Disclaimers: I don't own anything except for Hope, Faith and Dustin.

Memories

Chapter 10: The dream

First snow of the year.  Rory and Tristan are asleep, exhausted from playing in the snow for hours.  Rory looks out the window, everything outside is white.  She can't even see Babette's house.

"I can feel it, it's coming!"

"Mom, it's freezing."

"Everything is magical when it snows!"

Rory starts to sob.  She is surprised that Tristan is still asleep.  Trying to get up without waking Tristan, she sees a shadow in the corner.  Rory freezes in the bed, now trying to wake Tristan up but he doesn't even move.

 Rory hears the shadow speak, "Don't be scared Rory, you're asleep.  That's why you can't wake Tristan up."  Coming out of the shadow, Lorelai sits down on the bed beside Rory.  She continues, "I'm in all your dreams Rory.  I was always in a corner or behind you.  But I'm always there.  I just never thought you would see me.  Maybe it's because of the snow."  Rory smiles a bit at her mom before holding her tight.

  After a while Rory whispers, "Magical things happen when it snow!  I missed you so much mom!"  Tears falls freely down Rory's as she holds her mom.

Tristan wakes up when he hears Rory's cry.  He sees her sitting on the bed holding her pillow.  He whispers, "Rory?  What's wrong Rory?"

  When Rory answers, "Mom, I don't ever want to wake up from this dream.  I missed you too much!"  Tristan sits down when he realizes that Rory is dreaming.  He takes the place of the pillow in her arms and holds her tight.

Rory feels Lorelais' arm finally holding her.  Resting her head on her mom's shoulder, she hears her mom say, "I don't want you to mourn me forever Rory.  I want you to live.  I've been with you every step of the way and I'll be there sending you signs." 

Without letting go of her mom, Rory starts to reply, "But…"

  Lorelai cuts Rory, "I don't have a lot of time, I need to get back.  I just want you to know that I don't have any regrets.  I lived my life the way I've decided to live it.  I want you to do the same thing from now on and I don't want to be your excuse to miss out on things."

"Are you saying that…"

"…it's your decision, only yours.  But if you decide to marry him, I'll be there approving and happy that you finally acknowledged your feelings toward Tristan."

  Rory is about to protest when Lorelai continues, "I've known since that day at the country club.  Your eyes were shinning and you were engaged in an easy conversation with him, bantering as if you had practiced it all your life.  I've seen the sad look in your eyes when he was sent to military school!"  Kissing her daughter cheek softly, Lorelai whispers "I have to go, but remember I'm never far.  I love you sweet heart."

  Rory sobs and screams, "Don't go mom!  I love you so much and I miss you too much!"

 But Lorelais' shape already disappeared.

 Rory wakes up and find herself in the arms of Tristan.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He whispers.

"My mom was there, but it was only a dream, it was only a dream but it seemed so real!"

  Tristan makes her lie down still holding her and murmurs, "What was she saying?"

  Rory answers between sobs, "I… don't want… to talk about it… yet."

"Rory, what's wrong?  You look as lost as when we found you in Montreal.  Did something happen between you and Tristan?"  Rory looks at Hope, tries to smile but fails and looks at the table in front of her.

"I had this dream about my mom, she was talking to me.  It seemed so real but yet it was just a dream.  Now I feel like I lost her again because for that minute or two, I thought that she was back."

  Hope takes Rory's hand in her and replies, "I had this dream once, it was when I wanted to have a baby but after a year of trying nothing was happening."  Rory looks into Hope's eyes while listening, "One night, I felt like I was waking up in bed, my grandmother was there, sitting right by me.  Dustin was asleep beside me and…"

"Grandma?  What are you doing here in the middle of the night?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I've always been proud of you, I'll always be!"

"But why now?"

"Because I want you to know that I've been watching over you everyday since I left this world.  I wanted to tell you to erase all the doubts you have right now, I know you're going to be a wonderful mom, I've met your daughter's spirit and I wanted to reassure you.  Everything will be fine!"

Her grandmother's shape starts to disappear and Hope whispers,"Don't go now!  There's so much I want to tell you!"

 A lingering voice is heard, "I already know everything that's in your heart."

Rory is crying while she asks Hope, "Do you really think that it could have been my mom?"

"I don't know Rory, all I know is that the following Saturday, I was late in my periods, I had all these doubts in my head about being able to be a mom or not.  I took the test, and after a year of trying to have a baby, I was pregnant."

"Tomorrow is Christmas's eve, anything special you want?"

  Rory rest her head on Tristan's shoulder and whispers, "Your love?"

"You already have that; I was talking about something special."

"As I was saying, I want your love."

Authors note: 

Siaram.