A/N: It's been a hard few weeks. My writing has taken a hit...so here's my version of a filler chapter just to get me back into the habit of busting out super awesome chapters. Blessings to you, dear readers. -NR.
Fight for You (Kiya Alexius)
May
Brittany's POV
"How are you, Britt?"
"Tired." I sat back on the couch and took in the wreckage of the living room, there was finger paint, food, and stickers on almost every surface, but that just meant the kids were happy and distracted. "What about you?"
"I packed up Court's room this morning. I'm not sure what to do with her stuff...did you want any of it?"
"Yeah...are you sure you want to give up the house?"
"Yes. It's time. Your father is always working, and I'm just here day in and day out staring at pictures of you girls. It feels like a shrine."
"Are you coming with Dad when he comes?"
"I think so. He insists that there's room on the plane, but you know how much I hate flying."
"The kids...and I miss you. We never got to see you when I came there, and it was really nice of Sandra to send the plane. You might as well come and spend time with me."
Mom sighed, "Brittany, sweetie, if you want me to come to help you with the kids, just say so."
"It's not that."
"No?"
"Okay, maybe a little. I'm supposed to be getting ready for work in another month, and I'm up like 15 pounds."
"15? That's a lot for you."
"I know...will you come...help?"
She paused, as always hearing what I wasn't saying.
The truth was that I was falling apart, and I needed her to fight for me while I fought for my wife.
"How long do you want me to stay?"
"Forever."
"You don't mean that."
"I do...please?"
"I'll pack the big suitcase and stick around while things get sorted out, but I won't make any promises about staying longer than a few weeks."
"Okay."
I kissed two tear-filled faces in the lobby of the daycare and felt my whole heart squeeze tight.
"Mama will be back, I promise." I knelt there and held out a pinky to each of our babies.
Izzy grinned through his tears, but Dani didn't seem convinced.
"Where, Mami?" She demanded, stomping in frustration.
"Away."
"I want Mami!" She huffed, and I nodded.
"I know, Dani. Me too."
"You get Mami?" She asked, looking so hopeful.
"Soon."
How do you explain to a two-year-old that there were still 6 days to go before her Mami could even think about coming back?
"You be back?" Dani sighed, looking older than two...in fact, she looked exactly like Ana when she gave in to one of my ideas, over me but going along anyway.
"I promise." I wiggled my pinky at her, and she finally squeezed it with her little one. "That's what I'm talkin' bout! Give Mama more kisses before you go play all day."
They both kissed me, their tears soaking my cheeks and ruining my makeup, but I didn't care.
All that mattered was that when I left them, they both had a smile on their faces.
Once I was outside, I finally let the sadness wash over me.
"Britt!" I turned to my left, and there was Sugar in one of her ridiculous outfits that disguised just how vicious she could be. "I've been calling you all morning! Where are you headed?"
"Um...to...uh...Long Island."
"Is that where she is?"
"Yeah."
"Nico wants to see you. Does Santana know you're coming? Can you put off seeing her for now?"
"What does he want?"
"He didn't say. Just that he needed to see you as soon as possible. I called you, and when I got no response, I figured I'd just come over here."
"I've been visiting every day, but she refuses to see me...but I haven't stopped trying."
"Why does she deny you?"
"She's always been ashamed of what the drugs do to her. Marco is there, though, probably talking to her all the time...so I feel like I should be able to see her too."
"Wait...you know?"
"If I've learned anything from Nico...I don't think he'd like us standing out on the sidewalk talking about this stuff."
Sugar rolled her eyes but agreed.
"Fine, we can talk on the way to Nico...maybe for once, you listen to your wife and don't go visit."
I was annoyed, and right then, Grady's voice popped into my head. "Do you ever spend time with people who don't know what your wife's pussy tastes like?" And while it was so mean to say, he really did have a point.
Maybe it was Ana denying me for the last few days, or maybe it was the fact that we shouldn't be going through this bullshit...again, but I looked Sugar straight in the eyes and snapped.
