A Rose By Any Other Name.
By Kes.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Harry Potter Universe, sorry.
Severus awoke with a start the next morning in his bed. Briefly, he wondered how he had ended up with a Gryffindor cloak lounging precariously over him as well as his extra bed sheets. Now that he concentrated properly, able to focus, he noticed that he was actually on the bed rather than in it.
Severus groaned as he attempted to rise from his bed. At first assuming it was a full body bind, he lay back down waiting for it to slowly fade. This was until he realised that body binds are not usually accompanied with very painful head and neck aches. What did I drink last night? And why is a Gryffindor - Hermione's - cloak over me?
As fragments of his memory gradually began to reappear, he cringed and rose from the bed delicately, and padded over on the - thankfully - carpeted floor of his private quarters. He moved delicately towards his potions cabinet whilst holding his head and shielding his eyes from the sunlight that was attempting to break through his dark-shaded blinds.
He greedily gulped down the remnants of a hangover potion, hoping it would work, and sighed in blissful happiness as clarity began to return to his fuzzy head. He then made his way slowly to the shower, and with a flick of his wand, got in, hot steamy water cascading down like a waterfall.
As he was rinsing his hair, a thought suddenly dawned on him. "How the hell did she know where my rooms are?" He yelled this out loud to no one in particular, and got out of the shower in a hurried fashion, so fast in fact that he slipped on the rug and went flying through his quarters and hit the old wooden front door very hard. His wet hair clung possessively to his face, as did - thank god, he mused - the white towel around his middle.
He got dressed carefully, minding where he was walking, and was about to stroll out of the door for breakfast when his thoughts came back to the Gryffindor cloak. Her Gryffindor cloak. He took it in his hand and pretended to casually lift it up - so that he could smell her perfume - as if someone was watching him. He closed his eyes as he took in her smell, grateful for this opportunity. After some careful deliberation, Severus decided to go against his original plan of handing it to her at breakfast, and instead give it to her later. Otherwise, the abnormally curious Minerva may ask questions.
Severus walked to the table in the Great Hall and automatically sat down next to Hermione. Whilst reaching for the coffee pot, he looked pointedly at Minerva and Poppy who were yet again whispering to each other then would look at Severus and Hermione in turn. He rolled his eyes theatrically and turned away.
Meanwhile, Hermione watched Severus enter the room through the veil that was her curly hair. She was unsure about what had happened the day before. What should she think of it? Should I ignore it? He was drunk...but is it really so inconceivable that a guy would like me? I mean, I seem to like him despite my best efforts… Despite all of this, she also had to pretend to be totally oblivious to her supposed superiors Minerva and Poppy. She sighed to herself.
Professor Dumbledore entered the room and went straight to Hermione, handing her a letter, the ever-present twinkle in his eye. He looked around the table: "Good morning everyone. I trust you all had a rested evening and slept well - " He looked blatantly at Severus who was instantly alarmed.
"Here you go Miss Granger." He added, in a more hushed tone, finally letting go of the letter.
Hermione smiled her thanks and proceeded to open the letter. It was addressed to her home address from Hogwarts, as if they had been about to send it to her but in the end decided not to.
Before she even had chance to read the letter, a small silver object fell on to her lap. Curious, she picked it up aware that someone's eyes were on her. As she fingered the object, she turned it around to see the words: 'Head Girl' emblazoned on to it. Wide-eyed, she studied the letter.
By the time she looked up, she noticed that everyone was looking at her, smiling. Well, except Severus, naturally.
Then it hit her suddenly, as though someone had slapped her in the face and she instantly became annoyed at her own stupidity and hurt at their cowardice.
She rose abruptly from the table and Dumbledore in the eye, glaring at him and then at Severus with hurt in her eyes. How could he? She thought he had cared for her on some level. How could he be a part of this pity party?
"I don't want your sympathy!" She cried out, storming out of the Great Hall, leaving a very bewildered set of teachers behind in her wake.
After at least an hour of constant searching for the emotionally unstable teenage girl, Severus was beginning to tire. At first he had been in somewhat of a blind panic, as much as he was loathe to admit it, and frantically began to search the nearby rooms whilst the others did the grounds and other more remote parts of the castle on the assumption that she would perhaps hide from them all in her distressed state.
Dumbledore was particularly worried as when Hermione had left he noticed something that the others could merely sense. He saw her raw magic, and if she was losing control of her magic then they could all be in danger.
Severus had gone to her rooms - as had everyone, at some point or another - but there was no one, save the ginger ball of fluff she somehow claimed to be a living cat. He then proceeded to her haven. The library. Nothing. Sighing, and thinking that she would come back to them in her own time, deciding that Dumbledore was merely exaggerating (although he knew he would never do such a thing) Severus decided to go back to his rooms where he would have a quick shower and check his fireplace for messages.
Muttering to himself something about the inane stupidity of teenage girls (and yet finding himself disconcertedly worried despite his best attempts) whilst undoing the multitude of complex wards that guarded his humble abode, he strode confidently in…
She was lying fast asleep on his bed.
