A Rose By Any Other Name.

By Kes.

Disclaimer: Alas, 'tis not myne.

"If I hear just one more time how important these bloody exams are, I swear I'm going to kill somebody!" Ron marched down the corridor, glaring at the petrified first years.

Harry grinned and gave up attempting to catch up with Ron and walked with Hermione. "You know, I'm not sure, but I'm guessing that the stress is beginning to get to him..." Hermione laughed.

"Ron, where are you going? We've got to eat! Well I do anyway..." Hermione walked causally off into the Great Hall, whilst Harry went to fetch a fuming and panicky Ron.

As she walked into the Hall, Hermione bumped into someone. She looked up, wide eyed. "Severus! I'm sorry...are you all right?" His eyes stared at her form for a minute. "Yes Herm-Miss Granger. I am fine. Your arm..." He touched her arm lightly "Are you hurt?" She shook her head. In a lower tone, he added "I shall see you later." She shivered at the resonance of his voice as he walked into the Hall.

A little dazed by her encounter with her boyfriend-who-people-must-not-suspect, Hermione carried on walking whilst delicately touching her arm. The people around her looked a little suspicious.

As Harry and Ron walked into the Hall, Hermione felt a pair of eyes on her back. She turned around and smiled faintly at the dark haired man staring back at her. To anyone else, he would have been looking through her, until he smiled.

There was a noise at the Gryffindor table as a red head rose hurriedly from the table after seeing the couple's exchange. "Hermione!" hissed Ginny. She went across to Hermione, grabbed her arm in a seemingly friendly way so that she could move the besotted girl to her seat. Ginny looked around nervously whilst sighing dramatically and saying a little too loudly "I heard what Flitwick said, Mione. Don't worry about the exams just yet..." so that anyone who cared - who admittedly were not that many - would just think Hermione was daydreaming and panicking about the exams.

As if on cue, Hermione joined in the conversation "It's Professor Flitwick, Ginny." This seemed to put enquiring minds at rest.

As they sat down at the table, the boys joined them. Ginny smiled nervously at her brother. "What was that all about?" He asked as he filled his face with a chicken wing.

With a practised feigned innocence, Ginny looked him in the eye and enquired "What was what all about?" whilst kicking Hermione's leg severely under the table. Hermione had the grace to blush and answer Ron. "Oh, I felt ill, Ginny just thought that I should sit down and have something to eat. I haven't had that much today..."

"Are you okay? Would you like to go and see Madame Pomfrey?" Ron cast a concerned gaze at her and swallowed his chicken.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me. You've got to get ready, or have you forgotten that you and Harry have Quidditch practice?"

"Yeah yeah, I know. But it's dead boring...and the Captain's a right slave driver." He said, grinning at Harry the Captain of the team.

Harry rolled his eyes, hit Ron slightly over the head, grabbed a BLT sandwich and said "That's ten more laps around the pitch for you Weasley!" As he got up and strolled towards the doors.

Ron laughed, and began to follow Harry out of the doors. He caught up with him "Wanker!" He yelled as he ran through the doors.

"Why are boys so immature?" Enquired Ginny.

"You're asking the girl who's dating a man..." Replied Hermione, grinning slightly.

Ginny laughed, then sobered. "You have to start being more responsible. Both of you." She stated, as though Severus could hear her. "This is more serious than people assume. Your future career and life in the wizarding world is going to be hard enough being a muggle-born and friend of the boy who lived, without you messing it up by having an affair with you-know-who-I-mean..." She whispered.

"Gin, I'm well aware of the consequences. Both of us are. And, for your information, it's not an 'affair', it's a relationship. You make it sound like I'm his mistress or something..."

"Well I don't know the details of your sex life do I?" She grinned as she saw Hermione blush, not out of embarrassment of being 'found out', but mortification of someone even thinking about her having an intimate relationship with a man. She had thought about it, naturally, but she was intensely private.

"Anyway," Ginny carried on as if oblivious, "When are you going to tell Ron? He needs to know. And he'll find out eventually. He always does. He's Fred and George's brother...not to mention he has me as a sister...I've taught him a few tricks, such as using a text book and your wand to copy the words into your own handwriting..." She smiled, reminiscing.

"Well I know, but in case you've somehow forgotten, when you and Harry started going out, he interrogated his best friend and made him have some sort of exam, to make sure he was suitable for his little sis." Replied Hermione.

Now it was Ginny's turn to blush. "He's a little over-protective, I'll grant you, but he means well...but you will tell him?"

"I'll ask Se-er...you know...about it. See when he thinks I should...Not that I'm going against my feminist roots or anything..." She added at Ginny's glare.

"Good!"

She flopped lazily into the chair beside him in her room.