"Go tell Nico that I don't work for him; if he needs me, he knows where I live. Make sure he knows that I don't give a shit what promises he plans to make. If he can do something, fine...if he can't, he needs to stay the fuck out of my way. All that Santi, my love bullshit is just that. When she has needed him, he has failed her, every time and so have you." Then I turned away from her and stormed back inside, leaving her looking like a guppy fish on the sidewalk.
Fuck Sugar. Fuck Nico. Fuck everyone that got in the way of Santana and me.
They all knew that she was in danger, and no one had taken it seriously.
Not even me.
But never again.
I had to do better and be better from that moment on.
Each morning, I'd been driving to Long Island and asked if she would see me, but Dr. Clover said the same thing each time.
"She is asking for the time...and space to deal with all that has happened."
It felt like she was slipping away from me, and I wouldn't let that happen again.
So I thought, if I just kept showing up, she'd be ready to see me, but I left feeling rejected each day.
Even though she'd told me to bring my dad to her, I was having him hold off until the 14 days was up.
In the meantime, I gathered my savings, which was literally just every paycheck from work, put in an account I never touched for over a year, and sent it to my mom.
After talking to Sugar, I went back to the apartment, turned on Gloria Estefan at full blast, and began cleaning the apartment from top to bottom.
Just dusting, sweeping, and mopping the loft took two hours. By the time it was finished, I felt a peace that usually only came after lots of sweet lady kisses and banging my wife into oblivion.
As I made my way down to the main floor, my shirt was soaked through with sweat, so I took it off and changed over to Marc Anthony.
With the laundry going, the dishwasher humming, and the surfaces all cleared, I finally let myself relax for a moment.
I opened my phone screen, bracing myself for bad news, but I had one single text.
Student of the day.-Daycare
There was a picture of Dani grinning at a girl holding her knee with a smile and tears on her face.
What happened?-Brittany
Abby fell, and Daniela distracted her by making her laugh. The best mood she's had in a while.-Daycare
Awesome! Thank you!-Brittany
Seeing my daughter fix her face and smile through missing her Mami made me feel even stronger.
I put my phone back on the charger and went back to cleaning.
Everything was spotless as I finished folding the laundry a while later. My stomach was grumbling, and my body ached, but it was the good kind which was my favorite.
I was thinking that maybe the next step in distracting myself would be dancing all day...or maybe offering to teach a kiddie dance class.
With that idea swirling in my mind, I almost didn't notice the door opening. When I saw Quinn with Beth's hand in hers, it threw me for a loop.
"Hey Q...what are you doing here so early?"
"Where are the kids?"
I looked at the clock on the oven and saw that it was nearly dinner time.
How zoned out had I been?
"Daycare still...would you mind picking them up?"
"Sure thing. Are you going to be ready when I get back?"
"Ready?"
"It's Friday, B...you told me to meet you here so we could drive to Scarsdale...you know, for the weekend festivities?"
"Festivities?"
"Mother's Day weekend, everyone's going to be there."
"Almost everyone." I muttered, and she flinched.
"Right...almost everyone. Does this mean that you don't want to go? We can stay here and go up for Sunday dinner if it's too much for you?"
I looked down at Beth's hopeful face as she gripped the strap of her pink overnight bag and knew I couldn't let her down.
She hadn't gotten to spend a Mother's Day with Quinn yet, and whatever Sandra had planned was sure to be amazing.
How could I deny her that?
Ana would want me to go.
"Oh. Um...yeah, I'll get a shower."
When we got to Scarsdale, I got complete proof that my wife was still pulling strings even in rehab.
Waiting in the living room, in their comfy pajamas, were my parents.
"Hey! It's about time you lot go here!" Dad said as he scooped up Izzy.
"I didn't know you were coming...I thought you'd come next week." I said, feeling unprepared.
"Santana arranged everything. She wanted you to be surrounded with love this weekend...at least that's what she said this morning." Mom said.
"You saw her?" I didn't know what to feel about that.
"Video chat, she looks much better than I thought she would." Mom put her arm around my shoulders and pushed my hanging jaw back into place. "I'm here now...it's okay for you to let go."
Before I could look into her eyes, she pulled me into a tight hug and didn't let go.