He stood in front of the bed dumbfounded for a moment. Severus Snape had met the Dark Lord and come away from it walking, he had seen people die in battle, but the sight of…her…on his bed made him stop and stare.
Hermione woke up, and searched the unfamiliar rooms for something recognisable and was greeted with the sight of her potions professor, eyebrow raised, looking up from his book.
He watched her stare at him in wide-eyed confusion. Then she blushed, totally speechless.
She looks even more attractive when she blushes...did I just think of a student as 'attractive'? Call St Mungo's, I think I'm insane. I'm falling for a student...
"I'm-I'm sorry Professor, I didn't think I'd fall asleep, I'll be going now..." She hastily got up and put on the Gryffindor cloak, even though she had her normal muggle clothes on underneath it. As she rose, she self-consciously smoothed out the bed sheets and slipped her shoes - that she'd taken of to ensure she didn't mark anything - back on. Thankfully her tear marks on the pillow had dried on their own.
As she hurried over towards the door, she hazarded a glance over at her abnormally subdued potions master, who was currently sitting calmly in the chair opposite the bed, with a book on his knees and a somewhat bemused expression about his features.
A confused look greeted Severus. "You're not mad at me?" She blurted out. Well done Herm. 10 points to the house of stupidity!
She blushed furiously yet again and closed her eyes as though willing herself to just stop.
His expression softened somewhat as he looked at her with an earnest concern. He took out his wand and pointed it at another chair in the room and accio-ed it to them. "What's wrong Miss Granger?" He indicated with his hand to the seat opposite him.
She hesitantly sat down.
"Nothing sir." She replied, characteristically biting the right side of her bottom lip slightly, attempting not to have an outpour of emotion.
One sceptical glance; that was all it took.
The lip suddenly quivered, now unsure.
His deep voice travelled straight through her. "Miss Granger...Hermione...if you want to talk, you can. I understand that I'm neither your Head of House, nor one of your Gryffindor cronies. I am, however, here. Right now. And, although I won't force you to talk, I can tell you now that I don't believe you when you say that there is nothing wrong. In fact, I would be quite worried if that was true."
She smiled lightly and cocked her head slightly sideways. "You know, you're the first person who's actually attempted to talk to me. Usually, an 'I'm fine' works. I was, er, actually...waiting for someone - "
She looked down, fiddling with the sleeve of her cloak. ' waiting for you' Just say it!
" - To try and persist." She finished, looking up at him for a second.
Hermione kept her gaze down, embarrassed. "I'm not really a talkative person." She looked up suddenly. "And no, that doesn't include my constant hand up in class." She added, in a pre-emptive strike against a supposedly scathing remark that was going to, presumably, arrive.
It didn't.
Hermione smiled slightly. "You should see Lavender and Parvarti! They've tried to get me involved in 'girl talk', but to no avail, I'm afraid..." She stayed silent.
She inhaled deeply and looked at him, waiting for him to speak, to say anything as long as she was not the only one talking.
As if reading her mind, he slowly replied. "I'm glad that you don't talk that much. As much as I...I hesitate to use the word 'like'...Miner-Professor McGonagall, I'd appreciate it if she once in a while just let me read in the peace of the staff room."
She looked surprised. "You...like to read?"
"Wizards do read, you know. Despite what your young friends might think. Muggle literature had always been a favourite of mine-" He stopped talking, wondering what the hell he was doing.
She raised an eyebrow. "Muggle literature?"
As she had carried the conversation on, he decided to just let her talk for now, hoping that she would get to what was really bothering her later. "Much better than wizarding fiction, if you can call it that. They usually base it on their lives, or someone else's with a little 'twist' to the tale..." He rolled his eyes slightly.
"Well, I like Pride and Prejudice personally. It's by a woman called Jane Austen."
"Yes, I know. Sense and Sensibility is far better in my opinion. Brandon is my kind of man…" He shut up straight after he said that. What am I doing?
He looked at her suddenly. "You know, if someone told me a month ago that I would be in my chambers discussing muggle literature with the only person in Hogwarts' student body who voluntarily picked up a book - and not just because she was now Head Girl - and was actually... enjoying...myself, I think I would have hexed them where they stood..." He studied her, a contemplative look on his face.
She was amazed at his honesty and from the look on his face so was he. Hermione could tell that he was trying hard to make her feel better, which was quite sweet of him really, when he could have just sent her packing to Dumbledore's office.
His chin was now resting in his hand as it was propped up on his knee, he looked at her. He seemed to have relaxed somewhat in her presence. Then again, these were his rooms, this was his territory. "Why did you run off earlier?"
She sighed. Time to face the music I guess...
Hermione had no wish to tell him but decided it was unfair to make him do all the work. "I don't really know…It's a lot of things. At the moment, I guess it's the shock of being Head Girl. I mean, the people around me always said I would, but there's all the other girls, what was the likelihood of me being Head Girl?"
She laughed nervously. He raised a sceptical eyebrow.