"Sev."

"Mmm?" He asked, eyes not leaving his book.

"Sev!" She looked at him pointedly.

"What!" He replied exasperatedly, finally lowering his book.

"Do you think I should tell Ron?"

"About what?"

She rolled her eyes. "Us, silly." She got up and started to massage his shoulders, removing the bulky black robe to reveal his black shirt underneath. His head rolled back onto her hands and he sighed.

"Yes. You should tell him. You two have history, so I guess he should know...although I remember the test that Pott - Harry had to complete before he was allowed to date Miss Weasley, so I shudder to think what I should have to do...assuming that he won't try to kill me." He smiled sleepily.

"Don't make fun of Ron, he cares about me."

"He loves you."

Hermione froze. "Yes, well maybe he does, but I doubt it's really love. I did go out with him for a while, remember? It's probably infatuation or something, although admittedly Lavender would be a more stereotypical person to lust after..."

"Yes I do remember you two going out. I didn't think you were a match though..."

"You wonder about student romances?"

Severus grinned whilst attempting to stifle a yawn due to Hermione's shoulder massage. "Occasionally. Of course you and Weas - Ron - being together made Minerva positively ecstatic throughout the period of time. Thanks for that by the way..."

She smiled. "You're welcome. But I thought she wanted to kill him."

"Oh she did. When she found out her surrogate daughter had been tainted by a hormonal male Gryffindor...I thought it was rather funny. She'd always seen you as rather innocent I suppose, but I knew you weren't always. No one is. Except perhaps Miss Weasley..."

Hermione laughed. "Ginny?! You've got to be kidding me, that girl is about as innocent as - "

In the period of time that it had taken Hermione to think up a retort, Severus had risen from his seat, turned Hermione to face him, and kissed her lightly.

She smiled slightly and murmured "charms homework" somewhat half-heartedly, and gave in to the kiss that increased in intensity.

"Forget charms." He muttered as he slid his arm around her waist and brought her closer to him. She moaned slightly and pushed her hands underneath his black shirt, feeling his warm skin beneath her fingertips.

"You wouldn't say that if it was potions..." She replied when she temporarily broke the kiss as she felt Severus' lips slowly make their way down to her throat. He laughed deeply at her comment, a sound which reverberated to her insides and she shuddered.

He looked up. "Cold?" She shook her head.

She laughed gently, "I wish..."

After a few more minutes things started getting steadily more intense, Hermione backed away. "No. Please, not yet. I'm-I'm not ready. I'm sorry..." She looked away, blushing.

Severus took her chin and turned her head towards him. "No. It's okay. I don't mind, really."

She laughed harshly, tears threatening to engulf her. "I managed to fuck Ron didn't I? What's wrong with me? Why can't I...you know...with you?"

He smiled slightly. "Does it matter? We are both extremely private people, and I'm not as ahead as you are in a matter of tallying you know..." It was his turn to look embarrassed, so he sat down, avoiding her eye. Suddenly he wondered why the hell he had spoken at all.

"Really? How many women have you...er...had sex...made love...whatever with?"

"Three."

She stared. "Really?"

Severus sighed. "When I was your age, Voldemort was rising. Most Death Eaters - ie, Malfoy - idea of a lover was a poor muggle girl, and in the second rising, it was poor muggle girls old enough to be their daughters. I've...'made love' to two women, my first when I was about your age. The second was a few years after that..."

Hermione sat down. "And the third?"

"Was a mistake..."

When Severus realised that Hermione wasn't going to intervene, he continued.

"I was forced to...rape a young muggle girl...by the name of Eliza Driftwood. She was one of the reasons that I had to leave the DE. I'd managed to prevent from having to 'involve' myself with the DE's more vulgar obsessions by keeping up the facade of being power hungry and trying to work my way up the ladder, and so I was excused from having to 'perform'. But Malfoy made me do it..."

He was silent for a long time afterwards, not looking at anything, just staring as if in memory.

"My two twin sisters. They were older than the girl, they were in their seventh year when I was in my first. But I still remembered them at the age of the girl. I kept thinking that some young man was at home waiting for his elder sister to return. But she never did. I was the last thing she saw. All I could do was say sorry as she lost consciousness for the last time..."

His eyes glistened slightly. "Even Albus doesn't know. I've never told anyone. There hasn't been anyone since her. I couldn't do it. I keep feeling that I might hurt someone, that they might not want to..."

"You'll never hurt anyone. You won't hurt me. You stopped when I asked you to. We'll be okay. I mean, we're both messed up, and we're both working through it. Together. Okay?"

Her eyes too began to glisten with unshed tears as she sat on his lap and they both slowly fell asleep entwined together by the fire.