It was a classic Pierce family hug that I had missed way more than I realized.
Which is why I burst into heavy sobs in her arms.
"Mama, no cry!" Dani called from beside me as she rubbed my leg. "Mama cry, Dani cry." She said with a shaky voice.
I pulled away from my mom then and got down on my knees, "Hey, it's okay to cry." I said, "I missed my Mommy just like you do."
She nodded and then threw herself into my arms, wailing.
We were a whole sappy mess.
"Is everything okay?" Beth asked her mom, and I smiled at them over Dani's shoulder.
"Sure, Sweets. This is how some people act when they miss each other."
"Did you cry for me when you missed me?" Beth asked, and Quinn smirked.
"Of course, but never like this; I mean look at them...there's snot everywhere." Quinn teased, and Beth giggled.
"Gross."
That kind of tough talk was just the kind of thing Ana would have teased Quinn for, but I just rolled my eyes.
Video chatting seemed like the best idea then.
Why hadn't I thought of that?
I turned to my dad, who was flying Izzy through the air, "Dad?"
"Yeah?"
"Can we video chat her now?"
"She said we could anytime."
The tablet chimed for a full minute before it connected.
And there she was, with her glasses on and her hair draped over her shoulders.
She hadn't been expecting me, but when she saw me, her eyes lit up.
"Hey, B." She smirked.
"Hi."
"I miss you."
"I miss you too but not as much as these monsters."
Dani climbed onto my lap and stared at her Mami without saying a word.
"Hi, baby girl!"
"Mami." She squeaked.
"I miss you soooo much!"
"Mami?" She was near tears again.
"Can you count to ten for me?"
That seemed to get Dani back into gear.
"Yes!" And then she held up her hands and counted just like Ana had taught her to.
"Good job, Baby girl!"
"Love you." She said back before squirming back off my lap, satisfied that Ana still existed.
My wife looked at me with a grin.
"Where's Papa?"
"He's standing there looking at me with wide eyes."
"Let me see him."
I turned the tablet around, and his eyes lit up.
"Mami, okay?" He asked.
"Yes, Papa."
"Mami come home?"
"Soon, I'll come home once my boo-boos are better."
"I see?" He asked.
I heard the shuffling and peaked down at the screen, she lifted up her shirt, and there was the cast that wrapped around her whole upper body.
"Big boo-boo! You okay?" He asked her again.
"Yes, Mama made it all better."
He looked at me with pride before looking back at her.
"I love you." He said, then he blew her a kiss.
Mom and Dad took the kids to the kitchen in search of food, with Quinn right behind them...leaving me alone with my wife for the first time in over a week.
She had removed her glasses and looked nervously at me.
"You told off Sugar and Nico." She told me as if I didn't know that already.
"News travels fast. Are you mad?"
"No, definitely not, B. For all their talk, when I was in danger, they left me high and dry."
"Exactly."
"You feel like you left me too...right?"
"Well, yeah, I did."
"You had your reasons, B. I forgive you, even though you shouldn't feel sorry...so much went wrong. After talking it through, over and over again...I realize that he was going to get to me, one way or another."
"Why won't you see me?"
"I'm not ready, B. When I see you, I want to be able to jump in your arms and never let go. I get this stupid cast off tomorrow, and then I'll be in gen pop for the rest of my stay."
"Have you decided then?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"I'm coming home but to Scarsdale...I can't be in the city for a bit. I need the quiet."
"Okay...we can do that."
"Yeah?"
"Of course, whatever you need, baby."
"Good. I'm glad you feel that way."
"What does that mean?"
"The FBI is wrapping up their case...with my help, they've ransacked his place and watched the video of everything."
"Yeah?"
"Hearing date is scheduled for September 10th. I...have been thinking about going to stay in Lake George for the summer."
"But...I have to work...I can't be three hours away."
"I know."
"Then how will we do this?"
"By this, do you mean us, B?"
"Yeah."
"It doesn't matter where we are, Britt Britt. You and I are solid. Nothing can change that. I bought that diner in Lake George, and your dad agreed to stay up there with me...to work on getting it opened by Labor Day."
"He did?"
