that...Dionne-"
"That's enough, Tony!" Frank snapped back at us.
Our heads jerked up when we realized that our conversation wasn't so private.
Frank was pissed off, and that was never a good sign.
I swallowed the acid in my throat and then tried to smile.
Tony looked at me nervously. Then we followed our bosses to the other end of the theater and up the stairs towards the old balcony converted into two great big offices.
This could go two ways. If we headed into one of their offices, then I was probably fired, but if we went into the big conference room at the end of the hall, then it was just going to be harsh words, but I would still have a job.
I hung back and waited to see which way it was going to go. I swallowed hard when I saw August look back at me as he opened his office door.
"Come on in, Brittany."
Shit.
I got even more nervous when Tony stayed in the hall with Frank.
There was something off about all of this, and it seemed like Tony already had an idea of what it was, but I would hold my chin up just like Ana would tell me to.
They wouldn't see me break.
That was my hope.
This could still be okay. August was the one who had given me the job.
He was close to Frankie; he loved me like his own daughter.
Maybe that was why he took me into his office alone and not him and Frank.
The news would be easier coming from August, right?
"Have a seat, Brittany."
I nodded and slid into a seat in front of his desk.
My body screaming for me to stand once my ass hit the chair's hardwood, but I didn't show it. I'd pushed myself a little too hard, but I needed to.
I couldn't be weak.
Even if it was August.
He didn't sit behind his desk; instead, he took the chair next to me and turned it towards me.
This was new.
I was so confused.
It was like I was in high school all over again.
Be cool, Lopez.
Just be cool.
"I have to be honest with you, Brittany...we didn't think that you were coming back. Well, Frank didn't think s,o but I did. I knew that you would come back here and at least fight for your job. Frankie even confirmed it."
"Frankie?"
I hadn't spoken to her since she left New York, so it shocked me that she had vouched for me.
"Yes. I called her to ask if she had been in contact with you. She told me that she hadn't really been. She did promise me that you would have a good reason for all this time that you have squandered."
"Squandered?"
My head was everywhere and nowhere at the same time.
"You have still been getting paid your normal salary, even with you sleeping around with one of the dancers. We had kept you on, even when you pushed your work off onto other people like Ariana. And you know how Frank is about her. I never heard the end of that rant. I nearly passed out when today things were suddenly different. Because suddenly, today, you came back in here like you owned the place. You showed us why we hired you, and now we are both conflicted. Now we are wondering if this version of you is back for good."
I nodded as I took in what he had just said.
After a moment, I realized that he was waiting for some kind of response from me.
"I'm back for good. I went through some pretty hard stuff, but I'm back to do my job. I'll do whatever you ask of me...just don't fire me, please, August?"
I wasn't above begging.
"I don't want to fire you, Brittany. That's why you are in here with me and not in with Frank...I needed to see where your head was before I vouched for you in a few minutes."
This wasn't it?
There was more to all of this?
August saw my confusion and patted my knee.
"Frank wants to meet with you and me after he is done talking to Tony."
Tony was in with Frank?
I'd never forgive myself if he lost his job because of me.
"So I'm not getting fired?"
"Not today, unless you don't cooperate. If you want this job, then you have some explaining to do."
"Explaining?"
I wasn't sure what they knew exactly, but I knew it was something bigger than just me and Grady.
"About Grady and Dionne. About the state of your office, the drug usage...and about your extended vacation. If we are going to keep you on then, you need to be completely honest with us. We need to know whether keeping you on will be a benefit or a liability at this point."
Honesty.
That's what I had told Ana that I would give them, and now I didn't have a choice.
August ushered me into the conference room where Tony and Frank were already sitting.
Tony looked angry as he looked at me and then over at August.
"This is bullshit, August!" Tony stood from his chair and pointed a finger towards Frank. "Don't do this to her. She's been through enough!"
"Like what? It would be nice if her bosses knew, don't you think?" Frank said with a stupid smile on his face.
"Tony...calm down...this meeting is about us all getting on even footing. Our investors will be in for the whole month of January, and we need to all be on the same page, or we are all out of a job. Brittany plays a major part in that." August said as he sat beside me.
I was quiet, and so was Tony as he sat back down in his chair and looked at me.
This was not how I thought this day would turn out, but I was prepared for the worst.
