Disclaimer: Final Fantasy X, Spira, blitzball, and all related characters and locations are owned by Squaresoft, with the exception of a few original characters who will be noted as such. This is a work of fanfiction, meaning that it is both created by a fan for no purpose other than entertainment, and it is fiction, meaning that all characters and events are purely fictonal and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
My birthday's in two days. Just felt like mentioning it. I own all the stuff no one else owns. Please don't sue me.
Author's Note: The narrator of this story is Al Bhed, and some dialogue and idiomatic phrases have not been translated into English. Translations of all Al Bhed phrases can be found at the end of the chapter in which they appear.
Green Eyes in Overdrive
by flame mage
round 9: Solo
**********
Nothing until I awoke in total darkness.
The first thing I was aware of that made any sense was the pain in my head. When I put my fingers on it, they felt wet. I thought about this for a sec, then licked my fingertips. They tasted metallic, and that was the point where I figured out that: a) I was alive, b) I was bleeding, and c) I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.
Not long after that, I started remembering other important stuff, like: d) I was in the Via Purifico, e) My little sister, my boyfriend, and my best friend had all been carted off, and f) I was probably gonna die. And I still had no idea what had happened to Jassu or Letty or any of the others, but I was willing to bet it'd been something like this.
I could barely see my hand in front of my face, but I started groping around, taking an inventory of what I still had. I was still dressed all the way--at least that was a plus, because it meant that chances were they'd left me alone for the most part. I was still wearing goggles, which had little round blotches of saline on them. I took them off, spat in them, and rubbed it around until they were clear again. I checked myself briefly for major bruises or broken bones, and except for whatever the hell that Zuu egg on my head was, I seemed to be in one piece. Even my gear bag had been plopped next to me, which in my opinion was pretty thoughtful.
"Ugyo, Linna, desa du kad ed dukadran. Ruf yna oui kuhhy kad uiddy drec uha?" I muttered to myself. I needed a plan. Somehow, I had to find Bickson and the others. That meant that somehow, I had to get outta there. And *that* meant that, somehow, I had to stand up and start looking for an exit.
I got to my feet, swaying a little, and established that I could stand without keeling over. So far so good. I was feeling kinda proud of myself until the fiend showed up.
It was pretty big, as fiends go. Not that I could actually see this or anything--I got this mainly from the decibel level of the noises it was making and the stench of its breath, both of which were considerable.
Obviously, if it works once, there's a decent chance that it might work again, and I'd gotten rid of fiends before by heaving blitzballs at their eye sockets, so I tried it. Immediate bellow of annoyance.
Score--blonde blitzing bombshell: 1. Smelly thing: 0.
I caught the ball on the rebound and zinged it back again. Three hits later, I was bouncing it off my heel like I was back in the sphere. It was an automatic reflex that I didn't even have to think about, and I didn't want to think about it. I was remembering sprawling out on the front steps of Macalania Temple and waiting to freeze. I was also remembering lying in the fetal position for three days on the airship when Home had been destroyed. If those two experiences had taught me anything, it was that sitting around waiting to die is really stupid. There's no point in killing yourself when there are so many things in the world perfectly willing to do it for you. You might as well get up and live already.
Last time this'd happened, the fiend had eventually given up and kerplunked its way in the other direction, where there weren't people heaving heavy sports equipment at them. However, this one was a little smarter, and at some point it musta figured out that if it tried charging while the ball was on its way back toward me, I would flee for dear life and stop pelting it.
I wasn't expecting that at all and woulda ended up with a large set of footprints on my back except that I happen to be a serious Tackle Slip vet. I literally dove outta the way. And actually, that wouldn'ta been good either if I hadn't shifted my weight hard to one side halfway into the dive, when I realized that I was about to land facefirst in a very hard and unforgiving wall.
I landed maybe three feet from the wall, and I couldn't see it when I hit. I had to figure that anything that lived down here could probably see in the dark better than I could, but maybe it was worth a shot.
"Rao, oy cdibet csammo sysy'c puo!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "Oui fyhd y beala uv sa? Lusa kad ed, bihg!"
Worked like a charm. Not, of course, that I would've lived to know that if the fiend's breath wasn't bad enough to smell from ten feet away. The thing put its head down and charged straight toward me. And...okay, given my estimate of its size and the speed at which it was traveling...not yet...not yet...NOW!
I jumped higher than I'd ever jumped in my life.