"Yup. You'll be working six days a week, which means we will barely see each other; I need some accountability. So I'm putting myself to work; I'll be on the ground hiring, training, and designing this place with the only man that I trust with my whole life."
"And what about my mom?"
"She agreed to stay in the city with you...if you want...that way, the kids don't have to miss pre-school or you."
"But what about them missing you?"
"I'm not tied to Lake George; we can meet in Scarsdale on weekends...or any day really."
"You've put a lot of thought into this."
"I know, and if you don't want me to do it...your mom also said that she'd go stay in Lake George with your dad, and I can go up on weekends to make decisions."
"But you want to be up there."
"I do...if you're okay with it."
"The kids already miss you, Ana. Way too much."
"I know."
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course...we can discuss it more when you come to pick me up in few days. We still have a whole month before you have to be at work anyway."
"Okay."
For days, I'd been running around after the kids, so when my parents had decided to take them and Beth for the night so I could go have a night out, I felt guilty for leaving them.
Even as I showered, then got dressed in a skimpy dress and heels, my stomach a little pudgier than I remembered. I kept thinking of how my wife was sitting in a white room with nothing but a secured tablet to keep her company.
Quinn, though, wasn't having it. The moment I was presentable, she dragged me out of the house.
We ended up in a packed gay bar; up on the stage was a drag queen in gorgeous makeup singing Landslide.
Quinn yanked me into a booth with two other women; she immediately greeted them and explained who I was.
"This is the Brittany S. Pierce?" She put her manicured hand out, and I shook it.
"Hi." Then I leaned close to Quinn. "How do you know these people?"
"We met one night after Celia, and I broke up, found out we are all pre-med. Chrissy is at NYU, and Jaime is at Fordham; they used to be a couple, but now they're not. They live in Westchester and commute."
"Yeah, we do, we've tried to get Quinn here to move in with us, but she refused, told us she was already part of a trinity."
I felt dumb when I turned to Quinn and said, "You're part of another trinity?"
"Yeah, with you, B." She rolled her eyes, and the girls laughed.
But it didn't feel good.
Obviously, I knew she meant Santana and me. Still, for a moment, the old Brittany came storming back, saying dumb comments when I feel uncomfortable.
Ana would have gotten that; she always did.
I hated being here without her, and then Landslide was still going.
"I need a drink." I said and then left her in the booth that I had no intention of going back to.
Instead, I climbed onto a barstool and yanked my top down enough to expose extra cleavage like my wife had taught me.
The cute bartender came over and looked at my boobs and then smiled at me.
"What can I get you?"
"Something strong but sweet."
"How sweet?"
"Like candy but stronger."
"Do you like Tequila?"
I thought of that night in Rachel's basement and grinned.
"Yes, can you put an extra shot in?"
"Sure, can I see your id?"
I nodded and pulled out my id from my bra.
He looked at it and then handed it back.
"Would you like to open a tab?"
"Yes."
"Do you want to cap it?"
"Cap it?"
"Yeah, a cut-off amount."
"No thanks."
And that's one of the last things I remember.
I came to with sloppy kisses being pressed against my neck while hands groped my body.
The music was still pulsing as I hummed along.
When I felt my dress being lifted, all the air left the room, and I began to fight.
"What the fuck?" A guy in a pretty wig said.
"Get off." I muttered.
"That's what I'm trying to do!"
I was shaky-legged as I slid off the counter and stumbled towards a doorway.
When I stepped back into the club, the stage was dark, and the music was even louder.
Everyone was dancing, and then I was being pulled to the side.
"Thank God! Where did you disappear to? It's been like three hours!" Q said as she adjusted my dress. "Is that a hickey?"
"Huh?"
"I'm taking you home...how'd you end up like this?"
"Sunrise." I squeaked, and then the room was spinning. "Oh, God." I groaned.
We made it outside, the fresh air waking me up even more.
I found a potted plant by the door and threw up, my body shaking as tears came...then snot. Then I was giggling, thinking about Beth's grossed-out snot face.
Quinn rubbed my back, but then there were other voices too.
"I found her shoes."