Ana had always told me to never blurt out the first thing that came to my mind. So, waited until I actually knew what they knew.
Frank leaned over the table, looked across at me, and smiled, but I could see right through him.
He wanted me gone.
I could see it all over his face, but he was outnumbered.
Tony and August were in my corner.
For now.
There was some stuff that I would rather forget, and I was hoping that Dionne hadn't said anything about it.
"The moment that you two push too fucking hard...I'm taking her out of here." Tony said as he crossed his arms over his chest.
August nodded in agreement.
"Okay." August said before looking over at Frank. "Where do you want to start?"
"The sex on my stage."
I nearly choked; I thought we were alone that night.
"What?"
"Yes...sex on my stage. I walked out of my office, and there you two were going at it on the middle of my stage like jackrabbits!"
Tony growled...Frank actually looked scared and immediately apologized.
"What do you want to know about it?" I asked plainly.
I wasn't going to play any of Frank's games.
"How long after we hired Grady did you start having sex with him?"
"What does that have to do with anything, Frank?" Tony asked before I could answer.
"It matters because there is a rule in both of your contracts that strictly forbids affairs with the dancers. It also has guidelines about drug usage. From what I know, Brittany broke both of those rules."
I was tired, and I couldn't keep up with the arguing going on in front of me.
They were all yelling at each other now.
Finally, I had enough and slammed my hands on the table.
"Stop!"
All three of them froze when I stood up.
"Please...I'll tell you what you want to know."
"I want to know everything," Frank said finally.
I leaned forward on my hands. Staring down at all of them, just like I had I learned from Sue...to always seem larger than your opponent.
So I sighed and then started at the beginning.
"I hired Dionne, and she flirted with me endlessly. I didn't sleep with her. We kissed once. We smoked weed...but not here at my house. She stayed with me for a while and then she told me about her friend that was this amazing dancer. Tony was looking for the male lead, so I sent her to him. I didn't meet Grady until after Santana went into rehab. We started off as just friends. We flirted a little, but it was harmless."
Frank rolled his eyes and chuckled, but Tony glared at him, so he stopped.
"Then what?" Frank sighed.
"Then one night...we were dancing...just for fun after we had both gotten way too high. Yes...it was in my office. It went a little too far. We had sex on the stage...I got pregnant but didn't know it. I know that's against the rules too. I didn't tell anyone because I was still trying to work things out with my wife. Dionne stayed at my house until my sister-in-law put me out for smoking in the house while my son was there. She thought I was sleeping with Dionne...so I found Dionne a place with my friend Rachel. She kept trying to sleep with me. I refused her. Santana and I broke up after that...so Grady and I kept things going. I was still professional...I was still doing my job. I hired every single one of those girls when I was sober and trained them. I did my job."
"Until you didn't." Frank grumbled, and Tony shot him another look, but this time, Frank snapped at him. "Tell me I'm wrong, that you didn't work overtime to cover her."
Tony didn't answer Frank; instead, he gestured for me to continue.
"When thing fell apart with Santana...I told Grady how I wanted to go back to her, and he got mad. He threatened to leave the show...I begged him not to. He told me that he had enlisted in the military to better take care of our baby. Still, then the next day...after he spent the night with Dionne...he came in and made me feel like complete shit. He convinced me to get an abortion. He told me that you two would fire me if I was pregnant. So I did it. He left me here by myself, and I got depressed. I got sick, and so Tony and Ari covered for me. They didn't know what was going on...just that Grady had left me. I was so depressed that I stopped taking care of myself. I was too weak to dance; I was too sick to get out of bed. Santana came here and got me on my feet enough to try and work. Then I got sick again. Thankfully Santana found you guys, Tucker. Who has not steered you wrong. And if it wasn't for her, you wouldn't have Ari either, by the way." I said, pointing at Frank. He looked at me and bowed his head before looking at me with that coolness again. They were all looking at me with looks of horror. They had asked for this, and so I was giving it to them. It was the first time that I had said most of this stuff out loud, and it actually felt good.
"And the extended vacation?" August said in a whisper.
"When you guys told me that I had no choice but to take time off...I got really sick and ended up in the hospital. I almost died. I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I needed that time because I could barely walk on my own. I came back as soon as I could."
After I finished pouring out my soul, I sat down in my chair and looked at Tony. He was clenching his jaw as he looked at me with a hurt look in his eyes.