*****
You wouldn't think fiends could run into walls, but apparently they can, and that thing took one serious KO. I hadn't even landed by the time the Pyreflies started fizzing up out of the carcass. When I did, the immediate area was lit up with Moonflow and I looked around, trying to see what I could figure out about my surroundings in the twenty or so seconds I was gonna have.
I expected a lot of darkness, a lot of muck, a lot of fiends. I did not expect another woman to be standing there. As a result, I jumped again, probably even higher this time. She didn't jump. She was just standing there, watching me. The first thing she said when I landed was, "Want some real light?"
"Yeah." Instantly, there was a clicking sound and then light. When I could see again, I got my first good look at her. She was really, really tall, so I was looking maybe at the middle of her shoulder. Her skin was dark brown, and she had looooooong braided black hair. She was dressed in a loose pair of gray pants and a simple white blouse that told me she was probably a Yevonite. Her open-toed sandals and fingerless gloves, though, were pure blitz. What struck me more than anything, though, was that I knew her. I'd seen her before.
"Hu fyo," I muttered to myself. "You're Reppi."
"Yep, that's the name," she agreed cheerfully. "You got one?"
"They call me Linna when they're not spitting at me," I replied.
"Well, Linna, I dunno how in Spira you know my name, but ya look like ya know what'cha doin' and I think I know who you are. Why don't you come with me? I got a camp set up not far from here."
Her long legs started pumping, and I jogged to keep up. "You got a camp in here? Where the hell are we?"
"Lord, child, you don't know that? We're in the Via Purifico." She was still going waaay too fast, and the light was getting farther and farther ahead of me. I sprinted.
"Waiddaminute, what are you doing in the Via Purifico?" I demanded. "You're supposed to be fiend meat."
She chuckled. "Man, Naida told me you were crazy, but I nevah expected this. I been livin' down here for *years*, girl."
"No way."
"Way."
"*Man,* that's weird." But it would definitely explain a lot--why Bickson and Miyu hadn't seen her in the Farplane, for one. I chewed over that one for a couple minutes until I could see light in the distance. Then something else hit me. "Is Naida down here?"
"Well, obviously, Linna."
Tysh, speak of the devil. By then, we were at the light, which turned out to be a pretty big camp fire. It was in the center of a rough triangle made by three large stones, on one of which a tanned, buff-looking guy was perched as he waved the end of a long stick in the flames. And standing next to it was Naida, as smug as ever, brushing her long half-bang out of her face. She smirked. "Where did you think I'd ended up, Zanarkand?"
"More like the nearest shopping mall," I scoffed.
"Whoa. Another one, huh?" said the guy on the stone. He was wearing turquoise-and-gold overalls, and he had the long hair and rough, bronzed look of a sailor.
"Yeah, another one," I answered him. "It's Zalitz, yeah?"
"You got me pegged, dude. Want a marshmallow?" He swung the stick in a wide arc, nearly hitting me with the dripping hunk of white fluff, which was still shooting off medium-sized flames.
"Mebbe later," I said.
"All right." I looked at Reppi, who was standing with her arms crossed, looking thoughtful. "Seems to me," she continued after a sec, "we're gonna need another rock here. Naida, you wanna go find one while I talk to our new roomie here?"
Naida opened her mouth to protest, but something got the better of her and she whined, "fine!" before flouncing off. Reppi settled herself down on one of the stones and motioned for me to sit too. I plunked myself down, dropped my gear bag like a ton of bricks on the ground next to me, and--after firmly establishing with Zalitz that no, I definitely did NOT want a marshmallow--waited to see what the goalie had to say.
*****
"So I guess you figured it out, huh?" she asked after a while.
"Yeah. We saw the sphere and everything."
"Who's 'we'?"
I ticked them off on my fingers. "Me, my kid sister, Miyu, and Bickson."
"So they don't have Bick yet, right?"
"Uh-uh. They got him. I just don't know where."
"Rumor has it there's anutha part to the Via," Reppi said. "What we're in now is the Maze of Sorrow. Darkness, starvation, and loadsa fiends. Somewhere else, though, there's supposedta be a connection ta the Bevelle sewer system. Could be he's there."
"It isn't as if we'll ever know, though," Naida informed me, flouncing back with the rock, which she arranged herself on delicately. "There's no escape from the Via Purifico."