"Glad I stayed sober." Another voice said.
"Are you finished, B?" Quinn asked sweetly.
"You made me feel dumb." I muttered.
"I'm sorry." She said. "You're not dumb."
"You're doctors."
"Inshallah." The one voice said.
"Let's get her in the car."
My head was pounding as I rested against Quinn while her two friends talked endlessly.
"Don't tell Ana." I said to her.
"I won't have to." Q said as she traced her fingers over my neck.
"Huh?"
"Shhh, close your eyes. I'll let you know when we're there."
When I woke up the next morning, it was with Quinn sitting at my bedside with a tablet in her hands, talking softly.
"Hey." I said.
She looked at me and then down at my chest...neck?
"Your parents took the kids to Sandra's. Santana called...she wants you to come to see her."
"Seriously?"
"Yes."
"When?"
"Now...get a shower, and I'll meet you downstairs."
Quinn looked upset, and I couldn't understand why. Isn't she the one that insisted on going to that club?
It wasn't until I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror that I realized why.
My neck and chest had bite marks and hickeys all over.
Shit.
This was so NOT what Ana needed to see.
And then I was freaking out that she already knew what happened because she knows everything all the time but then I convinced myself that was insane unless Quinn told her.
I rushed through my shower and then cursed myself for not being as good at makeup as my wife was.
The only foundation that I could find didn't match my skin tone...and then...after trying for like twenty minutes to get her foundation to match my skin, I gave up.
Fuck it.
No more lies, that's the promise that I had her make to me, and I had to hold myself to that too.
So I got dressed normally and then pulled on a hoodie that covered my neck.
How did I let things get so far?
Quinn sat in the passenger seat with oversized sunglasses and a travel mug of coffee.
"Do you know what she wants?"
"You don't remember much about last night, do you?"
"No...why?"
"We got back here last night, and I left you to go check on the kids. When I came back, you were sitting in your bed, naked talked to San."
"I don't remember that."
"Well, you did, and you yelled at me when I took the tablet from you. She glared at me and demanded that I call her in the morning. When I did, all she said was to have you go see her."
"Fuck."
"Yeah."
"I almost had sex last night, Q. With some guy in the bathroom...I pushed him off when I realized what was happening."
"You told me last night, B."
"I did?"
"You wouldn't stop talking about it...then you said something about Grady and tasting San's...you know."
"I didn't...crap."
"Did he really say that you know about you being surrounded by people who slept with your wife?"
"Yes, and he's not wrong. Is he?" I glared at her, and she turned pink.
"Right. I'm sorry."
The last time that I had seen Ana in person, she was bruised and shaking.
Even though I had seen her on the tablet, I think I was still expecting her to look like shit.
When we got to Dr. Clover's office, though, there she sat with her hair hanging around her face as she prayed. The rosary beads traveling through her fingers.
Dr. Clover gestured for me to sit next to my wife. I had left Quinn out in the hallway while I faced the love of my life.
When I sat down, Ana lifted up her head and looked at my hoodie with a stare that seemed to be trying to look through it.
"Show me." She said, her voice clear and confident.
"I can explain." I blurted out, "You know what tequila does to me...I'm sorry."
She glanced at Dr. Clover for a long moment and then turned back to me.
"Can you please show me, Britt?" Her voice was still calm, even if I felt like the worst wife in the world.
I pulled the hoodie off and then lifted my eyes to the ceiling.
Her cold fingers, the same ones that had been caressing prayer beads, were tracing over my neck and chest. Then she gripped my chin and pulled it down so that I was looking at her straight on.
"I stopped it as soon as I realized what he was about to do." I said, and I could see a spark in her eyes.
"You still smell like booze." She said, then she pulled me forward by my shirt and sniffed. "Did you smoke?"
I shook my head.
"Not that I remember...all I know is I got drinks, one after another...then I was on the bathroom counter and he was kissing my neck...then he pushed up my dress. I didn't mean for any of it to happen. I just got lonely, I guess."
"Someone taking advantage of you and you doing this because you were lonely are two different things."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm not mad...I expected it."
"What? Why?"
"It happens when I go away...not surprised."