He had never heard the whole story and looked like he would have wanted to know.
"I'm sorry." I said to him, but he just reached over and squeezed my hand.
"How's your mental health?" He asked.
"Actually, I took some time to get that leveled out. I'm on meds; I'm in therapy. I'm doing great."
"That's good to hear."
It was silent for a long time, and then finally, August broke through it all.
"Thank you for that information, Brittany. I'm sorry that you went through such a hard time. I wish that you had come to us about it. It must have been tough to go through that sort of thing."
"Thank you, August, but I'm better now, and I just want to work." I said quietly.
"Why don't you step out for a second...go get some water...while we talk about this?" August said.
I nodded and slowly walked from the room.
Had I done the right thing?
Should I have found out what they knew first?
They asked for honesty, right?
I had told them everything.
I stood leaning against the vending machine, trying to calm down my emotions, when Tony poked his head into the hall and waved me back in.
Everything was quiet as I sat back at the end of the table. August wouldn't look at me, and Tony wouldn't look at Frank.
It was really tense and horrible. Frank cleared his throat and then looked at me with the same harsh expression.
"It's unfortunate that you had to go through something so horrible. It's commendable that you were still able to dance today. Unfortunately, you still broke several rules, and that means that we have to follow through with the consequences if we ever want to move forward."
"Okay...what are the consequences." I leaned forward on the table and crossed my hands.
He wasn't going to break me.
"Every move that you made is now in question. Frankly, the entire time that you have been here, you haven't been entirely focused. So every single dancer that you hired will have to re-audition...including Ariana, unfortunately." Frank looked angry at that statement, and I just looked at him in disbelief.
The smirks on both Tony and August's faces told me that they threw that in to keep Frank fair. If he was going to be such a stickler for the rules, then his precious favorite wasn't exempt.
"Frank...I hired 48 dancers. You want me to re-audition all of them?"
"No."
"Oh, thank God...that's extreme."
He seemed pleased with my answer.
"No...YOU will not re-audition them. Tony and August will. Until every slot has been reviewed, you are still suspended. You will still report to work every day to help Tony with anything he needs, but you will not be paid for it. Also...given that you don't seem to be the person that we hired...you are going to need to re-audition as well."
I wanted to explode.
"What?!" I looked at Tony, and he looked away from me.
This is what he had been angry about, and now he couldn't meet my eyes.
I had 48 jobs on the line now because of my actions, well 49 if I included myself.
How could I think that I would get away with this?
"Do you agree with those terms?" Frank asked after I had been silent for too long.
"I already told August that I was willing to do whatever he asked. So I'm not going to go back on that."
"Good...then we are done here."
"Not quite."
"Excuse me?"
"What did she tell you?"
"Who?" His eyebrows raised.
"Dionne Parker. What did she say to you since this is a time of honesty?"
Frank looked at August but didn't say anything.
Finally, August looked at me in the eyes and sighed heavily.
"She told us that you threw yourself at Grady and threatened to fire him if he didn't sleep with you. Which was suspect since only Tony, Frank, or I can fire the male dancers. She told us that you were selling marijuana to the other dancers. We asked around, and none of the other dancers verified that story. So we were iffy about her claims, but then she talked about other things...like you sleeping with Grady around the theater, and we started to think that some of what she was saying was true. We wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt. You hired that girl. Now, we need to go back and look through the rest of the dancers you hired. We can't afford to have someone like that on our staff. It will create chaos. We want you, Brittany...we just need you to be on board. Hopefully, you having to audition to regain your position as a head choreographer will help you regain your focus. This is just temporary."
I nodded and then looked at Tony...he wasn't buying anything that August was saying.
He was still angry, and I just wanted to cry.
Why couldn't I just quit?
Right...this was my dream.
I just wasn't sure that it was still worth it.
Santana's POV
It was like watching a train wreck.
Britt wasn't crying anymore; instead, she looked at Ari and waited for some kind of explosion, but Ari didn't say anything. She just looked at me and then back at Britt.
"I have to go." She left the room without another word.
She was pissed.
This was her dream...her life, and she had dropped out of school and given up a prestigious scholarship to take this job. Brittany had jeopardized that by messing with Grady when she knew that it was against the rules.
If it hadn't been for Britt telling her just how sick she had gotten, how she had the hysterectomy, I was pretty sure that Ari would have torn her down. Still, she had swallowed her anger and left before she could say anything hurtful.