"Then...well, I guess it was all because of what's happened recently. I thought you'd all done this out of pity. 'Oh, poor Hermione, she needs cheering up, lets make her Head Girl'. That's what really pissed me off...Then when I ran off, I was just running blindly around the school for a while, until I came here. When I did, I re-read the letter and thought how proud my mother would have been."
She paused for a minute thinking of her mother again and inhaled deeply to stop the tears she could feel from coming.
Then that lead to her being disappointed because I'd only got the place because of pity. Her being upset made me upset...and it just kept going round and round in circles.
Then I had a headache, but I didn't know if you had any potions in here, so I lay down for a minute, to see if it would go away on its own...only, it wasn't just a minute..."
Hermione failed to realise that despite her best efforts she had in fact started crying during her babbling. As she lightly dabbed her tears, she looked up at Severus, who was looking at her strangely. "I don't know what you do to me Professor, but for some reason, I just blurt things out...I'm sorry..." She ended in a hurried, mumbling tone. She looked down at her suddenly incredibly interesting watch and there was silence for a few moments. Hermione honestly thought he was about to get up and open the door for her.
"Severus."
Hermione looked up. He had not consoled her, hugged her, or attempted to make her feel better in any way. He had just listened, and asked her to call him by his name. And she was ridiculously happy.
She was shocked as he delicately moved a hand to her cheek in order to wipe away a rogue tear.
She unconsciously closed her eyes and moved into his hand, which stayed on her cheek a little longer than was really necessary.
Regrettably he moved his hand away and spoke, "You know, we don't give important places in Hogwarts out of pity. Trust me. We usually decide who is going to be Head Boy and Girl about halfway through their sixth year."
He stopped to look at how she was taking this. "We assess those two students, and the other candidates, to see if they work well, communicate with others, help others among other things. After which, if we still think that the two main students are up to it, they are informed of their new roles. Otherwise, we decide from the other candidates.
So you see, 'pity' had nothing to do with it. Although, I must confess, we were beginning to question whether or not you'd be up to it. You can thank Minerva for sticking up for you - otherwise known as yelling at me - even though I actually agreed with her for once."
"Oh." She blushed. I'm doing an awful lot of blushing lately. "So I guess I didn't need to do the whole running-around-the-school-possessed thing then, huh?"
He smiled lightly at her "No. I think not."
"Did you mean it?"
"Did I mean what?" Replied Severus, startled after their companionable silence.
What am I doing!
"What you said yesterday. Well, last night."
Severus looked away.
She took a deep breath. "Are you...attracted...to me?" She said, attempting for some unknown reason, to pursue the subject. Hermione felt the well known scarlet blush rise in her cheeks, causing her to feel hotter than usual.
When she looked away, she failed to notice the look of longing and affection that Severus shyly sent her way.
He turned away again, looking at the suddenly very interesting floor.
"I think so."
Ok, so it was hardly the declaration of undying love that she had secretly been rather hoping for, but then again, this was Severus Snape not a Mills and Boon character.
She looked up slowly, cheeks burning red, and stared into his eyes. She raised an eyebrow, attempting to look indifferent but failing miserably. "You think so?"
He took a deep breath and gave her an apologetic look. "I'm...not exactly experienced in the matters of the heart... my parents were far from affectionate when I was young. Coming here as an eleven year old greasy-haired loner with an unhealthy obsession with blowing cauldrons up for the sake of it, more hindered than helped my credibility with the opposite sex."
She smiled slightly, still not really looking him in the eye. "I know what you mean. A bushy haired, big toothed know-it-all who'd rather read a book than a teen magazine isn't exactly a guys idea of perfection. I haven't really changed much. My father's attitude towards me pretty much fucked up any chance I ever had with a man." She suddenly realised what she had said and began to shrink in her chair.
"No. That's not true. I think you're very...Gryffindor. I mean that as a compliment, for once." He quirked his eyebrow and smiled wryly. "You are very brave for living with your father for as long as you did. I've often wondered why you were never placed in Ravenclaw..."
She smiled, this time finally looking him in the eye. "You aren't so bad yourself you know..." A mischievous smile crept up on her face.
He laughed a deep baritone laugh that sent shivers down Hermione's spine. Suddenly very conscious with the fact that they were alone in his bedroom with a very small amount of space between them, Hermione tried to casually move away, pushing her
chair back slightly. Unfortunately it had far from the desired affect.
Her chair caught on the rug behind her, sending her body forwards towards Severus. He caught her and gently pulled her up to her feet. She smiled sheepishly. "Oops."
The next thing she knew, his lips were coming towards hers slowly, as if giving her time to move away. But she found that she was sure about this, for the first time ever. She closed her eyes and kissed him.
Properly this time.
She began to move her hands behind his head, entwining her fingers with his silky hair, as his own hands encircled her waist, making her nerves feel as though they were on fire just by his touch.
When they came apart, they lingered slowly, each taking every detail about the other as quickly and precisely as they could.
He smiled at her, unknowingly sending shivers down her spine. "Ok. I am attracted to you." He said.
A/N: Yes, the Brandon thing being his 'kind of man' is a sad joke for those who know that Alan Rickman played Colonel Brandon in the film version of Sense and Sensibility.