"Is that why you banned me from seeing you?" I snapped, and she flinched.
Right, she was healing from trauma.
No yelling.
"A little. I...just needed space."
"A break, just say it." I pressed her on it, and she shrugged.
"Call it what you want."
"Yeah, I don't think you living in Lake George for three months is going to work."
"What?" She was glaring now. I knew that even if she said it was up to me if she got to go, she had her heart set on not staying close to me and the kids.
"You are recovering. I think it's best for all of us if you stay home with me. My parents will be fine up there by themselves."
She wasn't looking at me anymore. Instead, she was up on her feet pacing.
I noticed that she was walking with a slight limp and had her arms wrapped around her middle.
"Santana, use your words to communicate your feelings to Brittany." Dr. Clover cut in, and Ana stopped, looking straight at me.
"What can I do to change your mind?" She asked me.
"Nothing. You should be with the kids and me."
"What about Lima? I could go there?"
"No. There is nothing there for you."
"I have business there."
"Walker has taken over the business, I know because my dad told me. There is nothing for you there. It's time that we both stop running away and take care of our business. Our kids need us both."
"Fine."
"Great."
She looked back at Dr. Clover. "Where's Officer Coleman?"
"You're serious?" Dr. Clover asked, shuffling papers.
"Yes. The judge says I can go home, the doctors say the same thing...I want to go home now. You heard Britt, I must be with my kids. Tomorrow is Mother's Day, and I want to go home."
"Ana, you can't be serious. There are still five days left."
"I don't care. Look at your neck...my babies look sad...and I am doing NOTHING here."
How could I argue with that?
"You can't leave, Mrs. Lopez. It's court-ordered, 14 days in this facility before you can discharge yourself."
"But I haven't committed a crime."
I looked at my wife, trying to argue her case with her therapist and Office Coleman. She was near tears as she gripped my hand.
Officer Coleman stared back at Ana with a raised brow.
"Attempted murder is a crime, Mrs. Lopez. There are consequences if you break this order."
"Like what?"
"A warrant and a trip to Rikers until the trial."
"In September?"
"Yes."
"That's bullshit...I got immunity!"
"In exchange for your testimony and a 14 day stay in this facility. If you break that deal, you go to jail."
"Fuck." She pressed her face against my shoulder and took shaky breaths. Everyone was still until she sat back up, straightened her shoulders, and nodded. "Fine, can I at least stay in triage?"
Dr. Clover, who had been silent to this point, finally spoke up. "Yes."
Ana looked at me and pressed a damp hand to my cheek. "Will you be okay without me for a few more days?"
"Of course, I've been holding it down." She looked at my hoodie again like she could see through it, and I felt myself go red. "That was a dumb mistake. Now that I've seen you, I'm okay. I promise."
"I love you, Britt Britt."
"I love you too, Ana banana."
When we got back to Ana's triage room, Quinn was sitting by the bed talking to Marco.
Ana didn't even speak to them. She just gripped my hand tight while I helped her back into bed.
"Can you brush my hair, B?"
"Of course."
I brushed through her tangles while Marco answered Quinn's hundreds of questions.
My wife picked at her nails and hummed to herself.
I could see a shake in her shoulders and then heard the first whimper.
"Marco?" I cut him off, and he looked up, finally noticing the tears.
"Yes?"
"Would you mind taking Quinn for a walk? I need some time alone with Ana."
"Of course."
We waited for them to leave, then she pulled at my hoodie until I was lying in bed with her.
It felt good to have Ana pressed against me, even if she was crying.
"None of this is your fault, baby. Shhh. I'm here, okay."
"I just want to go home." She muttered.
Holding her while she cried reminded me of the kids doing the same thing about her.
"We want you home, the kids and me. We miss you so much."
"Yeah?"
"Yes, and once you get out of here, we are going to rent a house for the rest of the month up in Lake George...so we can have that time."
"Really?"
"Yup. We can come back to the Scarsdale house, and I'll commute down to the city for work."
"Thanks, B."
"I'd do anything for you, Santana. I love you, now and forever."
"I love you too, Brittany. Beyond the stars."