"Naida, oy dfed, that's incredibly stupid," I shot back. "There's a way in. There's gotta be a way out."
"Yeah, dude, but how ya gonna find it?" That was Zalitz. I glanced at Naida to see if she knew what "dude" was. She didn't or couldn't help me out, so I assumed it must be like Reppi's "girl." "Reppi's been here for years and she doesn't know where it is. And if she can't find it, there's no way we can."
"Wanna bet?" I wasn't feeling confident at all, but one of the few blitz tricks I picked up from my mom was to always look like you were on top. Doesn't matter if it's BS--if you act like you know exactly what you're doing, other people will believe it. "Where are we in the Via? Is it just a big endless wasteland?"
"Unh-unh." Reppi shook her head. "We got a pretty rough circle where we are here. Here, Zalitz, gimme one'a those sticks." He passed it over and she brushed herself a little pile of ashes from the fire into a shallow rectangle on the ground. "Okay. You turned up here," she told me, pointing to the far edge of the circle. "Place's...ehh, maybe a half-mile in diameter. We're about in the center. The fire keeps the fiends away."
"Why?"
"It's not like we made it by rubbin' two sticks tagetha, girl. That's magic fire."
"Waiddaminute. How the hell are you guys coming up with magic fire?" I demanded.
"This baby." Zalitz hurled a plastic rectangle about the size of a checkerboard at me. I snagged it out of the air and looked it over.
"Okay, I'm still not getting how this makes fire," I told him, feeling dumb.
"Dude, haven't you seen one of these before? It's called a sphere grid," he explained, like he was telling a four-year-old. "Whenever you beat a fiend or something, it leaves behind those little sphere marbles, ya know? You can use those to learn abilities and magic and stuff."
"This isn't the best," Naida added. "It's a portable one, one Reppi happened to be carrying when she left her home. The better ones are larger and made of stone. As it is, though, it's all we've got."
Reppi took over again. "My brother was a guardian. He and my momma taught me that magic fires keep away fiends. So before I left, I made sure I knew how to cast Fire."
"But you weren't using fire to light the way when I ran into you, right?" I asked.
"'Course not. We got machina fa' little stuff like that." She took something out of her pocket and showed it to me--a tiny portable flashlight. "Turns out Naida had a coupl'a these on her. They come in handy. The fire's just for fiends and cookin'."
"Okay, so I got how you keep fiends away. How'd you eat?" I asked.
Naida shuddered. "This is...unpleasant."
"Not as unpleasant as starvin', child," Reppi told her sharply. Then she turned to me. "I've been eaten' fiendmeat." I started to ask the question and she cut me off. "I know, I know, they up and disappear when ya kill 'em. So ya can't kill 'em. Ya gotta weaken 'em enough with magic and stun spells where they can't move, and then ya cut the meat off. It's not so bad cooked."
"It's absolutely disgusting," Naida muttered out of the corner of her mouth to me.
"Anyway, I'm not done yet," Reppi remembered, banging the marshmallow stick on the ground for emphasis. "There's one other thing that might be important. On the other end--" she marked an X on the opposite side of the circle from where I'd come to "--there's a weird thing on the ground. A kinda platform."
"A platform?" the Al Bhed merchant repeated. "You never told me about that!"
The goalie smiled enigmatically. "Ya never asked. I dunno what it is," she continued, "but I think it's a machina, and none'a us knows anything about 'em."
"Waiddaminute, Naida's Al Bhed," I protested. My head hurt.
Naida glowered at me. "Linna, dear, I lived in the Calm Lands. My knowledge of machina is highly limited."
"See, I knew that, which is why I didn't wanna say anything," Reppi told her. "You know anythin' about machina, Linna?"
"Kinda-sorta." I tilted a hand back and forth in the international symbol for kinda-sorta. "I got slightly less than no clue how anything works, but back Home my sister and I were so broke half the time I had to learn to fix all our appliances myself."
"Good enough. Wanna see whatcha make'a it, then?" Reppi asked.
I got to my feet. "Bring it on, Repster. Bring it on."
**********
Translations:
"Ugyo, Linna, desa du kad ed dukadran. Ruf yna oui kuhhy kad uiddy drec uha?" - "Okay, Linna, time to get it together. How are you gonna get outta this one?"
"Rao, oy cdibet csammo sysy'c puo! Oui fyhd y beala uv sa? Lusa kad ed, bihg!" - "Hey, ya stupid smelly mama's boy! You want a piece of me? Come get it, punk!"