I sat there staring at Britt, waiting for her to say something, but she didn't, and then my phone started buzzing.
Britt got up and went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
I heard the lock click and knew that she just needed some time alone.
We were more open and honest, but we still needed our space, and I knew that this was one of those moments where I had to let her come to me.
How are you guys? I didn't think you'd be gone all day.-Q
We are coming home soon. Sorry about that. Did the kids eat dinner?-San
Yes and bathed.-Q
Are they in bed yet?-San
Yup, Puck and Beth are here, I hope that's okay-Q
Of course. It's been a hard day, B won't be in the mood to deal with people.-San
Say less, I'll tell him not to wait for her. Is it okay if Beth stays though?-Q
Of course. I gtg. I'm going to see if B is ready to leave.-San
Ok...see you soon.-Q
Thanks for this!-San
Anytime.-Q
I heard glass breaking in the bathroom and immediately jumped up.
Before I could knock on the door, it cracked open. Britt knew that I would demand to come in so she couldn't fight me on it.
I pushed open the door and could see that it was the mirror above the sink that had taken the hit.
I looked straight at Britt's hands, but they looked undamaged.
Then I saw that she was missing a shoe.
It was in the sink.
"Well...that's interesting." I joked.
Britt looked up at me with a confused look and then shrugged.
"I remembered how you broke your hand, so I threw my shoe instead."
"I see, that was smart."
"Are you mad at me too?"
She looked at me with that sad face that I couldn't resist.
I pulled her from the bathroom and out into the office.
"No, B. In fact...I'm proud of you. So fucking proud."
She sat back on the couch and looked up at me in shock.
"Are you serious?"
I nodded and then walked over to her office door and locked it.
"Very."
I lifted my shirt over my head and then unclasped my bra as I made my way back to her.
She licked her lips again before pulling her bottom lip into her mouth.
I pushed down my shorts and panties in one shot and then straddled her lap completely naked.
"I can't believe you are doing this right now."
She looked up at me with her eyebrows raised.
"I want you so bad, B. Right now...take me...please?" I begged.
She put her hands on my hips and then leaned up and captured my lips.
"Why?" she pulled away and looked at me in confusion.
"Because...you could have gone up there and quit, but you didn't. You talked about all the shit that you have been holding in, and then you came in here, and you told me. I'm so proud of you."
B still seemed hesitant, but that didn't last long once I took her hand and placed it between my legs.
She moaned into my mouth.
"You're really wet." She whispered.
"Only for you, Britt...now fuck me...please?" I said as I looked her straight in the eyes.
I threw my head back when she kissed my chest, and at the same time, she pushed her fingers inside of me.
I rested my forehead against hers and growled. "Yessssss...like that. God...Britt, fuck me!" I moaned.
"Yeah?" she whispered.
She was into this now, and I didn't let her stop being into it until I came so hard that I had to bite her shoulder to keep from screaming.
It was hot and heavy...and really, really good.
We returned to the apartment the same way that we had left it.
Hand in hand.
Quinn was sitting on the couch with Daniela stretched across her lap while Beth watched cartoons.
"Hey Q."
"Hey."
Britt plopped down on the couch next to Beth and turned her eyes to the cartoons without a word.
Even though it had been good at the moment, the sex didn't seem to help her mood.
I thought that being intimate would help her not feel so low, but maybe it just wasn't the right time?
After I kicked off my shoes, I picked up Daniela and sat down next to Q.
"Che-che?" Daniela said sleepily, so I got her latched on before resting my head on Quinn's shoulder.
"Thanks for holding down the fort, Q."
"Anytime."
"How were they today?"
"Izzy hit Dani, but I scolded him; he cried and wouldn't talk to me for like an hour. Then I made nuggets for lunch, and suddenly we were friends again. How about you guys?"
"It sucked...let's talk about it tomorrow...tonight, let's just relax." Britt said without looking away from the tv.
Quinn looked at me with a raised brow and I shook my head.
There was no going against Britt right now. She needed some time, and by God, we were going to give it to her.
She'd been through enough.
Thankfully for us both, I was better, and while sex may not have been the answer, I would stop at nothing to make sure I could help her over this hump.
Even though right now she felt lower than low, Britt was a fighter.
She just needed to get her confidence back.