"Hu fyo." - "No way."
oy dfed - ya twit
My birthday's in two days. Just felt like mentioning it. I own all the stuff no one else owns. Please don't sue me.
Author's Note: The narrator of this story is Al Bhed, and some dialogue and idiomatic phrases have not been translated into English. Translations of all Al Bhed phrases can be found at the end of the chapter in which they appear.
Green Eyes in Overdrive
by flame mage
round 9: Solo
**********
Nothing until I awoke in total darkness.
The first thing I was aware of that made any sense was the pain in my head. When I put my fingers on it, they felt wet. I thought about this for a sec, then licked my fingertips. They tasted metallic, and that was the point where I figured out that: a) I was alive, b) I was bleeding, and c) I wasn't exactly thinking clearly.
Not long after that, I started remembering other important stuff, like: d) I was in the Via Purifico, e) My little sister, my boyfriend, and my best friend had all been carted off, and f) I was probably gonna die. And I still had no idea what had happened to Jassu or Letty or any of the others, but I was willing to bet it'd been something like this.
I could barely see my hand in front of my face, but I started groping around, taking an inventory of what I still had. I was still dressed all the way--at least that was a plus, because it meant that chances were they'd left me alone for the most part. I was still wearing goggles, which had little round blotches of saline on them. I took them off, spat in them, and rubbed it around until they were clear again. I checked myself briefly for major bruises or broken bones, and except for whatever the hell that Zuu egg on my head was, I seemed to be in one piece. Even my gear bag had been plopped next to me, which in my opinion was pretty thoughtful.
"Ugyo, Linna, desa du kad ed dukadran. Ruf yna oui kuhhy kad uiddy drec uha?" I muttered to myself. I needed a plan. Somehow, I had to find Bickson and the others. That meant that somehow, I had to get outta there. And *that* meant that, somehow, I had to stand up and start looking for an exit.
I got to my feet, swaying a little, and established that I could stand without keeling over. So far so good. I was feeling kinda proud of myself until the fiend showed up.
It was pretty big, as fiends go. Not that I could actually see this or anything--I got this mainly from the decibel level of the noises it was making and the stench of its breath, both of which were considerable.
Obviously, if it works once, there's a decent chance that it might work again, and I'd gotten rid of fiends before by heaving blitzballs at their eye sockets, so I tried it. Immediate bellow of annoyance.
Score--blonde blitzing bombshell: 1. Smelly thing: 0.
I caught the ball on the rebound and zinged it back again. Three hits later, I was bouncing it off my heel like I was back in the sphere. It was an automatic reflex that I didn't even have to think about, and I didn't want to think about it. I was remembering sprawling out on the front steps of Macalania Temple and waiting to freeze. I was also remembering lying in the fetal position for three days on the airship when Home had been destroyed. If those two experiences had taught me anything, it was that sitting around waiting to die is really stupid. There's no point in killing yourself when there are so many things in the world perfectly willing to do it for you. You might as well get up and live already.
Last time this'd happened, the fiend had eventually given up and kerplunked its way in the other direction, where there weren't people heaving heavy sports equipment at them. However, this one was a little smarter, and at some point it musta figured out that if it tried charging while the ball was on its way back toward me, I would flee for dear life and stop pelting it.
I wasn't expecting that at all and woulda ended up with a large set of footprints on my back except that I happen to be a serious Tackle Slip vet. I literally dove outta the way. And actually, that wouldn'ta been good either if I hadn't shifted my weight hard to one side halfway into the dive, when I realized that I was about to land facefirst in a very hard and unforgiving wall.
I landed maybe three feet from the wall, and I couldn't see it when I hit. I had to figure that anything that lived down here could probably see in the dark better than I could, but maybe it was worth a shot.
"Rao, oy cdibet csammo sysy'c puo!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "Oui fyhd y beala uv sa? Lusa kad ed, bihg!"
Worked like a charm. Not, of course, that I would've lived to know that if the fiend's breath wasn't bad enough to smell from ten feet away. The thing put its head down and charged straight toward me. And...okay, given my estimate of its size and the speed at which it was traveling...not yet...not yet...NOW!
I jumped higher than I'd ever jumped in my life.
*****
You wouldn't think fiends could run into walls, but apparently they can, and that thing took one serious KO. I hadn't even landed by the time the Pyreflies started fizzing up out of the carcass. When I did, the immediate area was lit up with Moonflow and I looked around, trying to see what I could figure out about my surroundings in the twenty or so seconds I was gonna have.
I expected a lot of darkness, a lot of muck, a lot of fiends. I did not expect another woman to be standing there. As a result, I jumped again, probably even higher this time. She didn't jump. She was just standing there, watching me. The first thing she said when I landed was, "Want some real light?"
"Yeah." Instantly, there was a clicking sound and then light. When I could see again, I got my first good look at her. She was really, really tall, so I was looking maybe at the middle of her shoulder. Her skin was dark brown, and she had looooooong braided black hair. She was dressed in a loose pair of gray pants and a simple white blouse that told me she was probably a Yevonite. Her open-toed sandals and fingerless gloves, though, were pure blitz. What struck me more than anything, though, was that I knew her. I'd seen her before.
"Hu fyo," I muttered to myself. "You're Reppi."
"Yep, that's the name," she agreed cheerfully. "You got one?"
"They call me Linna when they're not spitting at me," I replied.
"Well, Linna, I dunno how in Spira you know my name, but ya look like ya know what'cha doin' and I think I know who you are. Why don't you come with me? I got a camp set up not far from here."
Her long legs started pumping, and I jogged to keep up. "You got a camp in here? Where the hell are we?"
"Lord, child, you don't know that? We're in the Via Purifico." She was still going waaay too fast, and the light was getting farther and farther ahead of me. I sprinted.
"Waiddaminute, what are you doing in the Via Purifico?" I demanded. "You're supposed to be fiend meat."
She chuckled. "Man, Naida told me you were crazy, but I nevah expected this. I been livin' down here for *years*, girl."
"No way."
"Way."
"*Man,* that's weird." But it would definitely explain a lot--why Bickson and Miyu hadn't seen her in the Farplane, for one. I chewed over that one for a couple minutes until I could see light in the distance. Then something else hit me. "Is Naida down here?"
"Well, obviously, Linna."
Tysh, speak of the devil. By then, we were at the light, which turned out to be a pretty big camp fire. It was in the center of a rough triangle made by three large stones, on one of which a tanned, buff-looking guy was perched as he waved the end of a long stick in the flames. And standing next to it was Naida, as smug as ever, brushing her long half-bang out of her face. She smirked. "Where did you think I'd ended up, Zanarkand?"
"More like the nearest shopping mall," I scoffed.
"Whoa. Another one, huh?" said the guy on the stone. He was wearing turquoise-and-gold overalls, and he had the long hair and rough, bronzed look of a sailor.
"Yeah, another one," I answered him. "It's Zalitz, yeah?"
"You got me pegged, dude. Want a marshmallow?" He swung the stick in a wide arc, nearly hitting me with the dripping hunk of white fluff, which was still shooting off medium-sized flames.
"Mebbe later," I said.
"All right." I looked at Reppi, who was standing with her arms crossed, looking thoughtful. "Seems to me," she continued after a sec, "we're gonna need another rock here. Naida, you wanna go find one while I talk to our new roomie here?"
Naida opened her mouth to protest, but something got the better of her and she whined, "fine!" before flouncing off. Reppi settled herself down on one of the stones and motioned for me to sit too. I plunked myself down, dropped my gear bag like a ton of bricks on the ground next to me, and--after firmly establishing with Zalitz that no, I definitely did NOT want a marshmallow--waited to see what the goalie had to say.
*****
"So I guess you figured it out, huh?" she asked after a while.
"Yeah. We saw the sphere and everything."
"Who's 'we'?"
I ticked them off on my fingers. "Me, my kid sister, Miyu, and Bickson."
"So they don't have Bick yet, right?"
"Uh-uh. They got him. I just don't know where."
"Rumor has it there's anutha part to the Via," Reppi said. "What we're in now is the Maze of Sorrow. Darkness, starvation, and loadsa fiends. Somewhere else, though, there's supposedta be a connection ta the Bevelle sewer system. Could be he's there."
"It isn't as if we'll ever know, though," Naida informed me, flouncing back with the rock, which she arranged herself on delicately. "There's no escape from the Via Purifico."
"Naida, oy dfed, that's incredibly stupid," I shot back. "There's a way in. There's gotta be a way out."
"Yeah, dude, but how ya gonna find it?" That was Zalitz. I glanced at Naida to see if she knew what "dude" was. She didn't or couldn't help me out, so I assumed it must be like Reppi's "girl." "Reppi's been here for years and she doesn't know where it is. And if she can't find it, there's no way we can."
"Wanna bet?" I wasn't feeling confident at all, but one of the few blitz tricks I picked up from my mom was to always look like you were on top. Doesn't matter if it's BS--if you act like you know exactly what you're doing, other people will believe it. "Where are we in the Via? Is it just a big endless wasteland?"
"Unh-unh." Reppi shook her head. "We got a pretty rough circle where we are here. Here, Zalitz, gimme one'a those sticks." He passed it over and she brushed herself a little pile of ashes from the fire into a shallow rectangle on the ground. "Okay. You turned up here," she told me, pointing to the far edge of the circle. "Place's...ehh, maybe a half-mile in diameter. We're about in the center. The fire keeps the fiends away."
"Why?"
"It's not like we made it by rubbin' two sticks tagetha, girl. That's magic fire."
"Waiddaminute. How the hell are you guys coming up with magic fire?" I demanded.
"This baby." Zalitz hurled a plastic rectangle about the size of a checkerboard at me. I snagged it out of the air and looked it over.
"Okay, I'm still not getting how this makes fire," I told him, feeling dumb.
"Dude, haven't you seen one of these before? It's called a sphere grid," he explained, like he was telling a four-year-old. "Whenever you beat a fiend or something, it leaves behind those little sphere marbles, ya know? You can use those to learn abilities and magic and stuff."
"This isn't the best," Naida added. "It's a portable one, one Reppi happened to be carrying when she left her home. The better ones are larger and made of stone. As it is, though, it's all we've got."
Reppi took over again. "My brother was a guardian. He and my momma taught me that magic fires keep away fiends. So before I left, I made sure I knew how to cast Fire."
"But you weren't using fire to light the way when I ran into you, right?" I asked.
"'Course not. We got machina fa' little stuff like that." She took something out of her pocket and showed it to me--a tiny portable flashlight. "Turns out Naida had a coupl'a these on her. They come in handy. The fire's just for fiends and cookin'."
"Okay, so I got how you keep fiends away. How'd you eat?" I asked.
Naida shuddered. "This is...unpleasant."
"Not as unpleasant as starvin', child," Reppi told her sharply. Then she turned to me. "I've been eaten' fiendmeat." I started to ask the question and she cut me off. "I know, I know, they up and disappear when ya kill 'em. So ya can't kill 'em. Ya gotta weaken 'em enough with magic and stun spells where they can't move, and then ya cut the meat off. It's not so bad cooked."
"It's absolutely disgusting," Naida muttered out of the corner of her mouth to me.
"Anyway, I'm not done yet," Reppi remembered, banging the marshmallow stick on the ground for emphasis. "There's one other thing that might be important. On the other end--" she marked an X on the opposite side of the circle from where I'd come to "--there's a weird thing on the ground. A kinda platform."
"A platform?" the Al Bhed merchant repeated. "You never told me about that!"
The goalie smiled enigmatically. "Ya never asked. I dunno what it is," she continued, "but I think it's a machina, and none'a us knows anything about 'em."
"Waiddaminute, Naida's Al Bhed," I protested. My head hurt.
Naida glowered at me. "Linna, dear, I lived in the Calm Lands. My knowledge of machina is highly limited."
"See, I knew that, which is why I didn't wanna say anything," Reppi told her. "You know anythin' about machina, Linna?"
"Kinda-sorta." I tilted a hand back and forth in the international symbol for kinda-sorta. "I got slightly less than no clue how anything works, but back Home my sister and I were so broke half the time I had to learn to fix all our appliances myself."
"Good enough. Wanna see whatcha make'a it, then?" Reppi asked.
I got to my feet. "Bring it on, Repster. Bring it on."
**********
Translations:
"Ugyo, Linna, desa du kad ed dukadran. Ruf yna oui kuhhy kad uiddy drec uha?" - "Okay, Linna, time to get it together. How are you gonna get outta this one?"
"Rao, oy cdibet csammo sysy'c puo! Oui fyhd y beala uv sa? Lusa kad ed, bihg!" - "Hey, ya stupid smelly mama's boy! You want a piece of me? Come get it, punk!"
"Hu fyo." - "No way."
oy dfed - ya twit